IT'S STILL DARK out when I get out of bed. I stumble into my bathroom, brushing my teeth and washing my face, before I rummage through my dresser to find suitable running clothes.
Most of my shorts are in the laundry, but I find an old pair of Nike Pros at the bottom of the drawer along with a cross country championship meet shirt from last season. After I put on my clothes and running watch, I apply chafing balm on the insides of my thighs (the struggles of being a runner).
Once I forgot to put on chafing balm before a race, and afterward, my thighs were so red and scraped that I couldn't walk without squatting awkwardly.
Good times.
Once I'm ready, I head downstairs and walk into the kitchen to get some water. Dad sits at the kitchen counter reading a book. He looks up when he hears my footsteps and smiles.
"Good morning, sweetheart. Going out for a run?"
I nod. "Yup. I need to get at least seven miles in today."
He shudders at the mileage as if he didn't play soccer when he was in high school. I grin at him.
"You should come with me."
He fakes a heart attack. I roll my eyes at him.
"My old limbs won't be able to handle even one mile. You have fun suffering though."
I chuckle and shove his shoulder before going to grab some water.
"Can't sleep?" I ask.
He shakes his head. "All these late nights at the hospital have made me nocturnal. I can only sleep during the day."
I hum. "At least you've become a morning person like me. Rey is going to be asleep until three at the earliest."
He snorts. "That boy needs to get a life that doesn't include sleeping or stalking his sister and her best friend."
I laugh, nodding in agreement. "True." I grab my airpods and phone before saying, "Okay, I'm out. See you, Dad."
"Have fun."
I pat his bald head, resulting in him sending me a glare. Chuckling, I wave and then head toward the front door.
The first forty-five minutes of my run pass by smoothly. I get almost six miles done when the sun starts peeking out from beneath the clouds. Stopping my watch, I slow down to a jog as I run along the path leading to the beach.
I prefer morning runs before the sun is up because I love being able to watch the sunrise over the beach. It's beautiful and perfect and so very underappreciated. Everyone loves sunsets, but not many people wake up early enough to take in a sunrise. The sun rising over the rippling waves of the ocean is especially alluring because the colors reflect onto the water.
I'm so focused on the ocean that I don't realize the figure in front of me until it's too late.
I hear a low grunt as I crash into a hard body. Cursing under my breath, I step back but stumble, causing the person to grab my arms to steady me. Warmth seeps into me as I look up into cerulean irises.
Eyes widening, I shove him away before I realize what I'm doing. He blinks, letting his arms fall to his sides.
"Autumn."
I hate that he's the only one who calls me by my first name almost as much as I love it.
His eyes drag down my body and then back up to my eyes.
"Are you on a run?"
I nod, subconsciously leaning toward him.
"You do cross country, right?" he says, crossing his arms and leaning against the railing that separates the sidewalk and the trail down to the beach.
My eyebrows raise in shock that he knows that. I didn't think he really paid me any attention save for the occasional few insults. At least not enough to know how I occupy my time.
"How'd you know that?" I ask, copying his gesture and leaning against the gate.
He shrugs but doesn't offer a response.
We turn our attention to the ocean and the sun rising above it. Pretty colors of pink and gold paint the sky as they swallow up the darkness of the night. It is quiet and serene as the sun steadily but surely rises above the rippling waves of the sea, illuminating them with a touch of light.
"I love watching sunrises," I say and then regret it.
As if he cares.
But he turns his head and quirks a brow at me. "Why?"
Without looking at him, I answer, "Because they're effortless."
He's silent for a second and then asks, "What do you mean?"
I shrug. "Sunsets are overrated. Everyone watches them and loves them. It's like no one appreciates a sunrise, but it's not like the sun chooses not to rise because of it. Don't you think it's sort of ironic how people love watching the sun go down but don't care for when it rises? When it's here, people take it for granted but when it goes away, people start to think it's beautiful. Only when it's fading away."
