This bonus chapter is dedicated to Morgy, with thanks for supporting me on Patreon this morning. Thank you!
When I woke up it took a few minutes for all the memories to come rushing back. I stretched and snuggled my toys, and let my mind drift without really thinking about anything for a couple of minutes. But it didn't take long for me to realise that my crib was in the lounge today, and to remember that all my little friends were coming to visit.
I sat up, excited to see what we were going to play today. And then suddenly remembered what Monique had tried to do to Sarah. It was hard to believe that she would be so cruel when she barely even knew Scott and Sarah. She'd put the sleeping drops in everyone's hot chocolate except her own, presumably hoping to knock out Scott and Sarah before Mum came home. And once those thoughts flooded my mind, I couldn't look forward to having fun anymore. I just didn't know what we were going to do. I thought I'd done the right thing so far; warning them about the drinks as soon as I could talk to them without Monique present. I'd had to keep on drinking my own chocolate, to avoid it being too obvious that we knew something was wrong, but I could sip it slowly until Mummy got home. And I thought now that if I hadn't, I wouldn't have been able to sleep at all. It was hard to believe just how strange everything felt this morning. I was sure I'd absorbed lots of the drugs, but my brain didn't feel as fuzzy as it should, and I didn't want to deal with so many thoughts right now.
I stretched, and found that the bars on my crib were latched up so that I couldn't easily disengage them. Well, that was only natural; Sarah probably hadn't known if I was going to wake up with a full baby brain. I could probably have stood well enough to release the catches, but I didn't want to be awake now. Instead I lay back, kicked my legs in the air, and hugged all of my toys as close as I could until the door opened.
"Hello, baby girl." It was Scott's voice this morning, and I peeked out from behind my mini mountain of plush to give him a cheerful wave.
"How are you feeling today?" he asked. "I got a good night's sleep, all considered. I guess a few sips of whatever she was giving us was enough to dispel the worries awhile. How about you? Head still clear today?"
"Yeah," I mumbled, and then pouted theatrically. "Slept well enough. But not feeling very baby." And then I hesitated, not quite sure what to say. How much did Scott actually know?
"It's okay," he said. "Sarah told me... some of the stuff. Last night, after you were in bed. About that stuff Monique tried to dose her with, and what it's supposed to do. I guess she managed it the last time she brought her kids to stay. And I have to thank you for looking out for your big sister. All the times I've worried about you, making sure you're okay, I guess... I never expected you would be able to protect us as well. Thanks."
"Yeah. And I'm sorry about... like... making you look after me. I mean, I could..."
"You could have looked after yourself?" he said. "Like you used to last year, doing the chores whenever Sarah had a lazy day. Yeah, you could. But you shouldn't have to. And... well, I've always wanted to have kids, and I probably won't be able to in the future. So looking after a little baby, well, it's not something you have to feel guilty for. It makes my day when I see you so happy and carefree, and now I know it's something you can escape when you're ready, I don't have to feel bad for you. So any time you want to be the baby, I'm happy to be here for you."
"Thank you," I said, and I found I could smile again. That was one of the things I had really been worrying about. But it wasn't the big one. "What about Monique?"
"She's in the spare crib," Mummy said, and my eyes lit up when I saw her enter the room. I'd missed her last night, and I was glad that she didn't seem too upset. "You were right, of course. She didn't want to talk to me, so I decided to find out more about that stuff she was carrying by trying it on her. Give her a taste of her own medicine. Literally."
"You could get in trouble?" I said.
"Yeah, I could. But I don't think so. I only did this stuff because my little one asked me to. Right? So if she thinks she can go to the police, she'd have to admit everything she was doing to her girls, and that she tried to drug you three last night. I'm pretty sure that stuff is a controlled substance, not like the diapers, so she can't go to anyone without landing herself in very serious trouble. She'll keep quiet."
"So what are you going to do?"
"We're going to have Alanis and Jinniver for a couple of days. See if they can grow up enough to tell us if they agreed to this like she claimed. And see how she likes being the baby."
I nodded. It seemed like the only fair way to do things. I didn't actually know what the situation had been with Monique's girls, but now I was thinking about them while my thoughts were less clouded, it was hard to imagine they could have deserved this life. Alanis was on the edge of being an adult now, but she'd been in full baby brain every time I met her. I wasn't sure if I'd been assuming she enjoyed the experience; or if my own thoughts had been muddled enough that I just thought of her as a baby and didn't make the connection that it was strange for her to act so young.
"I hope they're okay," I said, with a mumble. "I mean, on that website... they say it's like a way to make a kid reevaluate their priorities. So if they're screwing their life up, they get a second chance at being dependent on Mummy so they might learn some of the stuff they missed. Maybe there's some that will work for, like Lyra. She was just acting out because she needed the attention, but she was rebelling so much that she wouldn't have accepted help now, so maybe that's a good thing. But I only looked briefly, and I saw people talking about punishing their kids for like... watching inappropriate books, or being too interested in fashion, and stuff like that. I can only hope those ones are like... exaggerated?"
