"Are we going someplace special? Why are you wearing different clothes?" Vex teases. I held my breath because I was deathly afraid she might pass out as she did a few days ago. She was wide awake now and walking normally, but I couldn't stop the anxious feeling from creeping in. She was so fragile as all human lives are. How would I handle liking her if she could break in any second?
"Hey, are you alright?" She asked while touching my forearm. I looked down at her small hand and then up at her face. Her big brown eyes sucked me in first. That's what I liked about her the most.
"Uh yeah, sorry. Come with me," I smiled while taking her hand. I haven't held her hand in a while. I missed how warm she felt. I helped her climb on top of my horse. She fearfully tightened her grip on the horse, and I laughed,
"Are you scared of horses?" I teased, and she shot me a look,
"No, I just haven't ridden one before. Cut me some slack." I climbed on top and gripped the reigns. She wrapped her arms around my waist. I felt my cheeks heat up. I don't think she has ever touched me like this before. I shook my head and slapped the reigns against the horse. How could I get so flustered over something many women have done before?
We took off, and her grip tightened. We weren't going very fast. She shouldn't be nervous. Could humans die from things going too fast? Should I have asked Altho more about humans before I took her out this afternoon? I hate to admit it, but I am a complete novice regarding humans. The closest I've come to them is undressing them. I knew my way around a naked human woman, but anything past that was new territory. Come to think of it, would he even help me? I'm pretty sure he wouldn't give me any advice. He's rooting for Jax to get with Vex.
"So, are you going to tell me where we're going?"
"It's a secret." I joke
"A secret? You make it sound like a date." she laughs. It is a date. I know I messed up my chance when I said that stuff about her, but I still liked her. I wanted to tell her that I regretted everything I said, even though I'm sure she knew. How am I going to earn her forgiveness?
After a few minutes of riding, we arrived. I specifically picked this hilltop because it was filled with poppy flowers, and you could see the sunset perfectly. I hopped off the horse and held my hand out for her to take. She took my hand and hopped down. Once she looked around and saw the picnic I set up for her; her eyes softened just a little. She looked up at me, but I whisked her away to the blanket before she could protest.
"Draci, what is all this?" she questioned
"Just a friend treating his friend to some wine and food." I rushed out, and she eyed me quizzically while sitting down on the blanket with me.
"Oh, just a friend, huh?"
"Yes...here, try this!" I smile while giving her a bite of fancy cheese on a toothpick. I didn't fill the picnic basket myself, so I had no idea what the staff put in the basket. I hope she isn't allergic to anything. Or worse, hate anything in the basket. Should I have packed the basket? She chewed slowly. She hates it! Damnit, those servants don't know anything about filling a picnic basket!
"Is this supposed to be eaten by itself? You know, in my culture, we often had cheese with fruit." She comments while picking a strawberry and taking a bite from it simultaneously. Her eyes widened in shock before shoving the cheese and strawberry into my mouth.
"Try it!" she exclaimed, and I hesitated. This is the same toothpick that she bit off of. It would be like our lips touched. The very thought made my cheeks burn. Would that be alright? Before I could protest, she shoved the food into my mouth. This woman! Wait, this flavor is delicious. I slowly chewed with her and then swallowed.
"Oh my- that was really good!" Perhaps I owe those servants an apology. I pulled out two wine glasses and poured us both a drink. She took a sip from the glass while looking away. Her curly hair was sitting just at her shoulders, meaning she had cut it. She wore a yellow dress that I'm sure didn't cost much at a tailor shop. But she wore it so well that you would assume it was custom-made. The sun began to set, and the orange haze made her brown skin shine. How could someone look so beautiful? I was utterly smitten.
I often found myself staring at her face more than her body. I could analyze every part of her, like her wispy black lashes and soft, plump lips with a hint of pink. In my eyes, she was utterly beautiful, but not just on the outside. I liked everything about her; she always knew what was wrong and how quickly she could call you out on your own shit. Vex was unlike any woman I have ever met, and I wanted her to myself.
