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There was blood everywhere.
A shiver of dread spiralled through Jackson as he examined the horrified looks on everyone's faces. It was like they were looking at a monster...but they were looking at him.
It took a moment for him to make sense of everything: the dead wolves, his racing heart, and the taste of blood in his mouth. He knew that he'd done this. The amulet he found behind the steel door had wrapped itself around his neck and awakened something inside him.
When he killed those wolves, that heavy, burning desire for revenge consumed him—the same desperation he'd felt while battling for control of his wolf. Just as he'd wanted revenge for what The Holy Grail had done to his parents—to him—he wanted revenge for what Kane's pack had done. And the rage...the anger. He knew what it was. But he was too afraid to admit it to himself.
"Demon ethos..." Tokala breathed, his eyes wide and his jaw dropped.
"What the hell, man?" Julian stammered.
That was it, wasn't it? The amulet wrapped around his neck was filled with demon ethos, and somehow, in his time of need, the amulet did something to him. But he wasn't sure what. Did the power he'd just used belong to the amulet...or was it his?
Was the demon part of him waking up? Was it going to fight for control of his body like his wolf?
Was the rage burning inside him going to consume him?
"Jackson?" Damon asked slowly, taking a step towards him.
Jackson set his eyes on the Alpha. "Y...yeah," he responded, his voice shaky, and his body trembling.
"Dude, that was awesome!" Julian exclaimed, jumping up and down. "You just totally annihilated them!"
"N-no," Jackson stuttered, shaking his head. "I...didn't...I—"
"It's okay," Damon said as he reached him. "Are you hurt?"
Jackson shuddered as he anxiously looked himself over.
"Chief, we should get out of here. Kane's Gamma is going to feel that those Epsilons are dead," Tokala said.
Damon didn't respond. He kept his honey-brown eyes on Jackson. "Jackson," he said, and when Jackson stopped looking for wounds on his body and stared into his eyes, the Alpha said, "Calm down. It's over. You did what you had to do, okay? Just relax...like I taught you. Ground yourself, focus on your ethos, and maintain control of yourself."
Gazing at him, Jackson did as he was told. He focused on the pulsating organ behind his heart; he concentrated on the ethos burning through his veins and took a deep, shaky breath.
He wouldn't give in to the anger. He might be a demon, but he wasn't a monster. He wasn't like Ridge.
But all that blood.... He could smell it...and the demon inside him wanted it.
He gritted his teeth and shook his head.
No.
He was stronger than this. Stronger than the furious ethos which resided inside the amulet. And he was stronger than the asmodi blood which ran through his veins.
This was his body—his ethos. And he was in control.
Something landed in the snow, and a weight was lifted from his neck.
Jackson opened his eyes, and when he saw the amulet lying at his paws, his tense body began to relax.
"Rachel put this in your pack," Damon said, and then picked the amulet up with his teeth.
While he watched Damon and Rachel put the amulet in the bags she was carrying, Jackson slowly calmed down. His racing heart slowed, and the bloody snow no longer compelled him near it.
"Dude," came Julian's voice.
Jackson turned his head and gawped at them.
"That was...that was just...oh man," they babbled with a wide grin on their face.
But Jackson couldn't match their energy right now. While Julian obviously felt excited about what everyone had just witnessed, Jackson felt horrified. The power he felt...the fury. It could have consumed him if he'd given in, and he never wanted to feel it again.
"We're moving out," Damon called, and then made his way over to Jackson. When he reached him, he quietly asked, "Are you okay?"
Jackson nodded. "Yeah. I just...I'm okay." There wasn't time for him to stand around and tell Damon what that amulet made him feel. They had to get far away from there before more of Kane's wolves turned up.
"Okay," the Alpha said with a nod. "Walk up front with me."
He walked with Damon, and the pack followed closely behind, leaving the mangled corpses of Kane's Epsilons to whoever or whatever discovered them first.
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The pack walked for hours. When they finally stopped, the moon was descending, and the sky was getting lighter. They were still in the middle of the woods, though, and they hadn't been able to find somewhere to set up camp. Damon sent Brando and Enola ahead several times, but whenever they came back, it was with the same news that there were no caves or glades or abandoned animal dens—there was nothing.
"What are we going to do?" Jackson quietly asked Damon; he couldn't ignore the angst pooling in his gut anymore.
"I don't know," the Alpha replied, looking around. "We might just have to stop somewhere around here—use the cover of the trees."
"There's gotta be a river or something around here," Julian called.
"Wait," Alastor said.
Everyone kept walking but glanced over at him.
"Over there," he said with a nod.
