Harry's body twitched. "No" he whispered. "No!" he yelled out.
Spencer slowly woke up, opening her eyes slightly and looking at Harry.
"Cedric!" he screamed, eyes closed.
"Harry?" Spencer sat up. "You're dreaming Jamie, you're okay" she rubbed his arm.
"Leave him alone! Take me" he shook his head.
"Harry" she said louder.
"Stop!"
"Harry" she shook him slightly. "You're dreaming, you're okay. You're safe, wake up."
Harry's eyes opened quickly, widening as he punched her back. His legs were beside her hips, his arm against her neck.
Spencer gasped for air, hitting his back as he pushed down harder.
"You're okay" she croaked. "Harry- you're hurting me" she said out of air. "You're hurting me" her voice croaked.
Harry looked around the room, taking it in. As he realized where he was, and what he was doing, he pushed himself away from her.
Spencer coughed, soothing her neck with her hand.
"I'm- I'm sorry" he said shamefully.
She sat up, shaking her head, "it's okay. Just a nightmare."
He got out of the bed, "I'm sorry" he said before leaving her room.
She got out of bed and applied salve on her neck, trying to get rid of the visible redness.
"Lily" she whispered. "Lily."
James appeared. "Hi."
"Hey James."
"Lily's gardening, told me you called?"
"Oh, uhm, yeah" she awkwardly looked around.
"If it's about girl stuff, I'd say I'm pretty well versed in the subject" he smiled.
She chuckled, "I'm sure you are" she sat down on her bed. "Not girl stuff, it's about Harry."
"What's up?"
"Well, he's been having nightmares" Spencer answered. "Usually he's just talking in his sleep, but this time..."
"What happened?"
"I tried waking him up, and... well he pushed me over and pressed his arm down on my neck" she confessed. "And he ran away to his room... I'm worried they'll be worse when he leaves."
He sighed, shaking his head. "I'm sorry."
"No, it's- I know it was an accident. But how do I help him with that? I mean, nightmares are scary by themselves but he hurt me. I know he's beating himself up about it."
"Sirius always talked about his nightmares, said it made him feel better" he offered.
Spencer nodded, "yeah."
"I'm sure it's guilt that's fueling them, guilt doesn't easily go away. You just learn to live with it." He walked toward her bed, sitting beside her. "I appreciate all you do for him, I don't know if I ever thanked you."
She shook her head, "you don't have to."
"I do, if I were alive you'd feel my appreciation."
She sniffled, nodding. "Sometimes I feel like he's better off without me."
"That's not true" he shook his head. "He'd be alone without you, and probably less emotionally aware of himself."
She gave him a teary smile, "I'd hug you if I could" he frowned.
"Thanks James, you're a great friend" she wiped the tear off her face.
"You're family. So if you're ever in need of a talk, I'm here. I know I've been a dick lately, but I'm very grateful for you."
"Likewise" she nodded. "I should go see how he's doing" she stood up.
"You can't fix everything Spencer, but you can be there and try to glue everything back as best as you can" he said before leaving.
She walked downstairs, "hey" she said from the door of his room. "Can I lay down with you?"
He shrugged.
She got next to him, placing her head on his chest and hugging him tightly. "Don't feel bad Harry, people have nightmares all the time."
"I hurt you" he sniffled.
"You didn't mean to" she shook her head. "Besides, you're sorry and I forgive you."
She could feel him shake his head.
"You're not a bad person, you made a mistake" she sighed. "Do you wanna talk about your dream."
"I see Cedric" he said softly. "I always go back there" his voice cracked.
She nodded, listening to what he was saying.
"I know they're going to get worse... when I leave."
"It's a normal reaction."
"It feels real" he whispered. "And I can never change the end."
"It wasn't your fault" she spoke. "I know that doesn't help, but you did everything you could. You told me so yourself."
"Yeah" he whispered. "I miss him" he confessed.
"I know kiddo" she sighed.
She heard him sniffle.
"You should write a letter to him... to let him know. Might help."
He nodded. "Can we go back to sleep?"
"Yeah, do you want me to leave you alone?"
"No" he shook his head.
"Okay."
──────⊱⁜⊰──────
The drive to the train station was quiet.
She could see from the mirror that Harry was staring out of the window, his head resting on the door.
