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Jungkook sighed, the silence lying between them visibly pulling at his patience.
He wanted to say so much.
But, most things that desired to roll off his tongue were destructive. They were merely antagonizing suspicions that went through his head.
Doubts about their relationship. Doubts that the bond they took time to construct was decaying, right in front of his eyes. He felt so out of touch — unable to get a tight grip on their departing souls.
Devora took such shrewd measures when it came to exhibiting physical parts of herself that she had never shown anybody before.
Jungkook was completely okay with that, with the logic of her wanting to be comfortable first before presenting that vulnerable part of her.
But, she was just wearing shorts right in front of Hoseok.
They were so comfortable with one another in the span of two days he had stayed over.
What the hell did that mean? It made him question their bond even more.
Devora noticed that Jungkook's pitch-black eyes didn't bear that innocent sheen that they normally harbored.
She could see he was conflicted.
See that he was drowning in a massive collection of his own worries and distrust.
Her lips trembled apart, ready to say something. Anything to him.
But, he didn't let her.
He quelled her words before she ever obtained the opportunity to speak.
"What exactly does our relationship mean to you?"
His expression was bleak, speech sharp, mandating an answer from her.
She stammered, the sound of her beating heart pounding against her ears like a deafening ticking clock.
"Our relationship means everything to me, Jungkook." Her lips tried a half-smile, looking him in his eyes.
His head tilted like a lost puppy. "Everything?" He scoffed, her untold truths brought a seething fume to his chest. "Okay, am I a joke to you or something? I thought you and I had had something, clearly not."
"Woah, wait-"
Jungkook interrupted her. "I thought we didn't keep things from each other." His tone marched powerfully as it trampled her soft-spoken voice.
"What are you talking about? You are not a joke to me." She tackled his sentiments first, unable to keep up with the presumptions he spat out so brutally.
"Hobi, the fake fiance. I thought you loved me, so then why do I hear that you're engaged to my best friend?" His hand pressed against his chest, insulted. "I looked like such a dumbass when you walked inside holding on to him."
"All the guys looked at me with these confused expressions, like they expected me to have an answer for them." He went on with his impulsive rant. "I didn't have shit to tell them. You didn't tell me anything."
She wasn't going to comment on his spiteful wording. She understood how furious he was, and he had every right to be.
"I'm just helping a friend out. The proposal doesn't mean anything to me."
He turned his face away from her, shaking his head in dismay.
Devora followed in his direction, trying to have him look her in her eyes. "Hey. You mean everything to me, I wouldn't do things to purposely hurt you."
"Well, it sure as hell feels that way." His lips thinned, eyes upwards. "It doesn't matter if you did it on purpose or not. If it wasn't, then why am I so hurt by it? I feel so- so damn betrayed." He glanced back at her.
Her pulse stopped when that polish of glistening light was back in his two eyes.
However, this was from something completely different.
They were from tears that he was trying so hard to hold back.
"I don't know anyone that can fix this pain. It sucks."
His threatening tears fiercely impaled her in the gut.
Causing her eyes to do the same.
Being cognizant that she was the reason for his suffering was worse than any physical pain she had ever felt. To know he questioned their bond because of her was a tough pill to swallow.
Her trembling hand reached for his, squeezing it firmly. "I could fix that. I've always been here for you."
Jungkook felt a spark surge through his veins when her hand was placed on his. It reminded him of how much he still loved her, and how he wanted things to work out. He couldn't be without her.
She was his everything, too.
He looked down at her hand.
Instead of a reminiscing smile that he expected to reach on his lips, an abhorrent scowl painted on his tight expression.
He took a deep breath, glancing at her. "Why are you still wearing the ring?"
She looked at her ring finger, completely forgetting it was there in the first place. "Oh, I just forgot to take it off, it feels normal like nothing's there and I guess I just forgot?"
Devora didn't quite know how to explain the ring.
