Continuation
Jeff as soon as Barcode leaves, furious with one hand he hit on the door and turns his back quickly and at the same time puts his hand in the hair that bothers him behind, imagining Barcode's eyes that were hurt and the words that are leaving him very furious at this moment.
Barcode quickly goes out the door and starts walking quickly crying and sobbing in pain, Barcode didn't leave the building he walked to the building's terrace, when Jeff was sick Barcode always came to the studio but stayed on the terrace looking at the buildings ahead imagining in the kiss of Jeff, Barcode opens the terrace door and walks quickly to the edge of the terrace wall, grabs the wall and screams a little loud in anger and pain.
Barcode: You big idiot.
Barcode turns on his side crying over the words that hurt him so much and made him so angry, he never felt like this.
Barcode: I hate you.... I hate you P'jeff... Who are you.... Who do you think you are to tell me how I feel?... You don't... You don't know anything of me...
: Just like you don't know anything about him.
Barcode turns his face to the side, tears on his face.
Barcode: P'Talay!
Barcode stops looking at him and looks straight ahead, trying to hide his feelings that he doesn't want anyone to know, Talay looking into Barcode's face and tears of pain.
Talay: You fell in love with him didn't you?
Barcode doesn't look at him, he already knew that his look and his tears had already betrayed him, giving a sigh of pain imagining in Jeff's so cold words.
Barcode: Love?! apparently that's what my face is showing right now, I can't deny you....(Barcode turns to face Talay, angry at Jeff but loving him, with tears on his face).... But right now I hate him... He had no right to...
Talay interrupts him..
Talay: You don't hate him, it's too late for that... Your eyes right now show that you just found out that you love him... But if you really hate him, please don't hate him... not before listen to what I have to tell you....
When Barcode hears the truth that he himself has known for a long time, he stops looking at him, turns his back to Talay and at the same time grabs his hair from the front and puts it behind him talking at the same time.
Barcode: I love him... I can't deny it anymore.... but... He insulted me in the worst way, and I don't let any insult pass...( Barcode turns back to the side, angry and with tears dry on the face looking at Talay) .... I'm not like that and I won't be because of a man ... Because of that person he offended me... If he's so important, this Gameplay, why he doesn't go and stay with him instead of showing his disgusted face to me or anyone who appears in front of him?!
Talay knowing why Jeff closes himself off to anyone who comes near him, Barcode looks forward at the buildings in front of him.
Talay: He might even do that if this person wasn't dead right now.
Barcode immediately turns his face, widens his eyes a little surprised by what he just heard.
Barcode: What... What did you just say?!...
Talay seeing the surprised look, gave a slight sigh, he doesn't like to talk about Jeff's past.
Talay: What you heard... I can tell you everything, but after you hear the truth... Please don't hate him... He has been suffering for more than 9 years for this person... He is suffering in silence...
Barcode seeing the sad look on Talay's face, knowing he won't feel good to hear the truth but wanting to know anyway.
Barcode: I'll listen to what you have to say... Maybe I'll reconsider not hating him.
Talay tells Barcode everything.
Jeff as soon as he hit on the door turns angrily, grabs his hair and grabs the chair next to him, puts back his hair that bothers him in front, thinking about Barcode's angry words and seeing that the last words were completely true, he is stuck in the past, the past has always tormented him but he can't do anything because the young man he love so much died, Jeff feels guilty, crucifies himself and doesn't want to love anyone because he would be forgetting his guilt.
Jeff leaves the studio room and goes on the terrace, he always liked to go on the terrace it was the only quiet place where he could think and be alone.
Barcode turns his face to side with body facing Talay, crossing his arms, looking at the buildings ahead, the sunlight fading, the wind blowing and blowing along with the hair, sad to hear what Talay said.
Talay seeing how much the truth about Jeff is hurting Barcode right now.
