Behind every glory, there's a story. Strategic changes often come with huge sacrifices
*****
The Good News.
Thankfully, the exam had not even started when I got to the class. So, I made my way to my usual seat in the front row of the class. Moments later, the invigilators came in with booklets and answer sheets. Soon, the answer sheets and booklets were distributed to everyone. Luckily, for me, the exam wasn't as cumbersome as I had anticipated. As soon as I finished my exam, I headed home. I didn't bother looking for Imran because I knew he might be busy at that time and he also had an exam by noon.
I was almost starving to death by the time I got home. Teslim and Mum were beading a necklace in the living room. My mum was a nurse and usually would be in the hospital by this time of the day but it turned out she was on a night shift.
I was excited that I was through with my exams. After weeks of intense work and study, I was finally going to take a break. I was only left with two years to graduate from the university. The thought of graduating at twenty-one made me even more excited. I really could not wait to graduate and get a job as soon as possible. This was my plan all the way, it was my biggest wish to graduate early and start earning to save my mum the stress of providing for my every need. For some reason I was tense; Maybe the thought of me being independent and all.
I have never been on my own before and I have no idea what the future has in store for me.
I lazily plopped down on the cushion in the living room and rested for a while before I headed to the kitchen to fix something for myself. Teslim had already prepared some delicious porridge but I didn't want to eat it. I hate to admit it but she was a good cook, unlike me. She took after my mum.
Moments later I heard Mum yelling; "What is going on? Are you trying to burn down the house again?"
"What! No! Just that something went wrong with the toaster" And before I knew it there was smoke everywhere. It finally dawned on me that I was the one getting toast, not my bread. Oh no! Mum will be so mad. Luckily for me, the toaster was still functioning.
What just happened? How did my toast get roasted?
"What have you done?" Teslim rushed in and started opening the kitchen windows so the smoke could escape. Great! Look who's here to play the hero.
"Don't give me that crap. I honestly don't know what just happened here. One moment I was making hot chocolate, the next thing I knew my toast was roasting." I didn't realize I was shouting until I choked on my breath.
"You still don't know how to cook, do you? Is this how you're going to end up in your husband's house?" She folded her arms to her chest and shook her head at me.
"Oh No! Please don't go there." I breathed in smoke and started coughing heavily.
"Mum was complaining about you to me. She said you're stressing her a lot these days. You don't do your daily chores. You end up procrastinating until the day runs out and you always leave her to do the laundry for you. All you care about is your academics." Oh wow! I made the news headline. They've been discussing me, or should I say they were gossiping about me.
"That's not true." I furrowed my brows and started to walk away. I couldn't just take the heat. Those words hit differently. It could have been best if I didn't know what they said behind my back.
"So, you're saying mum is lying? Get back here we're not done talking."
"Well, that's for you. As for me, I don't wanna have this conversation." I walked out of the kitchen and started to head outside.
"You insolent child. You don't walk out on your senior." Was the last thing I heard Mum say before slamming the door behind me.
*****
I stood barefoot on the lawn outside the apartment, the weather was cold. It was always cold in December due to harmattan. I looked up at the sky, the clouds were so clear that I could only see blue.
When I tried to look down, I felt something warm on my chin. It was my tears.
Why the hell am I crying? Oh, she called me an insolent child. Why am I the only one always getting all the curses?
Teslim never gets any of those swear words from Mum. Even before she got married she was always seen as the impeccable one, unlike me.
She was always complaining about how slothful I was and about the fact that I paid too much attention to my academics than anything else in the world.
Yes, I gave my academics much attention just so I could graduate with good grades, and if I'm lucky I could secure a good job as soon as I graduate. I didn't want to end up like them (my Mum and my sister). They were always in the kitchen. They were a typical example of housewife material. I just wanted to be independent
Is it wrong to be different?
I was still staring subconsciously at the lawn when my phone buzzed, bringing me back to reality. I saw Kulthum, my best friend's name displayed on the screen. Without a second thought, I picked it up.
"Hello!"
"Hey, Keilah, what's up?"
"I've got great news for you Hanny...first I want you to hold your breath" I could tell she was excited from the way she was squeaking on the other end.
"Well, start spilling."
"Guess what baby girl."
"Nope, I can't guess shit. You know I suck at it" I heard her laughing on the other end.
" Where exactly are you right now?" She asked.
"I'm at home."
" I'm coming over, we are coming right now."
"Why, what happened?" I asked inquisitively.
"Nothing, I'm coming along with Salma."
"Just tell her already!" Someone yelled in the background. Sounded like Salma, my other friend.
"Anyways to save you the stress of guessing hard." She dramatically said and I rolled my eyes.
"Just drop the bomb already"
"We got the job!" The both of them screamed happily in the background, it was as if they planned it.
"We got the job?" I repeated as though I didn't hear them clearly.
"Yes baby, we did. The mailman just brought the newsletter to my house. We are coming over to celebrate it together." It was at this moment that I started screaming along with them. I put my hands up in the air and twirled around like a child, screaming: "Yes! Yes! We did it."
Before I could say anything else to them I accidentally hit the button and hung up on her. I wanted to confirm if the newsletter was for both of us or hers only.
Wait! What if it was kuthum alone that got the job? A scary thought hit me but soon I remembered that we both put down the same address because her residence was easier to locate. Maybe it was sent to my Email. I'll check to confirm the news as soon as I get inside.
For a moment I had put a brocade over the situation with Mum and my sister. I was happy again, and that was because I'd worked so hard to secure this job for myself. I sacrificed a lot of my time and energy going for interviews after interviews, both virtual and physical ones. I even went as far as attending the company's training for the new intake. That was how damn serious I was about this thing.
