July 2018
As I open my eyes again, my head and neck hurt, while my back is stiff. The ground around me smells fresh and the air is humid. The sunlight is starting to beam through the branches of the trees in small holes. It's beautiful out here, but freezing.
My face and hands, along with any other parts of exposed skin, are colder than the rest of my body. I feel ill from the chill of sleeping outside. I wish that these kids would either guide me to civilization, or let me sleep in the house, at least for a little while.
Bugs are beginning to swarm me again, as I aggressively start to swat them away. They are ruthless, flying around my face and exposed skin and biting me. Rising to my feet, I start to smack the flies harder with more control. I eventually start to feel them disappearing and I can lower my arms.
I feel my hair, which is crusty from the brown hairspray. All that needs is a rinse and I'll be blonde again. However, I can't take that chance yet, in case I have to go back into the world. My clothes are dirty and I notice my skin breaking out even more than usual, as my finger grazes the little pimple bumps forming on my face. My eye is less swollen, but still hurts when I place my hand on it. Feeling a sudden itchiness, I roll up my sleeves and my leggings, to reveal a chicken pox-like series of red bumps across my body. I scratch my every limb for a few moments, in any attempt to relieve the irritation. These bugs are ruthless.
I'm unhappy with my appearance at the moment, as the group must think I look disgusting. However, there's not much that I can do in these circumstances. Beauty was also not my top priority, outside of these woods.
Suddenly, I look over at the house at the thud that hit. It's Will. He leaves the house, in an old-looking large flannel with his hair slightly messy. He has the same rifle in his hand from yesterday. When he carries it, he looks tough again, like when I first met him. I watch him leave the porch and walk over to the waterfall nearby, paying me no attention. He splashes water on his face and adjusts his hair with the water. Afterwards, he continues on.
Chuck and Alexa leave the house, both of them walking towards me.
"Get up," says Alexa coldly.
"What for?", I ask.
"Well, for someone who wants us to trust her, she's not off to a great start," she scoffs.
"Alright, cool down Alexa," adds Chuck, opening his hands at her. "We're going to be asking you some questions today. We need to know more about you if you're going to be around here."
"Okay," I reply nervously. I'm not used to opening up to people, and yesterday's interactions put me way out of my comfort zone. "Here, these are Will's. He should have them back. I'll be okay without them."
"Thanks," says Chuck, taking them back. "Come on, we'll show you around." I get up, dusting off my leggings, and follow Chuck and Alexa back to the house. As they step up on the porch to enter through their front door, I stop.
"Am I allowed in?", I ask. Alexa looks slightly impatient.
"Yeah, come on in," she replies, annoyed. I step up the porch in silence and enter into the mysterious house for the first time.
It's quite large for a house that's so far out in the middle of nowhere. It has one story, but it seems to be able to comfortably fit five people. There's a small living room with an old couch and a kitchen across the room. There are a few doors that lead to what must be bedrooms. I'm stunned as I gaze around the room. This is incredible. Hayden comes out of one of the rooms.
"Oh, hi," he says as he passes.
"Hi," I reply. I continue to look around, amazed.
"I know it's not much, but it makes do for us," says Evie. She must've misinterpreted my reaction.
"Oh no, not at all. This place is amazing." Evie smiles.
"Yeah, we've been lucky here. Do you want to see the trailer?", she asks.
"There's a trailer?"
"Yeah, it's in the back," says Alexa. "Come on, we'll show you." The girls lead me outside once again.
I walk with them behind the house, as they show me the trailer. Evie steps up to the door, having to push hard to get it open. As it creaks open, I put my head inside.
"We mostly use this for storage, but we close it up in the winter. It's easier having everything we need in one place in the cold months," says Evie. Sure enough, the trailer is quite full, mainly of tools, extra supplies and various other things.
"I still can't get over how impressive this is!", I exclaim. "Aren't you worried that someone is going to come looking for this place?" I feel a change in energy around us. Maybe I shouldn't have said that.
"We wonder about that all the time," says Alexa. "We can't just trust anyone right away. We're not risking being forced back out in the world, for whatever reason." She turns back around to face me. "It's why there's more we need to learn about you if you're sticking around." I nod silently, almost afraid to say more.
