The moment he changed his mind, Shen Tingwei returned home in the shortest possible time.
He knocked on the door but without waiting for a response, he realized that at this point in time, his father probably hadn't come back from school and it was naturally inconvenient for him to go to school to find his father when he is pregnant.
After walking for too long just now, his calf was a little tired. Shen Tingwei stood at the door and rested for a while, thinking of the milk box at the door.
His father was a very old-fashioned university professor who devoted himself to academics, as if work was the only priority in life.
He had often heard his mother complain helplessly: "It's okay if you don't care about your family but can you treat yourself a little bit? If Weiwei and I are not at home, I don't think you can even get in the door."
Later, whenever the mother found out that the father had forgotten to bring the key to the house, she simply put the spare key in the milk box at the door on the same day, so as to avoid the father coming back too late, knocking on the door and disturbing Shen Tingwei's rest.
Neither father nor mother liked to drink milk but they always asked him to drink a lot. Perhaps after he disappeared, the milk box was completely idle. A thick layer of dust had fallen on it, covering the original pale green color of the milk box.
He never did try to take the key from the milk crate, so he had to put his hand into the crevice for a while to feel it and he really found a thin key.
He just don't know if his mother put it down to avoid his father rummaging when he forgets it or if he put it down so that he can enter the house when he returns.
Shen Tingwei opened the door and was hit by the dust raised when he pushed the door. He coughed and waved the dust in front of him and walked in.
He don't know if it was because of a premonition, Shen Tingwei didn't have too many complicated emotions when he saw a house that was completely different from the past and had not been cleaned for a long time.
The family portrait that originally hung in front of the dining table has been removed, leaving only some abrupt traces that are much whiter than the wall because it has been covered for a long time. The family photo, which he took with his parents in a bachelor's uniform when he graduated from college was standing by the door of the kitchen.
Shen Tingwei held his breath for a short while, he don't know if it was because of the unbearable dust in the airtight air or because of other reasons, his legs might gave out because he was walking too fast on the way home just now and at this moment it was like being caught. Filled with lead, every step he took towards the half-human-high photo frame was heavy and tormented.
When he reached out to touch the photo frame with his back facing him, he found that his hand was shaking a little, and the weight of the photo frame was not as heavy as he when had hung it by himself. He turned the photo over and understood the reason.
The glass embedded in the frame was gone leaving only the thin bottom plate and a somewhat faded and dusty photo that wasn't properly sealed.
Shen Tingwei seemed to have lost all his strength because of his trembling hands and the photo frame that fell to the ground. He dragged the chair beside the dining table with a harsh sound and sat down. After holding his breath, the oxygen-deprived brains began to feel dull pains again. He took a deep breath and coughed up tears from the dust in the air.
In fact, there is no need to think about it, Shen Tingwei knew who took down the photo frame and who completely shattered it.
Father never thought of this. He would only calmly say something when his mother was angry: "Talk to me when you calm down."
Shen Tingwei yelled at his father hysterically at that moment as if he could see that his mother's backlogged emotions had completely collapsed and his father waited for her to finish his anger without saying a word. Shen Tingwei thought that maybe it was at the moment when the photo was shattered that his mother decided to leave him.
He took out a few tissues from the paper drawer on the table and wiped the tears off his face with the one at the bottom that was not stained with dust.
He sat in this deserted home for a while, as if in this short period of time, he recalled many memories that he had deliberately put away.
For example, when he came home after reading in the evening, the quarrel in the house stopped when the door was opened and his mother greeted him gently in a strange atmosphere: "Why did you come back so early today? Go wash your hands quickly. I have left a meal for you."
For example, he read in the novel that Alpha and Omega still fell in love even though the matching value was not high. When he retold it to his father, his father raised his head from the newspaper and said to him with a straight face, "Shen Tingwei, you can't be so naive anymore. If you go down, you can’t survive in society like this.”
For another example, on the night of his birthday every year, he mentioned that his wish this year was still a happy family. His mother touched his head and said, "It will come true."
