Eren came back down the hotel staircase, realizing that he needed to be out in public, not stuck in his room with all those dark thoughts. He no longer trusted himself to be alone. He strode swiftly past Wim and Holger, seeing that Daz and Samuel had joined them.
"Oh hey, Jäger!" Daz called out. "We're planning to go to Madame Carly's, get us some girls for the night. You definitely need a woman after a month away in battle!"
Eren felt his stomach twist at the idea. "Yeah, I definitely do, but not tonight. I'd probably just fall asleep on top of her."
"Where are you going?" asked Holger.
"To check on my men. Have fun, you guys!"
Not wanting to hear them talking about prostitutes, or get dragged along, Eren rushed out of the hotel.
He began to walk aimlessly through the streets, looking around at all that had changed. After a month crouching behind walls or sprinting from one cover to the next, he wanted a simple stroll in the sunshine.
He thought it would be nice to go to the cathedral and pray for his lost men. It took him half an hour to walk there, and by that time he had seen the changes to Metz in the month since he left.
Back then, there were still civilians around. Now, the few people not in uniforms had haggard looks. Some were too old to pack up and leave on their own. Others appeared to be too poor and making due by scavenging off the empty houses. Others had defiant looks, too stubborn to abandon their homes and businesses, while a few looked like they had resigned themselves to fate. Almost all the stores were boarded up. The streets were empty and dirty.
This city was now a war zone.
As the spires of the cathedral rose over the tops of roofs, he found himself distracted. Instead of walking inside, he continued on down the street. Although he knew he wanted to offer up prayers eventually, his mind apparently knew what it really needed at that moment.
His feet were heading toward the wine shop.
It was a ways farther down the street. He thought about that final walk he and Levi had, silent in grief at having to say goodbye. Now, he felt anxious about reuniting.
He saw that the wine shop was still open. Although Eren could have stepped in there and not looked out of place, he hesitated.
How could he get to Levi? It would be dangerous to simply walk in there and ask for someone with a Jewish name like Levi. He considered buying a bottle of wine and hoping the shopkeeper recognized him, but that was unlikely.
Just entering might be bad for Levi.
What if the French Resistance no longer trusted him because Eren now knew their hideout?
What if Levi was already gone?
What if Levi wanted nothing to do with him?
After all, it was rather crazy to think that a widowed man like Levi, who had never had romantic feelings for another man in his life, fell for him in the first place. He lost his wife and child, he had been brutally raped, mercilessly tortured—Eren himself had whipped him—and Levi had hesitated so much during their first few weeks together.
What if Levi only gave in because he felt he had to just so Eren would continue to shelter him?
What if Eren really had unintentionally pushed him into it?
What if Levi reconsidered being with a man?
What if he simply didn't want the danger that came with being homosexual?
Levi barely escaped last time, and Eren had failed to get him out of the city, like he had promised. Levi had every right not to trust him anymore. Meanwhile, the French Resistance gave him shelter.
What if he had grown to see Eren as truly the enemy?
Wasn't he already?
# # #
"France is not our enemy!"
"And what of the Resistance? What of Jews? Are we your enemies? Because trust me, takhshet ... you are mine!"
# # #
He turned away. When Levi told him that back in June, it had shocked Eren. He had already begun to develop feelings for Levi, so hearing that he saw Eren as an enemy stung.
Back when they first reached Metz, Eren had again asked if Levi saw him as an enemy, to which Levi replied, "Only if you try to stop me."
If Levi told him something like that now, especially with the fragile emotional mood he was in, it would shatter Eren.
Half an hour walking to reach this spot, and now he was chickening out.
He was weak! A coward!
Purely so it would not look suspicious, he went across the street and entered the first opened shop he could find. It was a bookstore, and the ancient man sitting at the front counter looked like he had run this store for a hundred years, and would continue to guard these precious books for another century.
"Bonjour, hallo, wie kann ich Ihnen helfen, monsieur?" Hello, how can I help you, sir?
He spoke in clear French and German, as if he had grown up speaking both equally. Given his age, Eren wondered if this man lived through the Franco-Prussian War, the first time Metz became part of the German Empire.
Eren glanced around at the store. The smell of old books was overwhelming, like vanilla mixed with something earthy. He realized that the French book he took with him to Maizières-lès-Metz had been left behind in the town hall when he went to rescue Moblit. It was surely destroyed in the hail of howitzer artillery shells. Such a shame! In a way, it had connected him to Levi, since they had both read the same book.
"I'm looking for a book in French, something not too difficult to read but entertaining."
The old man's dark gray eyes lit up behind his round, wire-framed glasses. "Ah! If you want simple French: Honoré de Balzac. Some people don't like him because his language is so simple, but that is also what makes him popular. All of his stories in La Comédie humaine are excellent, but if I had to pick just one for you to start on..."
The old man got up, and Eren was surprised to see he had a towering stature, far over two meters tall. He walked slowly but steadily. His feet nimbly weaved between random stacks of books scattered all around between tall shelves.
"Have you read all these books?" Eren wondered.
The old man chuckled. "Not all the magazines, encyclopedias, and nonfiction textbooks—they're not normally my interest—but I read every fiction novel I sell. How rich is the mind that has lived a thousand lifetimes in the pages of books!"
He went straight to a shelf and pulled down a yellowing book.
"Le Père Goriot," he said, like introducing Eren to a fine gentleman.
"What is it about?"
"Oh! For that, you must read it, monsieur," he said with a twinkle in his eyes. "It is about the lives of people living in Paris. Have you ever been to Paris?"
Eren nodded slowly, thinking back to that simpler time. "Back in April, I was there for a few weeks."
That memory was also full of his platoon joking around. He could almost see them now, ghosts of friends he lost, laughing without realizing they only had a few more months to live. His eyes began to tear up, and he stiffened to hold back the flood of emotions.
"Paris holds a special place in your heart," the old man realized.
"A painful place," Eren muttered. "Is it a happy book?"
