Deaf Library Student x Popular Kid
Nigel x Evan
***
"Evan!"
Evan didn't even bother looking as he heard Sal shout his name from outside his car. He waited until Sal was right on the window and glaring inside.
He lowered the window barely an inch, seeing him point at him.
"You fucking said Nigel wasn't going to run for ho-co King, yet why is he on the ballot?!"
"I can't control Nigel's actions," Evan grins at him, looking over to the side as he saw Nigel sitting in his car, "Who do you think I am?"
"I thought you were my friend, but I should've known. You've been acting so fucking sketchy lately with how you have handled the situations towards Terrance and Owen. And all for what?" Sal questioned him angrily, causing Evan to not bother responding.
The reason was so obvious.
Sal stormed away from the car now, Evan sighing as he looked back at Nigel. He saw him grinning at him and he rolled back up the window.
"You weren't reading his lips right?"
"Nope, I have no idea what he said, and I don't care." Nigel stated with much certainty. "If I cared, I would've gotten out of the car and spoke to him myself. He makes himself so obvious. I know he probably saw my name on the ballot. Why else would he look so angry? People's anger amuses me greatly."
Evan smiled at him, beginning to start his car.
"Well, now that we got that mess out of the way, I think there's a place we should go. It's like what I said, I'm going to help you in any way I can to win. To win you need to grab people's attention more than you ever have before." Evan drove out of the parking lot, already aware of what he was about to do. "I wanted to change you up even before all of this, but...to think it's happening either way?"
Evan glanced over, seeing Nigel looking right at his lips. He began to smirk as he faced back forward.
"Do malls bother you?"
Nigel looked at Evan without breaking from his face. He wondered if his reasons for asking were for the reasons he thought. Except, he was aware that he never did tell him the predicament of Nigel's mindset.
He never had to tell anyone, the only ones aware were his family. There was no need to tell anyone because he functioned through society just fine, perfectly even. Even if that was the case, that didn't mean that what he was putting out there for others was really him.
For himself as well...he wasn't sure.
Yet, he felt like when Evan was at his house, he felt most normal then somehow.
"Why do you ask?"
"Oh, uh..." Evan smiled awkwardly, wondering if his reason for asking would be awkward, "Because you're going to a place that's full of noise and talking people, but you can't hear any of it. Does that bother you at all?"
Nigel found himself scoffing, facing back forward. That caused Evan to feel awkward as he wondered if him asking that was wrong. Only to see Nigel shake his head.
"I don't mind the silence, I've already told you that before. I've kept this to myself before but, it's mainly just the pure amount of emotions that surround me. It makes me uncertain and throws me off on if I'm showing enough, not enough, too much..." Nigel ends up saying that much without looking back at Evan.
Unaware that he confused Evan, but he didn't need to look to know that. It was more obvious than anything else.
Evan wondered what he meant by that and to what degree. Why would he question his own emotions when he showed them just fine?
"I don't know what you mean by that, but I don't think you have to worry about that. You show your emotions perfectly, just like any other human being." Evan states ignorantly.
Nigel was back to looking at him, aware that Evan's lips were moving, but he didn't know what exactly he said. Except, he didn't want to know right then. He was content not knowing at all because he knew he probably said something that wasn't true.
Not that he had much to go off of anyway.
"To truly answer your question, malls are fine to me." Nigel decides to lie, causing Evan to sigh in relief.
Not realizing the realness behind Nigel's words at all.
"I don't have to hear all the unnecessary noise and others conversations. Just put my full concentration onto one person." Nigel lies, but at the same time, told the truth.
He looked back at Evan and saw him just driving. When he settled his eyes back onto the road he began to feel a little bit uncomfortable. Especially when they reached a point on the highway and he felt his body stiffen.
Evan drove at the right speed on the highway, but he didn't realize that this was the first time he's ever driven Nigel somewhere like this. Somewhere onto the highway because before with others, it's always not been the highway. To get to the mall, they had to travel by interstate.
Nigel's arms began to fold, looking down at his lap as he didn't want to look at the highway. Evan now noticing such an unusual action and glanced at him for a moment.
"Are you good?" Evan ends up asking.
He was aware that Nigel was looking down and therefore, heard nothing. His full focus was on the fact that they were on the highway. He had no interest in looking up and trying to force a conversation.
The reality that he could possibly crash again was all that ran rampant in his mind.
Evan looked back up, beginning to drive off the highway as they were only two minutes away from the mall. He stopped at a light now, reaching over as he pushed Nigel back up.
When he saw his face, he saw the complete stress written all over it.
