Gender Neutral Reader (might be some pronoun mistakes in here but I'll fix it when I can)
TW: Domestic Abuse
Read at your own risk.
My whole life, my mom has always expected me to be the perfect child she has always wanted. She always wanted me to have the perfect grades, the perfect friends, the perfect appearance, just.. a perfect life in general. But in order to do that, I needed to do this thing perfectly and to never do that. She just had the most impossible expectations for me.
Of course, I hated this lifestyle she put on me. Instead of having a caring mother that everyone should have, I was left with this woman who wanted to control every aspect of my life. It was an absolute nightmare. I was never allowed to do anything fun or to hang out with people that I genuinely liked. I was never allowed to make my life different somehow.
Eventually, my life became the same old boring routine. Wake up, eat, go to school, listen in class, study during lunch, listen in class again, go home, study, eat, sleep, and repeat. If I ever tried to protest against her, she would end up saying the same thing she always does. "I have done so much for you. The least you can do is do so much for your own mother as well! Be grateful you even have a roof over your head."
I guess she tried to force this life onto me because she didn't want me to end up on the same road as her. A single high school dropout mother who gets paid $12 an hour for serving people at a shitty restaurant. I guess I sorta feel bad for her. I was a mistake, a baby that wasn't supposed to be born. Guess she saw me as an opportunity to fix her life.
When I got to high school, my mom put even more stress onto me. She forced me to get a job and to work harder on my studies so I could get into college. If I got a mark that was below a 95%, she would force me to work harder and if I didn't, she'd threaten to throw me out of the house. I didn't even know how to take care of myself, so I was always afraid of being abandoned by my own mother.
So, on the day I received a test that was worth a high percentage of my mark, I could've sworn my heart stopped beating for a second. I got 89%. A mark that my mother would not allow. This was the last test that would tick my mother off very much to the point where she would actually kick me outta the house.
I need to ask the teacher to change my mark. If not ask, BEG for a higher mark.
As I walked up to the teacher's desk, I noticed a blonde boy being lectured by the teacher. This blonde boy was none other than Francis, the "trouble-maker" of our class. I've always had a bit of a crush on him. I guess it was because I envied him for being able to have fun without caring about what anyone has to say about it.
Of course I never told anyone about my crush on Francis because I always thought it would just be a phase. Just something I would get over with in no time. Besides, I was never his type. Who would date some kind of nerd like me? Exactly. No one.
I couldn't help but listen in on the conversation. "Listen, you are on the verge of failing. But, I am willing to give you a second chance. If you do well on this quiz, I will consider not failing you." the teacher states. Wow, if it were me, I don't know what I would do.
"Ahem," I interrupt, "May we talk about this test? I don't think I deserve 89%. I worked really hard on this test and feel I need something higher than this."
The teacher sighs and places his chin on the palms of his hands. Me and Francis stood there waiting for him to say something, till popped out of his hands with his finger pointing to an imaginary light bulb above his head.
"I know! (Y/N) can start tutoring Francis so that way, (Y/N)'s mark will go up and Francis has a chance of not failing my class!"
"What?" I exclaim.
"You can't do that!" Francis protests.
"I believe this is all settled. I wish the best of luck for the both of you." The teacher then pushes us out of the classroom.
I was panicking inside. Not only did I have to tutor Francis, but my mom was going to kill me. But, I was desperate and would've done anything to get my mark changed. So, I had no choice but to go along with it. All I had to do was to convince Francis to let me tutor him and to never let mom know about this. I looked at Francis and I could tell he was not happy about this and wouldn't do whatever he's told to. This was going to take a lot of convincing.
"Look, I don't want to do this either but this is a very big advantage for us." I state.
"Okay.. continue."
"Think about it. If you let me tutor you, you have a very high chance at not failing and you won't have to take summer school. But also you get to help someone who is in need. Like a homeless person for example. So please, help me and I'll help you."
"You're homeless?"
I sigh loudly in frustration, "Please. I have never asked anyone for anything in my entire life. So I am begging you to help me."
