It had been 6 months since Hyunjin was presumed dead from the incident that happened at Felix's family's mansion. And yet, it felt like it was just yesterday that Felix witnessed the situation tragically flow out.
Over the first month at the hideout along with the other 5 individuals, Felix bluntly refused to remove himself from the darkness of his room until he came to terms that Hyun-jin was dead, which he never did. He just couldn't believe it, it didn't help that Han was nowhere to be found afterward, making it even harder on Felix when he saw Minho go through the exact same thing he was facing.
Yeji finally confessed that when she and Hyunjin were younger, Their parents indeed went on a mission but they never returned; they were presumed dead after a week of no clarification of their whereabouts. But it seemed that an enemy which they had believed they were rid of, resurfaced again. Once hearing about their situation and their secret family, they targeted Hyunjin and Yeji will one goal in mind. To kill them.
One night when Yeji and Hyunjin were home alone, a fire broke out. Hyunjin ended up getting hurt to protect yeji but was apparently faced with an even bigger problem.
He lost his memories.
Yeji was no better as she along with the rest of the individuals could hear her soft sobs from the other room, to think she finally achieved her goal in finding her brother to only be ripped apart from him so aggressively. Felix couldn't imagine or even try to, knowing the amount of restraining yeji has to not just go out there and release her anger onto everyone.
Coming across with the funeral, it was not easy to face knowing you were burying people you hold fondly and dearly to your heart. Han and Hyunjin's tombstones were made next to each other but it was so hard for them to let go, facing the undeniable fact that they did indeed, lose their lives under tragic circumstances.
Every other weekend, you would find Felix at the graveyard, or at the place where he and Hyun-jin would go to relax or just to simply escape from the world. Their secret spot.
Felix would go there to reminisce about the past with Hyun-jin, the memories they shared where Felix enjoyed the comfortable atmosphere with him. The laughs, giggles, and smiles they shared was the thing Felix craved the most to relish again. He was upset by the mere fact that he didn't cherish them sooner.
But still... it was still too soon, and it wasn't unfair in the slightest. But that doesn't mean it was hardly predicted. Felix knew that there was a small chance that hyunjin and he weren't going to make it out of this unscathed, actually, it was highly likely knowing the specific situation they were put in. But alas... They were just a simple minor of young adults who truly knew nothing.
At the end of the day, things weren't the same, how could they ever?
The next morning at the small hideout was nothing to describe as normal as it could've possibly described. Just another day of Minho and Felix refusing to leave their room whilst yeji sat at the porch outside, staring at the sunrise, blankly. Ryujin had tried almost everything to soothe her girlfriend in a more comfortable manner, but her efforts went in vain. The best she could do in yeji's words was to keep a small distance so she wouldn't lash out at her but ryujin knew yeji would never do that.
"Yeji... Can we talk? I- I know that you probably won't, considering the accident that took place bu- but I just wanna make sure your ok-" "I'm sorry...." Yeji intervened, ryujin noticed the small whimper in her voice. "I- I'm sorry Ryu, I'm sorry I never told you, you had the right to know and I- I- I just couldn't." She choked, Ryujin rushed to her aide slightly panicking. She didn't know why she was apologizing in a state like this, or what even for?
"Shh... It's ok, you're not to blame for this yeddeong. You've done nothing wrong." Ryujin calmly spoke, bringing yeji closer into her chest in an attempt to block her from the world. "You should not feel obligated to tell me things if your not comfortable with it, babe. I will not pressure you." Ryujin reassured her girlfriend, making yeji cry even more from the comforting words, "God how did I get so lucky with you..." She questioned aloud, ryujin smiled at the comment. "I could say the same, Yeddeong."
The atmosphere was clean and soothing as Felix bathed himself in the comfortable silence. He sat in his room, relaxing on the bed with kkomi and kkami tucked inside the blanket. Felix went back to the apartment where he and hyunjin once lived and decided to take the two beings with him. It hurt knowing that the dogs weren't used to Felix as hyunjin, but over time, they adjusted to their new owner.
Two knocks disturbed the silence of the blonde-haired individual along with his co-mates. "Felix, can we talk?" Felix was surprised when he heard a voice he didn't expect to perceive. "M- Minho?" He questioned surprisingly. He then heard the sound of a door being open and he was surprisingly met with Minho who was freshly dressed with a nice set of clothes and even his hair was somewhat styled. "That surprised huh." He asked, noticing Felix's expression when he came into the room.