"You okay? You seem like you've been worried about something." Vex questions while lowering her glass
"Honestly, I never realized just how fragile humans are. When you passed out, I was so worried I thought my heart would rip out of my chest. Now I'm worried that everything could kill or hurt you." I admit, and she laughed,
"I am not that fragile. You don't have to worry too much about me. I promise I won't fall apart." She smiled while touching my arm lightly.
"You better not, or I'm kicking Annabelle's ass," I joke, and she snorts while drinking from her glass. Wine spilled on her lip, giving her a wine mustache. She lowered her glass again, and I reached over to wipe it for her.
"How unladylike," I teased, and she rolled her eyes. I raised her head by her chin and used my thumb to swipe it away lightly. I looked down at her lips and hesitated. My hand lingered on her chin for a moment before I removed it. I couldn't bring myself even to try to kiss her. My heart was hammering in my chest. Vex looked away,
"Wow, look at that sunset." She pointed out. That was the main reason I bought you, I wanted to admit, but I lacked the courage. What is the matter with me? If I keep hesitating, Jax may sweep her off her feet. After a few minutes of psyching myself up, I finally decided just to be open with her,
"Vex, I-"
"Draci, can I say something?" She turned back to face me.
"Oh, of course."
"You know, when I was completely exhausted these past few days, I spent a lot of time with my thoughts. I realized I never really got to talk to you about how I felt about the whole dining room situation." Oh no. I didn't want to talk about this persay. Even though I had a feeling, we would have this conversation eventually. She ended our courtship but didn't express how she felt about it at all. If I wanted our relationship to progress, I would have to face what I have done.
"When I heard how you spoke about me like I was an object. Or something to hold over your brother as if I was his possession. It pissed me off. But I realized that many things you said weren't directed towards me. We both agreed on that. But it made me wonder if someone has ever made you feel like an object. Is that why you were so quick to call what we had just some pursuit for ass?" She questioned.
Me? Why would anyone treat me like an object? I'm Draci, the second son of the King. No one would dare treat me like a measly object. Sebrina flashed into my mind briefly, and it pissed me off.
"Why would anyone treat me like an object? I'm a prince." I replied confidently, but I could tell by the way she looked at me she didn't believe me.
"Don't look at me like that. I did say some stupid stuff back then, but it wasn't because I was talking about myself." I grumbled while standing up.
"So you do view me as an object?" she asks angrily. I ran my hands through my hair. That's not what I'm trying to say. What kind of man would admit to feeling like that? Real men don't get used; they use others. That's what a man of royal status does.
"What! No. Why do you always have to find the deeper meaning of things? What I said was wrong, and it wasn't how I felt about you at all. Isn't that enough?" I question. Why can't that be sufficient enough?
"No! It's not enough. You don't know how humiliating it felt hearing that stuff come out of your mouth. What did I do to deserve to be treated so shitty?"
"Nothing, I just...I never meant to hurt you, Vex. You have to believe me." I reply while looking down at her. The more I replied, the more it seemed to upset her. Everything I'm saying is only making it worse. How can I fix this? If things continue like this, I won't stand a chance.
"Why did you talk about me as if my value was solely based on how well I fuck you?!" She yelled while looking up at me.
Her gaze that once felt warm now felt cold. I was responsible for my words and the weight that they carried. There was no way I could begin to repair what I had broken with just my feelings alone. She deserved the truth. Why did I say that about Vex? I was angry but not at her particularly. I wanted to hurt my brother. I wanted him to stop trying so hard to go after you. He should've given up on you, but he looked at me the same way you are now. Second chance? I must be an idiot. I sat down without saying anything. Her cold gaze was still staring at me.
"I wanted to seem in control. I wanted it to seem like I had you solely to myself so that my brother would stop caring about you so much. I just wanted him to back off...I know it's not a good reason or even a worthy reason. But I'm sorry if I made it seem like I view you so little. Honestly, I'm new to this whole thing."
"New to what? Treating people with respect?"