After a few moments of silence, Francis finally agreed to let me tutor him. I don't know how I managed to convince him, but at least he agreed without arguing further.
The plan was to meet in the library everyday after school. I had to tell my mother that I had started a study group with a couple of "friends" I had met in school. I couldn't tell her about this whole tutoring thing since I didn't want her to find out about my recent test mark.
The next step was to help Francis not fail this class. I just hope it will be easy.
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Needless to say, it was not easy. Francis was a slacker, and so he would show up to our sessions late or left too early, he would procrastinate, and he would always change the topic. But I couldn't just give up that easily. I needed to get my mark higher. So I had to deal with this for a whole week straight.
At the beginning of the week, Francis didn't show up to our meeting this time. Honestly, that was what brought me to the edge. I have given this guy an opportunity to fix his grade and he just doesn't accept it? Not only that, but because of his reckless actions, the teacher will never change my mark!
The next day, I decided to confront Francis. As he was about to leave class, I suddenly stopped him in his tracks. "What the hell?" I yell, "I give you a chance to not fail and you don't take it? I wasted my whole entire week trying to tutor you! What the hell is wrong with you! If you were busy yesterday, you could've told me or gave me a heads up!"
"What are you, my mom? Besides, we know these tutor sessions only benefit you and not me." He tries to go around me to leave but I end up stopping him again.
"Listen here asshole, I am not going to throw my whole life down the drain because some reckless bozo doesn't like it when people tell him to do things he doesn't want to do!"
"You seem stressed, cool off won't you?"
"Fine! I'll do whatever you want since you're such a dick!"
A girl then came up to us. "Yo Francis!" She hands him a piece of paper, "Come to my party tonight, I'm throwing a birthday party for my cat." I take the slip from Francis's hand and read it.
I don't know what came over my mind, but I guess I was so angry that I wasn't thinking straight. I made the offer of letting Francis take me to this party which he happily accepted.
"I'll meet you behind the school at 7 then." He says before finally leaving the classroom.
Well shit. If I thought getting a low mark on a test was bad, then I would've never thought of this one. I had practically invited myself to this random person's party, AND I had to go with Francis.
Maybe he was trying to prove a point. A point that states you can't force people to do things that they're not willing to do. In this case, I'm "forcing" Francis to let me tutor him and now he's forcing me to attend this party.
Well, whatever he was up to, I wasn't going to fall for it. I am going to that party.
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When I arrived at the party, everyone looked at me like I had just landed on earth. Keep in mind, this was a party that only POPULAR kids were invited to. Not nerdy kids like me. Luckily, Francis was right in front of me keeping me safe from everyone around me.
It was embarrassing how I stayed by Francis's side the whole entire night like I was a puppy with separation anxiety. When he tried to introduce me to his friends, I ended up making the whole conversation awkward. I really did not belong here.
I also couldn't help but worry about my mom a lot. I began thinking of all the punishments she would give me if she knew I was at a party and not at a study group like I had told her about for the past week.
But I had a solution! The plan was to get myself drunk or whatever to stop being so nervous, to help me forget all of my troubles! Yeah, it's dumb but can you blame me? I had nothing in mind so I just went with whatever was around me.
I snuck away from Francis for a while and went into the kitchen which was a complete mess. Chips, dishes and alcohol were all over the place. But oddly enough, I needed a drink of alcohol.
I picked up a bottle of beer from the counter and took a large gulp from it. The bitter taste took over my tongue and I nearly spat it out. How do people drink this stuff? It was so gross.
"Woah, are you sure you wanna drink that?" Francis butts in before I could take another sip. I give him a life-threatening glare, warning him not to butt in. He throws his hands up in defeat and walks away as I take another sip.
A couple drinks later, I was really drunk. But not too drunk to the point where I wouldn't remember everything. I went from school loser to the life of the party just from a couple of drinks.
I remember doing karaoke, participating in challenges, drinking, playing truth or dare, talking to people, dancing on tables.. Do you get the point or do I have to keep going? Anyways, I was dancing until I almost threw up on a whole crowd of people. Luckily, I was dragged away by a mysterious person and ended up vomiting in the toilet instead.
