[3] 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘤- Kol M.

013.

I'M SORRY

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"So there is no other way?" Cami asked as she paced around while Freya and Valeria watched with the heretics in the room and Kol as well.

"None that we will find today..."Valeria replied, sighing. "Even if I we tried which we all know we would've, there is not enough magic in the world to save him...for now I'm going to find a way to get him to think straight for his last moments"

"So that's it?" Rebekah asked with tears in her eyes.

"We won't stop looking for something but I can't promise anything" Valerie reassured and the blonde nodded.

"Just get him so he can be up and going again even if it's just for today I have to stick around Hope..." Freya walked out the room and so did cami and Rebekah.

Valeria sighed and turned to Kol who also had a sad expression on his face. She knew even if there were so many disagreements over the years with them he was still upset about it but it was clear no one really knew what to do about it.

It seemed like they were all stalling in trying to find a way because that's what they always did, no one really knew how to take a loss.

"Could you get the twins here please? I need them" Valeria asked Kol.

"Val I don't think..."

"Kol please I need them" Valeria repeated again and the man just nodded and stepped out of the room.

Valeria sighed again and looked down, moving the sleeves of her sweater down.

"What's that?" Nora asked, looking down at the girl's hands.

"It's nothing I just haven't fed in a while..." Valeria tried to cover up but paused when she noticed the face the heretics had on.

"You're lying..." Valerie walked to her side and took her hand looking down to inspect it. "Since when?"

"Yesterday..."

"I'll find something..." Valerie immediately turned around to go to the shelf but Valeria stopped her.

"Don't it's okay just please don't tell anyone they're losing much as it is" Valeria told her.

"But Val..."

"Nora please we'll worry about this later for now just study this spell and I'll go see what's there to do..." Valeria then stepped out of the room leaving everyone there speechless of what they had seen.

Valeria was tired of crying. Tired of losing. Tired of everything.

Part of her wanted to give up and leave everything behind. She didn't want to fight anymore; she had been doing it for so long.

She walked through the halls of the compound remembering every moment.

The first moment she stepped inside those doors was the first time she ever felt like she had actually begun to live her life.

She didn't forget about her life in mystic falls at all but there she felt stuck she never felt like she was living.

All she could remember was her waiting to be married off to feel something different than the same life over and over again everyday but it never went like that instead she was put into the supernatural world.

She could say she hated it but thanks to that she met amazing people she loved and had built the life she had now.

Even if everything was crumbling down now it wasn't really over maybe it felt like it was but it wasn't they just had to get through but there were moments where she just didn't want to.

By now Valeria has reached the other side of the house not noticing she was almost sobbing until she was stopped.

"Valeria? Are you alright?" Elijah set his hand on her arm watching how the girl snapped out her thoughts and looked up at him.

It only took two seconds for her to crumble down and begin to sob. The man quickly pulled her aside into one of the rooms and shut the door bringing her into his arms.

"Valeria what's wrong?!" He demanded, startled to hear the girl crying uncontrollably.

"Everything..." she breathed out trying to keep it together.

Elijah just pulled away and sat her down on the couch and he sat in front of her giving her his handkerchief to wipe off her tears.

She just took it and tried to wipe them off but it was no use.

"Tell me what you need I'll try and help" Elijah sat his hand on hers and she pulled it away hiding her hands. "What's the matter?" he furrowed his brows and looked down to see her hands that were covered.

"I hate this, all of this. I hate how I can't fix it. I hate how I have to be careful. I hate it! It was so easy to just live for myself and no one else now I have Kol, the twins, my brothers, everyone else. I hate having that feeling where I'm letting everyone down or how I feel like I'm not doing enough" Valeria began to rant

"Where is this coming from?"

"Been feeling it for a while with all these bad things happening I keep thinking that the old me would've never dreamed of this happening. I wish it was just me again with Klaus tearing the world down without a care in the world" she scoffed now more calmly.

