Ever since I first made the profile of 'Maria Thomas' on Instagram, I've been receiving messages from all kinds of guys - young teens, middle-aged uncles and even guys pretending to be girls.
This isn't the first prank; it's just one of the lot, and after this, I'm still laughing and cringing immeasurably over the 'romantic' chats and the way people call Maria their 'dear, sweetie, baby, love' etc.
The Arvind account doesn't exist anymore, only the Maria one does, since Arvind became Maria ever since the crazykid prank; but Maria is the real deal. She's the one luring perverts into her cave and then mauling them mercilessly. She's nothing like the sweet, innocent, nice-to-strangers Rose - she's a total burst.
It's just that it's all the same person; Rose is Maria, Maria is Rose.
Not knowing this, more than twenty online perverts have brought themselves to me in the form of either a fake account or a real one. One of them was this, my latest and cringiest one till now: A guy named Sam.
His name was written as Sam, but I didn't bother to ask him his full name since I really didn't care. From looking at his account, I could tell that he made this whole fake account just to chat with teenage girls like Maria.
He was really annoying, you can see that clearly from the first few messages. Always saying 'dear', and always messaging Maria a romantic 'good night, good morning, good evening, etc' like a caring boyfriend (intense cringe).
No, I don't have anything against love or romance, but I'd rather dump a 'caring' boyfriend like this than get spammed with stupid messages like these. I love my poor Instagram chatbox too much to let it get spammed mercilessly.
He then proceeded to call Maria (the Pinterest girl) pretty, not even bothering to search it on Google and find if it's real or not. Obviously, it isn't.
Him: What u do?
*Oh my God. What u do, seriously?? That sounds ULTRA PRO MAX INTENSELY cringe, like a first grade student saying English!
Adam's grammar may have been worse, but at least he said 'What do you do?' in this way 'Wdyd?' which means 'What do you do?' and is grammatically correct. But this... This violated my 'no-cringe rules' again.
Me: I'm a student.
Him: I'm working as a manager.
*And still, this kind of grammar which is worse than a student's? Wow.*
Him: What u study? In which class?
*Proceeds to facepalm and sigh at the 'What u study' thing. I guess he didn't listen when his teacher taught about 'do, does, and did'.*
You all know I'm in 8th grade right now and moving on to 9th, but here, I was Maria Thomas, a 16 year old half Indian-half Australian girl who's very pretty and very smart. So yes, I lied genuinely.
If that even makes sense.
Asking someone where they lived....is the purest form of a creepy pervert. They've no reason to know that.
But of course, I lied again. Bangalore was far from where I lived so it wouldn't even leave a clue at who I really was. I was completely Indian, a 14 year old student, and so, being Maria made me a whole new different person sometimes.
Him: tell me something about you dear.
*I nearly spilled the truth at that:
Ok, so, I'm a freaking fake account made by a girl who wants to prank ugly ass perverts like you and teach them a little lesson that they won't forget for sometime. Enough?
However, I kept it in for now.*
Me: like how?
*Don't mind me, Maria is pretty dumb for a smart girl*
Him: like hobbies, what u like, interest and everything u like to share.
*That proved much more of how he's a pervert. He wants to know more, more, more, until he will ask something which is too much.
It was really understandable that he wasn't asking such stuff genuinely and was only using it as a way to get to Maria.
He's too obvious, dumbass.*
Me: hobbies, I like to read books and draw.
*Pure lies. I suck at drawing like this dumbass sucked at intelligence.*
Him: I am a hobby photographer.
*So? No one asked.*
Him: like to click wild life. Places.
*Again, no one asked.
Him: and telephotography too.
*OH MY FREAKING PATHETIC DEVIL OF INSTAGRAM how many times did I tell myself, NO. ONE. ASKED.*
Me: *proceeds to reply with useless oh, I see, and nice*
Him: how's ur life going on.