"Luckily," starts Evie, breaking the tension, "nobody's come so far. In two years, since Will showed up, the only other people that have been here are all of us....and you. I doubt anyone else knows that this place even exists."
"We just want to keep it that way. The fewer people that know, the safer we are out here," mentions Alexa. "Here, come help me with the water," she says, tossing me a plastic bucket. I barely catch it as I follow her out.
We make our way to the waterfall, where Will was this morning. Alexa and I each dip our buckets into the water beneath it. Suddenly, several loud bangs go off, startling me. I drop my bucket in the water, prompting it to quickly fill up and sink to the shallow bottom.
"What the hell was that?", I ask, almost shaking. Alexa chuckles.
"Relax, it's just Will! He probably just shot our dinner. We don't just live off of berries out here, you know," she states. I take a moment to catch my breath, not appreciating her sarcasm. Eventually, I pick up my dropped bucket, before wobbling with its weight. My arms already feel as though they're made of gelatin. "You'll get used to it after a few more times."
I follow Alexa back to the campfire, each of us carrying buckets. Will is already there, with two dead squirrels on his lap. They both look rather large. Alexa and I place the buckets down as Evie, Chuck and Hayden sit on stumps surrounding the fire. I feel the relief of pressure almost instantly in my arms. Eventually, everyone is seated except me. I look at one of the extra stumps.
"Sit there," says Will, pointing at it. I sit down, facing him. He looks up at me. "So, why are you here?", he asks. I'm confused, growing defensive.
"What do you mean? I told you yesterday," I reply, getting nervous. I do my best to look away from the animal corpses in Will's lap.
"I want details."
"Why should those matter? All that's important is that I'm trying to run away from my old life. The fewer people that know about me, the better!" I have subconsciously stood up and slightly raised my voice at Will. "You all wouldn't simply sit down and tell your life stories to strangers, would you?" Will frowns.
"Listen, we're trying to help you. We've all done this before. We're not the ones who need everyone else here to trust us. You're the one we know nothing about, so please, enlighten us. Why are you here?", he asks again. I frown, taking a seat.
"Fine," I say, taking a deep breath and starting slowly. "My parents are drug dealers and they're high all the time. They've completely isolated me from everyone in my life, except my aunt. My aunt was the one who looked out for me, until she abandoned me the other day to travel. I had nobody left, so......I ran." I can feel a lump in my throat and a tear fall down my cheek. Ugh, not again. Looking down so they don't see it, I wipe it.
Everyone around me is dead silent. Some of them look back and forth at each other, except Will. He continues to look at me. I look back up at him, nervous for what he will say or do next.
"Okay, that was interesting," says Hayden.
"Knock it off Hayden," replies Will. He faces me again. "What made you want to come here, in the middle of the woods?"
"Honestly, in my mind, I didn't care where I ended up. Even if I never laid eyes on another human being again, I could live quite happily. I've learned not to rely on anyone else." An anger starts to boil up in me once more. "I don't need anyone." My tone becomes more aggressive. "That's why I was hoping to simply disappear. I don't need anybody else hurting me!" Nobody says anything else, as they all look at each other. I feel very vulnerable and on display, and I don't like it one bit. I feel the need to put up more walls. Defend yourself, my inner voice tells me. "I'm trying to leave all of that behind. I need to get away, and the last thing I need is to be interrogated about my past! None of you get it!" I state, blinded by rage. I begin to walk over to the cliff, as I hear Will stand up as well.
"My parents died when I was eight," he begins calmly. I turn back to face him. "For nearly six years, I was in the care of my older brother. He became an alcoholic, and hit me. I finally couldn't take it, so I ran here," he says. I stay quiet, as it would be stupid to say anything to fight that. "So don't say that we don't get it."
I glance down and say nothing, ashamed. I know he's right. I just wanted to stand up for myself, even if these kids didn't deserve my backlash. In this case, I can see that they didn't. I walk away further and sit by my backpack. I don't look back––I don't want to talk to them. The group starts whispering about me. I listen to the various comments.
"What was that all about?"
"I don't know! I said one thing, and it's true!"
