Kathryn stayed at her parent's house for the whole evening. She ended up staying for dinner and it was just like she remembered from her childhood. She did not want to leave when she did but she knew she needed to talk to Benjamin before heading back to the Bridgerton house. She did not want Anthony to question her when she got home.
She knocked on the Price's house door and waited for a response. Lady Price opened the door and a smile spread across her face as soon as she saw Kathryn.
"Kathryn," she smiled, "It is so good to see you."
"It is good to see you as well Angela," Kathryn smiled.
"Come in, come in," Angela waved, "I heard that you got married. I was sad we didn't get to attend the wedding."
"It was just a small intimate ceremony. Only our immediate families were there," Kathryn said.
"Well congratulations nonetheless," Angela smiled, "I presume you are here for Benjamin. He said the other day that you might stop by."
"Yes. I am," Kathryn said.
"I will go fetch him or you," Angela said.
"Thank you," Kathryn replied.
Angela left and Kathryn let her eyes wander over the room. It looked exactly like she remembered. Not a thing had changed since she was a kid. Her eyes landed on the painting that sat above the fireplace. It was an old painting, one from when Benjamin was still a boy. How Kathryn wished she could go back, when you are young life is so much simpler.
The door opened and Kathryn turned to see Benjamin standing by it.
"I'm sorry," they both said at the same time.
"Why are you sorry?" Kathryn asked confused.
"I should not have just left like that the other night," Benjamin said.
"Nonsense. I completely understand why you left the way that you did," Kathryn said, "I should have been upfront and honest with you that I was married."
"Why did you not?" Benjamin asked.
"I--I do not know," Kathryn said, "I guess I just did not want that to stop us from being friends again. We used to be best of friends."
"I supposed I am at fault for us no longer being best friends," Benjamin admitted.
"I am at fault as well," Kathryn said.
"No. I am the one who stopped writing," Benjamin said, "I am the one who did not respond to your last letter."
"You were traveling, out there seeing the world. I could not fault you for not writing back," Kathryn said.
"Promise me that no matter what we will always continue to be friends," Benjamin said, grabbing ahold of Kathryn's hands, "I do not want to spend any more of my days without you in them."
Kathryn opened her mouth to say yes. She wanted to always be friends with Benjamin, he understood her like no one else did. But she could not promise that. Anthony did not want her to speak to him. He would be absolutely furious if he even knew that she was here. She looked into Benjamin's eyes and she could see the hope drain from them.
"Unless that is not what you want," Benjamin said dropping her hands and taking a step back.
"No, no that is what I want," Kathryn assured stepping closer to him, "It's just that the Viscount told me that I am never to see you again."
"What are you doing here then?" Benjamin asked.
"I could not just stop talking to you without giving you an explanation," Kathryn said, "I did not think that it was right. I could not do that to you."
Benjamin chuckled to himself about the girl's kindness.
"Why is so funny?" Kathryn asked.
"You are the most kind person I have ever met," Benjamin said turning to the girl, "You went against your husband's wishes to come talk to me all because you did not want to hurt my feelings."
"I--I guess I did," Kathryn said.
"You are the most selfless person that I know, Kathy" Benjamin said.
The girl smiled up at the boy. Though she did not exactly believe what he was saying she accepted the compliment.
"So what shall we do?" Benjamin asked.
"What do you mean?" Kathryn asked.
"Well I do not plan on stopping being friends with you just because Lord Bridgerton does not like me," Benjamin said.
"I do not know what we can do," Kathryn said, "He has basically forbidden me from seeing you. He would be absolutely furious if he found out I was here right now."
"Well then we will just have to make sure that he does not see us together," Benjamin said, "You can come here or I can meet you at your parent's house."
"I do not know about this Benjamin," Kathryn said.
"Come on Kathy," Benjamin said grabbing her hand again, "You do not throw away lifelong friendships for one person."
She really did not want to go against Anthony's wishes. No matter how ridiculous, he was still her husband. Kathryn's mother had always taught her that her husband should be one of the most important people in her life. You should always respect him and his opinions. That was of course when her mother assumed that she was marrying a man who loved her, who would do anything for her. But that was not the case for Kathryn Bishop, Kathryn Bridgerton now.
"All right," Kathryn agreed, "But I do not think that we will see each other often. And you cannot fault me if it goes awhile between visits."
"I could never fault you Kathy, I love you," Benjamin smiled.
It did not worry her that Benjamin had said that he loved her because she knew exactly what he meant. She had always had love for him, different kinds of love as they grew older. He was her longest friend, how could she not love him?
"I love you too, Benny," Kathryn said pulling him into a hug.
