Jesse.
Lily has come home not long ago from Millie's, and she is not in the best of moods. She walked past me in the kitchen, and I heard her slam the bedroom door; at least, she is not pissed at me for once. I think. But I can't deal with seeing her like this, I have this urge of making her life better all the time, so I follow her but before entering her room, I hear her talking to someone on the phone.
"What do you think of "Da zia Maria"? It's in Borough Market."
My brows knit together trying to understand what she is talking about. There is a pause before her voice fills the silence.
"Tonight at 8 sound perfect."
More silence.
"No, don't worry about that! I'll take the tube. I'll be the one waiting in the queue," she chuckles. I hear her footsteps getting closer to the door, so I bolt to my room, closing the door as silently as possible; I don't want her to know I eavesdropped. I know I shouldn't have, but curiosity got the best of me. I open Google, and I look up the name she has mentioned, only to find out it is an Italian restaurant. She is going on a date with Sam. I can feel the knots in my stomach twisting as jealousy takes over my better judgement, and a naughty idea surfaces. I find myself going back to mine and Tiffany's messages thread, inviting her for an impromptu date night tonight, which she happily accepts. I am pleased to inform you that we are going to "Da zia Maria" in Borough Market at 8; I mean, it's just luck of the draw, I guess.
Am I an asshole?
Sure.
Would I do it again?
Yes.
When we arrive at the restaurant, Lily and Sam have just been seated. They are towards the back of the room, and I request a table near the exit; from my seat, I can see them, but they cannot see me, and I can keep an eye on my girl to put my plan in motion at the perfect time. I know she is not my girl, but whatever. I am sure he wants to take her home, holding her hand and, as they reach our front door, twirl her in his arms and kiss her. Just the thought of it makes my nostrils flare. But it won't happen; tonight, it will be me escorting her to her room. Or maybe, I'll lead her to mine. While Tiffany is with her nose deep into the menu, I march to the cashier on the till.
"Hey, man, could you do me a favour, please? Can you bring me my check when you get those guys over there theirs? We're leaving together," I slide him a 20£ note on the counter, and he hides it in his pocket, nodding in agreement. Attaboy.
Tiffany has been talking about something for the past hour, but I haven't paid any attention to it, I have just been smiling and nodding while checking Lily from the corner of my eyes, ready to jump up and surprise her. I can't stop fidgeting, tapping my foot under the table; Tiffany is not even fazed by my lack of interest, deep into her story. Apparently, a good-looking doctor has joined the team creating havoc among the young and single midwives. Why is she telling me that, I don't know.
"I haven't even glanced at him, though. I'd rather have a piece of you," she says, looking at me through her lashes. Oh, that's why. My ego is flattered, and I smile, but I cannot bring myself to tell her I want a piece of her, too. I see the cashier approaching us hastily, and I open my wallet reaching for my card because I know what he is about to say.
"Everything alright?" he asks politely, "shall I get you your check?"
"Yes. Actually, I'll come with you," I get off the chair and try to follow the guy to his station, but Tiffany's hand wraps around my wrist.
"Let's get dessert," she suggests.
I flash her a quick smile as I free myself from her grasp, "I heard they're not good here."
The cashier rings our food, and I tap my card on the reader not even waiting for the receipt to print off because I want to get in position. I see her small frame coming toward my table, and I step to the side to be in her way, but I keep my head low because I don't want Sam to spot me first. As predicted, she is distracted, and she is walking into me in three, two, one...
"Oh, my. I am so sorry! I wasn't looking..." she blurts out, tripping on her feet and grabbing my arms to steady herself. As the blushing on her cheeks becomes more evident, she lifts her gaze to meet mine, and her velvety blue eyes widen in surprise as the words die in her mouth. A little smirk appears at the corner of my mouth, just what I wanted. Surprise, love. Her innocent eyes dart quickly around the room before settling on me again, watching my every move through her long lashes, and I swear I feel my cock twitch in my pant just at how she is looking at me.