She had it on an entire day, so by night it completely went over her head that she still had it on.
Jungkook's hand slowly pulled away from her hold. "It feels... normal?" Eyebrows pinched, lips separated as he tried to fathom her words.
"No. No, that's not what I meant, stop. It's literally fake, it doesn't mean anything to me." She forcefully removed it from her ring finger, placing it on the bed. "See? Once everything goes back to normal, I'm all yours. I swear it."
Jungkook got up from his seat, his hands attaching to his face, fingers massaging the sides of his temples.
He taped his eyes shut, trying to sort out his vision.
"Okay. Okay, Devora. I understand it's fake, it's always been fake, right?" His squeezing eyes opened, fingers releasing from his temples. "After all this crap, you'll be mine, right? You said it yourself, so."
He shrugged, dropping his hands against his sides. "Well, congratulations, Devora. On being engaged. I hope you have a great time. Until it's over, I think it's best we take some time apart."
He turned for the exit, hand on the doorknob.
"Till you figure out what's real." He mumbled, before swinging the door open and storming out.
Devora had never acted so quickly, immediately getting off her bed and following directly behind the taller, furious male as he stomped through the dark hallway.
"Jungkook, please!" She called after him, voice imperceptibly quavering.
He reached for the front door, opening it and stepping outside.
Hobi's posture stiffened, startled at their suddenly noisy argument.
He watched Devora stop at the door, arms enclosed around her figure as she felt the cold wind blow against her body.
"We love each other. I love you." Her bare heel tapped against the wood floor, wishing she wasn't talking to his back. "Do you know how much this hurts?" Her voice hitched, the tears becoming more difficult to hold.
Jungkook faced the outside, keeping his back towards Devora.
The porch roof kept the rain from reaching him, but the strong wafts mangled the rainfall in various directions. Some raindrops tapped against his face, plowing down to his jacket and pooling around his leather boots.
He turned to face Devora.
She had tears in her eyes, standing at the doorway with a hopeful expression on her countenance.
Somehow elated that he turned around.
"I'm sorry, Devora. But, I just can't. These emotions are too much to handle, I can't think straight. Even if it was all fake, it seemed real to me."
Devora could feel him begin to detach himself from her.
They were detaching from one another quickly like a dwindling rose being thrashed around by the rain and disastrous wind. The once invigorated crimson petals were leaving from its sticking hold, falling off one by one with no words that could be operated to stop it.
Nothing to repair it back to its original form.
"I'm sorry, okay? I'm so sorry. Please don't go, don't— don't leave like this. I-I I'll make it right." Her words fell over each other, her vision clouded. "Right now, I'll make it better. Just don't leave, Jungkook."
Her throat burned, her wounds that he once sealed with utter patience and tenderness were re-opening.
He stood there, with absolutely no remorse written on his perfect face. His pointed cheeks had drops of rainwater, strolling down his sharp features, puddling onto his clothing.
His jaw clenched.
He looked more upset than sad, now.
"Don't give up on us, on me. You're my everything, my first kiss, my-"
"Devora stop!"
His piercing voice made her flinch, shoulders cowering.
"It's already killing me seeing you with someone else. Fake or not."
Hoseok picked his shoulders up.
He didn't want to stick his nose in their business, but it was difficult to ignore it when Jungkook was yelling at Devora.
Yelling at her for begging him.
Yelling at her for almost crying.
"I— I'm not gonna stop, I'm sorry." Her wilted shoulders rose, not backing down. "We're supposed to be together." Devora stepped outside, reaching closer to him. "We made promises to each other. We still have to finish those, don't we?"
He dropped his head into his hands, groaning at how Devora wouldn't allow him to leave.
A portion of himself was thankful, but the other part was just exhausted. She was making it harder for him to leave, and it inflicted so much unnecessary pain on him.
Devora sniffled, feeling water crash against her bare arms. "I'm not giving up."
He dropped his hands from his face.