*Better going than your brain cells*
Him: how u spend ur day
*By spending it*
*He continues his cringey shit while I attend my precious online classes and rolls my eyes by the time I see all these spam*
He sent me a 'Happy Holi' photo on Holi, which I replied to with a same to you, to which he replied with a long paragraph of some random Googled up shit which I didn't bother to read. I can just get it from Google; I didn't need his 'romantic' wishes for that.
Kaeso ho meant "how are you?", which is the question I HATE LIKE ANYTHING. I mean, asking that once is okay, but always, like what? Blah.
And oh God, I was almost fed up of this shit he was spewing in my chat, which even poor Instagram might've to read and be cringing on right now. I felt bad for it. The kiss emoji was making me puke.
Then, he said that he missed Maria.
Wow, really? How cute!
Keep missing her, don't miss your wife or children, alright.
How can you seriously miss someone with whom you've no connection at all, not even an emotional connection? I mean, for example, I'm not being a creep when I say that I genuinely miss Adam - I miss him because we were friends. Because he was so different from these kind of pervs. Because he asked my choices and wishes genuinely and not to get to me.
All these guys are so unreal, so weird, when compared to Adam.
Me: why?
Him: whole day was waiting for your message.
*Aw...
Go die.
My eyes just did a flip flop at your grammar*
Ah, there it comes! See, I told you, I knew it, I was waiting for the time it finally came!
'Can I call you?'
No. Fuck off.
Him: oh. I wish if we can. Pls.
*Ugh, now he's forcing it. If it were a REAL girl, I'm almost sure she would've accidentally fallen to his pleads. But I came here expecting this, waiting for this, so of course I won't call him. Let the game begin!*
Me: no... You're only a stranger.
*Plus a pervert. Plus a dumbass. Plus an old ass who probably has a wife and children.*
Him: still I'm a stranger?
*Oh yes, what do you expect by that 'still'? Maria's virtual husband?*
Him: if we talk we can be known to each other.
*Don't worry, I already know about people like you*
Him: we can be close if we share our feelings.
*And him thinking inside might be this: not only feelings though...
¯\_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯*
Him: it's only if we can talk dear.
*Talking doesn't make anyone close, you damn idiot. That needs some specific aspects, like a close bond, friendship, emotional connection, trust, respect and that's not for creepy asshole idiots like you!
Only one guy on the internet had the ability to be connected with me emotionally, like a good, caring friend, and sometimes I even felt like he was a protective brother to me, during those moments when Arvind asked him about me and he answered on my defence. I didn't see that in a romantic way; it felt more like being protective in a brother-ish way, and I found it sweet of him.*
Me: still can't be close...
I can talk but even then you're still a stranger.
*I hope he's internally crying and shocked over Maria calling him 'stranger' like a chant. Hurting his fragile feelings.*
Him: we will (replying to my "Still can't be close" message)
*No. Never. Get those hopes up your ass*
Him: let's talk, I believe we will have a best company.
*Best company? Is that the name of some new brand or something? Never heard of it.
Ok but seriously though, can't he leave Maria alone? This is the best step: he isn't respecting boundaries, another aspect of creeps.*
Him: I really need a friend with whom I can talk, share my happiness my sorrows and can share my feelings.
*Don't think I'll fall for that. What, are you so antisocial that you don't have a person in your own house or a real friend to talk with?*
Him: I will give you my love and keep you happy.
*Pukes* Ew no thanks, I have enough love from my own family and friends and they're far better than yours*
Him: really wanted to share everything create memories.
*The memory he might be referring to:
Maria Thomas sent you a message: Love you baby!
Which will never happen *
Me: I do too but we still can't be too close.
*Because you smell that bad that Maria might die from extreme air pollution.*
Him: we can come close to every possible extent.
*How about 'NO'?'
Him: only if we both want to come close.
*That is what she just said, you blind dumbass! NO!*
Him: we can, how much we want.
*Ugh, this dude is really dumb, he just said 'Only if we both want to' and now, back to being forcible.*
Him: how much u want to come close say?
*Staying 10000000000000000000000KM away from you.*
Him: but still, can we share everything?
Can I share my love my affection with you?
*How about sharing those stuff with your wife first?*
Maria decides to be dumb again: like how?