"Monsieur, it's a French book. We live like we know nothing but love, and we write like we know nothing but misery. If you want a less pessimistic book..." He returned that book to its shelf and turned, weaving again between tall shelves and precarious stacks. He chuckled to himself as he went up to a shelf. "Jules Verne!"
"I've heard of him," Eren muttered.
He went to a shelf where there were many copies of Jules Verne books, showing how popular it was. He slid out a bright red book with gold and black decorations on the cover and the name of the novel as well as its author written in a playful gold script.
"Voyage au centre de la Terre. Journey to the Center of the Earth. It is about a German scientist—you should like that—and it has adventure, it has excitement, it has heroic acts, it has dinosaurs!"
"Really?" That sounded like the sort of book that could take him away from the misery of life and send him to another world.
The bookkeeper chuckled as he saw the dullness in Eren's eyes change a little. He handed the novel over. "This book calls to you. You are meant to read it."
Eren took the book. They returned to the front counter, where the storekeeper carefully wrapped the book in paper, as if it was a precious vase, and placed it in a bag with the store's logo stamped on the front. Eren reached for his wallet to pay, but the old man's attention was drawn to the window.
"Monsieur Lieutenant, do you happen to know that little lady over there? She's staring hard over here, and I doubt it's at an old man like me."
Eren turned and saw a small blond woman in a flower print dress and blue coat. His eyes trailed up and down. She was familiar...
Then he saw a tall blond with a chinstrap beard beside the woman. There was no mistaking a person that tall.
Yelena!
That meant the tiny woman...
His mouth dropped as he finally saw the face clearly and realized this was Levi in disguise.
"Ah, ma petite girafe."
"Giraffe?" Eren looked again. "Yelena?"
"Oh? Do you know my granddaughter?"
Eren's eyes widened. This old man's towering height suddenly made sense. Yelena must have inherited it from him.
Eren hurriedly paid the man and grabbed up the shopping bag. "Thank you so much."
"Enjoy the adventure, monsieur," he said with a sly wink.
* * *
Across the street, Levi had just stepped out with Yelena, ready to go to the German military hospital. He was glad for the good weather so his blond wig would not get messed up, and he was able to focus solely on his mission: to find Eren and talk him out of whatever dark, dire thoughts he had. He was ready to stomp over to the hospital, but Yelena came to a sharp stop.
She whispered, "Putain de veinard." Lucky sonuvabitch. Then she called out to Levi, "Hey, Louise, look across the street."
He was angry that they were not hurrying, but he paused to look. He saw nothing at first, just shops and soldiers. Then he caught sight of one soldier in the bookstore across the street, walking behind the shopkeeper. (Levi immediately knew this was Yelena's grandfather the first time he saw the towering old man. How could anyone not realize they looked alike?)
Eren had a book in his hand, and he went to a counter to pay. Levi's heart throbbed in his chest. He felt warmth in his cheeks and nervous sweating in his palms.
Why was he anxious? This was Eren.
It was Eren! Here!
Then the shopkeeper pointed over toward him, Eren turned around, and Levi saw his face. He saw Eren's mouth drop in astonishment. They both stared at each other, neither sure if this was reality.
Yelena glanced down and smiled to herself. "Shouldn't you go greet your husband, Louise?"
Greet him? Yes, the whole reason for dressing up like this was to find Eren, and there he was, right in front of him.
Had he come there searching for Levi? Then why was he in the bookstore? Why not come into the wine shop?
He waited for the traffic to clear, and then Levi ran across the street as quickly as his heels allowed him. Yelena folded her arms and leaned back, quietly watching the reunion.
"Maybe Carly is right. Maybe they're meant to be."
Levi made it across the street just as Eren exited the store. Slowly, in a trance, they both took a few steps toward one another.
Levi silently mouthed, "Eren?" He could not risk others hearing his deep voice coming out of a person dressed in a skirt and heels.
Eren stepped up to him, looking him over, still in disbelief. He had wanted to see Levi so much, but he chickened out. Now, here he was, a prayer answered.
Levi whispered, "You're alive."
Eren jolted at the English. It had been so long since he heard anyone who wasn't an enemy speaking that language. Slowly, he calmed down. Of course Levi had to speak in English. It was the only language they both understood.
He switched his brain over into English. "It's good to see you again. I've missed you."
Now it was Levi's turn to flinch in surprise. "Your voice!"
Eren's hand went up to his throat. Was it hoarse? Had it gotten deeper?
"You ... You sound American."
"Oh, yeah." Eren laughed softly. "I had to learn how to mimic their accent so I could fool them. It worked like a charm."
Levi pouted and grumbled, "I rather miss your thick-as-wood German accent."
"You always teased me about it."
"That's because I liked it!"
Eren burst out in a laugh. Yes, that was just like Levi. The more he liked something, the crankier he tried to act.
Just then, two soldiers passed by them, and Levi fell silent, lowering his gaze so they would not see his face.
After they passed, Eren whispered, "Is there anywhere ... private we can go?" He looked over Levi, and his heart ached. He wanted to kiss him so much!
Levi glanced back at Yelena. "Maybe. Stay there." He trotted back across the street and up to the tall woman. "The cellar. Can we talk there in private?"
Yelena shrugged. "Don't ask me. Ask Wald. It's his wine barrels you want to fuck each other on."
"I do not!" Levi snarled.
"I promise not to go down there for at least two hours. I'm going to check on Carly and then talk with my cousin. Please don't let your cum leak into the wine. It would ruin the taste."
"Fuck you!" He stormed away. How dare she talk so profanely! Although he had to admit, Eren's eyes seemed to hint that he wanted far more than just talking.
He went into the wine shop, found Wald, and asked if he could use the cellar "to talk with my German friend." Recalling the officer he assumed was a spy, Wald agreed. This must be part of a secret mission, after all, and he would do anything to help France regain their land.
Levi waved for Eren to come over. He jogged across the street between horses and trucks and entered the wine shop. The bald, paunchy owner got up and walked them to the back of the store, where there was a thick door with a massive lock. He pulled out a key and unlocked it.
