Hope Ashford
It's been a week okay? A fucking week and Adrian doesn't talk to me the same. I don't know if I did something but this is killing me. Why did he change all of a sudden? I wonder if it's because he doesn't want Nina to think he likes me. Whatever. I've been wanting to tell him how I feel but I haven't gotten the right time yet. I'm determined to tell him today.
I woke up extra early just to get ready. I plan on saying I have somewhere important to be, we go to a private place, and boom I tell him. I just really hope he says that he feels the same way. I don't know what I'm going to say or how I'm gonna word it but I'll just pray it'll come out naturally.
I think of places while I get ready. I was thinking about the park but maybe I should find somewhere more private. Maybe a different park where there are hardly any people. WAIT. I know just the place. There's this one park that I used to go to with my friends, it's almost always empty. It's not too far away. I could get there walking in a good ten minutes.
I can feel my heart beating faster and faster. I'm so nervous. I take deep breaths as I continue doing my hair. "Calm down," I tell myself. "It's gonna be okay."
Once I'm done getting ready, I take a few more breaths before walking downstairs. Lucky for me, Adrian is already standing there. "Are we going somewhere, Miss Ashford?" Miss Ashford? What happened to him calling me Hope?
"Yeah, just follow me," I say, not asking him why he called me Miss Ashford instead of Hope. I walk out and he's behind me, not next to me like always. What is up with him? Why the sudden change? I get more nervous. What if I misunderstood things and he doesn't like me? Relax Hope. I'll get this over with. Maybe he just wants to stay professional but still likes me. I truly hope that's the case.
We walk in awkward silence. I want to say something but I don't. I'll do all the talking once we're at the park. A part of me is regretting doing this, but another part of me is cheering me on. I have a gut feeling that he feels the same way. It's just my head getting into me making me doubt my gut.
I can see the park from a certain distance. I try to relax myself as we get closer. From what I can see, it's empty. We cross the street and we finally make it to the park. I can feel my heart pounding. RELAX HOPE.
He's still behind me. "Adrian," I sigh. "I need to talk to you," I manage to say. I turn around to look at him. Our eyes lock and I get even more nervous.
"What is it, Miss?" Adrian asks.
"Stop calling me Miss, you were calling me by my name a few days ago," I finally snap.
"I'm trying to keep this as professional as possible," he explains. I exhale in frustration. He's joking, right? I opened up to him, I know about his horrible love experiences, we talked to each other like friends, and I'm fucking in love with him. All of a sudden he wants to keep it professional? He should've kept shit professional before I fell for him like an idiot. I'm getting impatient so I walk up to him.
Adrian Newman
She's walking up to me. She cups my face with her hands. My heart beats faster every second. "Adrian," she starts. "I think I love you." My entire body freezes. I can feel myself starting to panic. No, no, no. This can't be happening. 'Hope won't take you seriously, she has played guys who literally shit money and you think she'll commit to you?' Fuck. "Say something."
"I don't love you," I say, removing her hands from my face. What a fucking lie. A lie that stabs right through my heart because I crave her love more than anything else. My heart beats for her and there's not a second that I'm not thinking about her. She's everything to me, but I can't. I can't let my guard down.
"What?" she asks, her voice starting to break. "But I thought—"
"You thought wrong," I lie. Lies lies lies. "I was honest with you since day one Hope, I don't do relationships."
Tears start forming in her eyes. She turns her face away from my direction. "I want to go home." I want to tell her that I love her, but how can I be so sure what she feels for me is love? My heart aches as she walks away from me.
How am I supposed to be one hundred percent sure she loves me? What if she's just messing with my feelings? I feel like an asshole for assuming that but I can't help it. I'm not letting my guard down again, I can't. Even if it hurts to let her go.
She pulls her phone out and sniffles. "Jeremy," I feel like an idiot but I can't get hurt again. Besides, Hope doesn't love me. She could have anyone, it's hard to believe that she would want me. "I need you to pick me up. I'm at the park that has a lake." I stand there awkwardly. "Okay, bye."
We stand there not saying a single word to each other. A part of me wants to ask her if she really does love me, but I doubt it. I hate to admit that Brenda's right. Hope has had multiple boyfriends, and she has probably thrown the phrase 'I love you' around without actually meaning it. What can guarantee that she meant it when she said it to me?
Jeremy got there quite fast, Hope got into the passenger seat. I guess she's really that upset. Maybe she's just not used to getting rejected. The entire way back to the Ashford's Mansion was quiet. Uncomfortably quiet.