WARNING:
Disturbing scenes, descriptions of sexual assault and violence.
I am dying from internal bleeding.
I don't even have the energy to joke anymore. I can't move, I can't speak, I can't swallow food or water, it hurts to even breathe.
I am in pain everywhere. My injuries are not only external, I feel it. If I don't go to a hospital soon, I will be dead.
I can't even panic about it, I feel that weak. Drained from energy in every aspect. Thinking feels like too much work right now, therefore panicking is out of the picture too.
I am in the same fetal position Sebastian left me an hour ago. I am bleeding out and spit blood with every chance.
I really don't want to die.
Tears keep running down my face and get mixed with the dried blood. They end up all over my lips and the taste makes me gag.
If I die today, it means that I haven't even nearly accomplished everything I wished for. And the worst of it all, I won't see my family and my friends again.
I won't see Chase again. That's what pains me more than any broken rib or infected wound right now. We didn't have much time, this can't be all the time we got. If this is how our story ends, then life really is too fucking unfair. I have shed so many tears that a small pool has been created on the dirty mattress underneath my head.
Dying also means that I won't be hurting anymore. Neither I will be afraid, making jokes was my way to cope and stand my ground in order to trick them into believing that they can't terrify me. Of course they can, they did. But, I would like to believe that I played my role well and didn't let them see under the surface. That under my snarky remarks and terrible jokes, I am a scared kid. Especially of Delgado, that man is the devil in human's reincarnation.
I guess it doesn't really matter anymore. They already got what they wanted, they beat me until I heard bones snapping at some point, until I was screaming, until I fainted from the too much pain.
At least, the worst days here belong to the past. They can't do anything worse to me. One way or another, I will get out of this hellhole soon.
The spiral in my head dies down as the metal door bursts open and Carlos comes into view and a weird wave of uneasiness washes over me. I have never been afraid of Carlos, the way my body just reacted, confuses me.
He doesn't talk. The usual scowl is absent from his disturbing face, replaced by a blank expression, yet a crazed look in his eyes. He hasn't noticed my face yet, so I pretend I am asleep.
His slow steps come to halt once he towers over me, the tips of his shoes nearly touch the side of the mattress. I haven't open my eyes yet, but I can hear him. I am praying that he believes I am asleep and leave me alone. I can't survive another round. Because I will die. It is as simple as that.
"Open your eyes, little one. I know you are not asleep." He nudges my side with his foot. I bite the inside of my cheek so hard in order to not leave a sound.
He called me little one. Nobody has called me that since I was brought here which means that he was the one who was sending me those disgusting messages.
I am not surprised.
"Open your eyes." He repeats. I remain still.
"Fine." I hear him saying before he kicks me in the stomach and a loud grunt that I failed to suppress escapes my mouth. Fuck.
So, I open my eyes, slowly lifting my gaze to meet his. I remain silent, waiting for him to talk "I am not satisfied yet." He begins, his lips slowly curl into a twisted sick smile.
"If I die-" I pause to take a breath, plus my throat is still so dry "Delgado won't get any money. Therefore, you will be killed because it will be your fault."
"I don't want to kill you. I have something else in mind." He looks down at me with that crazed look and smile from before.
If there's any remaining blood in my body, drains.
No, no, not again. No.
He sits down on haunches, very close for my liking, and he grips my jaw abruptly. I hiss in pain, he squeezes harder "You're going to be useful for once." He grins, bringing my face closer to his.
"Get away from me." My heart is beating so fast that I might die from cardiac arrest after all.
He chuckles, putting more pressure.
"If you scream, I will carve your pretty face until you become unrecognisable." He lets go of me harshly and my head falls back on the mattress again.
"Go away!" I am physically unable to push him away when he gets on top me. So, I ignore his words and I scream at the top of my lungs as he spreads my legs and sets himself between them.
If I scream loud enough, maybe Seb will hear me.