Levi waved Eren to go through. Wald watched him walk by, eyeing him suspiciously. It was hard to trust a man wearing that uniform.
Wald quietly asked Levi, "Vous restez longtemps ici?" Are you staying here long?
"Peut-être une demi-heure." Maybe half an hour.
"Ensuite, je laisserai la porte ouverte." Then I will leave the door unlocked.
He waited until Levi was through the door, then shut it tightly. Wald quietly shook his head.
Giving shelter to the Resistance was one thing. Hiding German spies? That was dangerous. Never trust a spy!
It was pitch black, and Levi flipped a switch that turned on a string of dangling light bulbs. A ramp led down into the cellar, built wide so wine barrels could be rolled up and down.
Eren saw the full extent of the cavernous cellar. The floor and walls were smooth stone. Arched pillars and the concave ceiling were made of rough, ancient brick. The space was filled with shelves of wine, stacks of barrels, and massive wooden crates full of bottles nestled in straw. It was cold, damp, and had a musty smell mixed with the richness of oak barrels and the fruity overtones of a wine that must have spilled long ago.
They went down the ramp, and Levi dragged Eren by the hand to a far wall. He had dusted and swept this cellar so many times—it was utterly disgusting when he first arrived, with some shelves having not been dusted in decades—so he knew the hiding places. They just had to be quiet if someone from the Resistance exited.
Against the side wall, hidden in an alcove and behind towering wine racks, Levi paused. Eren set down his shopping bag. Levi yanked some pins out of his blond wig and placed it aside on top of a wood crate along with the purse. He did not need such a stupid disguise now, and the pins itched his head.
That done, Levi finally grabbed hold of Eren fully, nearly crushing his ribs in an embrace.
"You're alive!"
Eren smothered Levi in a hug as a single sob burst out. He had not realized just how lonely he was until he saw Levi. Now, he shivered as the cold walls he had built around his heart melted.
Levi sighed as he sank into Eren's embrace. "When I heard the news about Maizières-lès-Metz, I feared the worst, but I refused to believe..."
Levi's teeth clenched. The reports from the American side was that there were no German survivors. He had not wanted to believe the news. There was no way he could lose Eren like that!
He had felt so much disgust listening to his fellow Frenchmen celebrating the decimation of an entire battalion. Didn't they realize those were sons and brothers too? Why would anyone celebrate a massacre?
"I've wanted to write to you," Eren whispered in longing. "Every time I'd write a letter, I'd get so mad that I couldn't address it to you." Then he laughed in a memory. "The very first letter I sent to Louise, I was thinking about you. I started it planning to mail it to the brothel and hoping it could reach you. Then my men peeped over my shoulder, saw the dirty things I had written, and teased me about missing my wife. In the end, I was forced to send it to her, since they were all watching me." He grumbled, "That was one of the most humiliating moments in my life. I can't believe I had to actually send that to her."
"Dirty things?" Levi asked as that part intrigued him.
Eren blushed, and Levi swore, he looked even more handsome now, especially with his hair starting to grow out of the military trim. Levi reached up and tugged on a bit of longish locks.
"Were you thinking a lot of dirty little thoughts?" Levi egged on, playing with the brown hair.
"At first," he admitted, but his eyes drifted off in sadness.
He had spent the first week in Maizières-lès-Metz daydreaming about Levi, memories of his naked body easing the lonely nights. Slowly, the battle had eaten away at him. In those moments, surrounded by the sounds of artillery, he preferred the little things: Levi's reluctant smile, linking their pinkies together, the peace that softened his face whenever he prayed, and his blushing cheeks as Levi slid the wedding ring on. Those were the moments that soothed his heart after a day of fighting and watching men around him die.
Levi glanced over Eren and saw the bandages on his arm. "You're wounded," he muttered.
Eren looked down at the wrap covering his arm. "Burns. They'll take a few weeks to heal. I was also kind of shot in the head," he said with a laugh.
"That's not funny," Levi scolded.
"Oh, but it is! Shot twice in the head, and my helmet stopped the bullets both times. Who else can claim that!" he exclaimed, laughing again.
Levi guessed that Eren was laughing because whatever more was connected to that memory was too horrific to fully recall. Laughter was his way of distancing himself from grief.
"So yeah, shot in the head and my arm got set on fire. I have a ... um, what's the word ... Gehirnerschütterung, Kopfverletzung ... um, head injury? Dammit, I know this word," he grumbled.
"A concussion?"
"Yes, that's it! It's not too bad right now. At least I'm well enough to walk around."
Levi still saw some pained distance in Eren's face. "What happened to you?"
The smile on Eren's face faded slowly. His eyes drifted away. "Too much," he whispered. "I'll tell you all about it someday. Not now." If he talked about it now, he would sink into depression again. "Enough about me. How have you been?" he pressed on.
"Bored, for the most part. I've been training Yelena's men. They desperately needed some discipline and lessons in firearms. That was about all I could do while my foot healed. That and practice knife-throwing."
"How is your ankle?"
Levi looked down at his foot. "The cast finally came off a few days ago. I can walk, but the whole leg is a little weak. I was told the strength will come back, but I should take it easy for a few days."
"Wearing women's shoes surely isn't helping."
"I was going to look for you, brat!"
"Me? How did you know I was back in Metz?"
Levi debated about telling Eren that he saw the last letter he wrote to Louise. However, that could humiliate Eren, to know that Levi saw just how deeply he sank.
"I heard about it. Leave it at that."
Eren's brow tightened. Of course: the French Resistance. "Are you doing jobs for those partisans?"
Levi heard the bitterness in his words. Not that he blamed Eren. The French Resistance had really made things hellish for the Germans, after all, and a lot of that was thanks to his planning. "Not really jobs. That would imply they pay me. I simply know how to get stuff done."
"What sort of stuff?"
"Don't ask," he warned.
Eren scowled and his fist tightened. Partisans were enemies! Enemies of Germany should die! Yet here he was, standing in the middle of a French Resistance base, chatting with one of their members.