"Nigel what's wrong?"
"The light..." Nigel croaked, causing Evan to frown.
"What?"
"The light! The light is green!" Nigel exclaimed nervously as he looked over his shoulder to see if anyone was honking. He couldn't hear the honks, but he would imagine he could tell by someone's expression inside their car.
Evan faced back forward, driving now and getting them to the mall. Once he did, he parked the car and rushed out of it. Going onto Nigel's side, he grabbed his arm.
"We're here...so if that makes you feel any better..." Evan drifts, looking at Nigel and saw him look over at him now. "I'm going to assume...it had something to do with being on the highway, right? Did you have your crash on a highway?"
When he asked that, he saw Nigel nod slowly. He immediately felt bad as he cradled Nigel's face.
"I'm sorry... That's the only way to get here, there's no side street direction - if that makes sense."
"Of course it does. I just wasn't prepared for it was all. I'm highly aware...that to get to the mall, you have to take the highway. It's the action of doing it that I wasn't prepared for. If I had been, you wouldn't have seen this side of me. I didn't prepare for it all because we were talking."
"True...you were going on about worrying if you showed true emotion, not enough emotion, too much emotion... I think you showed it perfectly here."
Nigel frowned, seeing Evan rest his fingers onto his cheek. His thumb settling on his lips.
"If what emotion did I show perfectly here besides something pathetic?"
"Fear...so you can be afraid of something." Evan says the last sentence so quickly that Nigel couldn't read it properly.
He didn't like that that was the one true emotion he showed as he nudged Evan back.
"I don't want to hear that. Fear is not an emotion I want to be good at."
"No, I mean you showed it truly. It was raw fear, not that you're good at showing it, because you're not. This is the first time I've seen you actually look so...true?"
"What?" Nigel looked at him funny, causing Evan to smile awkwardly as he stood up.
"Nothing...I don't know what I'm talking about."
Evan pulled back enough to allow Nigel to get out of the car. When he did, he saw the funny look he was giving him. As if he was looking at him odd for saying such a thing.
Not knowing that he only threw Nigel off more.
Has his emotions and actions never actually come off true at all? He was certain his acting and actions were enough to go through without being seen off.
Now he wondered if it was all in vain, especially before Evan. It even made him wonder somehow...if Evan believed his feelings for him were true at all.
That thought plagued his mind up until he began to change his clothes. Still thinking about it even if he was being given compliments by Evan and trying on new clothes that he wasn't even going to buy.
When Evan turned his back to him grab a different shirt now, he wasn't going to miss this opportunity to ask.
"Do you even think I like you?" Nigel asks Evan in the changing room, looking through the mirror at him. He saw Evan look back at him as he held another shirt for him to try on.
Him abruptly asking that question was odd to Evan, but he understood why. Considering he said that the fear he showed in the car was the truest emotion he's seen out of him...he wish he said nothing at all. Made things unnecessarily awkward...on his end.
He wasn't sure about Nigel.
"Yeah?" Evan answered with confusion, his eyes diverting off of the mirror. "Why do you ask?"
"You already know why." Nigel states quietly, with eerie calm to it.
Evan watched Nigel turn to face him now, taking the shirt from his hand.
"When you said what you said, you basically implied that my emotions and actions beforehand have not come off true. One thing I am asking is if my feelings for you have come off true at all." Nigel asks with more description.
Now that he put it that way, Evan just stood there. He began to feel awkward because in all honesty...?
"No." Evan replies back, causing Nigel to somehow feel his heart drop for a millisecond. "But that's not necessarily a bad thing. I...I know how it first came to be and I know you're agenda behind all of your actions. You didn't just confess to me and do all of this because you actually like me, it's because you were planning on hurting me in the end. You probably planned on breaking my heart, like you said that one day when we found those people. You win people's hearts just to break them, because...whatever you said. I know it's different now...I think? I like to think, yeah?"
He frowned, almost wondering if he was imagining things. Because now that he was thinking about it, it came off very...sociopathic.
Nigel's actions came off that way.
"You know what?" Evan looked back at Nigel, seeing him just look at him calmly. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
When he said that, Nigel didn't know if he should say it now. He began to turn away until Evan forcefully faced him back his way.
"You're not running away from me. I like you, okay? But...you're not normal. I've tried to understand you or reason with you, but what aren't you telling me? Because now that you asked me that question...what do you even like about me? Am I just something to be manipulated because it's fun? Because I like you enough to toy with you too, not that you'd probably even care." Evan snapped angrily at him.