Talay: He doesn't want to give his heart to anyone else again... He suffers every day... Gameplay's death left him different... He suffers from hallucinations constantly, he has traumas from the memory of the day of the accident... Gameplay was the person he loved the most... He blames himself for this accident.... So please don't hate him N'Barcode...
Barcode listening to this, looking sideways with the wind blowing, Jeff walking onto the terrace.
Barcode: So... I ended up loving someone stuck in the past.
Jeff doesn't hear what Barcode just said, the distance was not possible for him to hear, Jeff looking at the two in front of him, feeling something he can't, afraid of what he just realised, denying what's happening with his heart, not allowing himself to suffer for someone again for the second time, thinking about Gameplay.
Thinking Jeff: I don't want to fall in love or need someone, I really don't want anything.... you left a hole in my chest when you left me, my heart followed you to the door...Even though I have feelings for this young man, I will never betray what we both had... I can't even though my heart is failing right now looking at him.
Jeff turns his back, leaves the terrace and goes home.
Talay: Can you tell me what you're going to do after this truth?!
Barcode turns to face Talay, sad and without much to say.
Barcode: I will find the answer of what to do when the time comes.
It's only been two days, Barcode wasn't in the studio these two days, Jeff asked Talay to contact Barcode because he already finished producing the background sound of the song, now he needs to record Barcode's voice.
Jeff is in the room with Pond listening to the sound he produced for the song he and Barcode wrote, Talay opens the door, Jeff and Pond look behind them, Barcode enters with Talay behind him, Jeff looking at Barcode, Talay with a smile.
Pond: Oh! Barcode did you come with Talay ?! I thought you'd come alone?!
Talay: He called me to pick him up, so I brought him...
Pond: you two became great friends, that's very good...
Barcode looking at Pond and seeing that Jeff is looking at him without looking away, he was a little embarrassed, what happened to the two, two days ago is still very fresh in his memory, Barcode did his best not to have to look or show your true feelings at Jeff, with a kind smile.
Barcode: P'Talay is very good person and friendly... I feel good with him, we are friends now...
Talay pouting at what Barcode said.
Talay: Just friends?! I don't want to be just friends, I want more...
Barcode smiles shyly at Talay, Jeff gets annoyed with Talay and with this friendship between the two, not wanting to show his irritability, being courteous and forgetting what happened to him and Barcode, always looking at Barcode.
Jeff: I'm glad you came... Can we start recording?!.... (Barcode looks at Jeff) ...I'm done with the sound...
Barcode remembering what Talay said, he still doesn't have a verdict for what he just found out, he still doesn't know if he should continue to feel what he feels for Jeff, Barcode is a young man who doesn't like to throw himself headlong and in a hurry, he sees and analyzes the danger before going ahead, seeing that Jeff has returned to behave politely with him, giving a slight smile and also being polite.
Barcode: Hmm! Yes... We can start recording...
Barcode goes into the room where he will start singing and recording, puts the listener on his ears looks at the three behind the glass, giving a slight smile, Jeff a little serious when he is working.
Jeff: Are you ready to get started?
Barcode waves his index finger, Jeff turns on the sound, and Barcode starts singing. While he sings the three are looking at Barcode, Jeff focuses on Barcode and in his voice, Barcode stops looking at the paper in front of him, for a few seconds he looks at Jeff while he sings the song.
Barcode singing: 🎼Without you I'll never be fine.
🎼Forever feeling like this, like a broken watch I can't fix...( Jeff wrote this part of the song, Barcode when he was writing the song with him saw this stretch and wondered why Jeff would write these sad words).... 🎼 From the moon to the sun... yeah I'm missing your love and lips.... if I had just one wish, to hold you close just like we did... If I can't, if I missed my last chance, I would rather not live....
Barcode stops looking at Jeffb tries to hold back his tears, Barcode has just realized through this song how much Jeff loves and is suffering for Gameplay. Jeff notices Barcode's sad look as soon as he stops looking at him.