"No worries, love. It's not the first time you crush into my chest," I shrug, revealing the most innocent smile. It's not the most suggestive thing I have ever said, but it's not the worst either. "Fancy seeing you here," I add.
"Likewise," Sam's voice reaches my ears, but I don't move my eyes from the girl in my arms. He's not his usual chirpy self; actually, he seems pretty upset. Like I give a fuck; if he dares coming closer to get her away from me, I'll fucking punch him. I am not a violent person, I have never been, but Sam's presence just fills me with rage. I know, though, that Lily wouldn't be happy, and neither would the school I teach at, so we have reached an impasse, it seems.
"Were you leaving? Tiff and I were going, too," I nod in her direction, and my date circles the table and comes to stand near me. She waves at Lily, but my best friend doesn't reciprocate as she is too focused on Tiffany's low neckline. I trail my eyes down to the exposed skin quite obviously, and I make sure Lily catches me. Her blue eyes turn black as annoyance takes over, and her tiny hand clenches in a tight fist that I know she would love to aim at me. Are you jealous, Lily-bear?
"Actually, yes," Sam spits out, but I am paying no attention to him until he asks Lily if she's ready to go. Not so fast, mate, that is not my plan.
"Sure. Lovely seeing you both."
She takes a step forward, trying to escape as quickly as possible, but I wrap my arm around her waist, stopping her from moving further. She tilts her head to the side to get a better look at me while I stare down at her, the whole world around me disappearing.
"Are you going home by tube?" I ask, and she nods yes. I can feel the awkwardness growing like an over inflated balloon ready to explode, but I could care less. And I know she feels the same because she can't take her eyes off me either. Good girl, keep looking at me.
Here comes the next step of my plan.
I turn my head around to face Sam, "well, Tiffany's stop is on your way home, Sam. Lily and I are obviously going to the same destination; I'll take her home, and you can make sure Tiffany gets off at her stop."
I glance down at Lily, and I can see her pupils dilating even more while the pink stain spreads from her cheeks to the tip of her perfect little ears. You weren't expecting this, were you? I'm gonna count it as a victory, then.
"I'd rather take Lily home," of course this motherfucker would, but it's not gonna happen. Sorry, mate.
"It doesn't make sense, does it, though?" I reply, making sure to use my teacher voice as if I were talking to a child, "I mean, the tube is almost closing, too. Lil, what do you think?"
I don't miss the side-eye she shoots me, not pleased about having been brought into this argument, "well... uhm..."
Exactly what I wanted. I grin, and I start clapping my hands as if I was cheering the national football team during the final of the World Cup, "it's settled then; I'll go home with Lily, and you guys can take the tube to yours." I quickly pick up my items off the table and nonchalantly drop my arm on Tiffany's shoulders before getting out of the restaurant. I can see my date's face has gone dark, and I am sure she isn't happy with the arrangements because let's be fair, they are not ideal for her, but my mind has completely erased anybody else but the tiny blonde hair, blue-eyed girl trailing behind me.
When we arrive at the station, Tiffany throws her arms around my neck, whining. "Why can't he take her home, and you come to mine? I have a little number that I am sure you would love..." These were the kind of things that would have made me excited just last month, but that I barely register now, too distracted by the deep conversations Lily and Sam are having. What if he decides to come anyways? What if they're setting up another date? What if he is suggesting that she stays over at his? The wheels in my head whirring out of control. The moment I see his arms weaving around her waist, pulling her closer to his body, I know I have to whisk her away.
"I'll text you," I shout in Tiffany's direction before clutching Lily's wrist, yanking her towards the barriers to get her inside the station. She doesn't protest, and she actually tries to keep up with me; I am stunned, though, because she fights me on everything, and I have started to feel like I am sitting duck and she is the fucking atomic bomb. "We're gonna miss our train," I state, very matter-of-factly, trying to diffuse the magnitude of the disaster. I spot an empty carriage, and head to the seats closest to the exit with her dropping her body on the empty space next to me. When I am sure Sam cannot reach us anymore, a mischievous, and somewhat pleased, smile appears on my face.
"I thought we were giving each other space," she doesn't look at me, keeping her gaze onto the grey wall of the underground tunnels.
"I gave you the whole morning," I shrugs, pulling my bottom lip with his teeth to hide a smile. She tries with all her might to hold back a smile, but her lips still curl up.
"You're an asshole," for some weird reason, I feel my heart swell and skip a bit at her words. I am her asshole, that's for sure.
Lily leans on me, but I grab her tiny body and bring her on me before kissing her forehead.
"I know."
A comfortable silence has enveloped our carriage; I keep my hand on her thigh while she hides her face in the crook of my neck, and it feels like the most natural of things. Just me and her, lost in each other. When the train comes to a stop at our station, I slide my hand into hers, lacing our fingers as I guide her out. This bubble that has sucked us in doesn't burst, and we continue walking side by side in silence enjoying each other's warm touch. I glance at her now and then, worried she may get upset, but her face is relaxed, and she seems content. I would love to know what is going through her head right now; I would actually pay millions to find out. Our house comes into view as we turn around the corner, and I would love to just ignore it and keep walking, but I am sure she would get suspicious, even more than she already is and all I can think about is how she broke down not long ago. We climb the stairs to our flat still hand in hand, and she is not rushing, or running, or trying to get away from me so I guess this is a good sign.
"After you, miss," I say after opening the door with my free hand.
She chuckles, "what a gentleman."
"Thank you," I reply, nodding knowingly.
Never leaving her hand, I lock the door and lead her to her bedroom.
"What are you doing, Jay?"
"I am taking my date home, and since we live together, I have to escort you to your bedroom."
I can see the thoughts spinning out of control in her head as she ponders my words.
"I thought I was on a date with somebody else,"
In reply, I shrug, "I think we have just changed that."
Surprisingly, she just nods her head. Unfortunately, it only takes a few seconds to get to her bedroom door. Lily doesn't let go of my hand, rocking back and forth on her heels, not meeting my eyes. I grab her other hand, turning her body to me before reaching under her chin, forcing her to meet my gaze. A nervous giggle escapes her lips.
"I think this is my stop."
I shake my head yes, breaking a smile. I cup her cheek with my hand, stroking the soft skin so lightly because I am still worried she may shutter, but she shocks me for the thousandth time tonight when she leans in my touch.
"Good night, Lily-bear,"
She looks up at me with those big, innocent, blue eyes that will be the death of me, "good nigh Jay-bug."
Hearing what she used to call me when we were kids ignites an ember in my chest, where I suppose my heart is, and the heat quickly spreads throughout. This is such a foreign feeling that I am almost freaked out, but everything is new with Lily; I will learn all this shit about love if that means I have even the tiniest chance of being with her. When I look at her again, I don't know if I am hallucinating or if it's reality, but I spot something in her eyes, a fleeting, burning flame.
Does she want me like I want her?
For once, I choose not to waste time thinking, and I bite the bullet. I lean down to her, grabbing her delicate skin with my hands that cover most of her face, and I crush my lips onto hers. I am sure both of us can feel the electricity surge generated by the simple contact, and we silently agree to just enjoy our lips brushing against one another. Pulling away is tough because I want her, I want to be with her, I know it now, but I also don't want to scare or overwhelm her. I want Lily to have space to think and decompress, and I want her to make a decision that is right for her and nobody else, myself included. As I am walking away, she clears her throat.
"Jay?" she calls, "what are the chances we went to the same restaurant, at the same time, on the same day."
I turn my body to face her, flashing her a mischievous look as my tongue peeks out before I pull my bottom lip with my teeth, "what are the chances."
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Hello!
Here is your mid-week update :) What do you think will happen next?
Love, Izzy.