Jackson turned his attention to where he'd nodded and set his eyes on an abandoned, rusted car. It looked like it crashed into the tree it was hugging a long time ago; the doors were missing, as were the tires, so it had obviously been looted long ago, too.
"It's better than nothing, right chief?" Tokala asked Damon.
The Alpha nodded. "Yeah, it'll do for one day. Let's go."
They all followed Damon over to the car, and once they reached it, they all slumped down and sighed deeply—it was the first rest they'd had since leaving the ruin.
Jackson sat by the trunk and glanced inside, but there was nothing but snow clinging to the torn seats. But as he was about to lie down, Damon appeared beside him and ushered him around the other side of the car.
Once Damon was sure that no one was listening, he looked at Jackson and frowned in concern. "Talk to me truthfully now that we're alone. Are you okay?"
Staring at him, Jackson nodded. "Yeah, I just...I—"
"Tell me about what happened when you killed Kane's wolves."
"Oh, well...." He took a deep breath and shook his head as he sat down. "I don't know how it happened. I got pinned...and the wolf was going to tear my throat out—I couldn't fight it off, it was too strong. And then it just happened. There was a bright light...and then the wolf wasn't on me anymore."
Damon nodded slowly. "We all saw the light, too. It blinded everyone for a moment. What about what you felt?"
"It was...like rage. Like I was so angry for a moment. All I could think about was how I wanted Kane's wolves dead for what they did to us," he mumbled, glancing through the car window at Damon's wolves. "And I could feel this new power like...burning through me. It was a weird sensation; I don't really know how to describe it."
The Alpha nodded again; his concerned frown lightened a little, though. "Did it feel similar to what you felt when you were battling for control over your wolf?"
"Yeah."
"To me, it sounds as if that amulet did something to wake up your demon ethos. I—"
"Uh...chief," Tokala interjected.
Damon and Jackson set their eyes on the orange wolf.
"S-sorry, but...if I may, I think I know what happened. There's a lot in my ancestry knowledge about demons; my ancestors dealt with them a lot. Uh...can I....?"
The Alpha nodded.
Tokala moved a little closer to Jackson. "From what I saw and what I know, I think that the amulet was attracted to Jackson's ethos. You're a demon, right?"
"Y-yeah...asmodi."
"Mm-hmm. So, I think the amulet might have just been enhancing the demon ethos you already have. Vessels containing demon ethos can't be used by just anyone, after all. It has to be a demon—you basically need demon ethos of your own to use other demon ethos."
"Oh, well...that makes sense," Jackson drawled. "Maybe that was why I felt so attracted to it when I found it."
"It's very likely," Tokala confirmed.
"When did your ancestors deal with demons?" Jackson asked curiously.
"A long, long time ago. A story for another time."
"Indeed," Damon said. "Thank you for your input, Tokala."
"Of course, chief. Forgive me, but..." he said and took his eyes off Damon to look at Jackson again, "are you going to learn to harness your demon ethos?"
He didn't know the answer to that, but considering Damon was also staring at him and waiting for him to answer, he started feeling a little pressured. He'd heard that he could be extremely useful to the pack if he learned, and considering how small Damon's pack was now, it would be a whole lot more useful...but he wasn't sure if he wanted to feel that way again. All that rage...and the desire for revenge. Would it be like that every time?
"I...well, when I did...that..." he stuttered, trying to get the picture of all that blood out of his head, "I felt...furious. All I wanted to do was kill. I don't wanna feel that again."
"Just like learning to control your wolf, you'd be able to learn to control the rage, too," Tokala told him. "At least that's what I know from my ancestors."
"It's entirely up to you, though," Damon added.
Jackson looked down at the snow. He did want to be useful to Damon and the pack, and if he really could learn to control the anger he'd felt when he'd killed Kane's wolves, then...maybe he did want to learn to use the power he got from his parents. It was all he had left of them both, after all, and he didn't want to ignore it forever.
So, with a deep exhale, he lifted his head and stared at Damon. "I think that I want to learn. We could use it, right? If I was stronger and could fight, then it'd give us a better chance at making it out here now that Aysel and half the pack are gone."
The Alpha shifted his sights at Tokala. "Do you know anything from your ancestors about how someone like Jackson could learn to use their demon ethos?"
Tokala adorned a pondering frown. "Uh...maybe? I can try and see if there is, but...wouldn't it be similar to fighting for control over our wolves?"
"I don't think so," Jackson said. "When I was fighting my wolf, my wolf felt like this whole other being inside me, but this demon ethos is more like a solid part of me already. I think I just have to learn to get it under control."
"Do you think that's something you could do?" Damon asked.
"Yeah," he said unsurely. "I mean I can try. I just wouldn't really know where to start."