"Shut the fuck up." He grits out, placing his palm over my mouth to muffle my screams. I don't care about the pain anymore, I need him to get the fuck off of me as soon as possible. When I lift my arms to push him, he pins them above my head, so I bite his palm until I rip a piece off his flesh. "You fucking bitch!" He cries out, taking his hand away and I find the opportunity to scream again.
"I said shut the fuck up." His hand wraps around my throat and he starts squeezing progressively harder.
I am reliving the night of Logan's birthday.
Suddenly, Jake is on top of me again. Trying to strangle me in an attempt to cover my loud pleads for help.
I am sixteen again,
unable to fight back again,
unable to protect myself again.
My worst nightmare turns into reality for a second time and I am not strong enough to stop it.
I choke out, my screams turn into coughing, tears flood my vision and my last ounce of resilience dies down.
I might as well die with it.
"Remember that you did this to yourself, you fucking cunt. At least, you are a fine piece of ass and I will enjoy it." He lets go of my neck for a moment to undo the zip of his pants "Let go! Help!" I scream until there is no air in my lungs left "Sebas-" He slaps my face before he covers my mouth with his palm in such way that I can't even open it to bite him again.
"I told you once, Miller shouldn't be the one fucking you." He grins like a mad person, referring to those messages he sent me a while back.
With his one hand holding my wrists and the other over my mouth, he fails to spread my legs enough and lift my dress, and with the way I keep moving and fighting against him, even if it's not nearly enough, he ends up letting go of my arms.
In one quick move, he rips the the upper front of my dress, revealing my white lace bra. I tried to stop him, but I failed.
"I always wanted to bury my face in these tits, almost as much as I want to see the life draining from your eyes." And his lips latch on in between my breasts.
I place my hands on his chest, trying to push him away, that's why he removes his palm from my mouth "Get off of me!" I scream "You are fucking sick!" I hit him repeatedly, trying to push him away enough to escape from underneath him.
He is stronger than me, so his hands wrap around my wrists, pinning them down on my sides. I keep screaming and fighting against him, and he presses his knee between my legs, right against my underwear "Shut up!" He grits out again before he starts biting all over my cleavage, at least my bra is still in place.
"Let go! Please! Get off of me!" I yell and plead between my choked sobs "Don't do this to me, please!"
He lets go of my one wrist and his hand travels down my body and ends up under my dress. I reach down to stop him before he can move my underwear to the side.
And that's when I feel it. My hand accidentally grazes his back pocket and there's a metal object there. I don't think of it, I grab it and pull it out.
It's a pocket knife. I can't see it clearly down there, but it isn't hard to guess. By the time he realizes it, I have already opened it.
He grabs my wrist right on time, but in order to do so, he slightly lifted his body from mine distracted , giving me enough amount of space to slip my arm between us, manoeuvre it and elbow him on the throat. I catch him off guard, he loosens his grip on my wrist and I drive the knife to his side, stabbing him without wasting more time.
He tries to muffle down his own scream as he falls flat on top of me, making me gasp in pain. I had forgotten about my injuries. Either way, I retract the knife to cause him more damage and I use all my strength to push him aside, on the wall side of the mattress and get away from him. Crawling, because standing up is too much work.
Yet, my ankle is still cuffed and chained to the wall that's why I don't get far before he grabs the chain, stopping me. He grabs and my other ankle, dragging me back to him. I have nothing to hold onto, so it's not hard for him to succeed.
He flips me to my back again, and he does it so hard that I slam against the floor and I end up coughing blood. So, I spit it on his face.
He wipes the blood off his face angrily "You are fucking dead." I can't miss the way he grunts in pain, though, still holding his side.
"Me?" I grab the knife that I hid behind my back and the floor "When I still have the knife?" And I stab his bicep. I was aiming for his other side, where his ribs are, but he managed to grab my hand and prevent me.
I toss the knife far away before he takes hold of it and slice my throat because from the look in his eyes, I can tell that his survival instincts have kicked in and money be damned. He will kill me on the spot.
"That's it." He grits and pinches me right on one bleeding wound on my rib, one that I gained last night. I scream so fucking loudly. Stabbing me would have hurt less.