"Be honest," Eren whispered. "Have you killed any Germans?"
"Eren!" Levi gave a small sigh, and he reached up to touch Eren's cheek. "This isn't the way I want to reunite. I don't want you to hate me, so it's best if you don't know anything."
Eren despised that simply being here was technically treason. He was mad at himself.
I'm weak! I'm abnormal! A traitor!
Levi muttered, "If it makes you feel any better, I didn't kill anyone who wasn't trying to kill me."
"Self-defense?" Eren asked with a hint of desperation, hoping that this was all it was. Levi had killed Germans in self-defense before.
"Sure," Levi said with a passive shrug. Let him think that. Maybe Eren would be less upset if he thought of it as Levi fighting for his survival. In reality, the Nazis wanted him dead, so any German soldier he killed was self-defense.
Eren realized, he probably really did not want to know more than that. He could either see Levi as his enemy and shoot him on the spot, or accept that life was not black and white, made up of either enemies or allies. You could be friends, even lovers, and be on opposite ideological sides.
The ache in his lips knew which choice was the correct one.
"Levi," he whispered, but for a moment Eren hesitated. His eyes slammed shut.
Homosexuality is abnormal! A weakness! Purify the fields! Germany has no need for weakness! The weak should die!
"What is it?"
Eren opened his eyes, and when he looked at Levi...
If this was abnormal, why was that bad?
If this made him weak, he knew that Levi would keep him strong.
If Germany had no need for men like him...
Eren pulled off his coat and folded it over a wine barrel. Then he unclasped his tunic, slowly removed it, and laid it on top of the coat. Finally, he took off his officer's cap and set it on top of the pile. Levi saw the determined look in Eren's face as he stripped off that layer that made him an enemy soldier. All that was left was him: a man whose eyes burned with passion and hopes.
Eren was amused how simply taking that uniform off felt like a heavy weight lifted off his heart. He reached his hand up and finally touched Levi's face. His cheek was so warm, it ached his heart. Levi leaned into his touch, and the walls around Eren's heart crumbled even more.
"May I kiss you?"
Levi sighed in bliss. He always asked. Ever since that first nervous kiss, hiding underground just like this, Eren had been mindful, making sure Levi wanted the love he had to give.
Back then, Levi was terrified to fall in love again. Now, he knew precisely what he wanted.
Without any warning, Levi grabbed Eren by the undershirt and slammed him up against the stone wall of the cellar. Eren was startled by the aggression, but lips instantly smothered his cry of shock.
He had not expected that!
Levi snarled hungrily, "Merde, I missed you!"
He reached up to Eren's face and held both of his cheeks, like he had to hold on as he poured his emotions out through his kiss. As Eren's arms wrapped around him, Levi knew ... lips just weren't enough!
He licked Eren's mouth, and the response was rapid as Eren plunged his tongue in. That taste! He missed it!
Eren's hands grabbed at Levi's back and pulled him in even closer. His fingers roamed up and down; he hated feeling a dress, but he loved the outline of muscles just under. Then his hands drifted down to Levi's ass.
He heard a soft growl. Not a warning to not touch there. No, far from it! Eren grabbed Levi's ass and pulled him in.
Eren needed Levi just as desperately as Levi needed to reclaim him.
Reclaim him!
Levi attacked Eren's neck, leaving bright pink marks while threading his fingers through the brown hair. He loved the feel of it being longer. It was at the perfect length to ensnare his fingers and pull.
"Ow, ow, careful." Eren flinched away and rubbed out the back of his head. "I still have a scab back there."
Levi realized he was panting heavily. Over a month apart really had made him wild and starved. Still, he saw the pain in Eren's face, and without the uniform on he could better see the bandages around Eren's arm and how far up they went.
"Do we need to stop?"
The flash in Eren's eyes was carnal and dangerous. Rather than answer, Eren grabbed Levi and lifted him straight up like he weighed nothing. He set Levi on a wine barrel next to the wall so he did not have to bend over, and then Eren devoured him with fiery kisses.
His lips, his jaw, his throat: he couldn't get enough!
Levi wrapped his legs around Eren and yanked him in closer. Eren's body kept surging, like he knew what he truly wanted, but clothing was in the way.
"Can you be loud here?" Eren asked, panting heavily as he nibbled Levi's jawline.
"Not too loud."
"But it's okay to moan, right?"
"Again, if it's not too loud. I doubt La Résistance can hear us, but the cellar only holds back so much noise."
"The Resistance? How close are they?"
"Further underground. If they do hear and get curious, I'll tell them to fuck off."
"Good," Eren said, and his eyes flashed with raw passion. "I want to hear you."
He suddenly made his attack, latching onto Levi's neck and sucking so hard, Levi's cry was only half erotic and half in honest pain. Eren pulled back, looking so smug as he eyed the pink oval.
Yes! Everyone would see that and know Levi was taken.
"Brat," Levi grumbled. He rubbed his neck, a little annoyed that Eren was so aggressive.
Eren did not wait for Levi to say more. His mouth crashed down, and his tongue invaded. Levi felt Eren growing recklessly passionate, and he loved it. As his hips flexed with breathy grunts, Levi felt the hidden cock getting harder, longer, straining against the fabric of the trousers. A haughty smirk rose on his lips.
He could still make Eren this hard!
Now, he wanted to hear Eren's voice as well. His hand shot down and palmed Eren's crotch.
"Oh Gott, ja!" Eren moaned loudly, not even trying to hold back.
Hearing his voice quiver like that affected Levi strongly, and Eren could feel the change. He desperately hiked Levi's dress up, exposing the women's knickers.
"May I..."
"Yes!" Levi growled.
Eren rubbed his hand up against Levi. He felt his half-hard cock through the underwear. No, he wanted it fully hard. Hard for him! He rubbed relentlessly and felt the cock twitch as it grew stiff and erect.
Levi began to thrust into Eren's hand, needing more. Eren's heart pounded as their hands rubbed one another through their clothes and their mouths swallowed up each other's moans.
