the 1 (t.n)

By eacamrynal

161K 3.4K 2.8K

what if the golden trio had social media . . . and bailee lupin-black {theo nott fanfic} More

introduction
lily is a milf
girlfriends
fuck house division
bailee + theo
dear future husband
:)
boy toy fights
best house
operation piss off the family
0/5 stars on yelp
new professor
horny mofo
love doctor
romione4lyfe
dress by taylor swift
newsflash: i didnt like it
happy birthday problem child
the royalty of costume parties
back to school
lets jump the snake
i need emotional support
fuck hypothetical space

green jumper

10.5K 195 170
By eacamrynal

gfs 😻

mione: bailee where are you
im stuck at the burrow with a bunch of idiots

bails: dont worry gf im on my way

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instagram

@hmione

liked by harryjames, blaisezucchini, + 294 others

back with the lomls
tagged @baileelb, @ginweasle, @lunalovey

@baileelb: i missed you so much mioneeee
@hmione: missed you so much moreeee
@roonilwazlib: its been like five days???

@lunalovey: i love you hermione <3
@hmione: love you luna 🤍

@baileelb: yw for saving you from the idiots btw
↳@theodoren: HEY!!

@harryjames

liked by fredtwin, lilsep, + 518 more

does this bitch ever leave me alone???
tagged: @baileelb

@baileelb: love you too harold😻😻
@harryjames: 🙄🙄

@parvatip: are you guys dating?
@harryjames: EW WTF NO🤮🤮🤮
@baileelb: THAT WOULD BE LIKE INCEST right @sirius
@sirius: thats right😤😤 teachin em young

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2 high 2 care

theo: psst
pssssst
psssssssssst

bailee: yes theo?

theo: do you wanna....

bailee: i do wanna....

theo: PERFECT
meet me outside

bailee: omw🏃‍♀️

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instagram

@baileelb

liked by theodoren, hmione + 628 more

we cool or whateva😎😎😎
tagged: @theodoren

@rjlupin: are those mine?
@baileelb: no dad theyre mine. promise🤞🤞
@rjlupin: okay good

@hmione: your dad just...doesn't care???
@sirius: he used to be just like bailee...still is right @jamesyboy
@jamesyboy: yes🙄🙄🙄🙄 its quite scary actually

@theodoren: i aint ever seen two pretty best friend- oh wait nvm
@baileelb: tiktok boy is quaking in his boots rn

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hot bitches

ginny: have fun with theo??😏😏

bailee: mf we are sitting right next to each other???

ginny: but so is he
so....

bailee: yes, ginerva, i had a lot of fun hanging out with my FRIEND theodore

ginny: NOT THE FULL NAME
anyways
youre sus

bailee: am i your sussy baka🤤🥺🥺🥺🥺

ginny: GOODBYE

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"BAILEE WAKE UP!" theo said, jumping on bailee's bed and in doing so, waking her up

"theo. what the actual fuck," bailee said, standing up.

"its christmas and youre the last one asleep. well thats a lie. your dad is still sleeping but sirius is too afraid to wake him up."

"as he should. my dad is . . . a little grumpy in the morning. just like me. now get out and let me change," bailee told theo, pushing him out the door.

throwing on a random jumper (one she probably shrunk of her dads) and pants, bailee walked downstairs to everyone sitting in the weasley's very cramped living area. "well hello bailee. nice for you to finally wake up," molly greeted her with a quick hug. "oh! and you too remus." bailee turned to see her dad standing next to her, looking as tired as she felt.

"did they really have to wake us up this early?" bailee whispered to him.

"unfortunately i think so," remus said, putting his arm around bailees shoulder, giving her a side-hug. "merry christmas." remus kissed the top of his daughters head.

"merry christmas."

"is that my jumper?"

"um of course not," bailee said before entering the other room and taking a seat next to luna.

everyone took turns opening gifts. bailee got books from her father, records from sirius, a load of sweaters from the potters, stationary from hermione and luna, a necklace with the leo constellation on it from theo, new muggle eyeliner from ginny (who had no idea what muggle eyeliner was until hermione told her) and ron gave her a few posters for her room. blaise, merlin love him, forgot his christmas presents for everyone.