Him: like talking with each other, sharing love sharing secrets sharing feeling.
*So he didn't listen to the grammar classes about comma either.
And can someone tell me why this sounds so cringe, like he's writing a story or something?
'Sharing feeling, sharing love', yucky shit.*
Him: I will share everything with you.
U can ask me anything.
*Have your kids gotten married yet?*
Anddddd then.... The expected question is asked, just like I hoped for.
Him: tell me about ur fantasy about love making.
*Is that what you call sharing feelings, sharing love, creating memories, HUH?! Sharing feelings is genuine and respectful, not this stuff.
Creating memories is something that happens over time, not in just one day. Creating memories is like when Adam asked me my favourite places, hobbies, subjects, and I asked him too, so we practically knew everything about each other's choices though we've never met.
We knew each other emotionally; not physically, like where he lived or any other personal details. Those details don't matter when you're genuinely good friends who wanna know about each other, in a healthy way.*
Me: huh?
*Decides to play dumb for the third time today*
Me: I don't have any.
Him: ok. But ever u feel like doing.
*Question mark needed. The sentence should be 'But you ever feel like doing?'. Go study grammar, dumbo.*
Me: no. I don't like to talk about it either.
*Maria's danger mode: switched on*
Him: about sex?
*Here, his character slowly starts to come out...*
Me: I told you we have limits.
Him: but y?
*Because Maria's too good for you and you're out of her league.*
Me: because you're only a stranger and that subject is bad.
*Personally, I hate the WHOLE concept of sex. I mean, when I read a romance book and everything goes well, the writing is awesome, and the characters get emotionally connected well, then suddenly, they start having this 'thing'. It honestly breaks the whole mood for me and I leave the book, feeling unhappy at the sudden change of mood of the book - from being emotional, adorable and cute to being horny, objectifying women/men, and being a totally disgusting character then onwards.
Also, I'm asexual, I hate sex, and I don't ever want to date anyone either, but I stand strongly for a person if they love anyone truly and they're emotionally connected well. I also love writing romance books (with no smut of course!) in which the characters get well bonded without the sudden interruption of this 'bonding'.
Him: but it is not wrong.
It's natural.
*Natural, only if it happens between a couple, married or in love. Not between complete strangers on Instagram, that too with the girl saying multiple times that she has limits.
You're practically sexually harassing a girl if she agrees to your force, but obviously, since Maria knew this from first and she started this account itself for this one, she will pay you back for your forcing and perverse behaviour. The irony, a guy in fake account decides to harass a girl in internet and ends up being harassed by her instead, who is also a fake account but not a creep. Haha, get that sucker!
Me: but talking about it with strangers is.
*You don't need much brain cells to know that, but seeing that you don't have the courage to even come to Maria with a real account, you're quite brainless.*
Him: I too like to do sex.
*Really? Try doing it with your doggy then. I hope it bites off your tiny bud of a cucumber.*
Me: I don't like it. It's not natural for me.
I don't, and I hate talking about it.
*Get it into your empty brain, bruh!*
Him: pls at least now we are talking.
We can share.
Pls.
*Who said you can? Did I permit you to?*
Me: no we can't.
We. Have. Limits.
*Maria almost reaching the highest limit of her danger mode*
Him: :(
Pls.
*Maria decides to be Rose again - danger mode on.*
Me: well that's how it should be.
Bcoz I'm not even a girl lol, I'm a boy and obviously better than one like you. Shut the fuck up and get lost, shitty jerk!
*Yayyy! Mission accomplished!
Also, the reason I'm saying I'm a guy is because that adds more drama to the chats, and plus, he might get really creeped out at that. He might also get to know that that all guys are not like him, good ones exist.
Like Adam.
Ugh damn enough of that, we all know Adam is better than these jerks okay, so shut up.*
Him: I really want to make u my closed friend. (He sent this message right at the second I sent mine too)
*Closed in what? Your bag, suitcase?*
Me: and I hope you NEVER find a girlfriend 😂
Him: why are you behaving like this.
What's wrong.