I stayed in the bathroom for a while feeling like shit. I was starting to sober up which was good. I stood up off of the ground and took a drink of water to wash away the taste of vomit and alcohol in my mouth. As I was leaving the washroom, I noticed Francis was sitting outside waiting for me.
"Hey.." I mumble awkwardly. I glanced around the room and noticed the party had died down by a lot and mostly everyone had either left or passed out on the floor. I guess while I was drunk, the night faded away without notice.
"Ready to head back?" He asks but I stop him.
"Wait, can we rest first? My feet are killing me." I stumbled towards the pool in the backyard. I sat down on the ledge with the water hugging my feet like a warm blanket. It was so relaxing.
"So.. you have fun tonight?"
"Yeah," I smirk. I've never lived my life before so this was definitely an interesting experience for me. "I had a lot of fun."
We stayed quiet for a while. I guess we were both admiring the view. The pool glowing blue in the night (I glow pink in the night of my rooooom) and specks of stars took over the dark sky up above. I've never seen something so beautiful before in my entire life. I took a quick glance at Francis who was looking up to the sky as well. I've never seen him look so peaceful before.
"You know, my mom would kill me if she knew I was here right now." I quietly confess. He turns to look at me which I took as a sign of interest.
"She never lets me do anything that I wanna do. It's always been 'if you don't listen to me, you will get nowhere far in life'. I have to do everything that lady tells me to do! She just feels like she needs to fix the mistakes she has made in the past by making my life horrible. She's like a total-"
"Control freak."
I looked at France While he just kept his head down staring into the water of the pool. Does he know what I'm talking about?
"My mom is a control freak as well. All she does is make everyone in my family miserable! I don't know what is up with that woman." Knowing someone out there in the world that also has mommy issues made me feel good in a way. Sure it's not a good thing, but it makes me feel.. Not alone.
"Jeez, are control freak moms cloning themselves or something?" I joked but got silence in return.
"How do you deal with your mom? Any tips for me?" I ask.
"Well," he begins, "I usually just do whatever I want without thinking about what she would do. And whatever she does to punish me, I never let her win. That's an important rule." He continued to rant about his family and gave me all the tips he had to offer while I sat there listening to him the entire time.
I told him about the other things my mom has done to me. About all the expectations she had for me, all the stress she threw on me, the guilt she made me feel, etc. I told him things that I would've never told anyone else. I told him and he sat there just listening to me as I listened to him before.
I was on the verge of breaking down just by realizing how much this woman took so many years of my life away just for the sake of her own selfish desires. Francis noticed the change of tone in my voice and took my hand in his to comfort me.
For some odd reason, it actually did work. I smiled at him weakly and he returned the gesture back. All I could feel was butterflies inside my stomach and face heating up. I took a quick glance at his lips, then quickly looked away with my face turning even more red.
But Francis grabbed my chin with his finger and thumb and leaned his face up close to mine, then locked our lips together for a heated kiss. My first kiss ever!
I was the first to pull away because I needed to catch my breath. He was an amazing kisser and I could tell that he had already been with many other girls before me. As for me, I was very sloppy. You can't blame me though because I've never been with another guy before. My mother would kick me out of the house if she found out about this moment.
Huh. My mother..
Shit! My mother! What time is it now?
I got up from my position and checked the nearest clock for the time. 3AM.. She's probably waiting at home for me with an open grave.
Francis caught up to me. "What's wrong?" he questions.
"I really have to go now. Thanks for bringing me here tonight, see you around." I reply as my voice trembles. Before he could say anything else, I started to run back home.
I don't know how I could be so stupid. This whole time I was talking to Francis about mom, I didn't even stop to remember how she had the ability to kick me out of the house once I arrived home. I couldn't even think about how I would get myself out of this mess.
Would I say I crashed at someone else's house during study group? Or should I say I got kidnapped? But whatever I would say to her, it wouldn't matter. Nothing I say matters to her.
As soon as I arrived home, I tried sneaking back in through my bedroom window, but my soul left my body as soon as I saw mom sitting there waiting for my return. There's no way I am getting out of this alive.
