Blossomtail returned to camp after her patrol, her body ached and her shoulder was still sore. She was exhausted after staying up late as well as volunteering for the dawn patrol. She trudged into the camp, letting out a loud yawn and she wondered if she should actually get some rest, or if she should go hunting.
I could probably sleep...for a little bit. Though even taking a second to rest made Blossomtail feel guilty, but maybe she could rest just for a few moments. She padded over to the warriors den but was stopped as she heard a voice calling her name. "Hey Blossomtail!"
She turned her head towards the direction of the sound, it was Petalbreeze calling her over. She padded over to the queen curiously, she could see Lightkit and Ivykit behind her swiping at her tail and the queen looked exhausted. "What do you need?" Blossomtail looked at the two kits before turning her attention to Petalbreeze.
"I was wondering if you wouldn't mind watching these two for a little bit while I get out of camp and stretch my legs with Burnclaw." She requested. "I'd ask Sedgefern and Dovepool, but Dovepool is sleeping so Sedgefern is already dealing with six kits. Think you could handle these two?"
Blossomtail originally wanted to nap, but this would be a good way to rest without feeling guilty since she would be helping a Clanmate, plus she hadn't been spending as much time with the kits as she used to. "Sure, I don't mind." She replied. "I'll take care of them."
"Yay!" Ivykit chimed, the tiny she-cat ran to Blossomtail and nearly tripped over her paws getting to the warrior. "Blossomtail I missed you! Why haven't you come to see us? Do you not like us anymore?"
"Ivykit." Petalbreeze corrected her daughter. "What did I tell you about being so blunt?"
"That it's rude." Ivykit flattened her ears. "But I just wanna know." She whined. "Why can't I ask."
Petalbreeze let out an exasperated sigh. "Good luck with her." She purred in amusement. "Thank you again."
"Of course." Blossomtail dipped her head. "And I think I'll be alright, I grew up with Oakfang."
Petalbreeze let out a mrrow of laughter and left Blossomtail with her two kits, going off to find Burnclaw, the two mates vanishing into the forest, their tails intertwined. For a moment, Blossomtail felt the familiar pang of loneliness watching the two cats so in love, but she swallowed those feelings down and looked down at the kits.
"You never answered my question." Ivykit replied curtly, her green eyes intense for a kit. "Where have you been?" She felt a twinge of guilt, she had been so focused on her duties that she hadn't been spending time around the nursery like she used to.
"Warriors are busy, Ivykit." Blossomtail replied, sitting down. "Between the storm and warrior duties, I've just about worked my paws off."
"I never even see you in camp." Ivykit pointed out, Blossomtail tensed a bit. How much does this kit watch Clan life? "Where are you all the time? Other warriors don't go out as much as you do."
"I get restless in camp." Blossomtail gave her the straightest answer that she could understand. "You know how you get restless being in your nest and you gotta get your legs moving?"
"No." Ivykit said bluntly. "I like my nest. It's soft, when it has moss only. I don't like the feathers, I don't like how they feel on my paws." Her expression seemed to shift. "Do you like feathers in your nest?"
"Sometimes, but if they touch my nose then they make me sneeze." Blossomtail replied, grateful that Ivykit seemed to have gotten distracted by a different topic.
"Is the snow going away now?" Ivykit questioned with a head tilt. "I don't like the snow."
"Yes it's going away, it will be gone for a while." Blossomtail explained. "Do you remember how much snow fell during the blizzard? This is much less compared to then."
Ivykit shrugged. "I suppose." She turned to her brother, Lightkit, who had just been sitting quietly and listening, his blue eyes soft and full of curiosity. "Lightkit do you like feathers in our nest?"
Lightkit thought for a moment and just gave a small nod. Ivykit stared at her brother for a moment. "He's quiet, he doesn't like to talk." She explained to Blossomtail. "Do your siblings like to talk?"
"They do, Oakfang especially." Blossomtail replied. "Rushtail is more quiet, so is Owlbreeze."
"Why did Owlbreeze leave?" Ivykit asked, Blossomtail's head was spinning from how many topics of conversation this tiny kit could juggle.
"MountainClan needed a medicine cat."
"So she's not coming back?"
Blossomtail shook her head sadly, her heart longing for her sister. "I'm afraid not."
"Do you miss her?"
"Everyday."