The song ends after an hour of recording.
Barcode leaves the recording room and approaches the two, Jeff and Talay, Pond had to leave he went to solve problems at his company. Talay sees Barcode's gaze avoiding Jeff and Jeff avoiding Barcode as Barcode leaves the recording room.
Talay seeing that the two have to talk and apologize to each other, smiling and wanting to get out of their way.
Talay: So we already recorded the song, right?!... Now let's wait for P'Pond... Since he went to solve some problems we won't be able to talk to him today... So... Then, I'm going to go out with some friends ... Goodbye, naa.
Talay trying to turn Barcode stops him immediately grabbing his wrist speaking at the same time, Jeff notices this, Talay turns his face back with his body facing the door, surprised.
Barcode: No! P'.... Can you take me home?! I want....(hard tug)... Ahh...huh!
Barcode is startled to be pulled, Jeff grabs Barcode's wrist making Barcode's other hand that grabbed Talay's wrist grab his shirt next to his chest, Jeff grabbing one of the wrists the other hand without touching anything, with Barcode looking at him in surprise and a little startled as soon as he pulls it out, fixing his gaze on Barcode's eyes, he speaks in Talay with authority.
Jeff: You can go alone... He's staying here, we have to talk.
Barcode looking into Jeff's somewhat predatory gaze, Talay surprised by what he is seeing, the atmosphere has suddenly become tense, Jeff and Barcode are facing each other head on like two animals about to fight, Talay wanting to get away from the two, and realizing that they need to have this conversation.
Talay: So! .... So take care... Please Jeff take it easy... I'll go now...
Talay walks quickly to the door, opens it and leaves, Barcode turns his face to the side sees Talay leaving, tries to stop Talay, but.
Barcode: No! P'...Ahhh...!
Jeff stops him without letting go.
Jeff: Where are you going?
Barcode looks back at Jeff, a little angry he pushes Jeff and pulls his wrist talking at the same time.
Barcode: You didn't have to pull me like that...
Barcode turns his body sideways, looks at his wrist while Jeff speaks in a calm voice, giving a smirk when he sees Barcode angry.
Jeff: You were trying to run away from me, I just had to stop you....(Jeff noticing Barcode's look)... Seeing your look... Do you want to tell me something?!
Barcode with his body on his side, a little embarrassed but also with a very strong personality, he wants to apologize but his pride is so strong at this moment, apologizing is being very difficult for him but thinking about what Talay said, Barcode turns the body towards Jeff, leans the torso and immediately.
Barcode: I apologize.
Barcode is still bent over, Jeff crosses his arms and realizes that Barcode swallowed the pride to have the courage to apologize, giving a slight smile to realize this.
Jeff: You!... It's a strange young man... what happened for you to apologize to me?!..
Barcode lifted his torso and looked sideways, looking away a little embarrassed and not believing that for the first time he apologized even though he was a little bit right, giving a kinda cute but always looking sideways, resting both hands behind on the couch in the studio.
Barcode: I already apologized, that's enough... I shouldn't talk to you in that way... I just got mad for you ... ( Barcode clasps both hands on the couch, realizing he can't speak about him in front of Jeff )... Forget it... I just shouldn't talk about him...
Barcode without looking at jeff, giving a sad look as he remembers the truth of Jeff's past, Jeff noticing this look.
Jeff: From what I see Talay told you something! What did he tell you?!
Barcode turns his face towards Jeff, a little sad, not liking to feel a hole in his heart knowing about Jeff's past.
Barcode: Enough to have to apologize to you and not hate you for your innuendo...
Jeff seeing that Talay told the truth of his past in Barcode, stops crossing his arms, focusing his gaze on Barcode, wanting to know what's behind Barcode's thoughts after finding out about him.
Jeff: And now that you know about me do you still feel sorry for me?
Barcode narrowed his eyes, wondering why Jeff was curious to ask him this question, but since he did.