For a second, I get lost in my thoughts. I turn toward Jeremiah only to find him staring at me intently, curiously. Suddenly, a blush coats my cheeks as I turn away and clear my throat.
"Nevermind. Forget what I just said."
Fuck, why do I keep embarrassing myself?
We both go back to watching the sun rise overhead, silent in our thoughts. Jeremiah's close proximity messes up my senses. I hate how he makes me feel, and I hate even more that he doesn't realize it.
I glance at him through the corner of my eye. The rising sun casts an incandescent glow on his golden skin. I can't help but stare at his beautiful boyish features, the beginnings of a light smile on his lips, the curve of his cheeks and the sharpness of his jaw.
I look down at where our hands are splayed on the railing. So close and yet so fucking far at the same time. Without thinking, I stretch out my fingers slowly. Just the smallest inch, but it's enough to just barely graze his knuckle.
He shoves both of his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. I can't tell if it's because he noticed the touch or if he's just cold.
Biting my lip, I move away from him to make it seem as if it were just an accident. I sink my nails into my bare thighs, spiraling in the notion that is unrequited love. How fucking depressing, going every day aching for this person when they don't spare you so much as a fleeting thought.
Jeremiah steps back from the railing.
"I should get going," he says. "I'm working the opening shift today."
"Oh," is my stupid answer.
He doesn't look at me nor does he spare me another word as he turns and walks away.
꘏
jeremiah's pov
I WATCH AS Belly disappears into the building where her debutante meeting is taking place. There's a smile on my face as I think about how adorable she is when she's nervous. My heart aches with the thought of her racing through my head and plaguing my nights.
Shit, I have to stop.
While I may be in love with her, she only thinks of me as a friend. It sucks, but I can't change what she thinks about me any more than I can change how she feels for Conrad.
I'm so deep in my thoughts that I don't realize someone walking up to me.
"Jeremiah!" comes a familiar voice.
Looking forward, I spot Vanessa Bae. Autumn's best friend.
Knitting my eyebrows together, I reply, "Hi?"
I don't think I've ever spoken more than a couple of sentences to her in my life.
She grins as if we're best friends and this is a regular occurrence.
"I'm glad I caught you," she says.
I raise a brow, crossing my arms. "Why's that?"
It's then that I notice the paper she's clutching in her hands. She holds it out to me. I cautiously take it, peering down at the words.
Beach Cleanup.
I skim through the flier, detailing how there's going to be, essentially, a beach cleanup this afternoon.
"What's this?"
She sends me a flat look. "What the hell does it look like, Fisher? It's a beach cleanup. You know, where you clean up the beach?"
I snort, holding up my hands in defense. "Alright, let me rephrase. What does it have to do with me?"
"Simple. You're going to be there."
I scoff. "And what if I already have plans?"
"Cancel them," she replies easily.
I roll my eyes. "No thanks. I'm meeting friends after work, so I can't. Maybe next time."
I start to move past her, but she pulls me back.
"Come on, Fisher. Don't you care about the community?"
I narrow my eyes. "Why are you being so adamant about me coming?"
She sighs. "Look, no one's agreed to come, and I figured if they know that you're going to be there, your little fan club would join us."
I look at her suspiciously but can't find any reason for her to be lying. Letting out a sigh, I run a hand through my hair.
"Fine."
She beams. "Great! Be there by four! And not a second late."
Saluting me, she turns and leaves me wondering what the hell that was about.
꘏
I GET THERE at 4:30, and I'm completely sure that Vanessa is going to yell my ear off.
Walking down to where a group of people are dispersed, I notice Autumn standing beside Vanessa. She's saying something I can't hear with a strange expression on her face that I can't decipher.
Vanessa notices me first. Her eyes widen, and she grins, waving me over.
Autumn turns and looks at me, her face immediately masked with cool indifference. I'm not sure why that still gets under my skin, but it does.
"Look who finally made it," Vanessa taunts.