Shen Tingwei often thinks that he is the happiest child in the world because he has the most gentle mother and the smartest father in the world.
But he never thought that his family's happiness would be wiped out in a car accident.
The night before he was arranged by his father to go on a blind date, his mother persuaded his father softly as usual: "Weiwei is so old, let him find someone he likes..."
Then, without waiting for her to finish speaking, her father interrupted her with a cold sneer and asked her: "You stay at home all day long, what do you know? Let me ask you, do you know the rules of how society works? Of course he can find it himself but what if he can't find it? What if it's not suitable? Can you support him for the rest of his life?"
At this time, the mother was silent and then said as if nothing had happened: "I'll take care of him. Of course I want to take care of my son."
Her father showed an unreasonable attitude towards what she said and did not want to communicate with her anymore.
Shen Tingwei thought of the mother he had just seen from a distance.
He had seen pictures of his mother when she was young. She was very beautiful with a small face and slender but lively eyes.
Today, she wore that long lace dress that she obviously liked but often couldn't wear because she had to do housework. A black top hat decorated with tulle and pearls on her head. The white hair that Shen Tingwei had never seen on her mother's head stood out.
Shen Tingwei watched his mother hold the jasmine in her hands cherishly and get into Mr. Beta's car. He thought his mother didn't like jasmine.
Mother once expressed her liking to him. She said, "The flower I like is, of course, roses. How can anyone not like roses."
After she said this, she seemed worried that her words would affect Shen Tingwei's mood and added cutely: "No, I thought about it for a while. My favorite is carnations and the second is roses."
A love that represented her fiery but unrequited love—a stupid father who never noticed her preference.
One represents all her family affection - the carnation that Shen Tingwei gave her on Thanksgiving was well taken care of by her.
Shen Tingwei still remembered that his father told them at dinner time that he had replanted jasmine in his hometown last weekend. His mother was clearly very happy but she pouted and said, "Why do you only remember what your son likes? Why can't the manor keep half of it for me?"
It was as if his father came to his senses slowly and asked her what she liked. She thought about it and said, "It's still jasmine."
Although Shen Tingwei was a little dissatisfied with her mother's answer, he was not surprised because her mother always ranked her own preferences behind her son and her husband, as if in her world, if she was sorted by importance, she would also automatically put herself in the order of importance. But behind the son and husband.
So the moment he saw his mother, he didn't call out to her but felt a tightness in his throat.
He didn't seem to have seen his mother look so happy for a long timenwith that kind of heartfelt smile on her face. She turned her ears to talk to Mr. Beta, took a small step deliberately and implicitly to avoid the distance between the two being too close and appear to be out of shape.
The surprise and excitement she showed when received from the flowers was something Shen Tingwei had never seen before, as if it was what Mr. Beta called a 'girl', he looked at her and felt that she was a shy girl at that moment, even though her hair was a little bit white, the corners of the eyes doesn't have obvious wrinkles and even the behavior is not as unnatural as eight months ago.
Even when Shen Tingwei watched the inexpensive and somewhat old car leave, there was a feeling in his heart that maybe his mother should have lived like this.
Emotions affected the pain of the wound making him withdraw his thoughts from the short-lived memories.
Shen Tingwei got up from the chair and walked into his parents' bedroom first.
It had been a long time that no one had come back from the family. There was a dark yellow suitcase that was too big to fit in the closet which Shen Tingwei would find awkward and unsightly every time he entered his parents' room, disappeared.
He opened the closet. His father's dressing style was always very simple. The slightly brighter trench coats that his mother had bought without authorization were all hung on the hangers. The father only took away the old ones.
As stubborn and old-fashioned as ever but as he wished, now he finally doesn't have to rush back from school in the middle of the night every night for the demands of him and his mother.
Shen Tingwei calmly closed the wardrobe and then opened the locker that kept all the important documents and valuables in the family. He saw two identical green notebooks, room books, his graduation certificate from childhood to adulthood and a few medical insurance cards, only a stack of poor paper flyers.