Nigel stood there at a loss, for once, not knowing what to say. He stepped back, only for Evan to bring him back forward forcefully.
"Don't try to fucking run. You asked me the damn question and I answered, so answer mine. Just talk to me, what aren't you telling me? Is there even anything to tell me at all?" Evan snaps again.
His evident anger began to bother Nigel as he started to remove the shirt from the store. He began to put his own back on and once he did, he found himself pushed down onto the chair.
Looking right up at Evan's angry expression, glaring him down.
"You manipulate people, fake emotions, don't even know your own emotions, lie, and I can tell you believe you're smarter than everyone... And I'll give you that, I think you are to some degree. Except you chose the wrong person to use all that shit on because I will try to understand what's at play here. All you have to do is talk to me, and what have you not been doing? - talking. I haven't gone anywhere even after hearing and seeing all the shit you've done. So, what's different now?" Evan questions him hurriedly and continues to press as he saw the discomfort coming to his face.
He knew he was probably crossing a line, but he felt like he wouldn't get anything if he didn't continue to. He felt a little bad, yet at the same time, didn't. Because he knew how Nigel was to begin with so any expression he was seeing, how was he supposed to know it was really him?
Nigel, however, was beginning to become pissed off, but not with Evan. He was becoming mad at himself because he thought he was pretending just right. That all of his memories of feeling normal and right were enough to replicate. Yet...they were futile under Evan's eye.
How intently has Evan been watching him?
He wanted to be seen as normal.
He was in love with the idea of appearing normal to others, and the one person who saw him normally...at first, was Evan. Now...?
"So you don't think I'm normal?" Nigel asks him upfront.
Evan scoffed, pulling back as he waved his hands around where they were.
"I've accepted that you're not normal, and you probably never will be. Look at where the fuck we are! We're literally in a mall to get you better clothes so that you can win ho-co King against Sal, and for what? This isn't normal. You're not normal, but I've accepted that. There's obviously something wrong with you so, that's why I'm asking because I care." Evan sighs, grinning as he didn't want to come off too inconsiderate.
Except when he looked back at Nigel he saw him look distraught. He snorted as he wondered if that was some kind of ploy to distract from answering his question.
"You can't pretend with me, you know. Just be honest-."
"Shut up."
Evan stopped, seeing Nigel not even look like himself, or whatever that was supposed to be. He saw him stand up abruptly and Evan tried to block him from leaving.
"Where are you going? We are having a serious conversation-."
"So you don't see me as normal, you've been just acting along with me and letting me think I was feeling normal?" Nigel asked him in a rush and Evan couldn't help but snort. "What's so funny?"
"You have been acting with me from the very first moment I met you. Since I like you, I've accepted your actions and how you do things. Normal, or not. So...if that means I've been tolerating your actions and letting you believe what you're doing is normal... Then I guess I have been acting with you, but not to be rude. Just because I like you." Evan explains to him confidently.
Not knowing that that completely threw Nigel off instantly.
"Get away from me." Nigel mutters quietly, and Evan didn't move. "Get out my fucking way!"
Nigel now shoved him to the side harshly, rushing out of the dressing room. Evan knew that he left the clothes in there and would have to put them back, but he disregarded that this one time.
Running after Nigel, only to not even know where he went. He only stayed back for a mere five seconds and now he couldn't find Nigel anywhere.
He...he was ware that he had no ride back, so he let his hope rest on that. That he'd have to come to his car to get a ride back home.
All he did was be honest because he didn't want to lie to someone he liked. Even if Nigel's actions were the way they were, he still liked him.
Except he was unaware of how much he sent everything back. Because the reason why they got as far as they did was because Nigel rested in the assurance that Evan saw him normal.
All he wanted was for someone to see him as normal and not question anything. Now, he was aware that not only did Evan see he wasn't normal, but that he was pretending like his 'normal' was normal for him too. Even if Nigel was pretending to others...he didn't want the person he liked to pretend to him.
The irony of it all was what drove him away.
That he liked Evan truly because he felt normal in his presence, but now that he knew that it was all an act.
He felt more out of place than ever before; and more alone than he ever did. His deafness already had him feeling a sense of loneliness, but with this too?
It was too much.
✎_________________˖*
oh Nigel. 🫥
oh Evan... 😶
honesty is the best policy, right? 😀👊
right?! 🌚 🤛🌝
idk... 😪
seems to have made matters worse. 🫠
but for who though? 😲
any understanding for Nigel or...? 😮💨
lol, probably not. 🤡
vote, comment, follow~✨
- yolo 🫶