It doesn't take any words from me for Cyrus to send the guard away and eagerly approach. "May I come in?" he asks, voice hopeful.
I hesitate for a moment, wondering if this is a good idea, but then give in, backing away from the door to make room for him to enter. I suddenly feel shy. What do I say? How do I act?
He must notice, because he says, "Please don't be so tense, my moon,"
"Okay," I reply softly, wringing my hands. I decide to walk to the bed, sinking down on it. He settles on the chair near the desk, careful not to get too close, presumably after how I reacted when he found me naked and trembling from Rex's assault. So he's just there, intense gaze set on me. I feel my cheeks flush against my will. Moon Goddess, why does he always have to look at me like that?
"I've wanted to see you. It's all I could think about, these past few days," he confesses.
My heart stutters. "W-what stopped you?"
His face is apologetic as he processes my words. "You... fear me,"
He looks absolutely dejected at the notion, and I can't help the guilt that overcomes me. But I can't be bothered to outrightly deny it anymore. I am scared. Of alphas. Of Cyrus, because he's one of them. How can I not be? Look at what they have done. But that does not mean I want him to think it's personal.
"I don't fear you. You have never given me reason to, Cyrus. I... I fear your kind. B-But it is nothing against you, I promise,"
"I know this," he sighs, shoulders slumping, "If I could change what I am, I would, my moon. If the Moon Goddess allowed, I would choose to have been born as a beta, an omega. I'd do it in an instant,"
Now that--I was not expecting. "You would give up being an alpha? I don't--Why?" I ask, confused. It's like being handed a feast on a silver platter and wishing you got the scraps that the birds were fed instead.
He's silent for a moment, giving me an overwhelmingly loaded look. "You know why,"
Oh. Oh. My stomach explodes with butterflies.
He'd give it all up for me. The power, the strength, the status of an alpha. Just so I could feel safe around him. I curse the waterworks that threaten to burst, keeping my head down so he can't see.
"Cyrus, I...." I trail off, feeling stupid. What can I say to that?
"I don't want to make this about me. I've been sick with worry, so please, tell me how you are. Did my mother attend to all of your wounds?"
"She did. Really, I'm okay," I insist, hating feeling like a burden.
"Are you?" his tone is grim, as if he knows what I am keeping inside. The sadness, the anger, the hurt. The utter hopelessness that I will ever be able to accept myself, after all that has happened to me. Why me? Why is it always me who has to suffer, to ache from wounds long gone?
"Koa,"
I chew my lip, the feeling of dread settling in the pit of my stomach. Now that he's here, it's so hard to keep blocking it out. To run from those feelings that threaten to suffocate me.
"Koa," my mate's voice filters through the swirl of negative thoughts, breaking me out of my spiral. I didn't realize that he'd gotten up from the chair and come before me, kneeling with one knee on the ground and the other leg bent to support his weight. Even with him in this position, we're at eye level with each other. Instinctually, I recoil, my heart rate rising in what I tell myself can only be fear. There's no other reason I'd be affected by his proximity, no reason at all.
"My moon. Can you look at me?" his voice is pleading, and I realize that on instinct I avoided his gaze, like I have been lately. I don't understand myself, the way my face gets hot when our eyes meet and my hands get all sweaty. It's not normal!
But upon his request, I force myself to raise my chin and face him. "W-what is it?" I ask.
"You called for me,"
"Huh?"
"I felt you, through the bond. Your wolf called to mine,"
He must mean when I was struggling under Rex, screaming for Cyrus. I had no idea that had occurred. Though, looking back, that was the first time I had so boldly allowed myself to need help. To need him. He told me he was made to protect me, and my pride disregarded that at first. I guess that, deep down, I was still relying on that promise for him to come to my aid. I allowed myself to be saved, for once.
"I did," I acknowledge breathlessly. It feels strange to admit.
"Is it wrong for me to think this means something?" Cyrus's voice is low, unusually raspy as he searches my expression for an answer.
I'm surprised at the surge of affection that washes over me as I reach out, taking his hands in mine. I nearly gasp, my skin singing at his touch that can only be described as delicious. His hands are huge, completely cocooning my own, but that doesn't stop me from holding them firm. I hear the audible hitch in his breath at the sudden contact.
"No one... no one has ever been there to save me. And I'm so, so thankful that you did," I tell him sincerely, giving his hands a heartfelt squeeze. "You are a brave, honorable man and alpha,"
His eyes widen, face coloring as he stares back at me in awe. It's my fault that he's so surprised now, because I never gave him enough credit before.
"You don't need to be grateful for what I do for you--"
"But I am," I stop him, "I am, Cyrus," I give him a warm smile, probably the most genuine I've had in a long time.
Cyrus is frozen, as if I've just grown two heads. His mouth is parted like he wants to say something, but cannot find the words. Abruptly, then, he stands up, pulling from my grasp. The flood of disappointment hits me almost immediately. Was I too bold? Did I scare him off.
"Cyrus?" I question in a small voice.
"Forgive me," he rubs a hand over his face, turning slightly away from me. "I appreciate your words, immensely. But I am not so strong right now. Your skin on mine is a... dangerous thing. If you keep touching me, looking at me like that--I will want more,"
I feel a delightful kind of tingle in my core, growing over-conscious of my effect on him. Am I really that desirable? Maybe it's just--just his wolf driving him crazy.
"You're cute," I smirk, hiding my vulnerable state behind my usual demeanor with him.
"I'd much prefer my omega to think of me as 'handsome', but that will do," he sits back in the chair, amusement in his eyes. My wolf growls lowly in order to stop me from pointing out that I have in no way agreed to be 'his' omega, and I, for once, listen to him. The mood has lightened, which is a relief. Cyrus is right--that whole thing earlier was getting a bit too intense.
"Oh, stop. What's the fun in pointing out the obvious?" I roll my eyes. When he goes quiet, I realize I basically admitted that I do, in fact, find him handsome. I mean, look at the guy.
I glance over at him, and he looks rather prideful, chest puffed and grinning knowingly back at me. I raise an eyebrow, grabbing a pillow and throwing it at him, though he dodges it expertly. "Don't let that get to your head!" I exclaim in embarrassment.
"I wouldn't dream of doing so," he teases, turning from me to open one of the desk drawers and plucking a piece of parchment from it.
My brows crinkle in confusion as I watch his fingers fly expertly over the page, folding it and flipping it in various ways. Curious, I get up from the bed, striding over to him and watching as he finishes up his craft. When he's done, I see that the paper has been transformed into the shape of a rose.
"For you, little wolf," he hands it to me and I take it, feeling myself flush at the gesture. Gah! Do not be wooed, Koa. Keep your wits about you!
"Wow," I laugh, "I bet you use this on all the omegas that come after you,"
Cyrus frowns slightly, "I don't."
His eyes find mine again, so serious and filled with a swirling abyss of emotions that I find myself mesmerized. He's so thoughtful, so sweet. My wolf whines, begging for me to close the gap between our bodies. I cannot deny that the thought is appealing. As I lean in slightly, his scent wafts over me and I nearly moan at how good it is. I could climb on him, right here. He would take me into his arms, I know he would. Those big, strong, muscular arms--
The door flings open, a tearful Oliver running into the room and a frazzled-looking Morgan following close behind.
"Mama!" he cries, burying his face into my stomach as he wraps his arms around me. He snivels into my shirt, soiling the fabric with tears and snot. Oh, my poor baby.
I am SO excited for the next few chapters. Things are REALLY going to be picking up. A new character is also going to be introduced ;))))