I climbed into my window and forced myself to face the witch herself. I swear I peed myself when I saw her face. I've seen her angry face all the time but this, this was on a whole 'nother level.
"Where.. Where the hell have you been?"
Oh shit. I'm so dead.
After seeing the scary look on her face, I began explaining everything to her. There was no use in lying anymore. I told her all about the low mark, the tutor sessions, Francis (excluding our conversation at the pool), and the party. The more and more I spoke, the more her face turned red. Now I've done it.
"Lying and sneaking behind my back?! Is this how I raised you to be? A lying whore? And you do this after everything I have done for you. I work my ass off 10 hours a day while you're over here partying and being a reckless idiot. I give you so much and you do this in return. How could you do this to me? Who even are you?!"
As she barked out that last sentence, she began sobbing and storming out of my room. I stood there and let the tears fall out of my eyes. I couldn't move or do anything. All I could do was just cry and stand there alone with my thoughts.
As I cried, she suddenly made me jump, "That's it!" she shouted, "pack your shit. We are moving out of here!"
"What?"
"I SAID PACK YOUR SHIT!(Yes this is an apple bottom jeans video reference) Clearly, the schools here are being a bad influence on your behavior. We need to move somewhere more.. Professional for your own good."
She threw an empty luggage bag at me and went to her room to pack her things. I didn't have time to think or anything, I just did as she said and started packing my things as well with tears still streaming down my eyes.
A week after that day, I was taken out of school. But I was grounded so I literally could not do anything but read textbooks that she gave to me for entertainment. It wasn't really much of a punishment since I already had to read textbooks anyways. My conversations with my mom became way more awkward than they usually were. It's not really my fault since she would always find a way to lecture me when I tried to start a conversation with her.
Mom quickly sold our house and found a new house in another state in the country (I don't know if that's what you call it because I'm not American but I think it's right). I was surprised at how quickly she managed to do that under such little time. But since it was a new house, that meant we had to move there right away. I'm not gonna lie, I wouldn't miss this shitty town but there was one thing I would be leaving behind.
And that was him.
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When we moved to the new house, I started becoming rebellious. Truth be told, I actually remembered a lot of what Francis told me on that night, and followed his advice.
I managed to find out what mom's weakness was, and that was me. Without me, her plan of having a rich child that provides for her would go down the drain. Throwing me out of the house was never an actual option for her.
After finding that out, I gave myself more freedom. I snuck out of the house at night often to party with some people I had met at the town we moved to. It was pretty awesome because I actually got to live my life by doing things that I wanted to do.
This led to many heated arguments with mom though. She would always catch me sneaking back in the house late at night and end up lecturing me for hours at a time. But no matter how hard she tried to guilt trip me, it simply did not work anymore.
Even though I disobeyed mom a lot, I still tried to get into a good college just like what she wanted. I planned on moving away from her in the future and if that ended up failing, I would go to college and try to get a degree for a good paying job.
But college plans aside, my plan for moving away was simple. All I had to do was get a job, save up money while also giving portions of my paycheck to mom so she wouldn't get suspicious, find a house that I can afford, and when it's finally time, get the hell out of here!
years came by I actually did get into a good college. But, I had also saved enough money to buy a small house for myself in Alaska. So, I did what any sane person would and moved away to Alaska. Sure it wasn't a good place to live in but it was an on-the-spot decision and there was no turning back.
On the day I had to move out, things got really ugly really fast. She found me packing my things in my room and it went from screaming, arguing, to breaking things in the house. Mom threw a glass at the TV, the TV! But that wasn't my problem anymore. I was finally moving out!
She chased me out of the house while I got in my car and finally drove away. I looked in the rear mirror and saw her on her knees and hands screaming at me. I almost felt bad for her but I had to remind myself that I lived 18 years of being controlled and verbally abused by her.
But all of that is in the past now, a past I had finally escaped from. But no more thinking about the past, present or future, I finally had freedom. I finally had the one thing I ever wanted for my whole entire life.
