The next day I opened my eyes slowly and immediately the memories of the night before invaded my head. A smile was born on my lips before I knew it. I raised my head slightly and saw that I was curled up against Louis' chest, his arm around my waist. My smile widened even more. Inevitably my eyes immediately went to my boyfriend's face.
I still couldn't believe I could actually call him that. I wished I could shout it out to the world, I just wasn't quite sure what he thought, probably outside of Holmes Chapel he preferred to remain hidden. But I couldn't really worry about those things at the time, I could only look at his relaxed face and think how peaceful he looked. His hair fell messy on his forehead, so I reached out and pushed them away with my hand.
He was truly beautiful, every sense totally intoxicated me; when he was there I couldn't see anything else, I completely lost my mind. It was a good feeling, but when I finally realised it I felt so stupid. It was amazing what a simple guy could do to me, I never thought I could feel this way. And it probably would never happen to me again.
I had tried to think about how my life would have continued if we had broken up, which anyway was not so unlikely given our constant fights, but after actually having him, I could not imagine it anymore. It seemed to me a practically impossible and terribly dark reality, so I just couldn't imagine it.
I also decided that the time had come to inform Liam of the situation as well, after all he was one of my best friends and he would understand me and perhaps, with a little more calm and delicacy, Zayn would too. I wasn't so optimistic about his reaction, but I knew he loved me and so perhaps over time he would learn to accept it. Liam and Niall would certainly have helped me convince him; maybe he should spend some time with Louis so he could realise for himself that he wasn't so terrible. Sure, that was easier said than done and I should have mentioned it to Louis as well, who himself isn't exactly dying to be friends with Zayn. But maybe he would have made an effort if I'd asked him.
'Would you do this for me, Lou?' I wondered as I watched him. Before I could really know it, I was leaning in to kiss him. When I broke away, I saw him squint and then blink a couple of times in an attempt to focus the room. He froze for a moment when his eyes met mine, but I couldn't quite read his expression.
"What the fuck time is it?" he asked then without much delicacy and I had to keep from laughing. I took a quick look at the alarm clock on my bedside table.
"It's a quarter past nine, I'm sorry, I didn't want to wake you up," I whispered back.
"The next time you don't want to wake me up, don't kiss me, right?" he answered roughly and I was already getting scared at the idea that he might have been angry. Perfect, we hadn't even been together for twenty-four hours and we were already arguing. But then his face broke into a shy smile.
"Yes, but ehmm... It's not like I didn't like waking up like this" he said, blushing a little.
"Really?" I asked him, brightening up.
"Yeah, but don't make me repeat it, I'm not good with these umm... things. And besides I'm a bit rusty" he admitted, almost ashamed.
"Oh well, I'm not practical at all. I think I never have had a real girlfriend. Oh well, boyfriend," I told him cheerfully.
"Pfft, please! Saying cheesy things every minute seems to be your natural talent." Ignoring my 'That's not true at all!', he proceeds to ask me if I've really never had a girlfriend.
"Well yes. If I wanted to fuck a girl I just did it, without too much coaxing. It seemed useless to me to do stupid things like 'getting together' and all that fuss" I said simply, shaking my head. Thinking about it now it almost made me laugh. What the hell had Louis done to me?
"Oh, now I see, you're pouring all the couple flirting that you've never had in the past on me all at once," he said with a chuckle. Then he stopped for a moment, thoughtful. "Well to tell the truth I've never had a real girlfriend either. Well yes, some yes, but I never went beyond two months of relationship and they were still middle school stories. It's not like they matter much."
"So does that mean we're both true firsts for each other?" I asked him doubtfully. He looked at me and gave me a sly smile.
"First let's see if you go beyond two months Styles." I couldn't help but shake my head and smile thinking that in reality that thing had been going on for much more than two months, we had only made it official. Besides, I wasn't going to let him go so easily.
I kissed him, taking him by surprise. "We'll see," I told him, winking. He chuckled before coming close to me, placing his hand on my cheek and deepening the kiss from just before.
"Maybe it's better to get up and go downstairs," he told me after pulling away.
"Mmm... I don't feel like that" I complained "Today Robin has the day off since it's Easter and he will surely be home."
"Come on, don't be a baby," he told me, before pulling the covers away and getting up. The sight of Louis completely naked stunned me for a few seconds. It certainly wasn't the first time I'd seen him like that, but what could I do if I had a boyfriend with a body that took my breath away? I shook myself and decided to get up too, except when I moved and felt a sharp pain in my lower back.
A moan of pain escaped my mouth before I could stop myself. Louis turned to me in confusion, before realising what it was and bursting out laughing.
"What are you laughing at?" I told him bitterly "You should feel guilty, it's all because of you." At those words he burst out laughing even more. "Asshole. You're a terrible boyfriend."
Louis, still giggling, put on a pair of boxers and then approached me and helped me get out of bed.
"Come on, let's go take a shower" he said, still giggling.