I scream and cry and fight him as he manages to rip my dress even more, until right above my belly button and then he lifts the ends of it, exposing my matching white lace underwear. I vainly attempt to push him off of me "Let go! Stop this! Please! Heeeeelp!"
I hit his chest with my fists repeatedly and I try to kick him or knee him but he has my thighs in a deathly grip.
He tries to pull his pants down when I lift my head and headbutt his face, earning a couple seconds until he recovers from it.
I can't think of anything else to do and I don't know how much more I can handle before I completely give out.
So, right now that I wrap my arms around his throat in order to choke him, is my probably my last attempt. He does the same to me much more successfully, and with his one hand only, so I let go of him. With his other hand, he is trying to move my underwear to the side. My ways of fighting back and my screams can't stop him.
But the metal door bursting open can.
It all happens so fast that the one moment he is on top of me, and the next one, he is a few feet away with someone else on top of him, beating the life out of him.
Miller.
Miller found me.
I am not hallucinating, he is here. He came for me.
Until I am able to get up and stand on my knees, he has already left him unconscious and tossed him to the side and he is coming for me.
"Miller." I choke out relieved between my sobs before he engulfs me in a hug and I collapse into his chest.
"It's over, angel. It's over." He kisses my forehead, hugging me like he is afraid I will disappear if he lets go "I am sorry for everything." His voice cracks "I am so fucking sorry." I sob so hard into his chest as he leaves kisses on my temple. We are still on the floor, with me curled up in his arms.
I think I will explode from relief. Or from pain.
"I love you, I love you so much. I am sorry for everything, angel." I lift my head to face him and I see a few tears running down his face.
Miller is...crying?
I lift my hands to gently wipe his tears away "I love you too." I smile softly at him "Can you get us out of here?"
He nods his head before he shoots the chain breaking it, he helps me wear his jacket and zips it up, and then, he scoops me up bridal style, careful to not hurt me and he starts walking towards the door.
We are about to leave the room when his gun comes into view and fires a bullet in Carlos' stomach who is still laying unconscious on the floor and then he simply tucks it in his pants again. I look at him startled with widened eyes "He had it coming." Is all he says unfazed, walking out of the room with me still in his arms.
"But he will-"
"If someone finds him, he might survive." He shrugs, completely untouched.
He probably did the right thing. I shouldn't feel bad, he deserved it. He abused me repeatedly and tried to rape me.
We are already on the first floor and he walks down the corridors, probably heading us to the main area of this house/warehouse. All I can see on the floor is unconscious bodies, probably dead even "Who did this?" I ask horrified.
"The Italians. Things got messy."
"Messy? If all these people are dead, things didn't get just messy." I know that I kept telling them that they will find me and kill them all but I didn't actually mean it.
"They probably are, angel."
"This is a fucking massacre." I look around us, already feeling nauseous "I never wanted deaths on me."
"They didn't kill them only for you, they would take out his cartel either way. And good for them, it's not only drugs and smuggling, they have done horrifying things to so many innocent people. We just gave them a reason to do it sooner." When he puts it like that, he is absolutely right.
I probably got a nice treatment compared to what they do to other people who got involved with them.
We reach the main area when I face more dead bodies, two Italian men, two other men I recognize from Chase's security team, Liam and my father.
"Audrey!" My father runs to our direction, I tell Chase to put me down and I land on my feet after a long time "What have they done to you?" He asks horrified, holding back tears.
"It seems worse than it is." I reassure him, lying, and I wrap my arms around him. We hug each other for over minute, both crying the whole time, until we hear someone clearing his throat and he pulls away.
Two men are standing behind my father, so he gets out of the way and goes to stand next to Liam.
The older one must be around Liam's age, maybe even a little older. Tall with a muscular figure. Handsome face, dark hair, honey brown eyes and tan skin. He must be the Italian, highly positioned in the mafia, friend of Liam.
He offers me a polite smile before he extends his hand for a handshake. I look at my palm that's full of cuts and dried blood hesitantly "Don't worry." He reassures me, shaking my hand "Enzo Calvetti. We are glad you are okay. Wishing you a speedy recovery." He nods before stepping back. I thank him, smiling.