Barcode: I'm a bit of a weird person I admit.... I'm shy and easily got shy in front of people... My behavior changes easily with someone... I'm a person with a difficult temper and I hardly get angry... There are few people who could make me angry... You were the second one to do this... And my behavior changed with you... To answer your question... I still feel sorry for you because no one deserves to live in the shadows of the past... I feel sorry to know that you locked yourself in, because of that you defend yourself and forbid yourself to love someone again.... The past is in the past, but you stuck with it.... I'm nobody to tell you what to do.... It's your life, you know what to do with it, not me.
Barcode as soon as he says these words turns his back to Jeff and walks to the door, Jeff hearing these well thought out and heavy words from this young man in front of him, everyone who discovers the truth of Jeff's past ends up giving up and running away from him, knowing of that immediately.
Jeff: Are you going to change your personality and run away from me just because of my past?!
Barcode stops as soon as he hears this question, with a vacant look, sad, trying to stay calm so as not to cry, loving someone in these conditions is difficult for him.
Barcode: I will always be the person you knew in the beginning, but you will always be the person I knew in the past.
Barcode opens the door and leaves the production room, Jeff narrows his eyes and frowns, surprised by what Barcode said, not knowing where he met Barcode for him to say that.
Jeff: Has he met me in the past? Where?
This day ended and with it only three days passed.
Pond organized his birthday party, invited several people, Jeff was one of them, Barcode too, Barcode arrived with his sister who left him at the party, Barcode turns around after closing the car door, looks at the five-story building ahead, giving a small smile, goes to the building.
Jeff just arrived, looks in the building and gets bored, Pond forced him to go to his party, not wanting to party at all but he had to come because he was blackmailed by Pond.
Jeff: Damn, I should be at my house in my bedroom... Why do I have to listen to him all the time?
Jeff enters the building, walks to the elevator, sees the elevator almost closing, Jeff runs and screams at the same time.
Jeff: Hey! Stop, I'm going in...
Jeff stops when he sees a hand stop the elevator, walks and stands in front of the elevator, surprised to see the person who stopped the elevator.
Jeff: N'Barcode!...
Barcode surprised to see him, a little uncomfortable after their conversation a few days ago, a little shy.
Barcode: P'Jeff!... You... You're not going to come in?!
Jeff enters the elevator immediately, the elevator closes and begins to rise.
Jeff and Barcode are silent, not saying anything, Barcode didn't know how to start a conversation with Jeff after what happened with the two of them these last few days, it's a little difficult to do that, Jeff still think about the last words of Barcode.
Jeff in thought: Damn, This climate is very tense and strange... I hate it, why do I have to be like this because of him?!... He said he's known me for a long time! Where?! I can't remember....
Jeff stops thinking, turns his face to the side and tries to say something.
Jeff: Barcode, you...
Jeff stops talking as soon as he feels the elevator stop so suddenly, Barcode looking ahead, sees that the elevator has stopped but not on the floor where he and Jeff are going, Barcode takes a step forward, presses the button but the elevator does not move.
Barcode: Looks like the elevator has stopped! There must be some problem!... (Barcode looks behind him)... P'jeff you...
Barcode's eyes widen when he sees Jeff squirm in the corner of the elevator, putting his hands and arms around his head, in a panic, Jeff drops his head and gasps for air.
Jeff: Why did stop?!... No I... ... N'Barcode...
Jeff walks to the elevator door with difficulty, tries to force the elevator open, suffocating and panicking.
Jeff: Please... I can't... Stay here... Open this... I am...(Jeff turns to the front of Barcode thinking about Gameplay, seeing it dimly, sweating on his face and letting tears fall ) .... Gameplay please...where... Where are you? Help me I...
Barcode seeing the tears on Jeff's face, seeing Jeff going into panic attacks, hearing him call so drastically for the young man from the past and squirming for breath, he immediately hugs him, Jeff widens his eyes when he is hugged so suddenly.