"Together?" I asked him, surprised. Louis rolled his eyes.
"Yes, together" he started walking towards the door, then turned towards me." Can you walk or do I have to carry you on the shoulder?"
"Fuck you!" I mumbled and he laughed again. I put on a pair of boxers myself, just to cross the corridor. Actually I was having a little trouble walking, but I never would admit to Louis, who probably noticed it all the same from my walk.
Showering with Louis felt somehow extremely romantic. We soaped each other and Louis spent a good fifteen minutes massaging my curls under the excuse of shampoo. Of course, it all happened between stolen soap-flavoured kisses. After showering we went down to the living room, where we found Robin and Gemma watching the news bulletin. I decided to pass them and go to the kitchen, where I found my mother tidying up. I've never understood why the kitchen is always dirty. No matter what time of day it is, my mother always has to clean the kitchen. Always.
"Good morning" she welcomed us cordially "Did you sleep well?"
"Never slept better," Louis replied and immediately my cheeks blushed. It was a perfectly normal answer, but his tone implied something else. I just hoped my mother hadn't noticed.
"I'm happy. I'll make you breakfast, is coffee okay, Louis?" she asked and he nodded. I was glad to see my mom at least trying hard and wondered if Zayn could have done the same.
"Harry, we're going to Aunt Clary's for lunch, it would be nice if you could come too," my mother suggested, trying to make it seem casual as she made the coffee.
"What? No! We're not attending a boring family lunch!" I protested immediately. Louis gave me a pleading look letting me know he wasn't dying to do that either.
"But Harry, it's Easter! Besides, maybe Louis would like to meet the rest of your relatives," my mother tried to convince me.
"I don't think so, Mom. I don't want him to be looked at like a caged animal. Besides, you know Aunt Clary is just a harpy looking for the next gossip." My mother pursed her lips, aware that I was right, but not quite convinced yet.
For once I had to thank Robin. "I'm not going to let everyone know that my son is a fucking fag," came his voice from the living room. Ok: offensive, but useful. Then honestly I didn't even care what he had to say anymore.
"See? He doesn't want me either and I too must admit that I don't really want to spend the whole afternoon with him" I said confidently. She sighed in resignation.
"Ok, fine. Can you manage with the food? Anyway, there should be something in the fridge. And a cake too. I was going to take it to Clary's, but it's better to leave it to you, at least you can celebrate this beautiful day. I think we'll be back towards evening" was the last thing my mother said to me.
**
And Louis and I really celebrated, though certainly not in the way she had expected.
I wasn't entirely sure how Louis and I from the living room had ended up rolling in the blankets in my bedroom. That time we were much less hesitant and I a little less rigid, which is why it was even more beautiful than the night before. All I could think about was that there's no way it was just his second time with a guy. When he assured me that it really was, I could only come to one conclusion. Louis was the god of sex. No really, that was the only rational explanation, because no other girl had ever been able to make me feel so much pleasure. I also had to admit that I was starting to really understand gays. I had always thought that having a dick in my ass was a form of pure masochism, but now I could feel all the fulfilment that came with it and I was starting to wonder why all the guys didn't practise it. Fuck the girls, it felt so much better this way.
While Louis was showering, I decided to give my friends a round of calls. I dismissed Niall quite quickly, because he started asking me rather uncomfortable and embarrassing questions which I flatly refused to answer. Liam didn't answer me, but I spoke for a good half hour with Zayn, happy to hear his voice. We talked about everything and nothing, he told me a little about what he was doing with his old friends and I in turn made up some bullshit about how I was doing. I felt guilty, but 'Oh, no big deal, I spend my days fucking Louis' didn't seem like an option, especially on the phone. When Louis returned from the bathroom, I greeted him with the excuse that I had to prepare dinner.
Which wasn't such an excuse after all. While I cooked some simple chicken, I coyly pitched to Louis the idea of trying to get close to Zayn. He immediately stiffened as he confessed to me that he didn't think it was a good idea. I insisted a bit and he explained that another reason why it was difficult for him to talk to Zayn, besides the fact that the latter hated him, of course, was that he reminded him too much of Daniel. In fact, he couldn't help but associate the two things, since all the first memories he had of Zayn were linked to that boy.
He told me that Zayn had never liked him, even when he was still innocent, but that the raven-haired often found himself walking around with his group to hang out with his friend Daniel, who obviously followed and worshipped Louis like a god. I understood the situation, I understood how much it still hurt him to think about Daniel and how terribly guilty he still felt about what had happened. I explained to him that I didn't expect them to become friends, but that at least they could tolerate each other in case I ever wanted to spend an evening with my boyfriend and my friends. I didn't expect it to happen all the time, but it would have been nice sometimes not to clearly separate things. Louis agreed a little hesitantly. He told me he would make an effort, but he didn't promise me anything.
"Maybe let's start with important occasions, like your birthday," he told me before becoming thoughtful. "Wait, when is your birthday?" he asked me.