Eren's hips made their own aggressive bombardment, rocking so hard to push up against Levi that the wine barrel kept slamming against the wall.
"Whoa, wait. If we break this, Wald will make me pay."
Eren picked him up again, but this time he held onto Levi by the ass as he pinned him straight to the wall, rutting frantically against him with lewd grunts. Levi let out a moan as Eren seemed ready to ravage him.
Definitely, all of Eren's nervous hesitation from before the battle was gone. He was a man who had tasted passion and then went a month with nothing but that memory of something delicious.
"Set me down," Levi gasped. If Eren kept this up, he was going to need to change his clothes.
Eren lowered him. Then, not even asking this time, Eren grabbed the edge of the knickers and yanked them down hard. Levi was shocked, but this only saved him the time. He tugged the underwear down to his ankles and stepped out of them. While he did that, Eren hurriedly undid his belt, unbuttoned his trousers, and lowered the zipper.
Levi shook his head. They really weren't holding back anything anymore. Back then, he wanted to take things slowly with Eren so the young man could fully enjoy it. Now, they both realized how precious time was. There was no point in taking life at a leisurely pace, not when death oozed its foul fumes all around them.
Before he could tug his uniform trousers down, Levi shoved Eren up against the wall and crashed into him. He yanked Eren's boxers aside like they were merely a frustrating barrier and immediately rubbed the full length of his cock.
Eren ignored his trousers and hiked the dress up again so he could grab Levi fully. His fingers wrapped around, and his hand slid down Levi's shaft with a squeeze, then stroked up with a playful twist around the cockhead. The moan that bubbled up from Levi was glorious, echoing through the stone and brick walls of the cellar.
Eren slid down the wall just a little so their cocks were at the same height. Then he grabbed both of them together, each sliding across the other. Eren stroked even more vigorously, while a string of French profanity shuddered out of Levi's mouth.
"You'll make a mess all over the floor."
Eren stopped mid-stroke. "Oh! I ... I don't have condoms."
"Oh, fuck it! No one cleans this damn cellar except me. I'll wash up the mess later."
Levi had to be honest: this felt too good, and he did not want to stop.
Eren kept stroking, even as he felt them both beginning to leak. He had not touched himself since ... when? It felt like ages. He had at the beginning of the battle, but as the guns fired ceaselessly, he could not lose himself to fantasies.
Now, he cursed, knowing he was sensitive and way too wound up, already feeling the pressure within himself building to a climax.
He suddenly let go of Levi's cock, quickly moved to the side, and began to give himself rapid strokes, knowing he was right on the cusp. Not even five strokes in, Levi grabbed his hand and slammed it to the wall.
"I'm doing this!"
He reached down and stroked Eren with determination. The cock really was so different from his own, thicker, and that foreskin made stroking it feel odd compared to what he was used to.
Still, fuck the idea of Eren doing it by himself when he was right there in front of him!
Eren moaned, feeling helpless and captured, a prisoner of passion, and he never wanted to be released. His teeth clenched as he felt the tightness coiling.
"Levi!" he warned. "I'm ... I'm gonna..."
Levi leaned in close and ordered, "Moan for me, Eren!"
His eyes suddenly opened wide. "Ahh!"
Eren stiffened as an arc of white fluid shot through the air and splattered to the stone floor. Levi's hand did not stop as he felt pulse after pulse, and Eren's face went from rigid to slack in such beautiful surrender.
A smirk lifted Levi's cheek. "You still end so quickly, like a little boy," he taunted, stroking slowly to milk it all out. Levi looked down at his drenched fingers. "So messy."
He released the wrist he had pinned to the wall, and Eren immediately wrapped his arms around Levi, pulling him in.
"Hey! You have cum on your dick."
"I know," Eren whispered. He took Levi's wet hand and wrapped the fingers around Levi's own cock. "I want it on yours."
With his hand trapping Levi's wet and messy hand, Eren stroked slowly, moving Levi's fingers to his will and spreading his own cum all over him. He watched the faces Levi made, a blend of revulsion, pleasure, and uncertainty.
"Dégoûtant." Disgusting.
"Do you not like that?"
"It's wet and gross."
"Would you rather I touch you myself?"
Levi snapped back, "That's the point, right?"
"Or, would you rather..." Eren dropped to his knees. His tongue coyly stuck out and licked his lips, showing what he was offering.
"Merde," Levi groaned.
He had fantasized about Eren's mouth for weeks, on his knees, those teal eyes gazing up at him with such fire in them, just like this.
"May I?"
"Yes!" Levi said, shocked to hear his voice sounding strained and gravelly. Seriously, he was so weak to seeing Eren on his knees.
Eren stuck his tongue out and licked up the shaft. "Ew. I can taste my own stuff."
He rubbed Levi's cock, hoping to wipe away any semen he had slathered on. It had seemed like a sexy idea at the time, but tasting himself was not appealing. Once it was clean, Eren licked up Levi's cock. Much better!
Then Eren's mouth attacked with starving sucks and voracious licking all around. Levi's head threw back, and he moaned freely. His voice echoed through the wine cellar.
Eren shuddered in bliss. "I've wanted to hear that sound for so long."
To be alone, free to love one another! To moan for his lover without the terror of being overheard and executed!
Such simple freedoms were so rare and precious for men like them.
Levi panted heavily. It felt so amazing. Knowing Eren really wanted this, that this was something he desired, overwhelmed him.
Just then, they heard the creak of the hidden passage opening up. Eren paused, but he did not get up as they heard the clicking of shoes over the stone floor.
Levi protectively put his hand on Eren's head. Then he saw Eld Jinn walk by. Although Levi was hidden away in the alcove, Eld recognized him, and then saw a man kneeling in front of his crotch.
Levi ordered, "Ne regarde pas, continue de marcher." Don't look, keep walking.
Eld shrugged. He already knew from Yelena that Levi had a boyfriend. It was none of his business. He continued on. "Je serai de retour avant le dîner." I'll be back before dinner.
