Dear Sean,
I want to write dear darling hubby but you have snatched that right from me with your cheating ways.
I remember the way you always say 'I love you' to me but today I have this question, 'How can you say "I love you" when you cheat on me?'
It is only a phrase for you. Your actions speak louder than your words.
You say it all the time. It's just words. Your actions show me what your love means. Lying, cheating, coming home, looking me in the eyes, laying down with me every night with no connect and real emotions. Words are words that hurt now.
You not only told that 'I love you' to me but you used to tell our friends how much you loved me.
Was it a cover to hide your cheating?
You have just verbally abused me with your words. You have manhandled me until I stopped talking. You are not supportive of me and my emotions after you were caught with your cheating.
What have you done to us?
You get very angry if I cry.
You get mad if I don't talk.
You say that you are waiting for me to blow up if I try to talk .
It's getting over my patience.
This life has become shit.
But you tell me that you love me so it makes it all better.
Ha!
ha!
ha!
I can't stop laughing while crying.
If you loved me or our relationship then you would have of course put me first .
You would have of course thought about me and never would have done what you did.
If you loved me you would have of course only wanted me never someone else.
You would have of course never played games.
I gave up on us 2 weeks ago.
Now I don't want to talk so don't do much.
I too just work. come home.
Just sit alone.
You don't talk to me anyways. 'Only I love you or what you want or I don't feel good',sums up of our daily conversations that you say but you never mean that you love me .
I'm my own supporter.
I don't need someone whose words beat me down then he fixes those hurtful words with I love you.
Is that love?
I always think of you before myself.
I always do everything for you before anyone else.
You were, have been was my number in everything.
While I did everything for this man he couldn't even think of me.
Not once!
Not even one time while you kept cheating, while leaving me, while going back to her, leaving your wonderful wife you had any guilt or remorse.
You are a liar!
You are a cheater!
You are a monster!
My monster loved me for 25 years then right way this last year he turned into someone I don't know. You destroyed me. You destroyed our marriage and my happiness.
You are a selfish beast who only cares about himself. You forgot about our darlings Sam and Simi.
You are sorry because you got caught.
Is that 'I love you' mean to you.
I love you are just words to you it means nothing!
How someone treats you and makes you feel is 'LOVE.'
I want to ask you what the hell do you love about me ?
You just love what I provide for you by cooking, cleaning, birthing and rearing your kids, bringing money from my job, waiting for you at night to be treated as an easily available slut with no fee charged every night when you use me.
You even love the fact that I am staying with you while you cheat.
But you don't respect and love me.
Saying it is one thing, but love should be an action to be performed religiously.
May be it's the love for you but I'm not in love with your crap. I don't want your brand of 'love.' I don't want this hollow love because you are liars, a cheater, an adulterer and an infidel . You only love yourself.
You are a narcissist. You are a 100% narcissist.
That is the reason you forgot everything and everyone to do what you need to start doing.
The biggest unanswered question in my life is why I never suspected you during all these years?
I don't need to know the answer.
I want to turn this hurt and pain into motivation to work on myself.
I want to cry and shed my tears once and for all but when I'm done crying, I want to make sure that I never cry for the same reason again!
A deceived shattered wife
Serena