'I once had a thought but don't know where it went, 'cause I've been living off soda and cheap cigarettes.'
*cw for mentions of drug use/abuse*
Name:
Alexei Ivanov
Pronouns:
they/he
Gender:
gender queer
Sexuality:
Pansexual, but only feels romantic attraction towards men
Ethnicity:
Caucasian
Nationality:
Russian
Hobbies:
drums
music
guitar (it's glittery so he's very attached to it)
tarot reading, inspired by his grandmother. can also read palms and has premonitions about people that he often struggles to distinguish from intrusive thoughts or really vivid dreams
skateboarding
Zodiac:
Scorpio
Age:
22
'I wanna boy to keep the bed warm while the whole house is freezing. I wanna boy who isn't anything like me.'
Occupation:
works in travelling road shows as a medium and tarot & palm reader
lives in a trailer
street performer on the days when he's actually conscious (plays guitar and sings as a street performer for extra money)
'I can be a handful, but that's why you've got two hands.'
Personality:
seems intimidating and grumpy but acts carefree and laughs a lot around his friends
fiercely loyal
reckless. likes climbing trees only to fall out of them again
headstrong
proud of his sexuality and isn't afraid to be effeminate
nihilist, but in a way that means he makes things matter for personal reasons because he thinks nothing ultimately matters
cuddly with the people he's close to
overthinker
will never talk about to problems! to anyone!! he's so annoying like that!! but he will listen to everyone's problems. they are literally like a human confessional. people come to him for readings and just end up telling him everything. he doesn't mind. they are very trustworthy and patient
flirtatious as fuck
'You took me out to wine, dine, sixty nine me, but didn't hear a damn word I said. I see right through you.'
~NSFW~
Position: Switch, but isn't really a big fan of penetrative sex when he's on top, unless he's really into whoever he's with and they're into it too, in which case, he will go to hell and back to make them feel good. Prefers oral and hand stuff and enjoys making his partner feel good. He doesn't like to get off in front of other people - it makes him feel vulnerable and uncomfortable (intimacy issues much?). He's had a lot of really bad relationships with abusive and manipulative older men, so if he lets you touch him just know he trusts you a LOT. In general he can't really cope with topping/being dominate all of the time. He seems to have loads of energy for that sort of stuff at first and will always instigate because he doesn't know how to get close to people romantically if it's not through sex, but if this is a long term thing, he will eventually want the other person to instigate and take a bit of control sometimes. And giving up that control takes a LOT of trust for him.
Virgin: lmao no. He sleeps with random people to fill the void so he doesn't have to feel anything
Turn ons: neck kisses, getting his partner off & making them beg. Likes it loud. If he's bottoming, he likes being degraded and used
'So I swallowed all of it as I realised there was no one who could kiss away my shit.'
Mental issues:
Bipolar but medicated so is coping. Is really forgetful though so often has to be reminded to take his meds
Used to be addicted to drugs (mostly cocaine but smoked a lot of weed too) but is also working on getting over that and avoids alcohol because it makes the cravings worse and triggers his bipolar as well. They actually went to rehab after their third overdose, something he never tells anyone about because they were embarrassed they needed the help. Rehab offloaded him to a psych ward because they couldn't deal with him because he had drug-induced psychosis on top of all the undiagnosed bipolar. The psychosis was terrifying, so he just smokes now and will smoke weed if his insomnia is bad and he hasn't slept for a few days. Gets triggered quite easily though so relapsing is not out of the question.
He has a tobacco tin that he takes everywhere with a metal lighter, both of which used to belong to his grandmother. They keep a polaroid of him, his sister, and his grandmother that he's had for 15 years in this tin so they can look at it whenever they roll cigarettes.
'Give me a call if you ever get desperate. I'll be like one of your girls.'
Family:
Mother:
Nikita Johnson. She's not very present and never was when he was growing up.
Father:
Louis Johnson
strained relationship so he doesn't have his last name
homophobic and dismissive of Russian culture, so got a lot of hassle from him growing up, constantly being belittled, put down, and shouted at. Never felt loved growing up, arguing with his dad CONSTANTLY, which culminated in him getting kicked out at 16 after a blow up fight where their father broke a guitar their grandmother had given to them before she died. Hands down one of the worst moments of his life despite the fact that he's overdosed at least twice.
Sister:
Ash Ivanov. Loves her so much. She took care of them loads when their addiction was bad which they feel terrible about because he's the older sibling and feels like he should be taking care of her instead.
Grandmother:
Polina Ivanov. Raised him and his sister so they love her so much. She died when he was 10, forcing them to move back in with their parents. This sparked his serious downward spiral and reliance on drugs to cope. He misses her so much but hardly ever talks about her.
'You are only coming through in waves. Your lips move, but I can't hear what you're saying.'
Pets:
rats, Basil and Thyme, that free-roam his trailer. he has hammocks and platforms attached to the ceiling for them to get around in
Fears:
his father
people he loves dying
relapsing. the psychosis was honestly so scary for him that he looks physically ill when he thinks about it. he is very embarrassed about this but sometimes when they think about it too much at night and are already feeling a little paranoid, they are scared of the dark and what might be in it, or what his brain might invent lurks in it, so sleeps with fairy lights on (if they sleep at all)
Height:
5'10
Face claim:
Our boy has tatts (and has absolutely tattooed themself multiple times)
His eyes are brown around his pupils but become this really clear bluey-green
Style:
He wears this jacket like ALL the time. He and his sister bought denim jackets and decorated them together so he's very fond of it
Scenario 1:
You're at a carnival. It's loud and bright. There are lots of rides and stalls with games ran by different people. You wander off to a quieter part of the grounds where you find a tent with a sign outside advertising tarot and palm readings. There's a guy stood outside smoking, blowing smoke rings into the dark night sky. He looks you up and down with a smirk that gives you chills. "Fancy a reading, gorgeous?" he asks you in a thick Russian accent. You...?
Scenario 2:
You've known Alexei a while now. Every time they come into town with their carnival, you go along, not because you particularly enjoy the carnival, but because you particularly enjoy him. Every time he's around, you end up hooking up and have amazing sex, the best sex of your life, in fact. You feel a little bad though because he never gets off, looking after your needs but pushing your hands away if you try to touch him between his legs. He insists he prefers it this way, that he likes your arrangement, but if you try to ask them why, they shut down. They always seem to shut down if you ask them personal questions, but he lets you talk about yourself and whatever you want to talk about for hours afterwards, deep into the night while he chain smokes and caresses your bare skin, pressing soft kisses to your shoulder. You tell him things you've never dreamed about saying aloud to another person, and he never seems to think any less of you and never makes you feel judged. He's a safe space, someone to vent to or cry to or chat shit to til all hours of the morning.
They make you feel like no one else ever could, to the point that even when he's not around, he's all you really think about. You can't date or be with anyone else because you can't help but think of him and know you'd be having a much better time if he was there. The thought of them out there in another town hooking up with someone that isn't you... that makes you feel sick.
This time, when the carnival comes to town, you're not just going to hook up with him - you're going because you want to ask him to be yours.
Scenario 3:
whatever you fancy
~featured songs~
Soda - Nothing But Thieves
I Wanna Boi - PWR BTTM
I'm Not Okay - The Weathers
Right Through You - Alanis Morissette
Paul - Cavetown
One Of Your Girls - Troy Sivan
Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd