For your eyes' ransom, all the heart has found and yet will find I shall give.
— Al Mutanabbi
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Him
"A messenger has brought you news, my Ameer," someone informs him.
He's training his men at the barracks and has a long lists of things to do afterwards. So he motions for the man that he cannot see anyone at the moment.
"Send the messenger to Zahir. He'll forward his message to me."
The man tips his head and leaves. But it's not long that he appears before him again.
"My Ameer, the messenger insists on seeing you. He says the message is private and he will deliver it only to you."
"Bring him to me then."
A while later a man in a plain tunic and a worn out cloak is presented to him. He has his hands tied in front of him and his eyes down respectfully. Adam steps aside from the company of others to hear out this man in privacy.
"Tell me, what is the message that you must only deliver to me and no one else?"
"I've come from Anbar, sayidi. I've brought you an important letter, and a ring which you might recognize."
"Is it so?"
The man pulls out a scroll and a ring and holds them out to him. But the moment his eyes fall on the ring, the ground is no more beneath his feet. He feels as if the world has collapsed. He feels as if the sky is no more. He cannot blink-- cannot stop staring. He cannot reach out to take it from him for his hands are suddenly trembling. He doesn't know if it's reality or a delusion. Or maybe another deceiving dream.
"I've brought you news of Halah bint Al Malik, sayidi."
Her
Some days in life are a stroke upon stroke of a beautiful painting until the painting is stripped and never completed. And who is to know besides the artist what magnificence it could've held had it not been ruined. One can only wish not to have stumbled upon it.
It's an ordinary day. She's done training with Azar and he's collecting their things. They've finished earlier today than usual. Lately she has been lacking both energy and will and she blames it upon her disturbed schedule, with Adam returning late each night and her worries for him growing each day.
Roya stands with her, unusually quiet today, and Noura makes a note to address it once they're at their chamber. She has been distant and lost and something tells her there's a reason behind her handmaiden's state.
Azar brings their things and they makes their way towards the palace. The sun is gliding down and it's light is dwindling but still bright. The sky is cloudless today and if it remains so, the night might be full of stars. She wonders if she can eat on the balcony tonight with her husband. It'll be a beautiful sight.
"Azar?" Noura calls her guard, getting his attention as she recalls a matter to discuss.
"Yes, khanum?"
"Did Eskander speak to you after the incidence with syed Daryush?"
She catches a glimpse of him ducking his neck.
"Yes, khanum."
"What did he say?"
"That I should tell him if I'm a troublemaker or a guard so he can find me a more suitable job."
Noura resists rolling her eyes. "You could've told him you're guard to a troublemaker, so if he could replace me to ease your job."
Azar only smiles and lowers his eyes. "You'll not see me complaining, khanum. And I cannot say that to the general. But he did ask me to inform him of any precarious activities of yours in the future."
"Will you?"
"I'm a servant to him, Noura khanum. I'd rather not be in a position to take sides between you and him."
Noura doesn't push the conversation any further. She doesn't need an answer from Azar, or to press him to tell her if a situation arises, whose side will he stand on. He may be serving her, but that too under Eskander's command. She already knows which side he will choose. And she would rather not test her luck by relying on him too much.
As she crosses in front of the harem towards her chamber, someone calls her name from behind her.
"Noura Al Makhzum!"
Noura halts in her way and turns around. She sees Maysoon bint Khalid walking towards her, followed by two of her handmaidens and a guard. There's a storm in the princess's eyes, and something tells her she knows why. Noura calmly meets her glare as she approaches her.
"Amira." She smiles in greeting, both ironic and ingenious. "I wonder what makes you seek me out today. I thought you were avoiding me like a plague since I arrived at the palace."
"But that you are, Noura, a plague infecting everyone," Maysoon lashes, her voice low but angry. "You think you can charm my brother and trick him?"
She drops her smile but not the sarcasm. "I think me hitting you with a candlestick the last time did your head some damage."
Maysoon scoffs in disdain. "So you deny seeing him privately in the courtroom?"
"Are you upset about me seeing him, or are you upset about the reason I saw him for?" Noura mocks. "For I think it gives you yet another wounds to have your scheme failed. Is it not, Amira? Is one rejection not enough that you must scar your ego?"
"Watch your tongue!" Maysoon snaps, and Noura notices girls from the harem crowding at its doors as their argument escalates. "Not everyone can be your puppet like Adam. Not everyone will dance at your fingertips. Especially not Sulaiman. So don't try to drag him in where it benefits you."
This flares her fury and Noura feels her composure cracking, one word away from unleashing her wrath for all Maysoon has ever done to her, and what she accuses her for. But somehow she manages to keep herself collected and not lose it, given the place and situation they're in.
"You think Adam has ever been my puppet?" Noura let out a humorless chuckle. "Why, have you forgotten how it was everyone dancing on his fingertips, not mine? Didn't you feel like a puppet yourself when you learnt the truth of Al Shafay? A man like him can only be a master, Amira, not a puppet. And as for your brother, he's no child unless you see him as one. I can manipulate him no more than you."
"So why ever meet him in secret?" she bites back, and Noura knows she's not only referring to their recent meeting but each meeting that came before it in the past. Her dignity takes a blow at this.
"Nothing like why you would meet someone in secret," she seethes, knowing her words are going to stab Maysoon deeper than her daggers. "Leave him alone," she grits, not needing to mention Eskander's name for her to understand. "He's much happier without you."
She watches the colors change on the princess's face. Her jaw falls open slightly and hell breaks loose in her eyes-- maddeningly ablaze. She raises a hand at her and for a moment, Noura thinks she might hit her. But the slap Maysoon intends never comes. Someone grips her wrist before she can move another inch.
Her eyes jump from Maysoon to the person who has decided to take part in their drama only to find its Arwa.
"Petty of you, Maysoon. But expected of you. You've never lived up to your status," Arwa taunts impassively.
Maysoon jerks her arm free of her and sends her a death glares. "You witch, am I to learn from you how to act? You're not the queen of this palace anymore, so don't act like one."
"I don't need my husband to be a caliph to act like a queen," Arwa replies, unbothered by the fuming princess before her. "You, however, can never be one."
"And you're to decide that?!"
"No, but your brother is. So unless you marry a traitor who overthrows him and takes the throne, you should rather practice to be a proper princess." Arwa smiles, appearing savage and cunning, gesturing at Noura. "Or if Adam reclaims the throne, in which case Noura becomes a queen, you better watch who you meddle with. The palace will no longer be a home to you, and a dungeon might not be to your fancy. Then such a pity it will be."
Maysoon grinds her teeth, looking as if ready to strangle Arwa, but Arwa ignores her and walks past her, subtly linking her elbow with Noura and taking her along with her.
"Find something useful to do," Arwa calls out to the girls still gathered at the harem entrance for the show. "Gossiping will not earn you the caliph's favor."
The girls quickly scatter and Arwa unlinks their arms, glancing briefly at Noura before fixing her gaze up ahead.
"When you throw someone in the fire, azizati, you don't always have to stay to watch them burn. Ashes are no good to you, and your time and honor are precious."
Noura let her words sink in and nods slowly. "Thank you."
"What for?"
"I don't know," she mumbles. "For standing up for me?"
"You don't need me to stand up for you. You've been standing fine on your own so long."
Arwa stops walking and turns to her. Noura does so too. She gives her a faint smile.
"My brother has loved you crazy, Noura. And I admit, many times I found his obsession reckless and opposed to it. But I'm glad you've found happiness with each other." Her lips straighten in a line and her tone turns serious. "For as long as you stand with him, you'll find a sister in me. But if you ever turn your back on him, you'll have no enemy greater than me. The world has hurt him enough, I'll not allow another person to hurt him."
Noura smiles and glances away, not finding a reason to object to her.
"If he has loved me crazy, Amira, I've loved him crazier. Don't you think?"
The smile on Arwa's face returns and and she lightly touches her arm. "Would you like to join me for tea?"
"I would love to, but I just had my training with my guard. I'd like to freshen up and rest a bit. Unfortunately I don't feel my best today," she declines politely.
"Another time then," Arwa replies. "But you do look a little pale to me. Do you feel unwell?"
"Just a little tired lately. Nothing to worry about."
Arwa's gaze drops from her face to her abdomen and lingers there a second longer before finding her eyes again. She gives her a questioning look and Noura blinks in confusion. It takes her a moment to realize what the princess is indicating.
"No, no," Noura quickly shakes her head. "I don't think so."
"Best to see a physician."
"I'm not... I'm fine," she refuses, suddenly thrown off guard by the implication. "I don't think I should see a physician."
Arwa gives her a puzzled look. "You speak as if it's a bad thing."
If she was feeling tired before, now she feels sick. The thought of what might be unsettles her. She's not ready to accept it. And she's afraid neither will be her husband if it turns out to be true.
"Adam wouldn't like it," Noura rasps, feeling out of breath.
Arwa frowns "Why not?"
"He doesn't want children. Not yet."
"Then he should have kept his hands off you."
She blushes furiously at the remark, but Arwa seems oblivious to it.
"He's no God, and if God wills it, it will be."
Noura swallows painfully and closes her eyes. "I hope it's nothing."
Arwa steps closer and rubs her arm. "See a physician," she repeats.