"I-, I just- yea... I am..." Felix responded, still in shock. Minho shortly laughed at how stunned his friend seemed. "I know... I'm still trying to get used to it too, even after what happened." The room caved into a dark silence from the sudden mention. "H- how did you do it minho? H- how can you l- let it go?" Felix asked softly, which seemed more like a whimper than a question.
Minho sighed before sitting himself down on Felix's bed. To himself, he truly didn't know the answer to Felix's question. Yea he still misses Han like crazy but, he felt the need to stop mourning over his death and to.... move on.
But he didn't want to feel that way, he wanted to mourn Han Jisung, a matter of fact, He wanted to spend the rest of his life with Han Jisung. To marry, to adopt children, to be insanely clingy towards each other to their last breath. But he never thought that day would come so soon, and right before they were able to truly enjoy the feeling of being two young individuals in love.
Their happily ever after started too late and ended too early if you would rather say.
"Lix... there's no explaining my situation even if yours is scaringly similar to mine. I wish I could tell you right here and now that I'm perfectly fine and that I feel no remorse or pain, but I can't. Because even if I look like it, I didn't cut the thread that attached me to him. It's still leading me on until it's truly the time for me to cut it loose. and it pains me knowing that I could never truly go on with my life knowing he isn't here with me." Minho explained the conversation turned serious instantly as Felix's full attention was directed towards the male on the right side of him.
"It's impossible to let the one person who was your everything to disappear from one individual's mind, but over time, you have to believe that it is possible to continue living with no fear or regret on what the day will bring back. I know it's hard, but you have to at least try, or you can never truly feel at peace again." Minho's words seemed to have an effect on Felix because he was already engulfing the younger in his arms as he sobbed softly.
Minho was right, and Felix knew he was. The hard part was just accepting it, in one way or another.
"They're really gone... aren't they?" Minho sucked in a haste breath, trying to hide the small tears surfacing his eyes. "Y- yea..." He breathed out, not knowing that he was putting him and Felix in a tougher, but much-needed situation.
Minho pulled Felix off before gripping onto his shoulders, the eye contact being received on both ends, "We got this, Ok?" Felix nodded, wiping his tears off with his sweater. He turned back to Minho and gave him a short smile of reassurance, "Yea... We got this."
6 months later
"Yeji, did you bring the flowers?" Felix asked, coming in contact with a brown-haired girl who was panting unconsciously, "R- Ryu's bringing them." She breathed out, trying to slowly control her breathing at a normal pace. Felix had noticed that yeji was pushing it a little too far with the amount of exercise she had been doing over the past 6 months, minus the taekwondo training with ryujin.
"Yeji... Maybe you should take a break for a while. You've been overworking yourself like crazy doing all of these unnecessary things-" "I can't stop, I want to- no, I need to get stronger. I don't wanna be the girl who's stay's inside the van and has no fighting experience when working and living in a world like this. That's not how I want to live my life anymore." Yeji explained courageously. It made Felix smile at how passionate she had become in such a short amount of time. It made him think if Hyunjin was watching them from up above, proud of his younger sister.
"I envy you Yej, you're a strong woman indeed." Minho complimented, "Yep, My babes the strongest there is." Ryujin intervened, pulling her girlfriend in for a short chaste kiss. Minho childishly gagged at the sight, whilst Felix awed at it. "God, could you two stop being all lovey-dovey for a mere minute or so?" A random voice spoke out. Ryujin cocked an eye while scoffing mockingly, "As if you can't stand me and Yeddeong, You're constantly around them." Ryujin defended, pointing towards one smaller and slightly taller individual on the side of the unknown voice.
"Yah, Don't go bringing me and innie into this, this is your problem to fix, Ryu." Seungmin defended. "Alright, Alright, Alright. Don't go starting unnecessary drama at a graveyard. This is supposed to be a nice get-together will all of us for Han and Hy-" "You guys are still disgusting." The random voice intervened, in an attempt to get the other to pipe down, Chan kicked him from the back of his calf, making the other fall down. "Jeez, changbin. Couldn't you be more respectful?" Chan asked sincerely, watching the younger whimper on the ground from the pain.
"Couldn't you be less harsh? That was my calf, dumbass." Changbin complained, wincing from the pain. Chan scoffed sarcastically, "Your fine, now get up." Changbin rolled his eyes before responding to Chan's command, brushing his body off from the dirt and grass that he could've landed on.
During the time Minho and Felix were restarting themselves from the tragedy that occurred over a year and a half ago. They weren't robots who could reboot themselves instantly, but over time, they managed to come to peace with their lover's deaths. In a way they didn't think was possible.