"Do you wanna go to MountainClan and be with her?" The question caught Blossomtail by surprise. She had never considered it, it never really felt like an option. Flamepetal had left, why couldn't she? She found herself genuinely thinking about it, but as unhappy as she currently was the thought of leaving SunClan...felt wrong. She couldn't picture herself in MountainClan, even if her sister was there. "Well?" Ivykit's voice pulled her back from her thoughts. "Are you gonna go to MountainClan?"
"I don't think so." Blossomtail replied genuinely. "I'm a SunClan cat through and through."
"Good." Ivykit nodded with certainty. "SunClan is the best I think, but I haven't seen the other Clans yet. Do you like the other Clans?"
Now was probably a bad time to ask that question, given the war, but she wouldn't bring that up to a kit. "Yeah, they're alright. I haven't spend too much time around cats from other Clans, aside from the other gatherings."
"Do you have any friends from other Clans?"
Only one face popped into her mind, with a permanent scowl and burning amber eyes. Her heart tightened as she thought about him, as well as their encounter the other day. Are we friends..? Blossomtail wondered. "I don't know." Blossomtail replied, more honest than she intended to.
"You don't know? How do you not know if a cat is your friend or not?" Ivykit titled her head, confused.
"Sometimes you just don't." Blossomtail did her best to explain. "Sometimes cats are hard to understand, the things they do confuse you and don't make much sense."
She could see Ivykit doing her best to process the information she had been given. "I think cats should just say what they mean." She flicked her tiny tail. "I don't like being confused, I like understanding."
"I can tell." Blossomtail purred in amusement.
"What do you mean by that?" Ivykit wasn't offended, she was just a genuinely curious kit.
"You ask a lot of questions, you clearly like to understand the cats around you. It's a good thing."
Ivykit shrugged. "I just like learning things. It's why I wanna be a warrior so bad, I wanna learn things. Will you be my mentor? You listen to my questions without getting annoyed."
"That would be up to Dawnstar, but I would love to be your mentor." Blossomtail purred at the idea. "Do others get annoyed with you?"
She nodded. "Thistlekit gets annoyed with me a lot, he tells me I talk too much and ask too many questions, but he's big and stupid. His head his full of bees."
Blossomtail couldn't help but feel amused. "He is like his father after all." She purred. "Well...I'll try and visit more, so you can ask me all the questions buzzing around in that little head of yours."
Ivykit's eyes genuinely lit up at the statement and that seemed to encouraged to go completely wild with the questions. Blossomtail happily listened and answered each and everything to the best of her ability.
It was actually a perfect way to keep Blossomtail distracted, it was the first time she genuinely felt at peace listening to this little kit talk. She was unlike any other kit that Blossomtail had spoken to, it was very refreshing and enjoyable.
At some point Lightkit had curled up at Blossomtail's paws and was sleeping soundly, something told her that Lightkit did this often. He seemed like a very soft and gentle tom, like he didn't have much to say but he always seemed to be ready to listen to his sister talk. Blossomtail rested her tail across Lightkit's tiny frame to keep him warm while Ivykit kept talking.
Time seemed to fly while Blossomtail listened to Ivykit talk and soon Petalbreeze and Burnclaw returned, both parents looking very refreshed from their outing. Ivykit broke off mid sentence as she saw Petalbreeze and Burnclaw. The little gray tabby ran off to to her parents, tripping and stumbling but making it to them happily. "I missed you! Blossomtail answered all my questions!" Blossomtail let out a purr of amusement, she was clever, inquisitive and curious, but also very clumsy.
"Is that so." Petalbreeze purred as she nuzzled Ivykit. "What all did you learn from her?" The queen asked Blossomtail. "I'm sure a lot."
"I learned she hates snow, and doesn't like how feathers feel on her paws. She also hates eating birds and the only prey she'll accept is mouse. She said every other prey type feels wrong and doesn't taste right. She also wakes up at the same time every single day and goes to bed at the same time every day."
Ivykit held her head proudly as Blossomtail relayed what she had learned. "And Blossomtail taught me everything about the gatherings and what being an apprentice is like and making friends in other Clans and MountainClan and what being a warrior is like."
"Remember to breathe when you talk." Burnclaw nuzzled his daughter playfully and she let out a playful growl and leapt onto his head, lightly chewing on his ear.
"Where's Lightkit?" Petalbreeze asked, looking around for her son.
"Right here." Blossomtail lifted her tail to show the sleeping tom at her paws. Petalbreeze's eyes instantly softened as she looked at him sleeping peacefully.