"My entire life, I didn't have to respect anyone, and everything was given to me. Whether it was women or money, I could have it solely because of who I was and how I looked. So that's how I approach everything. Anything or anyone I wanted would come to me. But then you show up. A woman who was immune to my charms and status. A woman who changed my brother almost overnight. But you are a human. How can a human be so captivating?"
"I was intrigued. I never batted an eye at a human unless it was temporary. But the more and more I entangled myself in you, the more I lost control. I hadn't had sex with you, yet I couldn't stay away from you. I couldn't break things off because the very idea pained me. I couldn't sleep with someone else because I constantly thought of you. It was like a sickness."
"How could someone I barely know plague my mind so much? How could I lose control so fast of the situation? What started as just a simple curiosity blossomed into something else that I had no handle on. So when Jax confronted me about you, I snapped at him. I was angry at him but angrier at myself. I took out my complex feelings towards you on him because everything was so brand new and different that it drove me crazy. Jax dismissed the way I felt to validate his own feelings, and it scared me. I felt he would ruin everything if I didn't stake my claim right then and there. Even though I know you don't belong to me."
I couldn't stop talking. It was like the words flowed out of my mouth like vomit. All my emotions were oozing out, and I felt so stupid and exposed. She'll probably look at me as less than a man now. This isn't like me. I couldn't look at her.
"Draci-"
"You don't have to say anything. I know I ruined everything, and you hate me so-" It felt like sand was running down my throat. This is why I should stick to what I'm good at—screwing them and leaving before any feelings develop. What I'm feeling isn't nice or fun. Liking someone is like a curse, and I want to free myself from it. I felt a hand grip my own. I stared at her hand as if it would disappear if I blinked.
"I don't hate you. I never hated you. But I do appreciate you telling me how you feel and your apology. I know this must not be easy for you." I insult her, and she tells me it's not easy for me. How pathetic I must sound. I felt that familiar feeling creeps into my chest.
"I kind of wish we had slept together. At least that way, you would've liked me better." I joke while looking at her finally. The hardness in her eyes had vanished. She raised her eyebrows,
"Why do you say that?"
"That's the best thing I have going for me," I joke while rubbing the back of my neck. I remember Sebrina said that to me. At first, it took me by surprise but now, when I repeat it to other women, they just laugh. It's like they all silently agree. I waited to hear her chuckle, but she didn't. Was she still mad at me? She looked downright offended. Did I say the wrong thing again?
"Draci, you know you're more than that, right?" she questioned.
"Uh, of course. I was just kidding." I rush while shoving her lightly. Her look softens before grabbing the wine bottle.
"Well, since we're in a forgiving mood. I want a gift,"
"Really?" What could she possibly want? She didn't like expensive dresses, jewelry, or perfume. What other things could I buy?
"I want a real drink. Let's go to a tarvan. Buy me a drink?" she bargained while standing up. She held her hand out for me to take. I took it while standing up.
"Oh well, that I can do. I know the perfect place." I smile while taking her hand and rushing down the hilltop. She drank from the wine bottle as we sped down and passed it to me. I drank some with her. I glanced over at her. Her cheeks were a bit rosy from the wine as she laughed. We reached the bottom of the hill and walked to the nearby tavern. She was swaying a little like she was tipsy. The barkeep noticed me immediately,
"Your highness! Oh, if we had known about your arrival, we would've ensured the good booze was brought up." The barkeep rushed out as he escorted some men out of the bar. The men protested, and I pulled Vex by her waist closer towards me to avoid them. They were stumbling all over the place and almost bumped into her. I let go quickly. I didn't want her to think I was making a move on her. She hadn't seemed to notice as she went to take a seat at the bar. I sat next to her and ordered two drinks. Within a few minutes, the barkeep brought two jugs of booze back. We grabbed the pints,
"A toast!" she chanted.
"Okay, a toast to what?" I asked as I looked at her. She was a bubbly drunk. It was adorable.
"Here's to treating everyone with respect." she teased, and I scoffed with smiling.
"To respect." She chugged the pint, and I watched in amazement. Where did this woman learn to drink like this? I could chug a few of these before I get tipsy, but a human, on the other hand, could only handle two tops. She placed her empty pint down and wiped her mouth.