Devora reached for one, in hopes he would allow her to comfort him, to let him know that she was there.
But, before her fingertips were even able to skim his cold, wet hands, he fiercely swatted her away from him.
Swatting her away like she was a nuisance to him.
His swift actions took her aback.
Devora physically pulled back from shock, her elbow and shoulder pounding the door frame that was behind her.
She knew that Jungkook would never hit her.
Never.
But, the solemn look written on his face reminded her so much of the time he was close to fighting in a parking lot, when she was intoxicated.
A loud bang rang loudly through her apartment from the hard impact.
She sucked in her breath through grit teeth, whining and rubbing her arm at the stinging pain that pulsed in her arm.
Hoseok lifted himself off the couch.
Jungkook's jaw dropped, confused by her frazzled behavior.
"Who do you think I am?" His hand placed itself on his chest, "Do you seriously think I would hit you?" His eyes were wide, denigrated by her actions.
"Do you think I would ever put my hands on you, Devora?" He repeated himself, his tone raved with demand.
She stuttered, having trouble finding her words as the tears finally broke loose — coursing down her cheeks.
He stepped closer to her, his hand reached on to her moist cheek. "I would never fucking hurt you." He slightly whispered his words, his eyes like blades when looking into her.
Her head was lifted, looking back into Jungkook's plain eyes, still struggling to say something to him.
Mewls clawed out of her throat, shutting her eyes, grabbing onto his wrist, and making a feeble attempt to move him away.
Hoseok placed himself beside the both of them, lightly pushing on Jungkook's chest to get him away from Devora.
"Nah, it's time you go home. Just leave." Hoseok instructed, standing beside Devora who was wordlessly stunned that he stepped in.
Jungkook stayed where he was, still trying to respect his hyung. "I wouldn't hurt her, and I didn't hurt her." He established, keeping eye contact with Hoseok.
He shook his head, adamant. "Do you not see how hysterical she is?" His hand went over her shoulder.
Jungkook cocked his eyebrows, appalled. "Wha- get out of this, it's none of your business."
"Leave her alone, she's shaking, you are terrifying her, again."
Jungkook felt his cheeks boil, unable to grasp his comment. "Again, AGAIN?" He put more emphasis on his remarks, unfathomably shaking his head.
"Yeah, again. The first time this happened you saw how she got." Hoseok brought up the incident at the club. "Now, she's here facing it again. It's traumatic for her."
"Hoseok, you are literally the reason for this whole mess." Protested Jungkook.
"Jungkook, I already told you I was just helping him out." Devora stuck up for the male standing beside her.
Jungkook just couldn't help but laugh.
Laugh out of disbelief.
It was all too incredulous. There she was, defending Hoseok, and Hoseok was now defending her.
He breathed out, chortling at their immediate bind. "Oooh, that's just perfect. It's so perfect." His tone was bitter, watching the two of them be each other's sanctuary.
"You're made for each other, I mean come on. Look at how perfect you two look together." He proceeded, "Clearly, I was interrupting something when I first got here."
Devora fought, somehow still having it in her to vocalize herself. "It wasn't what you thought. We talked about this."
He put his hand up, "Guess what, Devora? I don't care anymore. You can go back to your perfect engagement, with your perfect ring, and perfect partner."
But, he was lying.
He cared more for her than he did for himself.
He just couldn't take seeing them together, standing together and defending each other while he was being blamed.
It did a profound amount of damage to see his best friend go against him, Hobi was everything to him too.
Their close friendship went beyond phrases.
"B-But shouldn't you be happy? He wanted help, and I gave that to him." Devora continued, not wanting him to leave on a bad note.
"That's enough. I'm done."
He started his walk down the open hallway, having enough with their argument that was bringing them nowhere near a flattering outcome.
All that it was doing was breaking them further apart even more slowly and painfully.
Devora quickly dashed for the apartment hallway, glowering at his detachment.
"Jungkook." She tried to speak with a strong and powerful voice.