*Now he decides to act dumb*
Me: oh yeah? I understood what your 'close' means, idiot XD
I'm a total fake account and a guy.
Search the pic I've posted on Google, you'll understand🤣
*I decided to totally go off my control, since these shitheads definitely don't deserve my 'nice-to-strangers' behaviour.*
Him: :(
*Dude don't cry, you don't want your wife and kids consoling you while you're crying over a fake girl.*
Me: GO. FUCK. YOURSELF.
Bye jerk ❤️🤣
Him: if you want to do this it's bad 😔
*Bad? BAD? What right do you have to say that, you fucking -
Ok, fine, but really. If it was another person seeing our chats and saw only this message, they would be easily convinced that I'm the villain and he's just being a poor nice guy.
But whatever, I don't care. I know I'm doing a right, even though it's a small one. No one can convince me otherwise*
Me: at least better than perverts like you.
Now go die please.
*I'm begging you*
Him: I don't know why u r behaving like this.
What's wrong I did with u.
*Everything. Not only with Maria either, I'm almost sure you might've messaged other girls or guys and they, being innocent, would've fallen for your tricks. I'm sorry for them, but I hope you stop doing this shit after this prank.*
Me: bcoz you're a pervert and a useless creature.
Talking about sex not knowing I'm actually a guy is the first mistake you did. Haven't you ever heard of something called 'privacy'? And limits?
*Let's go total nuts!*
Me: you need to learn those stuff. If you don't you'll probably end up in a cell soon. Wishing you for the BEST! 😂
*By the BEST, I completely meant wishing for you to be in a cell, preventing you from harassing any more girls/guys.*
Him: still I don't know what's wrong I did with u.
*First of all, this non-satisfying, cringey, awful, grammar of yours. Secondly, talking about private stuff.*
Him: I said I need a friend.
*More like friends with benefits.*
Him: u said we can.
*That's part of the drama, idiot*
Him: just to keep trust in us I agreed to share all mine with u.
*... My brain cells have officially died*
Him: but in revert of it I been ditched.
*Aw don't worry, if you keep going on with your stuck-up messages I'll just ditch you again using a new Instagram account.*
Me: Talking. About. Sex.
Are you mad? Whoever talks about it with strangers online?
*I know you're not just mad, you're psychotic, but just asking*
Me: not even real friends talk about it. If you want a REAL friend then be a fucking man and not a cowardly pervert.
*I have lots of guy friends, some online and some my classmates. I don't think their friendship means 'not having limits' and 'talking about sex'. To them and me, friendship means a healthy, non-toxic relationship, or maybe even seeing each other like siblings.*
Me: yeah right😂 you don't have a limit in lying omg, you just wanted sex talk and that's it. That reveals your character.
You deserved it, get it shithead.
Him: :(
*Proceeds to block him, completely blocking him from spamming my innocent Instagram chats ever again and blocking him from Maria's life.*
Like blocking all the negative, toxic stuff in my life, and welcoming only the positive things, I blocked him too. That was it; the end of Sam's drama.
But of course, it's not the end though.
I will surely be calling him some more 'stuff' from my other account: The Hidden, my anonymous account. After that, I'll be proceeding to the next online predator.
My journey never ends, and I'll keep tricking such perverts as long as I can.
Actually, people like Sam should be in jail for - sexual harrasment, forcing, and so on, but I can only do this much as a teenager. Besides, I don't really believe in the law.
I believe in my own law, my mind, and that these kind of perverts who often turn up as rapists/abusers, should be killed mercilessly or tortured, not kept in jail with securities and delicious food like they're VIP's.
Secondly, the law does do injustice sometimes by letting free of real criminals due to any kind of influence and can accuse innocent, poor people instead, ruining their lives forever. Even judges can be corrupt.
Only if normal, non-suspicious people (like me, for example, because no one will ever suspect that I'm Maria or The Hidden) act against such problems and defend themselves, can we live in a peaceful world with no corrupt criminals or injustice.
I just know, for a fact, that I can definitely be one of the people to try to change it.