They managed to reconnect with their old friends, Chan, Changbin, Along with Seungmin and Jeongin. It was tough resurfacing their past memories and explaining them but in the end, they were understandable. And that thought themselves, made Felix and Minho more relived.
Yeonjun and soobin ended up departing from the rest of us to go on an adventure themselves, knowing Yeonjun was being targeted by the organization, whilst soobin engraved to yeonjun and himself, that he would never leave Yeonjun's side again. It never made any of them feel any hate towards the two individuals knowing how much they had been through over the years. So that left Yeonjun and Soobin off on a journey to God knows where, and in hopes of them being safe and secure throughout their time together.
Ryujin was there for Yeji the whole time she felt lost from the pain she had to endure from losing not just a friend, but a bonded blood family member; her own brother at that.
Sadly she blamed herself for the loss of Hyunjin's memories in the first place but she always wondered if when Hyunjin got back, when was it when they returned? 'Was it during School?' 'When he and Yeji first met again after being separated?' 'How long did hyunjin know?' Were Question's Yeji asked herself on the daily basis.
Sounds of pages turning were what radiated outside as Felix prepared his words for the event, a short cough was heard as he attempted to clear his throat. "As of a year and a half ago, My dear best friend, also the love of my life. Along with my dear friend's boyfriend, also known as my other half. Sacrificed themselves to protect, or save, me and the rest of our dear friends from facing the same fate they faced." Felix started, "No words can describe the amount of gratitude and love I and along with the others have felt over that period of time. And I will continue to express it in any way I can."
"Han, My other half. I'm sorry I never got the chance to be your best man at your and Minho's wedding, but I promise to make sure he is filled with the amount of happiness you could ever possibly give to him in return for you being a part of me and everyone's lives. I know these words are constantly being spoken from us to you, but let me say it one more time. Thank you, and may you rest in peace, Hannie."
Felix finished, He turned to look at minho who mouthed a silent thank you in gratitude. Which Felix happily returned with a fond smile. He then proceeded to flip his pages around, directing him to the final paragraph that he had rewritten countless and countless times.
"Hyunjin, My dramatic beloved. Ever since that day you told me you loved me, it constantly proceeded to rewind in my head over and over again, seems that some part of me wasn't used to it even after months of not hearing it." He started, "There's not a lot I can say to you that you couldn't have possibly already heard knowing how well of listener you were. But I will say this,
You, Hwang Hyunjin. Have been the glory to my defeat, the shade to my heat, and the sun to my summer. I couldn't possibly ever ask for another partner to take this journey with knowing that it has come to an end. Even if you are from afar, there's nowhere you can go that I won't find you.
Even if our precious time has come to an end, you will always be, My Secret Assassin. and no one can change that." Felix spoke, not noticing the number of looks of worry he was getting from the other individuals. They wanted to hug him, but they didn't move, knowing Felix wasn't done.
"Sleep well my beloved, I love you, and I miss you." Felix finished, Finally caving in to his inner feelings as he let out a small sob while holding the last piece of paper in his hands. But he halted, he wiped his tears in a swift motion to prevent anything bad from breaking out. And he looked towards his friends then back to minho before giving a small smile.
After days and days of practicing and Felix was proud to say he accomplished the one thing he hadn't done in months.
"I said his name Hyung..."
Felix hadn't said Hyunjin's name since the day they left him at his old home, in the clutches of Satan and hell.
Minho returned the smile towards the younger, "You did lixie... I'm so happy for you." Minho stated, pulling the younger in for a hug as he felt a water surface, Trinkle, onto his neck then shirt.
Felix was crying, "I- I did it, A- after so long... I finally said it..." Felix choked, Feeling a sense of mixed emotions cloud himself within seconds. He felt overwhelmed with joy and sadness at the same time, Felix truly didn't know what was so good about being able to speak a name after months, but it was a big deal because it was the name, "Hyunjin. Hwang Hyunjin." Felix spoke confidently, pulling away from the hug.
The event ended with everyone talking and chatting about Han and Hyunjin along with adding some of their daily lives into the conversation, but then it finally came to an end. Felix finally felt comfortable about life again, He felt comfortable within the earth's atmosphere once again. Hence commanding him to do something he had been waiting to do since he first heard Hyunjin's voice again.
He made his way over to a tree, proceeding to pull out his phone. He opened the app he had been hesitating to click on for months.
Jinnie
I miss you.....
Send ➪ {✔︎}
But completely froze in shock when he saw the unexpected
Jinnie
Hyunjin's alive.
and so is Han.
Did you think it was over yet?
Get ready for book two of My Secret Assassin ;)