So, that means that the younger man next to him, the same one who oozes power, intimidation and I am afraid to look in the eye, is the nephew and leader of the Italian mafia.
I slowly lift my gaze, facing him. Oh- Oh, indeed-
He is so devastatingly beautiful.
I don't care if this the wrong term to describe a mob boss. I really don't, because wow. My mafia books weren't lying. Damn. Damn.
Yes, the way he stands screams confidence and power, his presence is murderous and he looks like he is always on high alert for any potential threat, he is terrifyingly intimidating and his piercing soulless grey eyes could probably freeze hell, but I can't move on from his beauty.
He looks only a couple years older than me. He is probably around the same height as Miller, with a body in perfect shape and probably sculpted as a statue beneath his all black suit. Black hair, grey eyes, chiselled jaw, straight nose, perfect lips and skin a tone lighter than his uncle's, but still tan. He is even wearing a slutty silver chain like Miller.
We shake hands while he is just looking at me with saying anything. His jaw momentarily tenses the slightest amount, something that if I had blinked, I would had missed. "Nico Calvetti. As my uncle said, I hope you recover from your injuries soon, Audrey." I bet he hated every word that got out of his mouth that's why he tensed. He definitely hates talking.
But the way he said my name with that heavy Italian accent had no reason to sound so hot.
I need to get it together.
I nod my head politely "Nice to meet you. And thank you. For everything."
He nods his head the same way, letting go of my hand and he walks away, going to stand next to his uncle.
His mannerisms are so defined and mechanical. Like someone has programmed him. He looks like a robot, a very beautiful robot, who can murder you in the blink of an eye. I wasn't wrong when I said that his eyes are soulless.
I guess that's what it takes to be the Don of a Mafia.
It should be concerning that I created his whole psychological profile in my mind when I have known him for approximately two minutes.
"Cazzo!" An Italian guy earns everyone's attention "We missed one of his men and he helped Delgado escape! Dylan guy just saw it in the cameras."
Dylan is here?!
"He is right Alessio just confirmed it." The other Italian guy whose hand is on his earpiece says next "The guy is now dead, but Delgado got away."
Why can't I catch a break?
Enzo and Nico immediately start spitting orders in Italian and the two men disappear in the hallways.
"Miller, what's happening?" I ask him terrified.
"They haven't touched Delgado yet, they tied him up and have him locked in a room upstairs." He explains to me.
"He won't die easily like the rest ones." Enzo adds.
"Wait- You killed Sebastian?!" My eyes widen.
"Him, Antonio and Marco are not here." Miller answers me "Why do you care?"
"He can't die." I shake my head "He helped me. He helped me a lot. Please, don't kill him." I probably sound crazy or just pathetic for wanting one of my kidnappers to get away with what he did, but I don't care.
I don't want Seb to die.
"That's not your call." Nico's sharp tone shuts me up.
I now know better than going against criminals with every chance. Look at me, this experience has already made me a more mature person.
"Please, don't let him kill him." I whisper at Miller. Just because I won't tell the hot gangster off, it doesn't mean that I will let Seb get killed.
He doesn't have time to answer because Enzo and Nico order Miller to get me, Liam and my father out of here and leave the rest on them. I also just heard that Lucas and Dylan are here, hacking the cameras and the security system. At least, they are doing their thing from the safety of a bulletproof car.
But my brother is also in here. He is waiting for us outside.
From what I heard, they brought a damn army with them. I am glad, though.
"Where the fuck did he go? We can't find him anywhere!" Two other men appear out of nowhere.
"And he has already shot half of the cameras and they can't locate him." The other one says.
"Make sure they will get on the cars safely." Enzo orders them before he turns to us "We have more men outside, don't worry."
I hear gunshots from somewhere, and I quickly realize that's coming from outside.
I don't have time to panic before the entrance door opens and I see Delgado getting in, dragging Logan along with him while he has a gun pressed on my brother's temple.