"Je pourrais être parti toute la nuit." I could be gone all night.
"Je vais le dire aux autres." I'll tell the others.
"La porte est déverrouillée. Ne laisse pas Wald la verrouiller après ton départ, d'accord?" The door is unlocked. Don't let Wald lock it after you leave, okay?
"C'est noté, merci." Noted, thanks.
Eld paused at the cellar door and turned around. He glanced again at the man on his knees. Then he gave Levi a knowing wink.
"Amusez-vous bien ce soir." Have fun tonight.
He opened the door and shut it behind him.
Eren looked up at Levi, worried if they were in trouble. Whoever that was, he was part of the French Resistance. If they knew Levi was the lover of a Nazi...
Levi saw the worried look on Eren's face. "They already know about you," he told him, caressing his hair reassuringly. "How could I possibly go a month without talking about my cute, precious boyfriend?"
That eased a mountain of fears off Eren's shoulders.
"Keep going," he ordered quietly.
Eren did, but slower now. Levi had talked about him! Whereas he had to invent lies about Louise and could not even talk about Levi with Armin, lest anyone possibly overhear him, Levi had the support of his men. Yes, they were the French Resistance and enemies of Germany, but if they supported Levi...
That was all Eren really cared about.
As much as Levi had loved the fierce passion earlier, he was glad that this slower pace allowed him to savor it a bit longer. Eren's mouth sucked so firmly, he could have lost control in under a minute at the pace they were going before.
Levi closed his eyes, fully enjoying it. He could not help but moan softly and thrust into those wet lips. Eren's mouth was so hot, and his hands roamed up and down his thighs as he continually pushed the dress up. That area of his body was so sensitive, but how Eren touched him was thrilling.
The tenderness affected him almost worse than raw lust. Another long, low growl bubbled up as a shiver went from his balls up his spine.
"Eren, more."
Eren went faster, and he sensed that this was the pace Levi needed. He heard the heavy panting return, and he glanced up to see Levi's face turning red as his heart raced.
"Where can I touch your head?"
Eren did not stop sucking as he took Levi's hand and placed it on the right side of his head. That part had not been injured.
Levi's fingers clenched that side as he moaned deeply, feeling the rhythmic movements of Eren bobbing on him. He thrust in a little harder, and Eren picked up the signal. He began to pound his face in, going faster as he felt the tension trembling in Levi's thighs.
"Eren! Fuck..." He panted heavily, grunting as Eren's mouth relentlessly sucked him. He could feel tightness coiling down below. "Wait, wait! No! You need to stop."
Eren pulled his lips back and lifted his head in worry. "Are you okay?"
"I'm ... I'm about to..."
In a low, sultry voice, he whispered, "I want to taste it."
Levi's mouth dropped. "What? You want ... merde!" he growled.
"Are you okay with that?" Eren asked, remembering how challenging it was for Levi to surrender himself to passion. He had only succeeded once, during that final bath together. "You don't have to—"
"I want it. Fuck, I want it!" he sneered. "Hurry. I can't hold back much longer."
Eren's head plunged back down, and he was even more aggressive now. Levi held onto Eren's head and pounded in his hips, fucking into his mouth and getting grunts when he hit the back of Eren's throat.
"That's right. Suce-moi la bite. Suck my dick!"
Eren moaned sensually, and it buzzed through Levi's body.
"Eren ... shit ... c'est si bon ... so good..."
Then Eren slipped one hand up to toy with Levi's balls. He rolled them, tugged them, and that touch was what finally undid Levi.
"Fuck! Merde!"
He grabbed Eren's scalp and rammed in harder, barely even thinking about if this might hurt his head or even choke him. He could no longer hold back his voice as the whole world seemed to explode with the deluge of euphoria that burst from within him.
As he filled Eren's mouth, he heard a sound of astonishment, but Levi did not let go of his head. He wanted Eren to take all of it, every last drop.
All of him. He wanted to give all he could.
It was a slow, soft journey floating back down. It felt amazing to experience this so freely, to moan and enjoy it without the fears of being discovered darkening the edges of his thoughts.
Just him and Eren and the pleasure they could give one another!
Then Levi realized Eren's head was injured, and he released his hand.
"Sorry."
Levi glanced down and saw Eren still kneeling there with his cock in his mouth. Did he even know what to do next? Levi realized this was the first time Eren had sucked someone to completion. Maybe he honestly didn't know.
"You can pull back now."
Eren let Levi's cock slip out from between his lips. He rubbed his tongue around in his mouth. "Not what I was expecting."
Levi saw his mouth moving, as if tasting a new wine. "Wait, you swallowed it?"
"Yes. At least, that's what the men say the girls in Paris do."
Levi slapped his hand over his face, unable to handle seeing Eren licking his lips. "Du farkirtst mir di yorn!"
"Yiddish? Are you mad at me for doing that?"
"No." A laugh bubbled up. "No, not at all. I just wasn't expecting it for your first time." He thought back. Petra had never seemed to like oral sex and always spit it out. That was fine too, but knowing this was now inside Eren was a nice feeling.
"You've said that phrase before," Eren recalled. "I hope it's something nice."
Levi scoffed. "Sure it is."
He had actually said, you'll be the death of me, and he meant it in so many ways.
This was not at all cautious. They should have been quiet, even down here. Normally, Levi was so careful never to do anything stupid that could get him discovered and arrested. Live, no matter the price! But whenever it came to Eren...
Well, at least now he fully understood why he was so foolish around Eren. It took him such a long time to truly understand his feelings, and even longer while Eren was gone to mull it over and decide it was not merely a silly crush. He truly was in love with this man.
He caressed Eren's cheek and gazed down with warm admiration. "I missed you so much."
Eren rose back up and wrapped his arms around him. "I missed you more than I can say in any language."
"Your American accent is still really weird."
Eren squeezed him and nuzzled the top of his head. "I rather like it. American accents are kinda sexy."