Remus stared at the road in front of him, he was sad.
Spencer was still able to tell as much as she didn't want to.
She hated how easily she could read him.
"How's the summer homework load Harry?" she asked.
"Just have to read a lot" he mumbled with a shrugged.
"You know, Sev told me that this year you'll be learning about poison antidotes" she commented. "That sounds fun, I never did that."
"It'll probably just be the theory" he shrugged.
"Theory is how you learn" Remus replied.
"I guess" he said unenthusiastically.
Spencer bit the inside of her lip.
"I'm sure he'll plan something fun, if not you can always write to me and I'll show up and teach his lesson."
Harry chuckled. She smiled at that.
"You should've taken McGonagall's offer, you could've actually been my professor."
"McGonagall offered you a position?" Remus asked.
She cleared her throat, "I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life Harry, I still don't."
"That and you were like mega emo for no reason."
She laughed out loud, "I was not mega emo" she rolled her eyes.
"Andrew states and I quote she was listening to Green day at the beach."
"Billie Joe Armstrong will become iconic you mark my words."
"Maybe we should move to America" Harry replied.
She chuckled, "really? Why?"
"I feel like we'd fit in there" he shrugged.
"Yeah but everyone we know is here."
"We'll have each other."
She smiled, "I'm sure they'll tour."
"Who's going to go with you?"
"I'm dragging you along."
"Ugh."
She smiled as she saw him look back out the window.
She drove into the parking lot of the train station, once she parked Remus stepped out and went to the trunk.
He carried Harry's bag as they walked inside.
"Andrew put some snacks in there in case you get hungry" Spencer noted as the train came into view. "And belly packed you actual lunch."
He smiled.
She told him about a gift she placed in his bag, "don't let anyone see it, okay?" she whispered.
He nodded, not being able to speak. She could see he was biting the inside of his mouth.
She caressed the side of his face, tearing up.
"I had so much fun with you" her voice cracked. "I promise you we'll have fun again" she nodded.
He sniffled, nodding again.
He hugged her tightly, not wanting to let go. Over the intercom they called his train number, it was departing soon.
She took a deep breath, wiping her face before he could be able to see the tears that fell down.
She took a step back, letting Remus say his goodbye.
Harry had laughed at something he said as they hugged.
After a moment he looked up at Spencer, motioning her to join their hug.
She smiled as she shook her head.
Harry insisted.
She got closer, he pulled her in.
She felt Remus' arm wrap around her back, she was able to smell him.
Her amortentia.
She cried against Remus' chest, trying as best as she could not to move too much.
The last call for his train sounded.
"Looks like it's time" Harry took a step back. "Don't cry" he wiped her face.
Spencer chuckled, "go, I'll be fine."
"Promise?" he asked.
She kissed the top of his head, "I promise, now go before you miss the train and Dumbledore locks me in a dungeon" she chuckled.
He hugged her again before walking away.
Remus and Spencer stared at him carry his bag, he waved at them before getting on the train.
They waited until it was out of their sight. Then they walked to the car in silence.
She should've done more.
She should've applied to be his guardian while he was still in school.
She spent all that time wallowing in her sadness when she should've been doing something.
They got in her car, both staring at something insignificant in the distance.
Remus finally turned to look at her when she broke down sobbing.
He didn't know what to do other than to place his hand on her shoulder, trying to soothe her.
"Please don't touch me right now" she pleaded in a whisper.
He took his hand off of her shoulder.
"It'll be okay" Remus replied.
"I'm so sick of people telling me that" she shook her head.
He sighed, "I'm sorry."
She started at her steady her breath.
"Let me drive" he offered.
"I can drive" she shook her head.
She took a deep breath, nodding to herself, "I can drive" she repeated.
Suddenly her phone rang, Harry's number popped up.
She chuckled as she picked it up, "hi" she sniffled.
"I forgot something" he replied.
She looked at the back seat, "nothings here" she said.
"I love you."
She chuckled softly, nodding to herself. "I love you too Jamie" she replied.
"Thanks for the phone" he added.
"Call me anytime" she answered. "Sleep a bit, okay?"
"Okay" he agreed before hanging up.
Spencer took a deep breath before starting the car.
They drove back in silence.
"Sirius wants you to come inside" Remus told her as she stopped in front of his house.