"Instead I'm here watching him sacrificing himself for someone he loves and that was just me a couple of years ago. I hate this feeling. All I can do is think if it would be better if it was over..." she looked down again, shedding tears.

"Valeria I do not understand what you're saying" he placed his hand on her chin making her look up. "What is wrong?"

"I'm wrong again" she looked down showing him her hands making him gasp. "Valerie and the rest are upstairs trying to find something but I can't I don't think I can do it anymore...keep fighting"

"You have to..."

"For what Elijah? For some hope that one day eventually it'll be okay? That someday everything will be okay in the world and we will all be okay?! Guess what I've been doing that all my life!" The girl began to raise her voice. "Thinking that one day after all the sacrifice, all the hurt, one day we will all be okay..."

She stopped feeling her mouth trembling again and she waited to be more calm now. "Elijah I've been alive for almost two centuries. When will it end? When will I be happy? What about all of you? You can't tell me there haven't been moments where you tell yourself you'll be okay after all the hurt and somehow think that'll get you through every time. I'm so tired that I can't do it anymore..."

"You can't give up, you have to keep going. You have built yourself such a beautiful life. It's almost over, Valeria, you just need to hang on for a little longer..." Elijah comforted her bringing her in closer.

"I don't think I can..."

"Yes you can if I learned something about you over the years is you can do it and you will do it. I'm sure there's a way to fix you and you will get your happy ending and so will the rest of us just not the same way..." Elijah said, making the girl pause.

"What do you mean?" She furrowed her brows.

"With Niklaus dying...Hayley dead..." he sighed and took a moment. "I wasn't supposed to tell anyone at least not yet but now that you're like this I want to make sure I get to say goodbye..."

"Elijah..." the girl tilted her head, feeling the tears pouring down.

"I have to, my place is with him and I'm sure that we will all be okay and after you're better you will get to live the life you wanted. Just push through Valeria..." he then brought the girl into a hug and she held him as well tightly.

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After Elijah calmed the girl down he had left to get Klaus who had escaped.

She found out Freya had found a way to transfer some of the magic into Elijah to give Klaus some time to say goodbye.

The girl was sitting down in the room waiting for Kol to come back with the twins to tell them what was happening when she figured out herself what was going on.

"I figured out what's wrong..." Valerie entered the room with Nora and Mary Louise.

Valeria just looked up to them waiting for them to explain.

"The spell was meant to work but not that fast..." Nora handed the book to Valeria. "I'm so sorry for not figuring it out earlier. The spell had to be set for a while for it to work permanently. Since we woke you up before it only gave you some time before the dark magic made its way back...Val I'm so sorry I know you were so happy"

"No nora it's okay...this is good.." Valeria smiled. "For a moment I thought I was done for but this is okay...you'll dagger me to perform the spell and then wait until..."

"No Val then we're back at square one without you..." Mary Louise stopped her.

"No well be okay we'll do this later for now it's about Klaus and them. Please promise you will not say anything okay?" Valeria warned getting up from the couch.

"But Val..."

"Please guys we'll worry about this later right now it's about them they have enough to worry about...and please don't tell my brothers" Valeria insisted to them and then turned around to walk out.

They understood where the girl was coming from about not worrying the rest.

Valeria probably had days before she would go mad but if they did the spell earlier it would be better so she didn't have to spend much more time daggered but they also knew the girl was stalling not wanting to face all her problems at a time but eventually she had to.

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Valeria wandered outside the room where Klaus and Elijah were talking. She wanted to give them time but all she could hear was Klaus trying to get away to do everything by himself and she couldn't allow that.

She had already let him pass by once without saying goodbye but she couldn't let him now especially when she saw how much everyone deserved to get closure from him.

"Sit down" Valeria stood at the doorway pointing at the couch watching how Klaus was about to walk out.

He sighed and turned to Elijah who just put his hands up in defense and walked out. "I do not need lectures from you! I trusted you to not tell anyone!"