It's now been 3 months since I moved away from mom. I got a job as a cashier at my local grocery store and I got into college and spent most of my time studying. Life has been going smoothly so far. Of course, except for the part where I started having nightmares of my mom.
Yeah, sometimes I would get so paranoid of my mom somehow finding me then burying me alive in the middle of nowhere. I stayed awake at night thinking about her, about how the last time I saw her. Was she alright? Was she in total distress all because of me? Was I the one who made her life miserable now?
One night, I got tired of having these thoughts so I took my car out on a ride. Ever since I got my drivers license, I found driving around was an easy way of getting things off my mind.
After an hour or two of driving, I suddenly heard my stomach growl really loudly. I decided to stop by a restaurant (I honestly have no idea what the whole Alaska plot is so uhh bare with me) nearby to grab a snack or something to fill up my belly.
When I got inside, it didn't really have a pleasant look to it. I decided to not take my chances here and almost walked out the door until I heard a familiar voice call out to me.
"(Y/N)? Is that really you?"
I turned around and saw him. Francis. The man who helped me change my life in a positive way.
I don't know why, but I felt the tears in my eyes about to fall down. I gave him a genuine smile that I have never shown anyone before, ever.
"Holy shit, what are you doing here?"
Luckily, I arrived at the place right after his break time started. We settled down somewhere in the restaurant to catch up on where we had been after all these years.
I start the conversation by asking, "So, what brings you here to Alaska?"
All Francis did was just sigh, "Well, my parents sent me away to military school. When I turned 18, I got myself emancipated and moved here because my buddy Eric told me I could be making 42 dollars an hour. That's just my long story in short form."
I widen my eyes. Wow, that's a lot for a short story.
"For me, I ran away from home a couple months back."
"That's great!" He smiles, "I mean I know how your mom is so that really is a great thing for you. How'd you do it?" I explained the whole thing to him. From the job, saving up money, finding my current home, and moving away.
"But of course, I wouldn't have found the courage to do all of that if it weren't for you." I state. He looked at me with confusion and asked what I meant by that.
"Ever since our conversation at the party, I became brave enough to go against my mom and I wasn't afraid of her as much as I was back then. I mean it when I tell you I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. You actually did help me a lot."
"Are you referring to the time when you asked me to let you tutor you? You're still hanging onto that?" he chuckles while I laugh along.
Our laughter died down for a while until Francis spoke up again, "Why did you suddenly disappear from school?"
"My mom caught me that night I went to that party. She claimed that staying in town was a bad influence for my behaviour and we needed to move someplace else. I wasn't allowed to leave my house for the entire week after that so I couldn't tell anyone."
"If I'm going to be honest with you, I thought I took advantage of you that night." he stops to look at me. At first, my eyes widened, but I gave him a look that gave him the "go" to keep talking.
"It's just.. You left so suddenly when we first kissed. And you just disappeared after you left the party too! I thought you didn't want to kiss me and you weren't as sober as I thought you were. I haven't forgiven myself since then."
I grab his hand. It was dirty since he was working in the kitchen, but it still felt as they did when Francis took my hands into his grasp for the first time ever.
"Hey.. I wanted to kiss you. Truth is, I've had a tiny crush on you way before I started tutoring you. I've always liked you Francis, even though you were an irresponsible idiot back then."
He lets out a breath of relief, "Well, that's nice to know after all this time." I smile at him while he smiles back at me.
"FRANCIS! Get back to work!" An annoying voice that belonged to a scary lady shouted. I frown as he begins to get up from his seat.
"Well, I guess I better head back and you better head back to work." I say as I start walking out the door. But he grabs my hand.
"Wait, do you maybe wanna.. Go out on a date with me sometime this week?"
I grin widely like an idiot. This was definitely the best thing anyone has ever said to me before.
"Sure." I reply, "I'd love to."
(EDITED 1X)
Author's Notes
Yesss i finished this one quicker then i normally would whixh is a big surprise for me ngl
Also Francis is a bit of an OCC here but its ok ill edit this when i feel like it
Im going to bed now goodnight