She doesn't know how she goes through the rest of the day. She takes a bath and locks herself in her chamber, pushing the thought of seeing a physician as far away as possible. Ignorance this once can be bliss for her. She doesn't even want to consider the possibility, especially not in such dire times when she sees little and little of her husband with each passing day and where he might be far from entertaining the idea of it.
There's a knock at the door. Noura grants them permission to come in. Roya walks inside and comes to stand by the bed where she lying under a blanket.
"Noura khanum, should I lay the table for dinner or will you wait for shahzade Adam?" she asks.
"I'm not hungry, Roya. Serve dinner to Adam when he returns."
"Should I get something else for you?"
"No, thank you."
"Are you alright, khanum?"
She turns towards Roya and finds her nervously fidgeting with her fingers. Noura pushes herself up against the pillows and sits up.
"I'm fine, but what is the matter with you, Roya?" She studies her handmaiden keenly for a reaction. "I've noticed that you haven't been quite yourself recently."
Roya's gaze tumbles around for a while before she finally looks at her. "I... I have to tell you something. I wanted to tell you before, but I didn't know how to."
Noura knits her brows. "What is it?"
"It's about the shahzade, khanum," she says, and Noura knows whatever she's about to learn will only turn her day more difficult.
"What about Adam?"
"The night you went to see syed Daryush, I saw a woman in your chamber with him," she informs her, and all the blood already goes rushing to her head. "Shahzade was on the chair and she was leaning over him. Her back was to me so I couldn't see her properly, but I think she was Tamara."
"Tamara?" Her eyes widen and she feels a vessel in her temple throb.
Roya nods. "I left because I didn't want to be caught spying. But you asked me to be your eyes and your ears, khanum, so I couldn't ignore it. I just didn't mention it to you because I was unsure of the women's identity with shahzade that night. Although..."
"Although what, Roya?"
Noura kicks aside the blanket and steps down the bed. If she was ever tired, it's long forgotten. Now she's buzzing with untamed rage.
Roya takes a step back, as if seeing blood in her eyes, and gulps anxiously.
"Although two nights ago I saw shahzade Adam in the corridor with a woman again. It was in the middle of the night. But I saw her face this time, khanum. It was Tamara," she confesses. "Not that I doubt your husband, it's not my place, but I had to tell you what I saw. I thought it necessary for you to know, and especially to be wary of Tamara."
Noura clenches her jaw, her head hurting as the pain radiates upward. Suddenly she's sweating. Maybe her blood is boiling. And she's unable to utter another word to Roya.
Now it makes sense to her-- why Adam dismissed Tamara from her service without ever giving her a reason. That too on the night she met Daryush. It is only an affirmation to what Roya has told her. But what pierces her heart is why Adam kept it from her. And why he saw her handmaiden at midnight in secret.
She dismisses Roya but this time doesn't curl in the blankets in misery. Going out on the balcony, she sits there under the open sky and stares out at its vastness. True to her assumption, it's lit by the constellations of stars. Very unlike her constricted and darkened chest. She feels a hollowness inside her.
Minutes upon minutes add to one another until hours have passed. At last she hears the chamber doors upon, announcing her husband's arrival. By now she has gone stiff sitting out on the balcony in the cold.
She hears him approaching her but Noura doesn't go to greet him as usual. Few seconds later she feels his presence behind her. He leans down to kiss her on the neck.
"Hayati," he breathes, and she can hear the exhaustion in his voice.
Noura turns her head to face him, and just like his voice, he appears worn out and drowsy. Yet despite his state, he gives her a tired smile.
"You're cold," he comments, and she doesn't know if he's referring to her body or attitude.
"And you're spent," she retorts, and he chuckles lightly before kissing her neck again.
"Did you eat?" he asks.
"You keep coming later and later each night," she points out instead, unable to keep the irritation out of her tone and gingerly pulls away from him.
"I've told you, there's a lot to do," he replies.
"Things that I know nothing of, neither do you bother to tell me."
Adam pauses, searching her face, and she turns away from him. He comes to sit beside her on the divan.
"Are you upset with me?" He cups her cheek but she refuses to look at him. "I'll try to come early tomorrow. We can go to race horses if you like."
"I don't want to race horses." Especially not if what Arwa suspected is right. She feels lightheaded and uneasy at the thought.
"I can take you to the bazar," Adam suggests. "Or anywhere else you wishes to go to."
Noura flares her nostrils at him in frustration. "Don't you have something to tell me first?"
He tilts his head, silent, but his thumb continues to stroke her cheek, distracting her. Though she cannot pull away from his touch.
"Ask if there's something which bothers you, Noura. Let's not play any games."
She inhales deeply and purses her lips, taking a moment to gather her thoughts before laying out the question for him.
"Why did you dismiss Tamara from my service, Adam?"
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Any guesses on what is coming up next?
Here's a hint: add a little spice to this drama.
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