"Give her a break. She's probably terrified right now. We all know what that's like!"
"Maybe she just needs time to adjust."
"We've all been in her shoes! We just need to be patient with her."
"It's a tough process, remember that."
"This has to be better than wherever she was running away from, though."
"She just needs to realize that!"
"Calm down, she can probably hear us!" Everyone shushes each other once that is said. I then hear them all get up walk over to me. Reluctantly, I turn to face them.
"Everyone, come in the house with me. Candice, you stay here. We need to talk," announces Will. I'm still not used to hearing my name come from a group of strangers. However, it makes me feel, in some weird way, like I'm a part of their life out here.
The group gets up and leaves me alone at the cliff. I'm confused, but in the end, it's nice having a moment alone. I'm glad the interrogation is over. It feels weird when a group of people are there, listening to every word you say. That's a normal thing that I have never been used to.
I take a deep breath and try to listen to the mutterings from the house. I can't figure out what they're saying, because they're speaking too quietly. I start to feel a combination of fear and excitement. I believe that this could be a place where I could stay and be accepted by people for the first time in ages. Perhaps, eventually, they could make me one of them.
I also wonder what would happen if they choose to abandon me. Do I betray them and tell civilization that I saw them, or do I keep my mouth shut? And if I am to leave again, where would I go? It was a long walk in this direction and it will be a long way back. It would be an understatement to say that I was lucky to find this place, especially with people who all seem to have their own stories that they are leaving behind. I likely have more in common with this group of societal disbanders than I thought.
The group comes out of the house, stepping off the porch one by one, all of them looking at me. The last one to leave is Will, who has his usual tough-guy look on his face, as he glances at me. I look at him for a moment, then focus my attention on the rest of the group. They've all taken a seat on their campfire stumps.
"We've made a decision," says Will. "Chuck?" I turn to face Chuck, as does the rest of the group. Chuck stands up, preparing to announce the decision. I begin to grow nervous.
"We've decided.... to let you stay, temporarily." I feel relieved. "We will need to gradually learn more about you, but in return you will get to know more about us too. We want to trust each other here. Once that happens, you will be a permanent part of our group." I'm more relaxed now. This is a positive outcome.
"Thank you. I want you all to trust me. I also don't want to have to go back out there." Chuck smiles.
"You'll adjust here pretty soon. There's more for us to talk about in the next few days once you settle in, but for now, you can stay," says Will.
"In the house this time," adds Alexa. I can't help but lightly smile.
"It is still your decision," adds Will, "though once you choose if you stay or not, that's it. You either stay with us wherever we are or wherever we go, or you leave now, forever, and never speak of us again."
"Thanks, all of you." I pause, thinking of what happened a few minutes ago. "I'm...sorry about what I said earlier. I'm sure you all understand my situation on some level. This is just.....a lot to take in, in such a short amount of time."
"We get it. You just ran away. This takes some getting used to," acknowledges Evie. A silence washes over us. Not an uncomfortable one, but it's noticeable nonetheless.
"Well, what are we all standing around for? Let's build the fire!", smiles Hayden. "Candice needs to eat more than just granola bars!"
"Hey, I fed her yesterday!", exclaims Evie. I chuckle lightly along with everyone else, as they start disbanding to prepare the fire, along with some food.
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As the day progresses, I spend time helping people with various chores. The water bucket runs are a regular part of the day. The group also spends a lot of time cutting wood, collecting crops from their mini vegetable garden, or hunting. Everyone takes turns with most of the chores.
Chuck brings me inside once again, showing me the couch.
"You can stay here," he says. "Oh, and bring your bag outside. We want to see what you packed, in case you brought something useful."
"Thanks," I reply. I'm compelled to object to my bag being searched, but I keep my mouth shut. I don't need to make any more of a fuss. Besides, I don't really have anything to hide at this point.
Following Chuck's order, I bring my backpack outside to the fire. I sit on the same stump as before and open it.
"Okay," I begin. "Here's what I've got." Reaching in, I start to pull things out. "I've got some extra clothes, some toiletries, a water bottle.....and a granola bar in this pouch." I put everything back and begin to unzip the smaller pouches. "In here, I've got my wallet......a first aid kit, a flashlight with some batteries, a pocket knife and....my phone." Will looks up from the fire at me.