"Oh do not put this on me! I wasn't the one who snitched, Elijah came to me and made me stop you" she walked in closer to him now standing face to face. "And I'm glad he did because what you were doing was unfair"

"Me?! Unfair?! I am trying to save my child!" He exclaimed while the girl just scoffed, shaking her head.

"It's not just that Klaus! You were taking away the right to all of us to say goodbye! After everything!" She shouted back to him."everything you've done to us! All those years of hurt and happiness and you just leave without of goodbye? What type of person are you?!"

"I had to do it, Val Hope was dying..." he calmed down and sat down on the couch while Valeria followed as well, sitting next to him.

"And how do you think she was going to feel when she found out you were dead because of her? It would've broken her just like it would've broken us. She deserves closure we all do, especially after the hell of a life you've made us endure" Valeria stated and the man just sighed and looked down.

He didn't say anything, he knew she was right but he hated that. He hated that she was right.

"God I hate you so much right now..." her voice broke and she looked away from him.

"You hate me?" He looked at her watching how there were tears in her eyes while she nodded.

"Yes I hate you. I hate you for finding me that day in the woods I hate you for bringing me here I hate you for keeping me close by all those years it was because of you that I went through all of this! And I hate you for it because that's not even most of it and I was only around you for a century imagine what the rest went through with you! And now because you simply decide you take the right of saying goodbye away?! After everything?!" She was almost in tears and the man was speechless now regretting his decision.

"So you have no other choice but to hate me?" He asked in a soft voice, actually feeling bad for her.

"Yes and since we're blaming everything on you now...I hate you because thirteen years ago I made a decision to save you and your family and it ended in one of the worst consequences ever..." she took a deep breath and looked down to her hands showing them to him. "And those consequences have come back to haunt me..."

"No..." he took her hands and shook his head. "Tell them to put it into me!"

"What, you're dying and now you decide to take everything bad in the world with you?" She scoffed, slaking her head.

"I'm serious Val..."

"I know but...I'm a lost cause Klaus, yes it can work, it'll give me probably two months before it comes back again it has to be rid of the right way" she breathed out while the man continued to hold her hand.

"I'm sorry...for everything I made you go through all these years and I'm sorry you have to go through this now..." he brought his hand up wiping off her tear that was falling down her face.

"I still hate you..." she smiled and he did as well. "Even if you chose to say goodbye I hate you for dying...but..." she took a deep breath and looked up to look him in the eye. "I especially hate you for making me love you, Klaus mikaelson.."

Klaus tilted his head with a frown and quickly brought her into his hold not letting her go. The girl just held onto him sobbing. He didn't let go until she was fine and calm. That's when he pulled away.

"I love you too Val and I thank you for sticking by my side all those years and for bringing the best of us out with your kindness you always and will always have a place in my heart..." the man said while he still held onto her but he was facing her now.

"You will too" she smiled and wiped off her tears. "So please Klaus say goodbye to Hope and the rest I beg you because if you don't you'll regret it..."

She got up from the couch and gathered herself and looked down to him one more time giving him a smile.

"Thank you, for everything" she said then took a moment before she walked out.

Klaus just looked back to her watching as she walked away.

It was supposed to feel like they got closure but it was the opposite.

There was a hole made that will never get filled up because neither of them could ever be replaced.

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Valeria was in her room looking through things trying to keep herself busy. She didn't know when she was going to tell everyone but she knew the sooner the better.

The sooner she did the spell the sooner she would be back but having to wait and knowing what was going to happen was driving her insane.

She didn't understand why the last time her decision was so easy. Maybe because she did it in the moment and at the time she didn't know what she would miss but now she had gotten a glimpse of all she missed.

She didn't even want to begin to think how she had promised Kol she wouldn't leave again or how she would let the girls down.

She hated that it was happening. She had already made it through without sacrificing herself but somehow the world came back to punish her.

Suddenly she was interrupted when Kol entered the room. She quickly wiped her tears off and turned to see him.

"Where are they?" She asked him, trying her best not to break down.

"On their way with your brothers..."

"My brothers? Why?" She asked before she could say anything.

