So woke around 5:16
Currently 6:18
Forgot the date!
Tuesday February 20th 2024
Okay. So I had a one on one fight with my self trying to figure out weather to take the trash or not. I chose to do it early in the morning. My dad won't be home tonight. So hone alone Yay!!! Finally pace from him....for some time. This may be a crazy day....yeesh. kind of wish I was off but at least I got myself wattpad to talk about my day into. Okay that might be just the main reason I got this for. That's kind of why I stopped on branchishot. Witch I'm still on just won't be as much cause I'm trying to get this up.
So back to the trash.
So I don't really like doing things after a long day at school. Parents don't understand that it can be tiring and make us work. I wanna work but I'm so tired, my brains fried. The only parents who will ever understand are parents that are teachers. They get rest!!! It ain't fair. You think that having a dad work with trash is easy? No.
It's kind of like living with a person who owns a building. It's not fun.
And I struggle with real friends. Oh you'll get friends with your dad's trash money. Secret...they'll use you for your money....I didn't see it cause of how easily I'm talked into stuff...*signs* I should of knowned better.
He also blamed my friend as well. And let's say she got into this whole fight with her mom. Then she was depressed for the whole week. I felt bad for her.
So back to the trash. When I get home I'll be very tired and feeling like nothing and got other things to do. So I will do it now then later. The trash is out when I go ill have to quickly do it. So when I come home. One less thing I gotta do. Currently watching YouTube on the world's most evil kids. Not all are evil. Some just are mad and some are kids that are just like 3 and all and don't understand a thing.
Anyways. I might have to be doing it in a bit cause my buss comes at 3:40. It used to come a bit late. Don't remember the hold up. It's me first then two other kids from where my school is located. Yeah they could walk but their autistic. Like I don't know how to explain it without getting angry kids. I got a slight autism. So it not like I'm throwing them under. I think it's because they aren't good at direction. Yeah not all are good normally but that's not what I mean. If you understand you understand. I don't wanna say it without hurting anyone.
I'm listening to music and doing this at the same time and it's not easy for. It's kind of distracting but it's also calming at the same time. So it's bad and good at the same time.
It his Antarctica out here🤣🤣🤣
I got a winter jacket and I'm and shivering and we got our good old homies out here in damn shorts. You all are possessed or something.
Oh, i got coffee. What am I doing.
Don't taste de best....it has to be the sugar.
Ew one of my songs from 2023 is up. Karma. That's what it's called. It's kind of old. Where the hell is this damn bus!!! Oh not at 40 it's 6: 39.
I can't feel my fingies
YOU MAKE ME SPYICHO!!!
It's a lryic in the song. I told you it's crazy. It's bouncing from good, branch anna. Ooo skyler is up. See, it's all over the place....like my feelings💀💀💀
I'm going to turn into and icicle if they don't get there ass over here.
Damn they later as he'll. 6:43. Finally!!! They just got here.
Just got on.
Trying to warm up.
The other side of the storm is on. Yeah I also got Justin and a mixture of trolls. I need more... XD. Yeah, it's crazy like's.
Also for some reason I thought the trash was tonight....idiot it's tomorrow. I'm tired🤣🤣🤣.
Also my dad is obsessed with he words "work together" or "We'll figure it out" I figured it out. And "we" don't it's you. STOP USING THE SAME WORD ALL THE DANG TIME!!!
😮💨😌yeah....I am to much like him😂😂.
How many of you know these singers.
AF
Tom McDonald
Masked Wolf
That's all I know for now. Those are my darker side of the songs.
Tom is on. He's a rapper if you don't know em.
Yes I can sing a little bit of it.
Dummies is the name of it.
Basically saying people are the brightest....it's the darker side to the world. Talking the negative side to life. Ooo!!! Tomorrow's pj day! Yippee. I got to speak to Mrs. Handsone. About our outfits.
Ooo who sings this.
Neoni. (Darkside)
Do you want me or my monster. Cause they'll drive you bonkeeers....
Cross my hart name hop to die, welcome to my dark side.
Ik, see its dark music I got.
So you may see me very nice and all. But if your going through things. I'm your person to go to.
I even made a new chapter on branch book. On my branchishot account.
I was on the edge of sleep doing it🤣🤣
Sky is on again.
Americans I think.
It sounds like branchieeeeeeee.
Yeah that's why I listen to his songs cause I hear branch instead.😈😈😈
And some songs melt me into a puddle🥺🥺🥺
There was a song that really makes me feel stronger about my life.
Branch is healthy for me bitches!!!!👹👹
Well, other then the not man maid one in my forest.
Ew the song said creek!! Bullfrog!
Nah she said farmers creek. I just hate the word creek now. DreamWorks destroyed the name for me😤😤 ooo were at school.
Branch is up in two hours. I asked when he wakes. He said 8. So imma be a good friend and let em be. Tom is up again. (Fighter) see some of them are good.