Levi scoffed and grumbled, "I don't like the idea of you listening to Americans on the radio and thinking they're sexy."
Eren laughed at the cranky grumble. "Jealous?"
"So long as you weren't flirting with them."
"Never! Only you."
Levi felt a bit smug at that. Only him. This gorgeous man was his alone. He sighed and leaned against the cotton undershirt. He really was stupidly in love with Eren.
"Your mouth," he whispered awkwardly. "It ... was good."
"I enjoyed it too," Eren whispered. "Now, I'll take a piece of you with me."
Levi nodded. That was what he had been thinking about. Maybe it was silly, maybe Eren would shit all of that out in a few hours, but it was a nice thought.
No matter what happened in the future, a part of him would always be with Eren.
But now, a part of Eren was not with him.
Or could it be?
He pulled away from the embrace and glanced down at his hand. "It's still messy," he muttered.
"Oh! I have a handkerchief somewhere." Eren reached over to his uniform tunic.
"No!"
The sternness of Levi's voice made Eren freeze and look over. With his eyes locked on Eren's, Levi lifted his messy hand and gave it a slow lick.
Eren's mouth dropped, realizing what Levi meant by this. Bit by bit, Levi licked his palm, cleaning off the thick, white moistness. Sure, a part of him thought this was utterly disgusting, but his eyes never broke from Eren's enthralled gaze.
That look alone was worth the repulsive thought of germs.
Eren whispered, "You didn't have to."
"Of course I didn't. I wanted to." His clean hand reached up into Eren's lanky hair. "You'll always come back to me, because a part of me is with you, and a part of you is with me"
Eren felt something crack apart inside him. He leaned over and gave Levi a deep, passionate kiss, plunging his tongue in. Any essence still left in either of their mouths mixed, and although some stubborn part of Levi's brain still insisted it was unsanitary and gross, he gave a mental middle finger to that part of his mind.
Fuck how gross it was! This was his boyfriend!
Eren held Levi, unable to release this feeling of happiness. If he did, he feared where he might plunge. Holding him was enough. Knowing he was here, alive, safe, and still in love with him...
He honestly had feared that Levi would change his mind about all of this. The idea had haunted him: finding Levi but being told it was all a big mistake.
Now he knew, Levi still wanted him.
And he desperately needed Levi!
"Are you hungry?"
The question yanked Eren out of his thoughts, and he pulled back. He had thought this was the way Levi would want things from now on: hiding away, never being seen together in public. That was safer. Instead, Levi looked bashful as he waited for an answer.
"If you are, we can get something to eat. I skipped lunch. I know a place where we can sit. It's safe; the people there know me."
Eren burst into a grin. "I'd love to have more time with you."
His answer relieved Levi. "Are you free today?"
"Yes, I'm on medical leave until my wounds heal."
"I was thinking, maybe we could spend the day together, and maybe ... maybe the night?" He glanced up, wanting to be hopeful but also unsure about this.
Now he was the one moving too fast!
Eren looked overjoyed initially, but then tamed back his happiness. "It's not safe. Going back to that hotel, it's the same problems all over again."
Levi dropped his head. He knew that better than anyone. After all, he still had the Enfield pistol the assassin dropped, now hidden in his purse along with a few knives. Simply walking around Metz even dressed up in an outfit like this was dangerous. Walking into a hotel full of Wehrmacht officers ... he should have learned his lesson the first time.
Yet he survived that, and Eren was right here in front of him.
Eren ached to see the disappointment in Levi's downcast eyes. "What about here? Could we spend the night underground?"
Levi frowned at the idea. "I could maybe convince Yelena, but I doubt the rest would trust having you around. Besides, all I have to sleep on is a cot. There's no privacy, and we don't have any spare beds."
Eren scowled. As much as he hated the idea of getting even more involved with the French Resistance—just being here was pushing what he felt was tolerable—he would have put up with it if he could have a night with Levi.
Just one night to do all the wild stuff they wanted to do before they were separated!
"We could say Louise is back," Levi offered. "That worked before. Are the Gestapo still after her?" he asked, remembering that was the big problem last time.
Eren shook his head. "I got a letter while I was in Machern-bei-Metz; they don't need to interview her anymore. I don't know if they caught who poisoned me or not, only that she isn't a suspect."
"Then it could work."
"Yes, but ... taking you back to that hotel..."
Eren was only being practical. It was dangerous! However, he did not trust himself to sleep alone. If he fell into depression again, could he hold on until morning?
He felt like, maybe, he really needed Levi to be there with him, if only because he knew Levi was strong enough to stop him if he tried to do anything bad. Levi had pulled him away from the brink of darkness before.
He realized, he really should not be alone, not when he felt like this.
Besides, a night together sounded blissful.
"If ... If that's what you want," he whispered.
Levi grumbled petulantly, "If you don't want to spend the night—"
"No, I do!" Eren laughed at his own desperation. What a lovesick puppy he was! "It's best to be cautious. If we're seen together, Louise will be our cover story. I'll say my wife's back to welcome me home from battle."
Levi grumbled, "Your American accent is so weird."
Eren chuckled. "You better get your panties on, Louise."
They separated and redressed. Levi retrieved the knickers, tried to smooth out the rumpled skirt, and put his wig back on, securing it with pins. Eren pulled on his tunic, tugged the heavy coat back on, picked up the shopping bag, and set his cap onto his head.
Levi pouted at seeing that German uniform back on him. It just looked so wrong!
Eren suddenly grabbed Levi's hand with a dazzling smile. "Lead the way."
Levi looked down at his hand in shock, but then he smiled briefly before shaking his head and muttering something in French. They left the cellar and went up the ramp to the wine shop.
Wald was still sitting by the counter, and he glared over the top of his newspaper. "Je veux que le sol de la cave soit nettoyé ce soir." I want the cellar floor cleaned tonight.
Levi closed his eyes. Shit. He must have heard. He replied in French, "It will be spotless, but you have to wait until tomorrow."
"Never do that in here again. Not near my wine, at least. Go down to the sewer or find an alley to fuck one another."