"Another." she requested.
"Uh, are you sure you should get another?" I worried. She shoved me lightly,
"Humans drink a lot more than you think. I'll be fine."
"Okay," I reply while chugging my own.
Vex chugged about three pints before she was completely drunk. I had a few myself and felt a little tipsy but not as bad as her. I stared into my fourth drink and looked over at her slowly. She was staring into space before looking at me and smiling.
"You are so beautiful," I mumble while reaching over and lightly grazing my finger on her cheek. She laughed and leaned closer towards me.
"You only dare to tell me this because your drunk."
"I could say it sober," I argue
"Oh yeah, then why don't you?"
"If I say it, you would think I was just playing around."
"Do you still have feelings for me, Draci?" She questions. Before I could answer, she grabbed my hand and pulled me to the middle of the bar.
"Let's dance,"
"But there's no music."
"So, use the music in your mind." She smiled before laying against my chest. I took her hand and slowly danced with her. Holding her hand and having her so close to me instantly started sobering me up. Even though I have countless woman dance with me, I felt insanely nervous. She hummed a tune I hadn't heard before as we swayed to the beat of her song. I want more moments like this without her being intoxicated. She looked up at me,
"Draci," I looked down at her and froze. She made me nervous, and it confused me. As many women as I have courted, why does such a small thing like her make me afraid? What could I possibly be scared of?
"Hmm?"
"You have a lot more than just sex to offer. You're really sweet when you want to be. You're also compassionate, and even though you pretend not to care about people, you really do care. Anyone who truly got to know you could see that. Don't let anyone say that awful thing to you again." she replied before laying her head on my stomach. It is an awful thing to say to someone, huh?
-
I remember the first time I saw you, Sebrina. You were standing all by yourself in the corner of the ballroom. Your light brown hair was pulled into a high bun, and you looked shy. I walked to Jax to see if he was the one who invited this girl here. I nudged his arm, and he turned to look over at me,
"Wassup?"
"That girl over there, did you invite her?" I pointed over at her. She was cute. I saw my little brother smirk and then look up at me.
"No, but I'm tempted to go over there." he joked.
"Yeah, don't even think about it. I saw her first."
"You know having the same taste in women will get us in trouble someday." He laughed before turning back to the liquor table. I went over to the girl. She had a small frame and was a bit shorter than I thought. I bowed and looked up at her. She looked surprised,
"Would you care to dance with me?" She blushed while taking my hand. We swayed to the light orchestra music.
"Is this your first ball?"
"Is it that obvious" she whispered, and I chuckled,
"Just a little. I'm Draci, by the way. What's yours?"
"Sebrina. My father is a ruler in the Tallic district." Before I could reply to her, I felt her heels stomp on my feet. I winched but decided not to say anything. It was her first ball, after all. But when she did it three more times, I pulled us apart,
"Don't tell me this is your first ballroom dance too?" I questioned, and her cheeks flushed once more.
"I'm so sorry. I tried to do it as the teacher taught me. I feel so embarrassed." she rushed out, and I couldn't help but smile. She was just adorable. I patted her head, and she looked up at me,
"It's okay, but you're supposed to step a few feet back, so you don't step on your partner's feet. Let me show you," I replied, and her nerves eased away as we practiced together. I spent so much time dancing with her that I hadn't noticed the party crowd diminishing. Sebrina separated from me,
"Oh man, I got to find my dad. It was really nice dancing with you. Thanks for teaching me!" She smiled before rushing off to look for her dad. I looked down at my hand that yearned to be in hers again. I hope we can meet again.
The very next morning, I asked my mother for permission to see you again. Despite her confusion, she agreed. After a few dates, I asked to court you properly, however,
"I don't think I can." Sebrina hesitates. I lowered the flowers I had brought her,
"Why?"
"Well, If I start courting you, my father will take it as a marriage proposal. My father is hell-bent on marrying me off. I still want to see you, Draci."
"Maybe I could talk to him...or my mom could talk to him. She could let him know that we just want to date each other. Would that be better?"