Ooo time to go
7:00
8:15
Ooo he might be up. Okay
Well, ugghhh ocean has to speak!!!!
I was replying to my aid cause she was saying something about new York being colder then here. She was asking my bio teacher.
And ocean had to tell me "she's not even speaking to you" l8ke boy shut the hell up.
Then when I went to the bathroom I asked em why he comments all the time and he said "I dunno" God he's so annoying. And while our teacher was trying to help us with some questions he spoke randomly.
Like boy mind your own business.
He's going to say you speak when it's not even you I'm speaking of. Well, boy that's cause I'm speaking for a friend dumbass.
Annoying as hell!!! Second period.
Drawing and painting with Mr. Koch. Getting good at his name....at last it's short😕
Anyways.
Oh I was also getting a drink. The bell wrung but I gotta a hall pass.
Anyways.
Love you~
8:20
9:07
Just got out. On the way to 3rd period essential skills.
Just life stuff.
Just got here.
I'm tired. This period my teacher has ADHD like I do. She helps me understand myself better then I know my own self. She was also my past aid.
Also I found out for 2nd period my teacher asked if we wanted a paper for permission to go on a field trip to a art museum.
I went to the Franklin Institute in 9th grade but not an art one in New York. We went to the institute in Philly if you not familiar with it.
Love you~
9:13
10:11
My gosh!!!! These kids!!! I went into he bathroom and this dumbass decided to yell"this school is the most racist school"
My anger is over boiling. It is not!!! This is why I listen to music so I don't have to hear lids bullshit!!!
I can't believe I controlled my temper cause I'm about to beat someone. Why am I taking it personally? I just deeply hate racism. I don't understand it. Just accept people!!! I'm on a walk. I needed to so I could have some time to talk about it. And I knew it would be a lot. But apparently there was a girl who was black and she had to be armied by the state soldiers. Dang ain't no one going to try anything.
Feel better now.
Love you~
10:16
11:09
😥😥these kids!!!
This is to much.
Why am I here?
These kids are giving these adults a hard time!!!
I'm at lunch with my 3rd period teacher.
Love you~
11:11
11:24
I didn't feel like writing it at the time. But in English we were in this place the school has called the Aution. I don't know how to spell it. Sounds like the auditorium but it's not. Where kids can learn and study.
But the kids friends kept coming in and they were chatting with them distracting them from doing their school work. One time I was telling a friend of mine to leave Brittany remember her? Yeah. She gave me the branch look after I told her friend and my friend to go away.
I mean, I also did mention I was looking out for her and she told me she was doing it all at home. Apparently according to Mrs. Handson she isn't. Cause I told her and she rolled her eyes and shook her head, but I already knew cause I over heard her saying she has nothing from her.
So I dunno. So therefor we can't be in there anymore. Was our last day today sadly.
Also today I saw these boys wearing fake fairy wings. It was so cringe.
Anyways.
Love you~
11:30
2:12
Well, it's been crazy.
I had lunch with my teacher and then i sweat it was short. The bell rung sooner then o expected.
I went to history. Oh I have 6th lunch then went to 7/8 witch is history. I got a few things done.
Then 9th period is math but. I couldn't be around people I was still pretty angry and wanting to cry so not having my case manager around I went to jer daughter. If I went to my 9th period math. I'd be getting asked why where going to be doing some stuff don't you wanna be doing that. "No! I wanna be in a place that's quite and away people and all the kids in their are special needs. Like uhhh, down syndrome, autism. And maybe more. But I couldn't be in there. It would be way to noisy. Way noisier then loud classes. I mean they shout and all. You expect me to get through a half an hour under stress and wanting to cry. I do a lot but today was like. I needed to short my feelings out and I had to think of the most mature way to do it. And get this! No one asked where I was. But apparently my aid came up. Somehow knew where I was👁👄👁. Then said that they were doing a science lab.
Also I went to my 3rd period teacher again. Yeah, she was my only other one thay understood me. I have another girl I can go to. But I barley know her. She wanted to meet with me. I said no. She's going to try next week. I'm probably going to do that.
Then I went down. It was crowded bur there was a few tables with less people. I ended up making a paper airplane that didn't turn out so well😶😶XD
Then after that we walked up and I went to my 10th period. Nothing happened in that class but. I kept being asked by my classmates that why they didn't see the dance tickets sold. There's a dance ticket for the winter dance. Their about 10 dollars each. But...I dunno. I know the spirit week is this week. I asked one of the members and she said yes. But the spirit week adds up to the winter ball. Maybe it'll start tomorrow.
Trying to help my firends so they don't keep asking me. It's stressful. If you know, you know.
Also my buss likes to leave before 2:15 that's when we get out of school. But we need to leave early so I have to go around 2:05 and for some reason my aid decided to leave the room around 2:02 like girl, we don't got the time💀. But despite of that I went without her🙃. My teacher asked where I was off to so when my aid comes back she'll be able to tell her where I went. I said "my buss" she said " can you wait for her" I said "no they wanna leave early and they want me to come around this time. And she said "okay go on. I'll tell her that" I guess my aid didn't notice the time.