Levi scoffed and continued onward, yanking Eren by the hand. As he reached the door, he heard Wald grumble.
"Sale Nazi pédé." Fucking Nazi faggot.
Levi let go of Eren, reached into his purse, and a small knife flew from his fingers. It spun through the air, slashed through the newspaper, and embedded in the wooden shelf just behind Wald. The bald man nearly fell backward in delayed horror.
Levi sneered, "Speak about my boyfriend that way again and next time I'll aim for your eye. You can still run a shop with one eye." Then Levi grabbed Eren's hand and yanked him out of the store.
"Levi!" Eren hissed.
"Don't worry, it's not the first time I've had to threaten him like that."
"You've thrown knives at him before?"
"Well, no," Levi had to admit, "but he's said shitty things about me before, and I pulled a knife on him at least twice. Never threw it. Oruo told me that Yelena pulled a gun on him once when he said some nasty stuff about Carly Stratmann."
"The brothel madam," Eren recalled. Mostly, he remembered her amazing cigarettes.
"He's trustworthy, generally tolerant, but I think sometimes his brain fails to tell his mouth not to say what's actually on his mind."
Wald's problem was not homosexuality or prostitution. It was Nazis. Anyone who slept with a German, by choice or due to circumstances beyond their control, he felt were traitors of France. He might respect Levi as a Resistance fighter, but the fact that his boyfriend was a Nazi officer, even if Eren was willing to help the Resistance occasionally, still rankled the old shopkeeper.
Eren glanced back at the store. "Are you really safe there?"
"Safer than any other place in Metz. Now, come on. I know a place up the street. Just don't walk too fast. My feet hate these shoes."
Eren slipped Levi's hand through the crook of his elbow, so they could walk arm-in-arm like lovers. "Wohin du auch gehst, ich werde dir folgen."
"What are you saying?"
"Wherever you go, I will follow."
Levi scoffed quietly and looked sternly ahead, feeling his cheeks growing flushed despite the icy autumn wind.
# # #
# #
#
We've all been waiting for this, right? Reunited and it feels so good!
Le Père Goriot – Published in 1835, the book is the most famous of Honoré de Balzac's multi-volume collection, La Comédie humaine. In 1945, it was made into a movie. It contains the line: "In that case I will make you an offer that no one would decline." This inspired a line in Mario Puzo's novel The Godfather that later became the second most significant cinematic quote thanks to Marlon Brando's delivery: "I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse."
Voyage au centre de la Terre ("Journey to the Center of the Earth") – If you haven't already read this book, what are you waiting for? It's basically the OG for the genre of "young person gets swept into a wild adventure by an old eccentric scientist relative." (Victorian "Rick and Morty" in a sense.) I read the English translation when I was 10, and it helped to stoke my love for storytelling. I went through a whole "Jules Verne phase" between ages 10-13, devouring any of his books I could find in my school library.
Levi using Yiddish when mad – After a few chapters, I just want to remind people that Levi teasingly said he would curse in French when he was just flustered, but use Yiddish if he was truly angry. Of course, he forgot about that. He just cusses in whatever language he wants, because he's Levi.
Du farkirtst mir di yorn ("You'll be the death of me") – Levi has said this common Jewish lament three times before. The first was when Eren forced Levi to rejoin the Nazi company on their march to Metz ("A Road Between Two Churches"). The second time was when Levi returned to Eren for Rosh Hashanah, teasingly said he would forgive Eren for getting married if he begged for forgiveness on his knees, so Eren dropped to his knees to sweetly apologize, riling up Levi ("Rosh Hashanah"). The last time he said it was just before Eren left for battle, when Levi got too flustered with Eren teasing him and gave his takhshet a hickey to remember him by ("Auf Wiedersehen"). So Eren has heard this phrase a few times already, but he still doesn't know what it means.
—
Side note: At first, I wrote that Eren would end up getting Le Petit Prince ("The Little Prince") since I knew it was published in 1943. However, upon reading about it on Wikipedia, I saw that the book was actually banned in France during WWII due to the author, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, actively fighting against the Nazis. He had to publish it while in exile in the United States.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry is honestly a fascinating figure in literature and World War II, so I want to share a little biography.
(Antoine de Saint Exupery and his P38 Lightning)
Saint-Exupéry was a pilot in the French Air Force, becoming famous for his aviation poetry and novels. He was an avid reader, and he would read or write poetry in his cockpit while crews prepared his aircraft. Once, he angered the ground crew by flying circles around the airport for an hour before finally landing, because he really wanted to finish the last chapter of a novel. (I sympathize with that so much!)
In 1940, when Germany prevailed in the Battle of France, Saint-Exupéry traveled to the United States to help persuade the government to enter the war. There, he wrote The Little Prince and had it published in both French and English. In 1943, he applied to join the Free French Air Force, but at 43 years old, he was eight years over the age limit. He petitioned multiple times for an exemption, which was finally approved by General Eisenhower.
Since he was a famous aviator and author, General Charles de Gaulle (head of the Free France Forces and future President of France) sought Saint-Exupéry's public support; however, Saint-Exupéry feared the General would become a post-war dictator, so he refused to support him. In retaliation, de Gaulle insinuated that Saint-Exupéry was a German sympathizer and banned his book in French North Africa. Ironically, this was at the same time that the Nazi-supporting Vichy Regime banned Saint-Exupéry's books in France due to his support for the Allies.
(Banning books: a GREAT way to prove to an author that you will NOT be a dictator in the future.)
In July 1944, Saint-Exupéry was assigned a reconnaissance mission to collect intelligence on German troop movements preceding the Allied invasion of southern France ("Operation Dragoon"). He took off in an unarmed P-38 Lightning, but he vanished without a trace over the Mediterranean. The wreckage of his plane was finally discovered in May 2000.
Le Petit Prince was posthumously published in France after liberation, and today it is one of the most-read children's books in the world. Saint-Exupéry is remembered as a national hero of France.
Proof that writers can be bad-ass!