"It's ethos, right?" Tokala questioned. "So maybe reaching inside yourself and focusing on that ethos is a good way to begin."
Would that work? Could he somehow concentrate like Damon had shown him and locate the demon parts of his ethos? Would he be able to learn to control the rage and use this other power for good?
"You don't need to have all the answers right now," Damon told him quietly. "Take time to think on it. For now, we need to rest. It's been a long night. Tokala."
The orange wolf responded with a nod, and then turned around and left them alone.
Damon moved closer to Jackson and nuzzled the side of his face with his nose. "I'm glad that you're okay," he said quietly. "I'm sorry that this all happened. I should have taught you to fight by now, there just hasn't been time with—"
"It's okay, Damon," Jackson assured him, nuzzling the side of the Alpha's face, too. "A lot's been going on, so I'm not really expecting there to be time to do all of these things. But...I should probably start learning soon, right? After that fight with Kane's wolves—a-and there's probably gonna be cadejo, right? The further we get away from that pit."
The Alpha nodded. "We're all going to have to be more careful than usual. There are a lot fewer of us now, and if we come across another variant or even a large group of cadejo, things are going to get worse. We might be doing more running than fighting."
"As long as we're safe though, right?"
Damon nodded.
Jackson then sat down so he could see Damon's face. "So...do we have a plan for when we get to Silverlake? Should I go and scope the place out and get supplies like I did in Farrydare?"
"No. There's a Venaticus outpost there; I don't want to risk them having some sort of alert system and catching you."
"That's a thing?"
"I don't know, but we should probably assume that it is. I'm not going to let them get their hands on you. We'll investigate the outskirts and find somewhere to stay that isn't too close but also not too far that Kane will get bold and send wolves to find us."
"But if I can't go into the city, how am I supposed to find Wilson?"
Damon frowned at him. "Jackson...I know that you want to find your friend, but I did tell you that I'd keep you from doing something I think is dangerous for you and for the pack. I'm not talking about keeping you from going into the city indefinitely, but I am asking that you wait until we know that it's safe and the Venaticus aren't going to be alerted when a hybrid enters the city."
Jackson sighed and stared down at the snow. As much as he hated to admit it, Damon had a point. The last thing Jackson wanted was to waltz into Silverlake and set off some sort of Venaticus alarm system—the mere thought of having law officers come down on him like a tonne of bricks made Jackson shiver anxiously.
So, he nodded and set his eyes on Damon again. "Okay. I'll wait."
"Thank you," Damon said, and then nuzzled his neck. "I just want to protect you and keep you safe."
"I know," he said quietly, resting his neck over Damon's head. "I won't go until you think it's safe for me to do so."
Damon dragged his muzzle around Jackson's neck and pulled him into an embrace of sorts—one they could manage in their wolf forms. "I love you," he whispered.
Jackson could hear the worry in the Alpha's voice. "I love you, too," he told him, and then said, "Don't worry so much about me, okay? I'll work it out; I'll find out how to control my demon ethos, and then I'll be able to fight better. Maybe I can even use my demon ethos against the cadejo."
"Maybe. But don't push yourself, all right?"
"I won't."
The Alpha stepped back out of their embrace and gazed into Jackson's eyes. "Wait here, okay? I'm just going to go and make sure everyone else is okay and then I'll be back."
Jackson smiled and nodded. "Okay." And as Damon headed around the car and started asking each wolf if they were okay, he sat down and waited.
But it didn't take long for him to start hearing it.
The whispers.
They called to him, swirling around inside his head. He still wasn't able to understand what they were saying, but the feeling they gave him was all he needed to know that it was the amulet calling to him.
He peered through the car windows, setting his sights on Rachel. The amulet was in one of her bags, but she was at least twenty feet away from Jackson. How could he hear it from all the way over there?
And above all else...why did the voices sound angry. He'd only just noticed, but they sounded a whole lot more riled up than they had when Jackson first found the amulet. Was it because it was no longer in his possession? Should he go and ask for it back?
No. He didn't want it. Not until he better understood his demon ethos.
With a quiet sigh, he laid down and rested his chin on his front legs. And finally, he felt a huge relief consume him. He'd been on his feet for hours; some rest was probably the best thing for him right now. And when he woke up, maybe his head would be a little clearer, and he'd be able to work out what he was supposed to do to learn to control his demon power.
He waited for Damon to come back before falling asleep, and when the Alpha joined him and curled up with him, he smiled discreetly and rested his head over Damon's back. It was time to rest, and when they woke, they'd be continuing their journey to Silverlake.
Jackson was so close to Wilson now. All he had to do was get to the city...and find him.
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