Barcode: P'jeff!.... stay calm, I'm here... The elevator is about to move .... Don't worry about anything.... I'll protect you. ..
Jeff remembering:
Memories
Jeff locking himself in a basement, going into panic attacks for being in a closed place with only four walls, remembering the past when he was a child with someone, Jeff stops and widens his eyes when he is hugged quickly by someone.
: Calm down... I'm here... I'll protect you...
Jeff calmed down by the welcoming voice that hugged him, Jeff hugs tightly, slowly putting his hands around this person's back.
Jeff: Gameplay....!
Coming back.
Stopped thinking.
Jeff with his hands still shaking a little, slowly places his hands around Barcode's back, hides his whole face on his shoulder, his long hair covering Barcode's back, slowly begins to kneel with him Barcode feels Jeff's strong embrace, sad not knowing much about Jeff, sad knowing that this man who embraces him is full of shadows from the past, wanting to protect, and finding the answer for Talay as soon as he sees Jeff in this state of panic and pain, wanting to give the best he has to give, suffering too because the pain of the man he is hugging belongs to someone else.
Barcode: that's right, calm down... "Shyyyyy" already passed nothing happened, I'm here.... put your empty hands behind my back, grip tight and don't let go... show me all the scars you hide... if your wings are broken, take mine, I'll help... i'll stand by your side, let me stay by your side... this tears on your face left many marks of pain in your eyes... I know you're hurting but so am I, I'll stay by your side even if we're falling apart... we can find a way to get through what you're going through even if there isn't one .... even if we don't find heaven i'll walk you through hell... you are not alone, you have me, if your emotions are broken, we can face these emotions.... I I'll be your eyes until yours can shine... I'll cry here with you hand in hand and on my knees.... please let me stay by your side...
Jeff listening to these words from Barcode let more tears fall, he tightens his shirt on his back, Barcode's hug are similar to the man he love, the words are a little different but they are very welcoming and warm, it's something he never knew feeling for years, a feeling he had long forgotten.
Jeff stops hugging him, looking down, kneeling in front of Barcode, looks forward, with his eyes red and swollen, looking into the big eyes that at this moment are looking at him with so much love, affection and concern, a little serious.
Jeff: I'm a man trapped in the shadows of the past... You want to suffer by my side even though you know that?!
Barcode seeing that he will suffer alongside this man in front of him, but he's already made up his mind, there's no more turning around, Barcode loves the man with the red eyes, crying for someone else, he gently touches Jeff's face with one hand.
Barcode: Hmm I know!...You are the light, you are the night.... Your eyes show me that I will suffer ... But I already made up my mind... I just saw that you are the color of my blood, you are the cure, you are the pain, you are the only thing i want to touch in this moment.... i didnt know you could be so important to me ... i feel like i have to be by your side ... I'm afraid, you are fear but I don't care because I've never loved anyone as much as I love you ... Let me into your darkness, only you can make my heart love you so much ... I love you.. I'm not asking you to love me back, I'm not asking for anything in return, I just want to be by your side, take care of you... I feel like you need me more than I need you...
Jeff feels something for this young man who has just confessed his love to him, feeling an attraction for Barcode that he can't explain, but he knows that his heart was locked because he never forgot his old love, Jeff knows he won't be able to corresponds to Barcode, but somehow he feels that maybe Barcode can help him, right now Barcode is transmitting a warm feeling something he needs, something he desperately wants, he knows he can find in Barcode, Barcode is different from everyone else who tried to approach him.
Jeff: Are you sure you want to be with me?! Are you sure you want to be by my side?! I have nothing to give you... I can't love again much less feel what you feel for me... I can feel physical attraction for you but that's all, even though you know that, you still want to stay by my side?
Hello guys🤗
It took me a while to post because I didn't want to post yet, because of the problems that are happening inside Boc.
But here is the chapter I hope you liked it.
See you next day, no date set