Flyers with his picture, lost statements and bounty calls.
The words used in it are objective, coherent, and concise. Shen Tingwei read it roughly and wanted to laugh a little out of time. He could even imagine his father's calm appearance when he wrote these messages after he disappeared. No wonder the mother was so angry that she smashed the family portrait.
He was about to close the drawer when he heard a light sound of something heavy hitting the board.
He was stunned for a moment then opened the drawer again. He reached in and touched it twice and took out his repaired mobile phone.
Shen Tingwei returned to his bedroom with the phone that he hadn't turned on for a long time.
The furnishings in his bedroom were the same as when he left with light blue wallpaper and childish asteroid charms hanging from the chandeliers.
Shen Tingwei's own bedroom was not as big and bright as the one in Lian Jue's villa.
But he has lived in this small bedroom for more than 20 years. On the wall in front of the desk is his study plan as a child and his career plan after graduation.
When Shen Tingwei found his charger from the drawer he plugged in his phone. He took off the sticky note posted on the wall.
He saw that he once wrote foolishly:
1. Be familiar with the professional code of the law firm as soon as possible. √
2. Be the first to check in at the law firm every day. √
3. Read the books recommended by Qin Lu.
4. To train as soon as possible the ability of oral expression.
5. Learn to read, listen and think more. √
6. To take over the next case independently.
Then, finally, he wrote a more stupid sentence at the back:
Lawyer Shen needs to cheer up today! !
Obviously it was something that he saw every day before but Shen Tingwei wanted to laugh at this moment.
Of the five books Qin Lu recommended to him, he had only read two.
Oral expression skills are also not very well practiced. He often started to tense and simulated multiple times the day before he needs to speak.
Not to mention taking on the next case independently, he has been an intern in that famous law firm for half a year and is still in the stage of receiving visitors.
Shen Tingwei sometimes felt that he was not suitable for studying law and it was even more difficult to become a qualified lawyer but he was used to following the plan given by his parents from a very early age. He was also used to not letting other people's hopes for him fail.
He stared at the piece of paper for a while, trying to stick it back to the wall intact but the sticker behind the sticky note was no longer sticky, so Shen Tingwei had to clip it into a certain book on the table.
He turned on the charged mobile phone and entered the unlock password several times, all of which were incorrect. Then he suddenly realized that this mobile phone used the digits of his past number.
Shen Tingwei opened his social software and the phone got stuck as soon as he logged in.
The unread reminder popped up in the constant vibration of the phone and recently the chat interface was quickly filled with overwhelming messages.
Shen Tingwei picked up a few good friends and some of them sent many messages in the past eight months.
Most of them asked him where he went and why he didn't come back. There were many ugly insults interspersed with the Alpha who had a blind date with him.
Shen Tingwei stopped sliding his hand and looked at it probably saying that he killed Shen Tingwei, how could he still have the face to get engaged to his new boyfriend.
Shen Tingwei just glanced at it and then rowed away. Basically the last message from these friends was to say happy birthday to him a week ago.
There were a few very touching pieces of news that Shen Tingwei wanted to reply but he finally held back, as if everyone had acquiesced his disappearance as the most negative result and he didn't want to scare others so suddenly.
Shen Tingwei was sitting at the desk, flipping through the circle of friends aimlessly. He was a little absent-minded to see that his former good friend had a new friend he had never seen before. The good news of his upcoming marriage released by his classmates. The one who was an intern at the law firm who didn't like him released a celebration feast for the perfect conclusion of the case.
Shen Tingwei's dazedly sliding hand stopped at this dynamic and suddenly thought of a memory fragment that he had not noticed before.
It was the Beta who was at the same time, was a year younger than him and was often scolded by the seniors of the law firm for being careless and some other small problems.
On the contrary, Shen Tingwei seems to be being taken care of by everyone all the time. Whether he organizes files or drafts documents, he hardly makes any mistakes and he is often praised at weekly meetings.