"No" she shook her head. "Not today."
"He's insistent" he added.
"You can say annoying" she turned the car off, staying in her seat.
"He's annoying, but means well" he added.
They went inside, Spencer took a quick step back as she heard someone yelling from beside her.
She bumped into Remus' chest, "Filthy mudblood! You don't have any right to stand here in my house, the house of my blood."
Her eyes widened as Remus placed a silencing charm on the portrait.
"What the hell was that about?"
"Sirius! You forgot to silence the portrait" Remus walked into the living room.
"We have got to figure out a way to permanently shut her up- I hate doing it every 30 minutes" he stood up from the couch. "Hello love" he kissed her head.
"I've never..." she thought about how she had never heard the portrait before. "You've been silencing her every time I come over?"
"Yeah" he smiled at her. "Come" Sirius dragged her up the stairs to his room, Remus stared at both of them leave.
"Who's the lady?"
"My mother" Sirius answered.
"Oh."
"Yeah" he nodded.
"Sometimes I forget this was your childhood home" she looked around the room. "This used to be your bedroom?"
"No, I refuse to sleep there" he shook his head.
"Can I go see?"
"Why?" he looked back at her.
She shrugged, "it's your childhood bedroom."
He stared.
"But if you'd rather not, that's okay."
He gave her a soft smile, "maybe some other time, for now I just want to cuddle with you" he took his shirt off.
"And is this for you or for me?"
"For both of us" he laid down. "I'm sad, I imagine you're even sadder" he pet the empty space beside him. "Besides, I'm in dire need of skin to skin contact."
She chuckled, laying down next to him. She placed her head in his chest, her arm laid over his body.
Time was a funny thing.
They were in this exact position last year, only under different circumstances.
"I missed laying down in the same bed with you" Sirius said.
"Me too" Spencer replied. "I'm sorry I haven't been over as much as I should be."
"Don't worry about that" he shook his head. "In a way, I understand why."
"I love you B" she replied.
"I love you too" he kissed the top of her head. "Don't you forget it."
"You make it hard to."
He chuckled, "good."
She smiled to herself, "how have you been, doing okay?"
"Yeah" he nodded. "I'm doing okay."
"You can always call me, beg me to come over."
"You're not mine anymore" he shook his head.
"I'm always going to be yours" she replied.
A moment passed, "I'm lonely" he said.
"So am I, we can be lonely together."
"You don't deserve to be lonely."
She took a deep breath, "you don't either."
"Mason's not treating you right?" he asked.
She chuckled, "nothing of the sort... he's perfect" she sighed. "That's the problem."
"Problem?"
"I don't know" she answered. "I don't think I deserve him sometimes, you know?"
"I get that" he nodded. "But it's more like he doesn't deserve you."
She chuckled, "you'd say that about anyone I date."
"Because it's true."
"I tried picked a fight over a movie a couple weeks ago."
"How'd that work out" he chuckled.
"He just said we like different things and there's nothing wrong with that- he does not want to fight" she shook her head.
"Maybe that's exactly what you need" he shrugged.
"I don't know what I need" she sighed.
They didn't talk after that, with her index finger she drew on his body. Following the muscle from his abs. Tracing scars from his past.
Time flew by, then Spencer realized he was lightly snoring.
She smiled as she heard him, slowly she took her body back.
She sat up and stared at him.
He was nothing if not beautiful.
She gave him a soft kiss on the cheek before putting on her shoes, then slowly closing the door.
Spencer walked down the stairs, she stopped midway as she found Remus waiting for her at the bottom.
"Hi" he spoke.
They stared at one another.
"... hi."
"You doing okay?"
"Yeah" she walked past him, going to get her jacket.
He cleared his throat, "you're leaving?"
"Yeah, Sirius fell asleep" she answered. After a moment she looked up at him, "bye" she said before she walked to the door.
"You don't want to stay?" he asked her back, her hand was on the door knob.
It took a moment for her to reply, "no, I should go."
"You should stay" he walked closer to her. "Keep me company."
She turned around, he was closer than she realized.
"Goodbye Professor" she left the house.
She got in her car, then turned it on. "Video killed radio star" her speakers sounded.
She looked at the radio, smiling at it.
As she drove back home, she sang the song to herself.