Written: January 27, 2024
A few days later, I find out that North will be dealing with business in Pyongyang for a few weeks. I approach his room with a playful grin, stepping in, unsolicited.
The atmosphere in North's room is different—more serious and meticulously organized, a reflection of his disciplined demeanor. He glances up from his paperwork, raising an eyebrow at my unexpected intrusion.
"Hey there, North! Heard you'll be away for a few weeks. Gonna miss your brooding presence around here," I tease, twirling a strand of hair between my fingers.
North chuckles, a rare sight. "Well, someone's going to have to bring a bit of chaos in my absence, I suppose."
I plop down on his meticulously made bed, grinning mischievously. "Don't worry, I've got that covered. Maybe I'll rearrange your bookshelf or something."
He eyes me with a mixture of amusement and skepticism. "Please, don't. I just organized it by genre and publication date."
I mock gasp, placing a hand over my heart. "The horror! Okay, I'll resist the urge to wreak havoc on your bookshelf. But, you know, you could use a break from all this seriousness. Let's do something fun before you leave."
North arches an eyebrow, a hint of curiosity breaking through his composed exterior. "Fun, you say? What did you have in mind?"
I ponder for a moment, then a mischievous glint appears in my eyes. "How about we play pretend, like we used to all the time."
He smirks, setting aside his paperwork. "You never grow up. I'm a grown-ass adult."
"You've been an adult for most of my childhood." I retort, feigning sadness. North chuckles, a rare display of amusement.
"Fair point. So, what's the scenario for our pretend game?"
I lean in, my eyes dancing with excitement. "We're explorers on a quest for a mythical treasure hidden in the heart of the jungle. The catch? We have to navigate through treacherous terrain, decode ancient maps, and face imaginary creatures to find it."
North raises an eyebrow, a smirk playing on his lips. "A jungle adventure, huh? Alright, Captain Oki, lead the way. I'm curious to see what challenges you've concocted."
With a theatrical flourish, I grab an imaginary map and hand him an imaginary compass. "Our journey begins now! Watch out for quicksand, North, it's a jungle out there."
We indulge in the playful make-believe world, the serious undertones of North's imminent trip momentarily forgotten. Laughter punctuates our banter as we navigate through the imaginary jungle, our pretend adventure a delightful escape from reality.
As we engage in the whimsical exploration, I catch glimpses of the brother I used to play with, a nostalgic connection rekindled in the midst of our shared imagination. Maybe, in these moments of lighthearted pretend, we can bridge the gap between us.
"Have you arranged a date with Russia yet?" I ask, lying on the carpet next to North. He shakes his head, sighing, glancing at the velvet box perched on his desk.
"What if she says no?" He contemplates. "I'm afraid to find out."
I prop myself up on my elbows, studying North's contemplative expression. "You've got this, North. Just be genuine and let her know how you feel. If it's meant to be, she'll say yes. And if not, well, you're still you, and that's pretty awesome."
He shoots me a half-smile, appreciating the simplicity of the advice. "Thanks, Captain Oki. Maybe I should bring her a jungle flower or something."
I chuckle. "That might be a bit much, but go for it if you think it'll make her smile. Remember, relationships are a bit like navigating through the jungle – unpredictable, full of surprises, but also filled with the potential for incredible discoveries."
North gives a nod of agreement, and for a moment, the weight of his impending trip and romantic uncertainties seems a bit lighter. As we continue our pretend journey, I can't help but hope that the playful moments we share will linger in his memory during the serious adventures that lie ahead.
"If you do end up getting married, I'd be so happy." I sigh, imagining what the wedding would look like. I inch closer to North, trapping him in a hug. A chill of anxiety creeps up my spine. What if North gets in another accident and leaves us for good? It was already scary when he had that coma ten years back. I tighten my grip on him, as if to anchor him with me.
North reciprocates the hug, a genuine warmth in the embrace. "I appreciate that, Oki. It means a lot." He gently pats my back, sensing the underlying worry in my hug.
I pull back slightly, looking into his eye with a serious expression. "You better take care of yourself over there, okay? No reckless heroics."
He chuckles, a reassuring glint in his eyes. "No promises on the heroics, but I'll do my best to stay safe. You, on the other hand, try not to rearrange my bookshelf while I'm away."
We share a moment of laughter, a mix of sibling banter and unspoken understanding. Deep down, beneath the playful facade, there's an acknowledgment of the uncertainties that come with life's adventures. As North prepares for his trip, I can only hope for his safe return, knowing that the bond between us transcends the imaginary jungles and the very real challenges that lie ahead.
"How's school?" North asks, trying to kindle a conversation. I shrug.
"It's been good." I answered. I take out the metallic pin in my hair. It's surface gleams in the sunlight. "Haven't had to use this thing yet."
"That's great." North responds, trapping me in a warm, protective embrace. "I hope you'll never have to use it." I stare at the pin. It's a traditional Okinawan hair pin that resembles a mini sword. Women used to keep it in their hair for self–defense.
North's protective embrace offers a comforting reassurance, a silent promise of safety in a world that often feels unpredictable. I hold onto the warmth of the moment, appreciating the genuine concern in North's eyes.
"I'll be fine, North. I know how to take care of myself," I say, returning the embrace. "But it's nice to know you're always looking out for me."