"It was February 1st," I said simply as I started serving the chicken. Louis gasped.
"Wait, are you telling me you've already passed your birthday?" I shrugged in response.
"But you didn't tell me anything" and from his tone he sounded almost hurt.
"I didn't think it was that important. Besides, nineteen is such a stupid age, it's not the year you become legal and it's not even the year you stop being a teenager. It's just a year like this, in the middle, totally useless, it's not worth celebrating" I explained and saw that he didn't seem to agree much.
"But it was your birthday and you didn't celebrate it in any way!" he replied indignantly.
"That's not true, my parents and Gemma sent me a new pair of ankle boots as a gift." I heard him mumble 'That's where those awful things came from', but I ignored him. "Oh and Nick also wished me a happy birthday and gave me a book, which I promptly burned."
"Did Nick get you a present? Why on earth did you tell him it was your birthday?" he asked and sounded quite annoyed. I rolled my eyes.
"It's not like I told him, but we've been best friends for years, it was obvious he knew when my birthday was," I told him with a chuckle.
"But..." he began to protest, but I stopped him immediately.
"Lou, don't make it a state issue. It's over now and I'm fine with it like this. Now eat the chicken before it gets cold" I said, giving him a smile.
He didn't look convinced, but kept quiet and started eating.
After placing the dishes in the sink, Lou and I curled up on the sofa. My mother warned me they would be home later than expected. This caused the second round of that day to be born, on that same couch.
Maybe we were overdoing it, we went from nothing to doing it three times in two days, but Louis' body was like a drug, driving me to want more and more. I also felt an unhealthy excitement that we were polluting Robin's beloved sofa with our sins.
I couldn't wait to see him the following day sitting right on that piece of furniture.
**
And the next day he was right there reading the paper. I grinned when I saw him, enjoying his unawareness. My mother informed me that since they had gone to her relatives for Easter, that day, for Easter Monday, they would be going to Robin's relatives. Again she tried to persuade me to go with them, but again I refused, all the more so knowing it was Robin's family. I mean, they weren't even real relatives!
Even Gemma this time refused the invitation, preferring to go to her boyfriend's house. I, for my part, promised myself that Louis and I wouldn't go overboard that day. I therefore concentrated on tidying things up and preparing myself psychologically for the return to school, which would take place the following day.
So I took all of my and Louis' dirty clothes and carried them down to the cellar to be washed. I should have given them to my mother two days earlier, but I completely forgot about them. I was very pleased that I was able to get the washing machine going, laundry wasn't exactly one of my usual things. When I turned around I found Louis staring at me in amusement.
"You can cook, do the laundry, wash the dishes," he said, "tell me you can also sweep the floor and I'll marry you tomorrow."
I smiled at him mischievously. "Oh sweeping, maybe that's what I do best." He was satisfied that I had taken the bait, so he pushed me against the running washing machine and started kissing me. In a moment of rationality I stopped him, remembering all my good intentions.
"Wait, wait," I told him, pulling him away from me.
"What happens?" he asked me. I looked at him, ready to answer him and give him all my nice explanations, but then my eyes met his, glossy and eager, his red and swollen lips, his hair tousled, not to mention his already half-formed erection pressed against my pelvis.
"Oh, fuck it!" I said grabbing his shirt and pulling him to me, starting to kiss him again. He made me sit on the washing machine and ended up fucking me right on it. After all, I hadn't had real sex for months, I had to recover somehow.
Perhaps our weight was breaking the old appliance, but in that moment I didn't care about anything, I only cared about Louis inside me, his lips on mine, his arms on my back and yet, that feeling of not being close enough. I wanted to be able to mix not only our bodies, but also our souls. And maybe I was succeeding. We were succeeding.
**
The next day was rather sad. As much as I missed my friends, I really didn't want to go back to school. It had been nice, despite Nick's and Robin's unexpected events, to lock myself up in my soap bubble with Louis. It seemed like forever since we left, too many things had changed. Louis had opened up to me completely, he had told me the truth, we had gone from fake boyfriends to real boyfriends and we had taken the plunge. But the holidays were over and I had to get back to reality.
Louis and I said goodbye to my mother once we got to college, we rushed to our room to leave our bags, after which Louis kissed me goodbye and told me he was going to find Josh. I understood, he hadn't seen his friend for a while, I didn't feel abandoned. So I went looking for Niall, who told me he was already there.
Fortunately, I found him shortly after and together we went to the entrance to wait for Liam and Zayn to arrive. The latter arrived shortly after and greeted us with affectionate pats on the back. He smoked a cigarette as he told us about the nightmare journey he had made. After an hour we started to get weirded out by Liam's missing, who was usually the first to arrive. Niall was about to text him, but Zayn cut him off, pointing to a figure in the distance. I recognized it as Liam and smiled happily, it had really been too long since I'd heard from him and I'd missed him.
But my smile froze as he got closer. My blood froze in my veins as I saw that Liam's face was swollen and covered in scratches and bruises.