"Really?! You'd do that for me?"
"Of course, I would." I smiled, and she hugged me. Little had I known that her father wanted her married off so badly to pay off debts. He wanted her given to the highest bidder. My mother spoke with her father and allowed us to date. I thought that would be the end of the favors, but Sebrina always needed more.
"Draci, are you happy with me?"
"Of course I am. Why would you think I wasn't?"
"Because I'm practically beneath you. You're the prince of the North, and I'm just some lord's daughter."
"Well, that stuff doesn't matter to me."
"If only my status were raised more. Suppose my father owed more land or something. Then my status would be higher for you. Wouldn't that be better?"
Slowly all her needs somehow were things meant for me. In order to have the perfect girlfriend, I had to raise her status, buy her expensive items and persuade her father. All of these things would make her happy and stay with me, so I did them.
I never thought I was being played. Isn't this how everyone shows love to their girlfriend? As long as she was happy, I was pleased. I introduced her to close friends and brought her to parties to show off how in love I was.
"That woman isn't good for you." My mother announced at the dinner table one night
"What are you talking about?"
"I know the only reason you took the castle finance job was to funnel money to that lord. Is that what she's telling you to do?"
"Sebrina is not telling me to funnel money to her father. I'm just raising their status a little. It's not a big deal."
"Since when are you someone's cash cow?" Altho questioned
"I'm not. I'm supporting my girlfriend. Something you don't have, and it's none of your business." I argue
"Stop giving them money. Or I'm firing you." My mother replied. How could she tell me what to do with my own money?! How was that fair?
"It's my money?!" I yelled, which startled some of my siblings. I couldn't disappoint Sebrina. My mother looked up at me from her wine glass,
"Stop being so stupid. Even a blind could see that that girl is using you. Don't embarrass yourself any longer. Cut the money and the relationship off."
"I don't have to listen to this. I love Sebrina." I argue as I storm out of the dining hall. Why did her words cause me to panic a little? Sebrina wouldn't use me. She loved me. We loved one another, so why am I second-guessing my decisions? What did my mother know anyway? What did any of them know?! Sebrina was there for me when dad died and was my shoulder to cry on. There's no way she would use me like an object. I felt a hand grab my shoulder and turned around to find Jax,
"Mom doesn't know what she's talking about. You're not stupid. I could deliver the money to them in your place, so she doesn't harp on you." I sighed and ruffled my little brother's hair. He was always so quick to help out even if he would face moms wrath. He shook off my hand,
"Hey!"
"Thanks, little dude,"
"Excuse me. I'm not that younger than you." He protested before heading back to the hall. I decided to visit Sebrina myself. The moment I see her, I know I will feel better. She's the only one that knows me. I slipped out of the castle and headed over to her castle. I snuck around back and headed through the garden.
I should surprise her by her window like in the plays. I heard the sound of kissing and slowed down. Geez, were her servants sneaking into the garden to play around? Actually, that sounds kind of romantic. I tip-toed to try and avoid running into them, but something in my gut felt off. I heard them panting and knew they were probably having sex. I should really get to her window, or else,
"I've missed you," a familiar voice whispered. I halted and turned slowly towards the noises. I know that voice. I felt a lump grow in the back of my throat as I eased closer and closer. Their moans grew louder in my eardrums, along with that familiar voice. I pried the bushes apart and saw them.
Sebrina was entangled in another man's arms. Is this truly happening? Am I dreaming right now? I couldn't move or even speak. They didn't notice me at first until Sebrina's eyes locked on to mine, and she pried the man off. The man looked stunned before he looked up at me.
"Draci! What are you doing here?" She rushed out as she covered her exposed chest with his shirt. What was I doing here? What was she doing here with another man?!
"It's not what it looks like." Another familiar voice confesses. I finally pry my eyes off Sebrina to see that the man was not just a stranger but Matt, one of my closest friends. The next thing I knew, I snapped.