He releases the embrace, a faint smile playing on his lips. "You're my little sister. It's my job."
As the conversation continues, we delve into anecdotes of the past, memories woven into the fabric of our bond. The impending trip to Pyongyang hovers in the background, but for now, in the realm of shared laughter and familial warmth, we find a temporary reprieve from the uncertainties that await.
"Am I still your favorite sibling?" I ask, fidgeting with the hair pin. North nods, stroking my hair.
"You aren't mean like Japan, or emotional like South." He told me. "You're different from us all." A sense of validation and warmth washes over me at North's words. In the intricate dynamics of our sibling relationships, being acknowledged as different feels like a unique kind of acceptance.
"I'll take that as a compliment," I tease, a playful glint in my eyes. North chuckles, ruffling my hair.
"It is. Embrace your uniqueness, Oki. It sets you apart in the best way possible." His words linger in the air, resonating with a reassurance that, in our family's diverse tapestry, my individuality is not only acknowledged but celebrated.
As North prepares for his trip, I carry his words with me, a reminder that even in the vast complexities of our identities, there's a place for each unique thread in the fabric of our lives.
"I'm going to miss you." I take North's hand and play with it. He doesn't resist.
"It's only three weeks, Oki." He reassures, staring up at the ceiling.
"But what if you die?" Memories of the coma come flooding back. I was six or seven years old when I heard that North got into an accident. The first time I visited him in hospital was probably the scariest thing I've ever seen. He was hooked up to all sorts of tubes and monitors as if they were leeches latched onto him, skin pale as if he was dead. I hold tightly onto North.
North's gaze softens, and he squeezes my hand reassuringly. "I've faced worse, Oki. I'll be careful, and I promise to come back in one piece."
The fear lingers, a dark shadow of the past, but North's words offer a glimmer of comfort. We sit there, hand in hand, each lost in our thoughts, navigating the fine line between the present and the echoes of a turbulent past. In these moments, the vulnerability beneath our roles as siblings becomes palpable, a shared acknowledgment of the fragility of life and the importance of the bonds that hold us together.
"I'll be back before you know it," North adds, his tone gentle yet resolute. I nod, not trusting my voice to convey the mix of emotions swirling within me.
_______
South was on leave, so I decided to chill with him. When I entered his room, he was whistling an upbeat tune. "Hey, Oki." He greets, lying in bed.
"Hi." I stand over him, looking down at his flat expression.
"What brings you here?" South brushes hair out of his eyes, glancing over at me.
"North is leaving and he's busy, and Japan is at work, so I want to hang with you." I say, standing on top of an office chair. It wobbles under me, threatening to spin and throw me off balance.
"Oki, what are you doing?" South sighs, exasperated.
Balancing precariously on the wobbly chair, I flash South a mischievous grin.
"Just trying to add a bit of thrill to your boring day, dear brother."
South rolls his eyes but can't hide a faint smile. "Well, I appreciate the effort, but I'd rather not have to explain to Japan why you broke your neck in my room."
I laugh, jumping down from the chair with a small bounce. "Fair point. So, what's the plan, South? Any exciting adventures on your agenda today?"
South props himself up on his elbows, considering the question. "Not much, just enjoying my time off. Maybe we can watch a movie or something."
"Sounds like a plan," I say, plopping down on his bed. "Any preferences?"
He shrugs, reaching for the remote. "Surprise me."
As we settle in for a laid-back movie marathon, the room fills with the flickering light of the screen and the easy banter between siblings. In these moments, the worries of the outside world fade, and we find solace in the simple joy of each other's company.
"Aren't you an engineer or something?" I ask, turning on my back to look at South.
"Yeah, why?"
I grin playfully. "Well, since you're the engineer, I was thinking we could watch something sci-fi or maybe a movie with lots of explosions. You know, to honor your profession."
South chuckles. "Sure, let's go for some sci-fi then. I could use a break from reality."
We navigate through the movie options, settling on a classic sci-fi film that promises both futuristic wonders and the explosive action I was hoping for. As the movie begins, we share a moment of relaxed camaraderie, the familiar bond of siblings transcending the technological wonders unfolding on the screen.
By the end of the film, South was a bawling mess. The villain had a redemption arc and that made him really emotional. I pressed up against him to offer some comfort.
"Why are you so upset by this?" I ask, rubbing his back soothingly.
South sniffles, attempting to compose himself. "It's just... redemption arcs get to me. They make you question if everyone deserves a second chance, you know? Even the ones who seem irredeemable."
I nod, understanding the emotional impact of a well-crafted redemption story. "It's powerful when a story can evoke those emotions. Makes you reflect on the complexities of human nature."
South wipes away a tear and manages a small smile. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Thanks for enduring my emotional rollercoaster, Oki."
I playfully punch his shoulder. "Anytime, South."
I leave his room and go to my own to spend time alone. I've never really liked alone time, but I feel so drawn to it now. I lie inbed, accompanied by the Nakamura and Miyagi perched on the windowsill. Habu Babu softly hisses in the background.
I'm glad I didn't get beheaded by my brothers for walking into their rooms.
Reference to an old meme I made:
I'm the oldest child in my family, so I have no idea what goes through the youngest's head. This is all guesses, lol