"I don't know, I called Alaric and he told me they were on their way..." he replied and the girl just furrowed her brows and looked down. "Val what's going..."

"The table is ready, they're waiting for you two," Valerie announced at the door, interrupting the two of them.

"Thank you, we'll be there" Valeria smiled and began to walk to the door ignoring Kol's gaze on her.

She didn't know why Stefan and Damon were on their way and she didn't want to worry about it. Whatever problems she had or they had weren't her problem for now all she cared about was saying goodbye to Klaus and letting his family have a good night with him.

She didn't want Kol to worry either knowing he would put everything on hold for her and she didn't want that. She wanted to worry about it after she processed everything the night was going to throw at her.

When they arrived at the table she sat with Kol and listened to all the stories they had to share even if she had heard them a thousand times she didn't care.

All she cared about at that moment was her being there with them. Even if she was going to see them again she didn't know how much she was going to be robbed of them and the rest.

She would understand why Valerie wanted everyone to know if anything she was being a hypocrite for making Klaus say goodbye and she wasn't even telling anyone.

Although she had a reason she was going to tell them and say goodbye but it wasn't going to be until the night had passed.

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When dinner was done everyone gathered in the courtyard where the bonfire was in a circle.

"...long after I'm gone." Klaus began as everyone listened. "You will all come together, time and time again, to take care of each other. And that is why I'm not afraid...for your future. Though I may be leaving you tonight...this is not the end of the Mikaelsons. Always and forever."

"Always and forever." They all said in unison.

"I need a moment." Klaus took Hope's hand and walked away with her.

Valeria stood next to Kol holding her in his arms while she cried.

"There's something else we need to discuss..." Elijah stepped forward and turned to face them then looked at Valeria. "Two actually..."

Valeria immediately got out of Kol's hold wanting to stop Elijah. It was too soon to tell them she was planning on waiting till everything was done but before she could even stop him they were interrupted by someone walking in.

"I imply that one of those things has to do with them being here?" Rebekah looked at the two men walking with the twins.

"Excuse me for a second..." Valeria sent Elijah a warning look but didn't dare to look at anyone. She just gestured to her brothers to follow along with the twins.

Once they reached upstairs she made the two Salvatore's walk in her room and then she turned to the twins.

"Could you girls wait in your room? I promise I'll explain everything when I'm done talking to them" Valeria told them and they obeyed.

The girl then took a deep breath and entered the room shutting the door.

"What the hell Val!" Damon immediately began to shout at her the moment the door shut.

"Why are you guys here?" She asked calmly.

"Are you kidding?! Why are we here?! Be thankful Valerie called us! You wasn't planning on telling us?!" Damon continued to shout at the girl and she just looked at him with a hurt face not knowing what to say.

"Damon calm down..." Stefan told him, setting his hand on his shoulder.

"Calm down?! She's about to make us go through this all over again! And she wasn't even going to bother to tell us!"

"I didn't know how to!" She finally shouted back. "I haven't told anyone but the heretics, Klaus and Elijah now even Kol knows because I don't know how! And I'm so sorry I was planning on telling you guys but not right now look around their world is falling apart and I can't give them another problem right now..." she breathed out trying to keep it together. "But I don't have much time either..."

Damon frowned, feeling bad for raising his voice and walked towards her. "I get it, I'm sorry I didn't mean to..."

"No it's okay that was me a few hours ago yelling at Klaus for dying..." she scoffed and wiped the couple of tears she had in her face. "I'm so tired of crying...part of the reason I didn't want to say goodbye"

"Then let's not because I believe you'll be back" Stefan stepped forward. "And we'll be here"

"And if I'm not I'm going to be pissed and I will come and haunt you for an eternity, understand?" Damon told the girl making her scoff.

"I thought you guys wouldn't take it well..."