I don't know if it's my face or my father's that turned white as a ghost first "No!" I couldn't suppress my sob.
All the guns in here are immediately pointed at Delgado "Well, that's a reunion." He looks around with a crazed look and a similar smile.
"Drop the gun, it's over." Enzo speaks first.
Delgado ignores him "No. But I am gonna go now, and I am gonna take him with me. If you follow me," He presses the gun harder against Logan's temple, who by the way doesn't look like he is scared at all, "he dies." He smiles at me specifically.
The next moment, Marco and Seb get inside since the door was wide open "What the fuck has hap- Oh-" Seb raises his hands in surrender when some guns point at his direction.
Marco who is obviously dumber decides to take out his gun and point it at me "Drop the gun." Nico states calmly.
"No." Marco grips it tighter.
Nico plants a bullet in his head. He drops dead. What? Oh my God. That was traumatising, I am not gonna lie. My pupils are dilated. Yes, they are, yes, I feel them. Damn. I blink. My eyes got dried. The were also really widened, like those cartoons. At least green is a nice colour. Yes, my eyes have a nice colour. Like swamps, oh, how I love swamps. Wait-swamps? What?
"Are you okay?" Miller is shaking my shoulders.
I blink again, coming back to reality "What? Yes."
"Because you are freaking out in silence. You screamed without making any noise, angel." He looks at me concerned "There." He lifts my chin up, closing my mouth.
I was too focused on guessing how dilated my pupils were that I forgot the mouth. Oops-
"Was this really fucking necessary? You traumatised her." Miller just raised his voice at the Italian devil. Oh my God, he is going to kill Miller too. Oh my God, my pupils must be dilated again.
Nico just blinks bored.
I exhale relieved, he didn't kill my baby.
Oh my brother is still held at gunpoint. Are my swamp coloured eyes dil-
"Don't. Move." Enzo grits as Delgado starts taking steps back, taking Logan with him.
"Drop the gun, it's over." Sebastian tells him, even he knows.
Delgado chuckles as he keeps walking backwards, holding my brother in front of him as a human shield. As he passes right by Sebastian, he extends his foot on purpose and Delgado trips over it, loses his balance and my brother, who I didn't know that he possessed such skills, easily disarms him and now Logan is the one who points the gun at his head. Just when I finally got over the previous shock, here comes another one.
"What the fuck?" Delgado looks taken aback, his eyes glued to Sebastian's face.
"I just betrayed your ass because I really fucking hate your guts for all the shit you have put me through. And maybe they will let me live enough in order to take part in your tortures later."
Plot twist!
"Of course, Seb!" I answer first and Nico Calvetti turns to look at me, furrowing his eyebrows the tiniest amount possible. It must be the equivalent to what the fuck? for the robotic beauty.
Oh- he is sassy.
Not the time.
"I will pass. I prefer to die on the spot." Delgado chuckle unamused. Everything he does is creepy.
"You don't get to choose." Enzo looks amused and infuriated at the same.
He appears another gun from somewhere in his suit jacket pointing it at Seb "There is nothing I hate more than traidores."
I quickly close my eyes, refusing to see Seb dying. The bullet fires, I flinch, someone muffles a pained scream, but Nico's next words take me by more surprise "I decide when he dies, not you."
I open my eyes, seeing Seb standing and Delgado's shoulder covered in blood. Oh.
Delgado recovers quickly and a sick smile spreads across his face. He tsks, "See, you should have killed me by now. Because what I might hate even more than traitors," his gaze lands on Miller "is you."
"And that's what you deserve." It all happens so fast, his grin grows wider, he raises his gun, he aims for my chest and fires the bullet.
I still, my eyes widen and I am prepared to feel the burning pain.
But it never comes. Miller jumps in front of the bullet, shielding me with his body, and next thing I know my own ear splitting screams make me realize that he drops injured on the floor.
I shut down everything and everyone and I drop on my knees before him "Chase! Baby, look at me!" I cup his face as I am violently sobbing. But when I notice that he got shot in the stomach, all the blood drains from my body.
