I cannot describe to you what has been going on with me. Every single day has felt the same, and nothing seems to excite me anymore. I am living off of synthetic happiness, something only alcohol seems to bring to me. It sucks, it really does. I know it's not good for me, but I continue to drink. It seems to be the only thing that makes me happy now. I lost my super best friend, and my other friends too. I can't seem to tell if it's because of the way I have behaved lately, or simply because they have grown bored of me. The hangovers I have been having, the pain I feel in my stomach from throwing up nearly every and all morning has become exhausting. I don't want to leave my bed ever again. This nauseating feeling seems to always be there, even if I don't drink for a few days. I can't help but to feel my emotions are making me feel this way, too. I miss Kyle like hell, but he and I haven't talked in what feels like forever. I messed up, and he seems to want nothing to do with me anymore. It's all because this new 'entertainment' that my friends are finding is shit. All of it, it's literally shit! The music is terrible, how could they stand to listen to it? The shows that they are watching, it's all the same! What the hell makes shit interesting? Maybe I'm the odd one who doesn't find enjoyment within this new trend. I've tried to visit the things I used to enjoy as well, but it all feels the same. Nothing makes me happy anymore, expect for alcohol. But I don't think I can hide it from my parents for much longer anymore, and my sister, too. Somebody's going to catch on eventually. I... I miss my buddy. It's going to be painful, but I need to try to get in contact with Kyle again. The worst thing that could happen is that he wants to cut me off completely, and I don't blame him if he does.
I felt saw a notification on my phone, but it's probably nothing important. I picked it up only to see...
"Hey dude, I know it's been awhile but my parents went out of town and I have to stay home to watch Ike. They said I could invite a friend over for company. I chose you, Stan. Would you like to come over?"
My heart about skipped a beat. Kyle invited me of all people to come over? The last time I saw him...
''Things have changed around here. Sometimes the only way to keep going is to make a left turn.''
Is what he told me. I flipped him off and cursed at him... It wasn't the best decision, but I had to let him know that I meant it.
The last thing I ever said to him, was well...
''Kyle, I love you.''