But, it was getting more and more difficult when he was abandoning their shattered relationship, right in front of her.
"Please turn around. I need you."
He stopped his stride, head falling down.
They stood only a couple of feet apart.
Although, for some reason, it felt like way more. Devora felt disconnected from him.
"Dev. I'm not turning around."
She swore she heard his voice falter — cracking under pressure, beneath all the intoxicating, grueling emotions he was faced with.
But, the boisterous winds and uncontrolled rainfall made it challenging for her to hear properly.
"I don't want to see you." Jungkook's voice now seemed stern, asserting his feelings.
An unbelieving chuckle scratched against her dry throat, putting her chest in even more discomfort.
"You— you don't want to see me?"
She hadn't noticed that her tears had stopped for a moment, but as soon as they came back, they were challenging to shun.
He shook his head in no.
That caused her to burst into another miniature, feeble and wimpy laugh.
"Just... just take care." Was all he said, starting his walk toward the stairway.
Jungkook still cared for her, and he loved her.
But, if he were to turn around and face her he knew he'd break down.
Hearing and seeing her cry caused by his actions was too much to comprehend at that moment.
It was best if he were to leave. Hoseok didn't seem to want him there either, and he had already put Devora through enough tears.
Devora stayed waiting outside in the hall until she saw his figure vanish.
She didn't realize how cold it was outside, or the vapor coming out of her mouth from her hot breath percolating with the freezing winds.
"Dev," Hobi called from the doorway.
She shook her head.
"He'll come back." Turning to him with a lopsided grin. "Won't he?"
Hoseok put on a doubtful expression, squeezing his eyebrows at her impossible statement.
"He would never leave me like this." She ignored his implicit words. "He wouldn't." Her bare foot tapped against the wet concrete, holding her shoulders from the cold that began to hit the nape of her neck.
"Devora. Please come inside."
"He-He's coming back." She nodded.
Hearing herself say that sounded absurd and naive.
But, she was trying to convince herself that he would never leave her. Not after all the emotions and sentiments, they shared together. Not after all her firsts she shared with him.
The weak string that tethered her composure began to rip, coming to terms with the fact that he was her first love.
And, her first love walked out on her.
Even after she begged him to stay.
She began to feel cold. But, not because of the freezing temperatures outside.
Her chest was cold, and her fingertips were like bars of icicles that accumulated on the roofs of houses.
Devora put her trembling hand against her wintry lips, sniffling.
Hobi was right beside her, holding onto her hand as he pulled her inside.
"No, Hobi." Her voice cracked, watching him close the front door and lock it. "Hobi, don't. I-"
He sighed, turning around. "He's not coming back, Devora."
"B-But, he said I was his everything? That- that he loved me, and that he'd always stay." Her breathing hitched, unable to speak without stuttering.
She felt like a child. A stubborn and immature child that was throwing a tantrum.
Hobi had no words. "I'm sorry, Devora." Combining his hair with his fingers, "I'll go bring you a towel, okay? You'll get sick if you don't dry up."
Devora caught Hobi's hand before he was able to completely pass her. "D-Don't. Please stay here."
Hoseok knew it was going to be harder on him to sufficiently take care of Devora. To embrace her and hold her hand because he liked her more than a friend.
And it felt wrong to do those things when he was aware of his feelings for her.
But, he still stayed with her.
Devora reached on her toes, placing her head on his shoulder, squeezing him tightly.
She felt his hand palace itself against the back of her head, encouraging her to release her pent-up emotions.
"It's okay to cry, Devora." He instructed, holding her with mindful hands. "It's better to just let it out now."
She wasn't planning on crying in front of her boss.
Ever.
But, she would have never thought her boss would be a person like Hoseok.
A person who just looked trustworthy.
So, she took his advice. Sobbing into his shoulder.
"He's been lying to me this entire- entire time." She wept, ranting to Hoseok.
"He's gone."
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