So I went without her🙃I gotta be mature when it's needed. I'm independent!! But it's a must that I gotta be around her. But she can be on my butt at times.
So I'm on the buss. Oh dang....we're down to one kid. This time I'm the last off the buss. It makes sense that I'm the first in the morning. I'm the closest to them and they work their way down. Now we're in the township we're in their closer so who's house is the closes goes first. So it makes sense. But I'm used to it. I've always been the last one.
I get very lucky if I'm not. I get lucky when I'm the first. But normally I'm the last.
This is Fighter from Tom. I'm listening to it currently. This is very helpful for believing in yourself when your low.
Okay the last one is about to get off. Their a bit slow but I'm a little patient. I'm kind of happy cause I'm about to be home alone. Calming😌😌I need it after all today was like.
I got things in my head screaming. It's so loud I wanna cry. It all started with that bathroom incident. Now I look back at it, I don't think I should been so angered from it🤨. Whatever.
I just got a notification about my phone being at 10 when it's 38. I'm a bit happy about it, it's a little low. Not thay but I do need some energy.
Last one!!! Going home!!!
Then school is going to happen😥😥*signs* I can't wait for Disney. I'm about to break a wall down🤣🤣🤣.
I used to love school. Until I got into 9th grade😐😐. The kids made me think about school different. Not my favorite. I try....I really do😢😢....WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT!!!
I like this thing I got going on 🙂. It really Let's me get my thoughts and feelings out.
After I started to talking to you guys about stuff and seeing branches entries I thought.....actually, that wouldn't be that bad of an idea. Let me try it.
It's so healing I swear😫
And one thing that I did notice. You guys are always there and it makes me feel like I actually have people who actually care and won't neglect me for who I am. And I love you all for it. You might not see it but wattpad is like family. Some of you might be new but I'm not.
Uhh I dunno how this happened.
I switched it over but it has a mind of it own and does it itself. What is wrong with the wattpad on here😡😡. Is it cause of my phone? I'm actually so confused. 😮💨whatever. If I can write I can write.
Anyways. I went on a walk today. And I got this random call I was going to hang up til I decided to answer it, it was my councilor. I didn't know I had it. So I was a little mad about thay surprise cause you know I didn't wanna handle people today. God was she annoying😤😤. Like she's always trying to make you happy when you don't need it. It's like having poppy as my therapist. I love her optimistic but please help me!!! I'm getting annoyed by her.
Also before that. I said I was going to see if I could help my dad with the laundry. I honestly didn't feel like doing it. So instead, I cleaned....and got board of that😁. That's when I decided to watch a little trolls the best goes on then went on a walk. Saw one of my neighbor and his cute furry dog. She's not little. I think she's a bit bigger then my dog. But yeah. I went home watched more trolls got my counciling call then watched more then got a call from my dad. Was a little Agitative. So he told me to call when I was calm and hung up. I felt bad, but I couldn't help it.
Oh! My councilor told me what I can do to make tomorrow the best day I can ever have. Like "girl, I ain't no troll" and I told her I can't cause of all the things in school and I listed them all and she was like "I never said school" I said "no you said tomorrow and tomorrow's school" I still gotta go to school no matter what you say. If anyone of you wanna reach out to me. I'd love it. It might make me smile. It might calm me down a little as well.
School isn't my happy place. I got safe places....but still.
Also were going to Disney but the person who ls going to watch my dad ls company still hasn't gotten the money. SHE HASNT DONE ANYTHING!!!
I know I can be lazy but still! I want a vecay😭😭it's not much!!! Just let me have it. I wanna be with my birth mom that I haven't seen since this Christmas and she wants to see me. I miss her deeply and I want to spend my time away!!! It's not much😭😭😭. I never went to Disney and never had a vecay in my life!!! I never ask for anything at all!!!
*bangs on the wall in frustration*
.......*looks at you guys* sorry. Side that I haven't shown on here. I act very childish when I want things badly. And and and I mean that in like a good way. I'm nit spoiled don't get me twisted☺️☺️. I swear I'm not. I ask my dad why he gets me so much and he tells me I never ask for anything. I hate asking for a lot. I feel like I'm using em and I hate feeling like that.
*signs* its been crazy. Lol. Not ready for this weak. Usually I'm xan get through the week...but I feel powerless and I don't know why. Do I miss someone? Is it Mary? Yeah it might be her. I'm gonna see what we can do. I wanna cry. Anyways. Shit forgot to add the time in the beginning. Eh whatever
8:41 holy!!! It's late as hell!!!!!
Eh whatever.
Love you~
9:00 I'm sobbing. Man was she the answer. I tried twice she didn't pick up😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
I miss her. I can't stop crying.
Anyways. Til tomorrow I guess. Night🤧😢😢😢😭😭😭
9:02
Adios