"Oh I'm trying my best to keep it together trust me but you've stayed strong for us all this time now you deserve our support" Damon brought the girl into a hug. "I love you Val and I'll see you in a few years I know I will because even if I wanted to I cannot get rid of you"

Valeria laughed and pulled away then moved onto Stefan giving him a hug. "If you take longer and Damon is gone by then know I will still be here I made you a promise to always be here for you"

"Thank you" she pulled away now in tears. "I really needed this because I know I'll be a mess when I have to tell the twins and Kol and everyone else I need someone there that will be okay"

"We'll be here" Damon assured and Stefan nodded.

"Tell us what you need and we'll do it" Stefan said then turned to see the door was opening.

"You just decide to snitch on everyone first klaus now me?" Valeria turned to see the heretics walking in.

"Val we were willing to listen and wait but the sooner we do the spell the faster you'll be back with us we can't let the darkness manifest more..." Nora explained and turned to Valerie.

"So we think you should say your goodbyes now so we can get on with it" she added and Valeria sighed turning to her brothers.

"You'll be okay we'll be here the whole time" Stefan reassured and she nodded, turning back to the heretics.

"Let's go then" they all moved out of the way and let the girl through.

Valeria stepped out of the room to see Kol rushing down towards her.

"Val what's going on?!" He demanded and the girl paused taking a breath. Valerie and the rest immediately walked out and got behind the girl.

"Kol please just give me a moment..." she begged him while tears formed in her eyes again.

"Then tell me what's going on!" He walked closer towards her and the girl looked down, not daring to look him in the eye.

"Kol please just..." Valeria sighed and moved the sleeves off her hands showing them to him. "It came back..."

"No..." he began to shake his head and went to take her hands. "It's okay we'll fix it.."

"Yeah we will, they found a way but I have to leave again..."

"No.."

"Kol I have to say goodbye to the twins. I promise I'll explain everything just please let me have this one moment with them" Valeria insisted as she pulled her hands away. "I'll explain everything.."

Valeria walked past him since he was stuck there speechless. He couldn't believe it was actually happening again; he didn't want it to be true.

He just watched as the girl disappeared into the twins room.

When she entered both of them were sitting down on the same bed and immediately looked over to her the moment she walked in.

Valeria just smiled at them and went to sit down on the bed with them.

"Mom, what's wrong?" Josie asked, watching how Valeria was close to crying.

"I have to tell you guys something..." she got more comfortable on the bed and took their hands. "This time I've been with you guys has probably been the best time I've ever had in my life and that says a lot for someone old like me...and I want to thank you both for making my life so much better..." Valeria took a pause and looked down.

"I am sorry for not being able to be the best mom but this whole thing is new to me I didn't have much experience and trust me if I did would've never done what I did thirteen years ago because that robbed me of watching you two grow up and I will forever regret it..." she paused again watching how both of them looked down to her hands. "I'm so sorry for doing this again but I promise that this time it won't be for long I promise..."

"But mom..." Lily tilted her head, whining.

"I know I know and I'm sorry but I promise it won't be long I'm going to come back in a year or two I promise '' Valeria held onto them tightly.

"I don't want you to go..." Josie was now in tears making Valeria's heart shatter into little pieces.

"We just got you back," Lily added, sobbing as well.

"And you'll have me back in some time and when I am I promise I'm going to make up for everything I missed okay and everything will be okay" she brought the two girls into a hug.

"When are you leaving?" Lily pulled away asking.

"Maybe tonight..." Valeria answered and saw their reaction. "The sooner I leave the sooner I'll be back"

"But what if we need you?" Josie asked.

"If you need me if you really, really need me you tell Kol to wake me up and I'll be here okay?" She placed her hand on Josie's face. "I will always be here for you but right now I can't and I'm sorry for doing this for you two and if I could go back in time I would take it back but life doesn't work that way..."

"Could you just stay a little bit longer? There's no other way?" Lily asked and Valeria nodded.

"Unfortunately no this is the only way and it will work I promise so..." Valeria gathered herself back to talk. "For the time I'm gone I want you both to remember I love you and I will forever will with all my heart and I am not abandoning you because I don't want to be your mom being your mom has been the greatest thing I ever done and it's a honor that I got to do this..."

