I sit down in my agents office, looking across her desk. Pens and papers and notebooks were all extremely organised on her desk, I couldn't spot a single speck of dust. I've been with Tasha for seven years now.
I'd signed with her after being at two different agencies run by men who loved to tell me to 'be reasonable' about things I was already being very reasonable about. I took meetings with the best agencies worldwide and hated every single one of them, and then in walked Tasha.
She's a black women born and raised right in LA. She'd been working with a big talent agency until she had a disagreement with one of the heads of management and left and decided to struck out on her own.
"If you need to, I expect you to tell me to fuck off" she said in our first meeting "and if I need to, I'm going to throw it right back at you. We have to have a brutally honest relationship. I'm not interested in being your yes man. It's not worth either of our time"
I signed with her right then and there.
Seven years later I was sitting in her office that had grown considerably since our first meeting.
I turn towards Tasha as she sits down next to me on the couch. She's in her late fifties in a bright red pantsuit. Sometimes I think she's in the wrong field. She's too striking to be the one working behind the scenes
Tasha looks me in the eyes before leaning back on the sofa "are you sure about returning?"
"I wouldn't be here if I wasn't sure"
"It's not something to be taken lightly"
"Your talking to the person who was literally born to the sound of a tennis match playing on the radio in the delivery room"
"Well your sponsorships....."
"I know"
"You're supposed to shoot the new Decathlon campaign at the end of the year"
"I know"
"And Nike is running the 'Sporting Legends' commercial soon too, with you front and centre"
I nod
"And you have the women's football World Cup promotion shoot in a month"
"I still don't know why I'm doing that, I've never played football in my life"
"Your tennis shoes are outselling all other sport shoes for Adidas right now"
One of the most surprising things about my retirement was that it ended up with me being ten times more liked. When I wasn't around anyone, people forgot how much they hated me, and then would see me every once and a while with my brother or doing charity work - and remember how much they liked me.
"I usurpingly know this too Tasha"
"Those endorsements are all based on the image that you are now a legend. You were one of the very best athletes of all time"
"Right, and I'm going to prove that I still am"
"But if...."
I look her dead in the eye, daring her to say it.
She changed her working "if it's a matter or earning, I think, for you, there is more money to be made as a commentator or the face of a sports company than a player. We position you as an elder stateswoman of tennis. That's how we keep you relevant"
"First of all, nobody wants to hear what I have to say" I say "but second of all, it's not a matter of money, it's a matter of honer"
"I need you to really think about this Delaney. Honor is sometimes just a nice word for ego. And I will always choose money over ego, personally"
I look at her "I appreciate your advice, but it's not up for debate"
"I'm just trying to look out for your future" Tasha says
"Tasha, all I've ever had is this game"
She nods "I know that"
"And now it's about to be ripped from my hands. Leaving me with nothing"
"That's not true-"
"Yes" I say, cutting her off "it is true. I cannot let Nicki overtake my record. I need you on board"
Tasha takes a sip of her coffee before putting the mug back down "are you sure this is the right move?"
"It is the only move. I cannot convince you any further"
"Okay" she says "then I'm on board, I'm all in"
"Thank you" I say "and get ready to be proven wrong"
"There is nothing to prove me wrong about" I say "I believe in you. So what's the plan?"
"I'm going to play in all four slams this year. And I'm going to win at least one to reclaim my title"
"So your first year out of retirement, your confident you can win a slam?"
"Yes" I say "I am"
"And what if Nicki wins another one first?"
"Let me worry about that" I say, my shoulders slightly tensing
"Okay" she says "and you're not rejoining the full WTA tour?"
I shake my head "no, I just want to play select tournaments, The Opens"
Tasha stands up and walks towards her desk, pressing down on a button on the phone.
"Ali, can you get someone from the WTA on the line and find out, as quietly as possible, whether a player like Delaney would get wild cards for all four slams" Tasha spoke to her assistant
In order to be able to qualify to compete in an Open, you need to be amongst the top 104 ranked players who apply to compete. And because I haven't played a professional game in half a decade, I wasn't on the world ranked. So the only way I could play was if I could be deemed a wild card for the tournament.
"On it" Ali replied
Tasha let's go of the button "okay, what's next? What else do you need?"
"Well I could use a good hitter to hit against. Not someone who can just hit the ball back, i need someone who's at the top of their game. So I can gauge if I'm ready to play the better players"
"I'll make some calls" Tasha says "and see who wants to train with you"
"Okay" I say "but not Carter - I can't stand her. Or Johns. But anyone else is fine, they're just so perky and, oh look at me. What about Anna Wade? She keeps gave Nicki a run for her money in the final"
"Anything else?"
"I need Wilson to send me new rackets with my logo. I need Nike to send me new outfits and new shoes in this seasons colours. Should I hire an assistant again to book my travel and organise hotels?"
"If it's just four tournaments, Ali can do it"
"Okay, thank you"
"But your packing your own luggage, I'm not your mother"
Ali knocks on the door and comes in "okay, this is exciting. I have your answers"
"Tell me" I say
"Because you are a former WTA number one and you have won all four slams previously your guaranteed a wild card for any WTA event you want"
"Now we're talking" I say
"We have to file some paperwork, but it would be no problem to get you registered for the Australian Open in three months"
I see a flash of myself three months from now, standing on that green court in Melbourne, looking across the net at my opponent. I can hear the crowd and the feeling of the Australian sun beating down on me"
It's been such a long time since I've played a tournament. It sends a tiny thrill through me, like I'm a teenager again, staring up the mountain, each match a step towards the top.
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Transcript
Bill Evans: so we have some drama coming out of the women's tennis world. Jimmy, what is your take here? Delaney, The Destroyer, Ricciardo is back. What do we make of this!
Jimmy Wallace: it's certainly unexpected
Evans: unexpected seams like an understatement, Delaney ended her career after a pretty sharp drop in the rankings
Wallace: yes, she did. Though I think we would argue that's on account of her knee. Which has since heeled
Evans: but she's been gone, what, five years now? It's been a huge five years in women's tennis
Wallace: certainly, and in that time we have seen the rise of Nicki Li
Evans: And a new type of tennis
Wallace: Yes, that's true. Women's tennis has shifted away from serve and volley and we're seeing more power plays. Delaney was always a dancer, agile, graceful on the court. Li is a brute - she's a boxer. She's tough
Evans: Can the destroyer still compete in todays game?
Wallace: We will see. There's something else here that I think it's important to note
Evans: And what is that?
Wallace: Delaney won't just be playing an old style of tennis - she herself is old. No women or man has won a slam in their late thirties
Evans: and here is another question - do we even want her back? She's not the most.....well liked is she?
Wallace: They don't call her the destroyer for nothing
Evans: so maybe she shows up in Melbourne and gets sent home quickly. And then she does the elegant thing and bows out again
Wallace: I think that's very possible, Bill. Time will tell. Otherwise, Li will have to put her down