"Draci! Draci stop! Get off of him!" Sebrina screamed. I felt myself coming back to my senses since I blacked out in a fit of rage. I looked down at my bloody friend's face as my thick hands gripped his neck so hard my knuckles were turning white. Sebrina pushed and slapped my biceps in distraught.
Why was she so worried about him? What about me? What about the man who gave your father a massive boost in status?! The man who bought you any and everything you asked for?! I was your first! Was that all a lie? Did it not matter? Do I not matter? I let go of him and got off him. He coughed and hacked,
"What the hell were you doing with him?!" I screamed at her. She went to his side and rubbed his back. It was like I didn't exist. This couldn't be happening. Say you made a horrible mistake. Say your Sebrina's twin sister or something!
"Sebrina! Didn't you hear me!"
"I was sleeping with him, Draci! Is that what you want to hear?" She answered coldly. There wasn't a hint of regret in those words.
"Why...how could you do this to me?!"
"God, get over yourself. I tried to deny it but the moment I met him I fell in love with him. We talk and connect a lot better than you, and I do. I'm sorry." She apologized, but it felt fake. It felt like she just threw it out there as a courtesy.
"I can't believe this. I raised your status! I paid for half the shit you wear? He was my best friend!" The more and more I yelled, the more my heart squeezed in my chest. She was the first person I let in. I cried in front of her over my dad sudden death. I was there for her when her mom got sick. How could she treat me so coldly? Her back remained turned to me as she dotted on Matt. He hadn't regained consciousness.
"He's more of a man than you, Draci, and honestly, he has much more to offer."
"What does that mean?"
"Don't make me spell it out for you."
"I've been nothing but faithful and providing for you."
"I had to ask for that stuff. Matt does it for me without even asking like a real man. And he's not shackled to his mother like you are. You have to ask her to be with me practically, and you're supposed to be a prince? Look, I need a real man. You are only good for sex and a fun time, nothing serious. I realized this, and I'm glad I did before I was forced to marry you. You have no good qualities, Draci. Just leave already. I have to make sure he's okay." Sebrina dismissed as she checked his neck once more.
I have no good qualities? Wasn't I man enough for her? What more could I have done to be more of a man for her? I'm not shackled to my mother; she doesn't control my life. I control my life! Everyone was right. I was stupid. I let Sebrina play me because I assumed that we were in love. Love is the problem. I can never show anyone that kind of love again. I returned home in a daze to find Jax in my room. He jumped when I entered the room,
"Oh shit, you scared me. I just came to borrow some-"
"Jax, have you ever been to Rania?" I question while staring off into the distance
"Uh no," he replied questionably
"Let's pack a bag and go on a trip."
-
I gripped Vex's waist as I held her tightly in a hug. I never want to think about Sebrina again. Not as long as I am next to you. Vex didn't pull away from my embrace. I heard light snoring and chuckled as I rested my head near her neck,
"Thanks for getting to know me," I whispered to her. She didn't respond. I decided we should both head home since it was pitch black outside, and she passed out on me. I picked her up bridal style and slid her into the booth. I pulled out my pouch and walked over to the barkeep,
"This should cover all our drinks." I passed the barkeep a couple of gold coins which he happily accepted. I returned to the booth to see Vex slumped over, snoring like a newborn. I laughed while tossing her over my back. She rested her body against me. I walked out of the bar into the cool night. She reminded me of my little sister. I gripped her legs to make sure she didn't fall over. Touching her bare skin made me feel anxious all over again.
"You know...I had a lot of fun." Vex replied into my shoulder. I jumped a little at her sudden outburst. I thought she was sleeping.
"I did, too," I reply as she sighs in contentment.
"Vex," I called but was met with silence. She must be out for real this time. I continued to walk in silence towards the castle. I'll have to get the stable boys to get my horse back from that hill. Beggars or someone would probably pick up the picnic basket, so I wasn't too concerned about it. I looked up at the night sky,
"I like you a lot Vex. But I don't want to be selfish and make the same mistake again. I hope...I hope you feel the same way I do one day." I confess. I know she's knocked out, but it felt so good to say it to her. I looked up at the sky one last time while smiling.
"You just have no idea."