So even though Qin Lu never mentioned turning him into a regular, Shen Tingwei has always been enthusiastic about his job.
Because he was very careful, Qin Lu seemed to have plans to promote him and often asked him to help sort out the case files.
One day, Shen Tingwei sent the sorted case files to Qin Lu's office. Qin Lu's door was left open and he stood at the window with his back to him and said helplessly: "Yes, he is very good. I know. Yes, I've read his excellent graduation thesis and I've always been very satisfied with him... How can it be related to sexism? I don't mean it, hey, you can get in touch with him when the time comes. Just know, it's not a question of ability, it's a character, it's really inappropriate."
Shen Tingwei thought that he was on the work phone, so he didn't think much about it and kept at the door waiting for him to finish the call before knocking.
It was only now that he remembered that Qin Lu had a strange expression when he saw him and said in a stiff tone, "Ah, Xiao Shen, are you all done?"
Shen Tingwei suddenly had an idea.
It seems that the past he has been worrying about him gradually getting better in the years of constant loss.
His father got his wish to have more time to do the research he had been pursuing all his life. His mother finally had her ideal happy life. His friend had a new friend and Alpha, who had a blind date with him. He also found the right marriage partner, the intern partner who was dissatisfied with him because he was always crushing him, also he became a qualified lawyer.
It was clearly something to be happy about but after Shen Tingwei tried his best to pull the corner of his mouth, he found that he didn't seem to be happy at all.
Shen Tingwei thought a little pessimistically, in fact, not so many people needed him.
He thought that everyone was going on with their lives better in their own way.
He thought that his twenty-three-year-old wish was not entirely in vain.
Safe and smooth, the family is happy and healthy.
It's just that he exchanged his own safety for everyone's success and he exchanged his own well-being for the happiness of his family.
Shen Tingwei stared at the slowly extinguishing mobile phone screen, thinking deeply that he didn't seem to be happy because he was back here.
When he came back to his senses, the sky outside the window had dimmed in his long stunned look.
He touched the restless baby in his belly. The gasping sound suddenly became very fast. Maybe the baby felt his uneasiness, maybe he was angrynand he kept hitting his stomach which caused the cramp-like pain in his brain, forcing him to suddenly became a little more awake—someone needed him.
Shen Tingwei suddenly thought that someone needed him.
He thought when Lian Jue apologized to him on the phone. He said in a low voice and awkwardly, "It's my fault."
He hadn't had the time to say, "It's okay" to Lian Jue.
He haven't had time to say to Lian Jue, "Then you must accompany me on my birthday next year."
The severe pain from the lower abdomen to the forehead made it difficult for Shen Tingwei to maintain an even rate of breathing. He sat on the chair for a long time to calm down his breathing but he could not get any relief from the pain. When the phone was half charged, he lay down on the bed.
The dust floating on the quilt and pillow made him cough uncontrollably and every vibration under his chest made his brain tingle like a needle.
Tears burst in pain. He couldn't help but shake his shoulders. He couldn't stop coughing. The lacrimal glands secreted more and more tears.
He was gasping for breath, unable to control his trembling hands and dialed the number he had memorized in his blurred vision.
"Sorry, the user you dialed is an empty number. Please check it before dialing—"
Shen Ting did not hang up the phone under the prompt tone. He added the area code and dialed again but the cold mechanical tone was still on the phone.
"Sorry, the user you dialed is an empty number. Please check it before dialing—"
He replayed it over and over after the automatic hang-up that prompted the end.
"I'm sorry, you called..."
Shen Ting thought about it, 'When will you come to pick me up?'
"I'm sorry, you called..."
Shen Tingwei thought about it, 'I don't want to stay here anymore.'
"I'm sorry, you called..."
Shen Ting thought about it, 'The baby and I miss you so much.'
"I'm sorry, you called..."
...
[UPLOADER'S NOTE:
“This caused me tears, 😭. Anyways, I'm actually multi-tasking. I'm reading while editing and because of that I really read the story text by text which felt more painful in my opinion.”]