I chuckle under my breath. "I lost track of time."
She hums and then grabs her best friend's arm, pulling her toward me.
"Since you and Rosie are both late, you can pair up. Everyone's working on different parts of the beach with partners, so you guys can start on the other side of the restrooms closest to the Hawaiian barbecue place."
Autumn opens her mouth and I think she's about to protest, but all she replies with is, "Okay."
I mask my surprise as we both take the garbage bags and gloves that Vanessa offers.
"Good luck!"
With that, she strolls off to where her boyfriend is waiting for her. I look back at the curly-haired girl in front of me.
"Shall we?"
She nods and starts walking toward where we're supposed to be cleaning. I quickly catch up, falling into step with her.
It's quiet between us during our walk. A comfortable kind of silence that doesn't require forced conversation or the need to fill it. I don't quite realize until this moment that it's always been like this between us. Sure, we insult each other and pretty much can't stand each other, but these quiet moments between us are common.
Moments when we're both lost in our own thoughts, just basking in the other's presence without actually acknowledging it.
I glance over at her through my peripheral vision. Her brown skin is glowing in the light of the afternoon sun, her dark brown eyes turning a shade lighter. My eyes trace her soft features from the crease between her eyebrows, down the slope of her nose, all the way to her pink lips. I wish I could make her smile somehow, just so I can make sure I wasn't seeing things the other day when dimples curved into her cheeks. When she was talking to Steven and when I bought her ice cream after the book party.
I didn't realize how good it felt to be the reason behind Autumn Cortez's smile until those stupid dimples imprinted themselves onto my fucking soul.
I clench my jaw and look away from her.
When we reach the place we're supposed to clean, we quietly separate. I go to clean one side of the sandy area while Autumn goes to another. It's scary how we don't have to communicate for us to just know what to do.
It's silent between us for nearly two hours. We take a few breaks in between, just sitting down on the sand for a few minutes before getting up to clean again. Vanessa comes to check on us a couple of times, having this crazed gleam in her eyes that makes me wary.
For the most part, it's nicer than I thought it would be. Both the cleanup and also spending such a long period of time with the girl who has hated my guts since we first met.
It's not until the sun has begun to set that we finally decide to call it a day and return to the main group.
My eyes catch on the changing sky, colors blending together from the light blue to the orange and pink to, finally, indigo. I remember what Autumn said earlier about sunsets and sunrises. I didn't answer her then because I didn't know what to say in response to her analysis of the sunrise. All I could think about then was how different she seemed when she was speaking about something she was passionate about. It was as if she was alone and just letting out the thoughts that plagued her.
It seemed as though she was talking about more than just the sunrise and how people only appreciate the warmth of the sun when it's gone. It was as if she was talking about herself. People in general. Like maybe she knows someone who no one appreciated, someone who carried this burden for everyone else. Someone who was only really valued when they left and the burden finally crushed everyone the person was protecting.
Maybe that someone is her.
For some reason, I hate that thought.
Maybe even more than I hate her.
I watch her retreating back as she starts the walk back to the main part of the beach.
Before I can help myself, I call out, "You're right."
She stops. She slowly turns around, meeting my gaze. Her eyebrows pinch together in confusion.
"About what?"
I stare at her. "Sunsets are overrated."
Her eyes widen slightly, and my smile grows. I brush past her.
"Let's head back before it gets too dark."
She nods and we walk beside each other all the way back.
𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 !
i miss cross country so bad. i didn't do it this year because i was stressed for college and stuff but i wish i did. i miss the team and my coaches.
sigh.
also i love writing jere's pov like it's so fun to write two perspectives. i really want to get across that in his eyes, autumn really doesn't like him and she's super cold and indifferent to him but in autumn's eyes, she's really trying her best to let him in and show him that she's not this bitchy girl who hates everyone but everytime she tries to do this, something goes wrong or she gets embarrassed since she isn't used to showing parts of herself to others.
feedback please?? can you guys see my vision lol