"I think most of them aren't real," Scott said. "I read a few. After Sarah showed me what she and Madison had been looking at. They're straight up fantasy material, some of the things they talk about. I guess that's why it took Madison so long to realise that there's some truth in it. Some of them I can't believe at all. Like, there's this one lady on the forum who gives so much advice, but she's been talking about her baby for like six years now, and I know it's not safe to use those drugs for that long."
"Momma Cody?" Mummy guessed the name right away, and when she saw a half nod from Scott she continued: "Yeah. She's one of the real experts, I think everybody's seen her posts. I like her because she focus so much on the safety aspects, and even in a weird forum like that, she's not shy to ban people if they won't listen to her about basic safety. But I noticed she's been posting for quite a while. And never mentions a husband. I think maybe it's wish fulfilment; married to a career in science, she wants to imagine she's got a little girl, and she pretends online. Just made this forum because she has some kind of emotional need for validation, somewhere her imaginary daughter can keep on being a toddler without anybody pointing out that it's been years. Most of the others are the same I think, it's not real."
"No, it's real," Scott said, giving a little laugh. "She's shared pictures of her and her little one. But they're not really mother and daughter, I was sure of that as soon as I found them. I mean, if the different skin colour doesn't convince you they're unrelated, you'd have to think about baby being older than Momma. I think it's like a roleplay thing for them... the little one is like Alice, wanted to be treated like a kid. But she's too old to have her real mum doing this for her, so she got her girlfriend to take on that role. I think if you read between the lines, that's a common thing on there. Doing this with real kids is just... this shared fantasy that all the people on the forum play into."
"Well, most of them," Mummy said, and had the decency to look embarrassed. "Look, I hope you don't hate me for trying to baby Sarah. All the things I thought she was into... I would have done anything to stop that, because I knew she was going to get hurt in the long run. I just should have had the courage to ask her about it first. I'm sorry."
"Let me guess," Scott laughed. "Langtree told you we were having sex in the janitor's closet at school. She said she'd go to you and say how worried she was, trying to get me to do her geography homework."
"In the janitor's..." Mummy's eyes were wide now, hearing something even more outrageous than she'd expected. But with the casual way Scott had said it, I thought I might remember Bella's attitude a little better than Mummy did.
"Mummy?" I said, "Remember when Bella and Sarah were friends? You never liked her, did you? If she found out somebody else's secret she'd tell everybody right away."
"Oh... yeah, yeah. With that girl, blackmail means she made it up. Can't resist the urge to cause trouble for others, so if it were true she'd have told me without even confronting you. So... No, I didn't hear it from her, but I guess I jumped to the same conclusion. But I do still worry about you, you know?"
"It's not like we're doing anything..." Scott started, and then glanced away. "You can say we're not old enough for stuff like that, and maybe you're right. But I promise that I'll never do anything to hurt Sarah, no matter what happens. She's my best friend first, the only one I can really trust. My first real girlfriend I guess... I mean, I did date briefly at my old school, but... Look, I can't promise we'll be good like little kids, but we're at least smart enough to be careful. If that's really a problem for you, can we talk about it like adults instead of trying to humiliate her?"
"I know," Mummy said, and smiled briefly. "I can't say I approve, but I can remember being your age. And I think you might both be mature enough to make your own choices, so long as this isn't causing problems with your other responsibilities. And I promise, I would never do these things to her again. I'm just trying to get it clear in my own mind. Some people on the Mothers' Hub are using it to get rebellious kids under control. Some of them justified, some not. Most of them, I think, are fantasists. And some are just playing the role with an adult baby, like you say. We can't judge them all, and I don't want to rock the boat. So I think we need to make it clear to Monique that she's crossed a line. I'll send a message to Momma Cody as well, see if the board has any suggestions how to deal with a rogue mom like that. But in the circumstances, after what she tried to do to my little girl, I don't think I trust her to make the decisions for her own kids either. I would never forgive myself if I just let her go like this."
"I agree," I said. "It'll be a bit crazy trying to sort it out, but I'm sure we can do this."
"Do you want to?" Scott asked, putting a hand on my arm in a way that was way more reassuring than I would have expected. "I can see how much it's stressing you out. Would you rather be the little one today, and let the grown-ups sort all this out?"
I thought about that for a long time. I really was starting to struggle with all these important discussions, and I was eager for a chance to escape. I knew I couldn't do it forever, but right now this was something that they really didn't need my help with. And like Mummy said, Scott and Sarah were both responsible enough to make adult decisions. And they didn't seem to get stressed at all by having big problems to deal with. Once Sarah came down, I agreed that they didn't really need my input, and that it would probably be better for me to take a break. I wouldn't need to think for a week or two, and by then everything would be decided.
It was the best compromise I could have hoped for.