I was doing this for my mum because she was overworking herself for my sake. I just wanted to assist her financially in any way I could. So I decided to take up an internship. kulthum and I were online every now and then, searching for any available jobs within the city. We finally came across this on one fateful day. We immediately applied for it online and after a month of series of interviews, our dreams finally came true.
The hardest part of it all was convincing my mum to let me take up this job. She considered it a distraction since I was still in school and too young to work. At least that was what she had me believe. I didn't feel that I was too young for the job, besides I could handle the stress. I'm saying this with conviction. I wonder how she'd react to this news.
My stomach rumbled, reminding me that I needed to feed the worms in my intestines. So, without a second thought, I made my way inside.
"What was that screaming all about?" Was the first thing I heard the moment I stepped into the living room. That was Mum questioning me. She didn't have that rotten look on unlike earlier before.
"Oh, that?...uh! Remember that job vacancy we saw online? So Kulthum just called to inform me that we got the job." I studied my mum's expression to see how she'd react.
"Alhamdulillah! (Praise be to God)That's great news. This calls for a celebration." She surprised me by putting on a bright smile. "I'm so proud of you. To think that I didn't think they would actually consider the both of you since you're undergraduates and inexperienced." I swear I had thought so too. But I hoped for the best while expecting the worst.
"Wow! You girls are really lucky." I was taken aback when Mum stood up and pulled me into a tight hug. "Congratulations! Sweetheart. I'm proud of your achievements, all of them."She said into my ear and squeezed me even tighter.
"Thanks, Mum, but we weren't lucky. It was our hard work that paid off." I said so because I didn't believe in luck. I only believed in hard work and prayers.
"You applied for a job? Why didn't anyone tell me? " Teslim inquired as she gently put the already beaded necklace inside the baskets of beads beside her. That was what she did for a living. She made jewelry from beads and traded them, one of the numerous talents passed on to her by my mum.
"Yes! I did." I answered the first question, excited as Mum released me from her hug. "And probably because you're no longer part of the family." I jokingly answered the second question with an evil smile.
"Ha ha ha! That is not funny. Anyways, congrats." She stood up and came to me, setting her arms wide for a hug. I slowly slip myself into her arms. It's been a long time since I last felt this warmth.
"If there's anyone who misses you more than myself, it's definitely me and not Mum. I miss this warm aura oozing from you. I'll choose you over a pillow, any time. " I snuggled her a little tighter.
"There's no way you'd mean that. Now shut up and stop talking nonsense."
"I swear, I mean it even though I can't convince you." And it was true because nobody ever believed me when I said such things. It's not my style.
"I can't believe it. You're Sharing height with me now. Look how tall you've grown." My sister was saying as she pulled out of our hug.
"Oh! You finally noticed that? Perhaps I'm a few inches taller." I chuckled and after a small silence, she started praying for me in Arabic language.
"Congratulations once again Honey...this is your stepping stone to success and Independence. To whom it's given much is expected. Do not misuse this opportunity" Now she was talking like mum. "Channel all your energy into becoming better, if not the best. Barak Allah Feek (May Allah bless you)"
"Amin!" Mum and I said in unison. I had to look at her again to be sure it wasn't Mum who was putting on my sister's face because she was acting more motherly than usual.
After the sweet moments with the most precious family, Allah (God) blessed me with, I finally entered the kitchen and served myself some porridge, while Teslim and Mum went back to beading.
"Where are my little minions?" I asked as I put a spoonful of porridge in my mouth, noticing that I hadn't seen any of my sister's three kids. Since I got back from school.
"They're sleeping in Umma's room."
"Oh! No wonder this place is so quiet. If they were to be here Mum would probably be screaming for help right now. They are always stalking mum like little ducklings." I laughed at my thoughts.
"My kids are not ducklings. Would you please stop comparing them to animals?" Teslim complained, almost looking hurt. She was always so sensitive when it came to her kids.
"I was just pointing out the fact that they're always stressing mum whenever they're around. Kids bring both trouble and headaches. It's impossible to raise kids without falling sick now and then."
"Now, is there any scientific proof to what you just said?"
"It has not been scientifically proven, but common sense tells me."
"We'll see how much of a headache kids really are when you get married and have your own kids ." Mum chipped in.
"Oh please! Don't say that again." I said almost choking on my porridge. So, I quickly pushed it down with water. "No offense, but I don't wanna end up like the both of you. So, could you please do me a favor and not use the word 'Marriage' near me again? I don't wanna hear it, thank you."
"And why is that?" My sister questioned quizzically.
"Because I'm not mentally prepared for anything, besides marriage is a burden. It's like tying your destiny to another person's destiny. You'll have to be in the kitchen every now and then preparing God knows what when you can just order food from a restaurant. You're always running around caring for the kids, while the dad only has to go to work, eat, sleep, and order you around. Somehow you're obliged to worship your husband. I mean, what is all this slavery for?"
I'm not cut out for this type of mental punishment. Marriage has never been my priority. I've made up my mind to be ambitious and useful to myself. So, that at the end of the day, I'll be of value to humanity.
"Oh wow! So that is your own idea of marriage. What a childish concept.Mtchewww!" That was Teslim being annoyed again. She was really mad this time.
"When the time comes for you to get married you will not only be mentally prepared but also physically prepared for every step of the journey," Mum stated and excused herself to her room.
The silence was getting really awkward since Teslim had refused to talk to me. She thought I was making fun of her. I was only speaking in a general sense, besides opinions are not always fact. I cleaned up the dining table and excused myself to my room.