I choke back another sob "Hey-" He looks at me through heavy eyelids, squeezing my hand.
"Hold on for me baby, please." I brush some strands of hair from his forehead "Please, sunshine, don't leave me. Keep your eyes open, baby." I stroke his face with my fingers "Why would you do that?"
"It's okay," He squeezes my hand again "your life worths much more than mine, angel." He half smiles, his words come out weak and pained. He struggles to breathe properly.
"Don't fucking say that!" I choke out.
"You- you know I w-would anything for you, right?"
"I know, I know." I stroke his cheeks "You don't have to say it, don't waste your energy. I just want you to keep your eyes open. Can you do that for me?" I smile at him through my tears "Help is on the way."
I turn my head to everyone else's direction "You have better called for fucking help!" I scream at them, not bothering to check their reaction. I hear that they did and I look at Miller again.
He shuts his eyes for a second "No, no, no, keep them open, Chase."
"It's-it's okay." He can't keep his eyes open for more than a couple seconds "If I-if I-Promise you won't forget us, angel."
"I won't, because you aren't going anywhere, Miller." I take a glimpse of his wound and it looks bad, really fucking bad. He has lost so much blood "You. Aren't. Going. Anywhere. We didn't have enough time, you can't just leave me yet." I am still fully crying.
"I know. But-" He is really pale. I shush him because he makes it worse by talking, he needs to keep his strength.
"I am sorry for not being able to protect you as I promised." I wipe a tear that run down his face. "And I am so sorry for not being a better person, you were always way to good for me." He weakly squeezes my hand three times.
I sniffle, wiping the tears that are blurring my vision "You have nothing to be sorry for."
"I love you, angel." He smiles before his eyes slowly shut.
"I love you too su- no, no, no, no- Don't close your eyes, keep them open, baby, don't fall asleep." I shake his shoulders gently but his eyes don't open again.
"Nooooo!" I scream and cry until my brother is sitting down next to me, pulling me in his arms.
"He doesn't wake up!" I choke out, lifting my head, to face everyone else.
"Help is on the way." I hear my brother saying. My father and Enzo are talking to me, trying to calm me down, I think I hear Liam crying somewhere, everything is a blur, because I am too focused looking at one person only, the only one responsible.
The man I love is bleeding in my arms unconscious because he took a fucking bullet that was meant for me, all because of the person that's standing a few feet away, grinning at me.
I don't care that he is still alive because they want to torture him later, even though he already has two bullet wounds, someone must shot and his other shoulder after he shot Miller.
So I don't think as I let go of my brother, I don't think as I reach for Miller's gun, I don't think as I click the safety off, I don't think as I hear people calling my name, I don't think as I point it at him, nor do I think as I pull the trigger. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. I let my anger define my actions. Two legs, two arms and stomach.
I drop the gun. They are right, he won't die that easily. I hear his body drop on the floor, I hear them yelling at me, but I ignore everyone. He isn't dead yet, they should be thankful.
I turn to Miller again, burying my face in the crook of his neck "Please-" My sobs make me pause "don't leave me, baby." I cup his face, kissing him "I can't live in a world where you are not a part of."
If Miller won't make it, a part of my soul will die with him.
Or just all.
.
.
.
.
//
Ahhh, heavy chapter in every aspect.💔
You probably don't like me very much right now.
Damn, toughen up, you guys!
!I ORDER YOU TO READ THIS!
Sooooo, what Tay Tay album do you think each character is?🤭
Here is what I think, Audrey is definitely 1989 and Dylan is most definitely Lover. I think that Grace is Folklore and Lucas is Evermore. Olivia is mostly Reputation and maybe a bit of Midnights. Chase gives me Red vibes but sometimes a bit of Midnights or Speak now. And Nate is definitely Fearless lmao. 💅
I love you all, I have missed you.❤️
And over 200k???!! Not even in my wildest dreams I saw this coming. Thank you so so so much for giving my book a chance, forever grateful.🫶
P.S. next update won't take that long, see you soon.😘