The two hugged for a moment before Kathryn pulled away, "I better get going. Anthony will be wondering where I am. I will see you soon though."
"I cannot wait," Benjamin smiled.
Kathryn gave him one last smile before she exited the Price house and made her way toward the Bridgerton house. It was now dark outside which meant that Kathryn had stayed at the Price household far longer than she had intended. As she walked up to the Bridgerton house she noted that there were no lights on so that meant that everyone would most likely be asleep. She hoped that Anthony would be the same. Kathryn crept into the house and up toward the bedroom. Maybe she would be lucky and Anthony would be in his study and had not even noticed she was gone.
She opened the bedroom door to see Anthony sitting on the edge of the bed. He stood up immediately turning to look at her.
"Where have you been?" Anthony asked.
"I was with my parents," Kathryn lied as she closed the door behind her.
"I sent a footman to your parent's house hours ago, you were not there," Anthony said.
"You are keeping track of me now?" Kathryn huffed.
"Seems I need to keep better track of you if you are going to hide things from me," Anthony said.
"I am not hiding anything from you," Kathryn said.
"Then where were you?" Anthony yelled.
Kathryn took a step back, putting some distance between her and Anthony.
"You were with him weren't you?" Anthony said.
She averted her eyes from his gaze knowing that she could not lie to his face.
"Damn it," Anthony said throwing the book that was in his hand across the room.
The book connected with a vase, a loud crashing noise made Kathryn jump as she squeezed her eyes closed.
"I thought I told you I did not want you to see him again," Anthony said turning back to his wife.
Kathryn kept quiet, not wanting to anger Anthony more.
"Answer me," Anthony yelled.
"You did," Kathryn spoke, "But I could not just ignore him. He needed an explanation as to why."
"He needed no explanation," Anthony said, "When I told you I no longer wanted you to see him I mean ever again."
"I could not just completely shut out my lifelong friend without an explanation first," Kathryn said.
"You could have because that is what I told you to do," Anthony said.
"I do not know why you even care. You do not love me!" Kathryn yelled. "You made that very clear, so please my Lord just let me have a little bit of happiness in my life."
Anthony went to open his mouth to reply but a knock at the door caught both of their attention.
"Who is it?" Anthony called out.
"It is Anne, my Lord," Anne said from the other side of the door.
Kathryn knew that Anne had probably heard the vase break and come to see if she was all right. She and Anthony had probably woken up the whole house with their fighting.
"We are all right, Anne, thank you," Anthony called out.
"Umm is Mrs. Bridgerton in there? I have an urgent message for her," Anne said.
Kathryn glanced at Anthony before walking toward the door and opening it.
"I am here Anne. What is it?" Kathryn asked.
"Are you all right Mrs?" Anne asked as she saw the red eyes and tears streaming down Kathryn's face.
"I am all right. What is the message?" Kathryn asked.
"Umm your father... he's
Kathryn did not hear anything else Anne said. She did not need to. Just the look on her ladymaid's face said it all. How could her father be dead? She had only just seen him a few hours ago and he looked completely happy and healthy.
She must have been screaming because now nearly every Bridgerton was in the room, Violet cradling her in a hug. Kathryn glanced at Anthony who was just standing there with no emotions on his face.
--
The weeks following Alexander's death were filled with prayers and sorrows. Kathryn had seen more people than she did for her own wedding. Alexander was a well-known and liked member of the ton. No one ever had anything bad to say about him. Kathryn was present for all of the festivities to celebrate Alexander's life but it was like she was not there. She remember seeing person after person but could not tell you who was actually there. Kathryn was emotionally numb to everything. She had not shed a tear since the night she found out he died, not even at the funeral.
The Bridgerton's had been wonderful during this time. They always made sure that she had someone by her side if she needed to talk, but in her case, it was mainly just silence. She appreciated their company though, they were really good people. Anthony was the exclusion from this. The two had not spoken since their fight. Not since he watched her fall apart right in front of him and he did not do anything to comfort her.
Kathryn maybe thought that Anthony not believing in love was just something he had been saying. That if the two really got to know one another he would fall in love with her. But when she looked into his eyes that night, as her whole world was crumbling around her, she saw nothing. No emotions behind his eyes. At that very moment Kathryn knew that he did not love her, nor would he ever love her. At that exact moment, Kathryn lost all hope for love. She lost hope for love in her marriage and she lost hope for ever loving anyone.
This was a loooooooong chapter. RIP Alexander Bishop...I think we all saw this coming, or at least I hope you did so that you weren't blindsided.
Thanks for reading! 😘
~A