"Wait, you have your phone?", he asks.
"Yeah.....it's dead though. Why?" He stands up and grabs it from my hand, before walking a few paces towards the waterfall and throws my phone away. It lands in the water with a quiet, distant sploosh.
"What are you doing? What was that for?", I ask angrily. Will turns and faces me.
"In case you weren't aware, that cell phone is connected to the outside world. It has an identification, and it can be tracked, can't it? The battery may be dead but unless it's fried, it's still a danger to us if someone could follow it. Do you have any other electronics that you brought?"
"Other than my watch, no."
"Good. If it's battery-powered, then you're fine." Will pauses. "You said you didn't want anyone to follow you. We just need to make sure that sticks." Without another word, he walks away.
I remain in a slight shock, as I still haven't closed my hand from where my phone used to be. Chuck shakes his head, laughing to himself.
"You'll get used to that too," he says, before heading back inside. I realize that Will makes a fair point. While the odds seem slim, and I don't know how any of that tracking stuff works, I won't take the chance. Besides, if there's no way to charge my phone out here, I would have no purpose for it.
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It's nighttime now, and everyone is heading inside. Hayden just finished putting out the fire, while I'm settling in on the couch for bed for the first time. Evie is the last one left, with a candle-lit lantern in her hand.
"Are you okay here?", she asks me.
"Oh, yeah I'm fine," I reply. "This is great."
"Okay, if you need anything, you can come find me. My bedroom is the middle one. Maybe don't wake Alexa up, though." I chuckle.
"I won't. Thanks."
"Anytime. Goodnight."
"Goodnight." Evie carries her lantern to her bedroom, eventually closing the door. The light disappears behind it with her, leaving me in darkness.
I close my eyes, trying to sleep. My mind instantly makes me think of where I was a short time ago. It was three days ago that I was at the hospital with Jessica, where she promised to make my life better. Now, I'm in control of my own life, surrounded by people like me. My only hope is that I earn my way to stay here officially. For now, though, I'm still on thin ice. I'm hardly used to this place, yet it almost feels like I was meant to be here. In my redirected train of thought, I can finally relax, in a more comfortable place and fall asleep.
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My eyes open, waking me up in pitch black. My watch reads 2:34 AM. I then hear some breathing that is not my own. I squint in the dark, trying to figure out what it is.
It's Alexa, and she's asleep on the floor.
For a moment, I remain still, unsure of what to do. She must've sleep-walked here. I've heard rumours that you shouldn't wake a sleep walker, but I wouldn't know––I've never dealt with this before. Evie will probably know what to do.
I climb over the couch and tiptoe into Evie and Alexa's room to hear Evie sleeping. Making my way through the dark bedroom, I find the bed. Guiltily, I tap her shoulder.
"Evie! Evie!", I whisper, lightly tapping her. Evie wakes up gradually.
"Candice? What's wrong?", she asks, not even opening her eyes.
"It's Alexa. She's......asleep on the floor. Is she okay?" Evie feels the empty space in the bed next to her, with her eyes still shut, before sighing. She then sits up and climbs out of bed.
"I'll deal with her," she says quietly, before walking out of the room. "Alexa sleep walks sometimes. "This happens all the time with her–– it's totally normal." I follow her timidly.
Evie kneels on the floor and wakes Alexa.
"Alexa! Wake up! You sleep walked again." Alexa opens her eyes, more startled than Evie was.
"Oh crap, I did," she replies. She stands up, and the two make their way back. Alexa then notices me standing there. "Shoot, you must've found me, didn't you?" I nod. "Well, if you find me like that again, you can just wake me. There's a lot to get used to around here. Good luck." I suppose even when she's half asleep, her sarcasm persists.
"Thanks," I reply jokingly.
"Goodnight," she says, before she and Evie head back to their room, closing the door.
I find it unusual that Alexa, someone who's probably in her teens, is still sleepwalking. I don't think that's totally normal, medically speaking. There's nothing that could really be done for it anyway. Maybe it's stress related. Who knows.
Paying it no further mind, I climb back on the couch, falling asleep once again.