Calista
Dante was walking out of the training facility as I was stomping towards the main entrance. In the past, when our paths had crossed on campus, we'd stop for a minute and exchange pleasantries. This time Dante held the door open wide as he welcomed me with a cautious greeting. He must have read the expression on my face and I wondered if I appeared as irritable as I felt. I was running on little answers and even less sleep.
I had tossed and turned the entire night. Questions about what I had witnessed plagued my mind. They circled around like turkey vultures, keeping me on edge and not allowing me to drift off to sleep. For my own sanity, I needed to confront Lincoln. Not only about why he was avoiding me, but about what I had seen the night before.
I marched into the training facility, pausing in the foyer long enough to seek out the man in question. As if it were second nature, my eyes automatically veered left. Lincoln was in the ring sparring with someone who I assumed was a trainer. Whitmore stood off to the side, arms dangling over the ropes as he observed. His brow furrowed in concentration as he tracked Lincoln's movements. I wondered if he was aware of what his protégé was doing in his spare time. I had a funny feeling he didn't. Something told me that the risk of having Lincoln out of commission would not be something he would gamble away.
Whitmore barked a command. Both men in the ring stopped. The three of them gathered in the centre for a brief exchange. Whitmore gave Lincoln a pat on the shoulder. His weathered hand lingered for a moment, flashing him a proud smile, before he followed the trainer out of the ring.
Lincoln was left alone, boxing with his own shadow as the afternoon sun filtered in through the window. I took that as my opportunity.
"Are you ready to explain what the hell is going on?" I asked, coming up next to the ring.
Lincoln froze. His eyes zoned in on the blank wall across from him. "I don't know what you're talking about."
The lie was so fluid. If the evidence wasn't plastered to the side of his face I might have believed him. Across his temple, travelling into his hairline, was the aftermath of yesterday's match. From where I stood I could see that it hadn't fully dried out. The skin around it was pink, irritated by Lincoln sweat, but at least it didn't require stitches.
"Why are you avoiding me?" I pushed, moving so he was forced to acknowledge me in his peripheral. "Why did I walk in on you fighting some other guy in an underground cage?"
"Keep your voice down," Lincoln warned, his eyes flicking over in the direction of Whitmore's office. The door was cracked open, light spilling out.
"Why?" I tilted my chin up in defiance. "Whitmore doesn't know you're part of some sort of underground fight club, does he?"
Lincoln's nostrils flared at me. "No one needs to know about my business."
"They do when it's illegal."
"It's not," he muttered as he paced over to the edge of the boxing ring. He was still avoiding eye contact, but at least he was responding to me. He slipped under the ropes, moving towards the corner where he had left his towel and water bottle.
I trailed after him. "No? Then why is the main entrance a storage closet?" I said. Another thought funnelled through my brain."Why are you involving yourself with people like that?"
Lincoln removed one of the gloves. The ripping of the velcro cut through the air. "You don't know what you're talking about."
"Then explain it to me. Make me understand."
"There's nothing to explain," he replied.
I was beginning to get desperate. It took everything in me not to beg. "Come on Lincoln. You owe me that much."
"I don't owe you shit."
Those five words were like a blow to the gut. I took an involuntary step back as if he had physically hurt me. "Do you really feel that way?"
He didn't respond. The second glove he was wearing slid off. He held it in his hands.
"Then can you at least tell me why you've been ignoring my calls? Did you change your mind about wanting to be exclusive?" I swallowed. A lump began to form in my throat. "If you did, that's okay. I just need to understand where your head's at."
He scoffed. "I don't even know where my head is at."
The declaration caused an inkling of hope to shoot through my veins. "Can we talk through it? Maybe if you talk it out we can—"
"I don't want to talk about it."
Something was wrong. I felt it deep within me. Lincoln could be cold. He was distant when we had first met, but we were strangers then. His walls had shot back up, grander and more sturdy than they were when he wanted nothing to do with me or tutoring. That wasn't something that just happened.
"Is everything okay at home?" The question was quiet. I knew his family was a sensitive topic and I didn't want to unearth anything too painful. But if something was wrong with Sadie or Amelia, I wanted to help.
Lincoln bristled. "You don't need to know everything, Calista."
"You're right." I stared at a speck on the rubber flooring. "But don't you think we're past the point where we keep things from each other?"
"I don't want to make things more complicated than they are right now," Lincoln admitted as he fiddled with his glove. "You don't need to check in with me. I can take care of things on my own."
I nodded in acknowledgement. "I know you're perfectly capable of taking care of yourself. I've seen what you do for your mom and Sadie. But would it be so bad to have someone look out for you for a change, even if it's only once in a while?"
Lincoln was back to being silent. He leaned up against the side of the ring, taking a drink from his water bottle. The quiet between us stretched out. Clanking of gym equipment reverberated throughout the open room. The questions I had for him swirled on my tongue. I had so much I wanted to say, so much I wanted to know, and he was back to shutting me out.
"Was everything you said to me that night a lie?" I must have sounded as hurt as I felt because Lincoln's dark eyes darted up to meet mine. "Were you being honest about any of it?"
"About my childhood being crap? What would I gain from lying to you about that? Sympathy? That's the last thing I want from you."
"How about the other thing?"
"What other thing?" Genuine confusion painted Lincoln's face.
I picked at the dead skin around my thumb. "About it being your first time."
"I didn't lie about anything."
"Then what are you hiding?" I said, my voice cracking. I hated how weak I sounded. "Why are you pushing me away?"
Lincoln's tongue brushed against his bottom lip. "Nothing. I just need some space."
So much for us being exclusive.
The vague responses were beginning to get to me. Frustration built as I looked around the gym. As if the brick walls would have the answers I was searching for. "Does this have anything to do with what I saw last night?"
"Drop it." His tone was so sharp it pierced through me.
I sent him a curt nod, tears springing to my eyes. I tried to swallow down the vortex of emotions. "Right, well let me know when you figure everything out."
I knew we weren't anything official, but whatever this was between Lincoln and I hurt more than a break up. A lone tear slipped out, trailing down the side of my face. I swiped at it. There was no way I was going to cry in front of him. I had already made a fool of myself by showing up and demanding answers I didn't get. I turned away, shutting down the conversation and trying to hide the evidence, but I wasn't quick enough.
Lincoln's hand snaked around my wrist. The fabric around his palm was unfamiliar against my skin. "Please don't cry."
I cleared my throat, refusing to give him the eye contact he wanted. "Whether you think we're friends or not, I care about you and I'm not going to apologize for it. But I can't sit around and watch you get hurt."
"I know," he breathed. "I don't want you to."
Another tear slipped down my cheek when the heat from his hand disappeared.
Whatever Lincoln and I had was officially over.
* * * * *
author's note:
My heart hurts. I'd love to know your thoughts! Who do you think is going to cave first?
I don't have much to talk about today. Just know that I'm busy planning my next book and it will be launching here this summer! I'm so excited to share more with you all. Keep an eye out in the next couple of weeks ;)
Happy reading!