"They really are like night and day." She said as she watched Lightkit. "I swear she talks enough for three kits and I'm lucky to get a few words out of him a day. He talks to his sister, and he talks to us but he's just so soft spoken and quiet."
"I think he's just a peaceful cat." Blossomtail replied. "He likes to listen."
"He certainly does." Petalbreeze purred. "He loves listening to his sister talk, he'll fall asleep but she'll just keep talking and talking."
"It's hard to keep up with her sometimes." Blossomtail added with a soft laugh.
"You're telling me." Petalbreeze looked over to Ivykit who was still trying to beat up her father. "You know, Blossomtail, has anyone told you that you'd be a wonderful mother? You just...connect with kits so naturally."
Blossomtail felt her pelt heating up at that comment. "I've...heard that before." She used to hear it a lot more when she would visit the kits more frequently, but she hadn't thought about it in a long time. "But I'm focused on being a warrior for now, I think." It wasn't a total lie, but Blossomtail genuinely believed that she wasn't good enough to be someone's mate, let alone a mother, despite how badly she wanted it.
"That's perfectly alright." Petalbreeze purred. "Well I should get these two back in the nursery, thank you again."
"Of course, it was my pleasure. Don't hesitate to ask again." Blossomtail urged her, listening to Ivykit was a much needed distraction.
"I'll hold you to it." Petalbreeze said softly as she gently picked up Lightkit and returned to the nursery with Ivykit running after Burnclaw. She watched them go and that familiar lonely ache returned.
She couldn't help but want what they had, a mate to call her own and kits running around. She had wanted it for so long, but she just wasn't sure it was going to happen.
Blossomtail shoved those thoughts deep down inside of her once more and looked towards the sky. It was long past sunhigh now and she felt exhausted, she felt like she physically didn't have the energy to do anything else. She figured she would call it an early night and just wake up early for the dawn patrol again. She hated the idea of wasting the day, but she knew if she forced herself to keep going she would just draw attention to herself.
Blossomtail moved into the warriors den and collapsed into her nest, her body felt sore and heavy and took no time at all for sleep to claim her completely.
—
Blossomtail felt a familiar scent around her and she felt something moving at her belly. The scent of milk was also in the air along with the scent of another cat, it was so familiar but she couldn't quite place it. She opened her eyes slowly and was shocked to see three little kits at her belly. Something about the kits was...off. She couldn't quite see them, she could see that one was dark, one was lighter and one had similar tortoiseshell markings to Blossomtail.
She could feel her heart swelling with love towards these unknown kits. Are these my kits? She couldn't take her eyes off of them, but she loved them so much, with all of her heart and she didn't even know their names.
"You're finally awake." A familiar voice spoke and suddenly she realized who the scent belong to. She lifted her head from the kits and found herself looking into Slateheart's intense amber eyes, her heart began pounding in her chest.
"How are our kits?" He questioned, looking at the blurry bundles at her belly.
"Our kits..?" Blossomtail asked, her breathing getting faster. "Our kits?"
Her eyes suddenly opened wide and she shot up in her nest, her pelt feeling like it was on fire. She looked around in a panic, the kits at her belly were gone and she was back in the SunClan warriors den.
She quickly left the den, feeling like she was suffocating as she rushed out of the den and into the open, cool air, panting heavily. It was late now, the moon was in the sky and most of the Clan was sleeping. She left the camp, not wanting to draw any attention from Redclaw who was watching over the camp.
She was struggling to calm her racing heartbeat as the images of her dream flashed in her mind. Why did she have kits? Why did she have kits with Slateheart. She had never once thought about him in that way, she knew that he definitely didn't think that way about her.
Not to mention they were in two different Clans, and AshClan was in the middle of a war that SunClan very could end up being a part of as well. Any type of relationship between them was impossible and she didn't feel that way about him. She tried to convince herself that she was just emotional, sleep deprived, tired, sad, lonely, anything to convince herself that she didn't have feelings for Slateheart.
But the the thought wouldn't go away, it clung to her mind like a tick. She couldn't shake it, she couldn't get the moment of comfort she felt when she looked up, the brief feeling of bliss she had when she realized that she had kits with him. It was agonizing, she wanted it to go away but she just couldn't
Blossomtail sat in silence in the moonlit forest, staring at her paws as she willed these feelings to go away, but they just wouldn't. She let out a painful sigh, her heart aching. Why did it have to be him? Why did I have to feel this way. She looked woefully towards the sky. Why can't I just be happy for once?