"Remember that everyday I love you both equally and I can't wait to be back to see you grow. Lily you'll be okay you're not broken you are amazing both of you and you'll be just fine" she told the girls watching as they cried. "Don't say goodbye to me I'm going to be back I promise you that okay? So promise me you'll be okay and you'll make memories and tell me all about them when I come back okay?"

"Promise..." both said but they weren't as happy and convinced.

"So give me one good hug and after this I have to see Kol and I might be gone okay?"

Both of the twins nodded and went into her hold staying in her arms for a good moment

"I love you two, so much" Valeria pulled away.

"We love you too" both of them said watching how valerka got up the bed.

Lily immediately got up and hugged Valeria again and she quickly hugged back.

"Lily...baby I have to go.." Valeria tried her best not to break down.

"I don't want you to..." she sobbed and Valeria pulled away and kneeled down to face her.

"I don't have a choice..." she wiped her tears off. "I'll be back okay..."

"Lily let go.." Josie got up from the bed and took her twin into her arms. "I got her..."

Valeria smiled and got up but before she did she gave both of them a kiss on the forehead.

"I'm going to miss you mom..."

"Me too" Valeria frowned and turned away walking towards the girls.

As much as her body wanted to walk back to them and hold them and never let go she couldn't.

She had to keep going. She was doing this for them so that they didn't have to be without her for as long as they were before.

Once she finally reached the other side of the door she took a deep breath then looked down to see everyone in the courtyard waiting for her.

"Go we will be with the twins" Nora told the girl with Mary Louise.

Valeria nodded and headed down the stairs where everyone was.

"So all of you just want to leave us?" Rebekah asked, looking at the girl with a sad face.

"I'm not leaving I'm going to be back I promise what's three years to you guys?" Valeria defended giving them an apologetic look.

"It's good V we will be here waiting for you as always" marcel stepped forward and pulled her into a hug.

Then Valeria moved on to Rebekah, then Freya and then cami. She finally paused when she reached Hope.

"Why?"

"Hope trust me I didn't want this I'm sorry" Valeria frowned looking at the girl.

"Just promise me you'll be back" Hope stepped into a hug.

"I promise '' Valeria hugged back then pulled away turning to see Kol. "It's time to do it Valerie is waiting"

Kol nodded and took her hand to lead her away. She took one last look at them, sending them a smile.

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When they reached the room she stood there paused not knowing what to tell Kol.

"I'm sorry..." she muttered, making him turn to her.

"You don't have to apologize, this is not your fault" he replied to her.

"It kinda is...I did this to myself..."

"To save me" he stopped her and pulled her in closer. "I understand and I hate this but what is there to do? The world just doesn't want us together..."

"It seems like that but I'll be back and we'll be together finally and we will be okay..." she put his hand on her face, easing into it. "We've been apart from each other always whats a few more years?"

"I don't want to live apart from you Val I want to be with you for the rest of my immortal life.."

"I want to too and we will when I'm back okay so just please dagger me and let Valerie get to the spell..." Valeria tried to reach out for the dagger but he stopped her.

"Just a few more minutes please..." Kol lowered his face letting their noses touch, holding her close.

"Kol I'm going to be back this isn't forever" Valeria took the dagger and placed it into his hands.

"Val please..." Kol sobbed as the girl as well.

"You have to do it Kol..." she leaned in and gave him a kiss.

The kiss was long and passionate. She could feel that Kol didn't want to let go but he had to. It hurt her to do this to them. She hated it but she had to hope that one day she would be back even if the rest didn't.

She had to be the one with Hope for them even if it hurt her heart just as the dagger made its way in.

All day she had been remembering all the memories she had lived, none really compared to being daggered, only the feeling she felt when she turned íntima vampire.

The one thing that had begun it all.

The reason she was there in the first place.

It was crazy to think that very thing might've been the reason that took her out in the end.

-well...it's not the end stick by for the epilogue to see what happens.