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instagram

@baileelb

liked by blaisezucchini, lunalovey + 598 more

merry christmas from my favorite people in the world <33

tagged: hmione, gweasle, lunalovey, theodoren, harryjames, roonilwazlib, blaisezucchini

@theodoren: awww im one of your favorite people in the world🥺🥺🥺🥺
@baileelb: brb going to change the caption🏃‍♀️

@blaisezucchini: how tf are you always on the floor for our group pictures???
@roonilwazlib: cause shes clinically insane??? idk

@lilsep: where did you guys run off to?
@harryjames: just some muggle town mum
@baileelb: lily if you need us home we will be there in a second, a milisecond if you will anything for you💕💕💕💕💕💕
@rjlupin: bailee youre starting to sound like james
@jamesyboy: is that supposed to be a bad thing moony😠😠

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2 high 2 care

theo: mf

bailee: mf?

theo: do you happen to know where my green jumper is🤔🤔🤔
to be more specific...
the one you said you really REALLY liked 🤔🤔🤔

bailee: you know what theodoren
i have no clue what it is youre talking about

theo: bitch i-

bailee: call me bitch one more time😡😡😡
youll never get this jumper back 😡😡😡

theo: AHA
so you do have it
i'll be over tomorrow to get it

bailee: no you will not
its too warm to give back 🙁
its so big im so warm

theo: bitch
I MEAN DUDE
isn't your dad like...6'4?

bailee: yes
BUT
padfoot takes them all 🙄🙄

theo: ah i see
can i ask a question

bailee: go ahead

theo: why do you call sirius "padfoot" and not dad?
havent him and your dad been together for like...ever?

bailee: he says only old people are called dad or any variation of the word
so i just use padfoot like my dad and james and lily

theo: okay okay
NOW
my jumper🤲

bailee: cant sorry

theo: bailee istg

(bailee is offline)

theo: bruh i-

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famille ❤️

pads: sooooo
bails
quick question

bails: um...yes?
everyone is asking me questions today

moons: who else?

bails: theo

pads: just the boy we were going to ask about

moons: we?
who's we?
padfoot is curious
i could care less lol

pads: moony you're supposed to help me

bails: what about theo?

pads: you two...
you know 😏😏

moons: PADS

bailee: padfoot wtf

pads; what?
you have his sweater on

moons: because shes a thief
she does it to mine too

pads: then why isnt she wearing yours now??
explain that

bails: because you steal them all???

pads: i dont have them all
right moony?
(read by moons 7:17 pm)

bails: crickets

pads: whatever
this is homophobic

bails; are you forgetting we are all fruity??
or...

moons: she has a point

pads: back on track
theo

bails: youre acting like this is my first "relationship"

pads: cause it is??

moons: youre forgetting her thing with harry in third year

bails: and then my small minuscule thing with hermione last year LMAO
we were both just desperate to get over our crushes

pads: and yours was...?
(read by bails 7:21 pm)

moons: crickets

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honorary siblings

LB: harold

POTTAH: bailee

LB: please tell me your dad is throwing a new years eve party

POTTAH: why dont you ask him yourself??

LB: you gave me the wrong number...
something in those potter genes dont know how to get a number right
or copy and paste

POTTAH: rude
he is

LB: PERFECT
we are having one as well
meaning i will invite all our friends to your house

POTTAH: why not yours?
my parents and their friends will be here

LB: a bunch of reasons
one
your house is a literal mansion
mine is a cottage
two
your parents know how to throw a party
and three
revisiting the mansion point
we dont even need to be near them

POTTAH: okay fine

LB: GREAT!!!

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baddest bitches

bailee; attenuon servants!!

ginny: yes

blaise: yes queen?

luna: yes love?

hermione: hello gf!

theo: servants at your service

harry: are we skipping over the fact she just called us servants??

ron: ^^

ginny: yes

ron: she is so dramatic

bailee: youre forgetting i was raised by sirius black and remus lupin

hermione: that is true

ginny: one time i accidentally used sirius shampoo on accident
he fainted

theo: one time bailee and i woke remus up too early in the morning from laughing too hard
i got hexed
said we disrupted his beauty sleep and deserved it

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future milfs

ginny: so theo has...

bailee: shut up
right now

hermione: we will be revisiting this

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baddest bitches

bailee: enough about my dramatic family
i summoned you all to invite you to a nye party at the potters

blaise: you are inviting us to a party at the potters?

ron: you arent even a potter

luna: ill be there!

bailee: i love you luna
no complaints
party girl like myself
and everyone is coming
its cute how you think you have a  choice in the matter🥰🥰

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hogwarts elite

ginger: we need to talk about the sexual tension between theo and bailee during christmas @stars

stars: going offline now!!

(stars is offline)

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