When I wake up, I can barely open my eyes. They feel glued stuck by my tears. I also have a horrible headache and such an awful feeling in my stomach. Last night was horrible in every aspect.
I walk out to the living room and see the guy from last night asleep on my couch. I am so close to beating him up, if I could even, but the bruises all over his face tell me I shouldn't.
I grab a water and a handful of pills and swallow, despite the lump in my throat. I rub my eyes a bunch of times but never get less tired.
Eventually, I hear a door upstairs open. I see Kendall walking down the stairs. She takes a water and some pills as well.
I go to speak but already know that my throat is going to hurt. "Last night was a big deal to me Kendall."
She sighs, "I know."
"No, you don't. If you did, you would have let me explain myself that night. You wouldn't have let him sleep in my living room! He could have tried again."
"Look at him, he's not trying anything. And I'm really sorry MC, but you were so drunk that you passed out on the deck, I'm just not sure if you're sure what happened."
"I couldn't forget that. I'm not okay."
She nods. "Mark's upstairs, so you can talk to him today."
"But he won't believe me now! How could I ever do that to him after what happened with Jack?! You should get that!"
Kendall nods, "Let's calm down, people are sleeping, but yes, we will talk to him and explain that."
Leo walks down the stairs with his hand over his eyes. Kendall says, "I'll be back."
I nod, still angry.
The guy on the couch wakes up too. The only person I want to speak with isn't here.
Leo and Kendall talk with each other while the guy on the couch drinks water.
Eventually, Mark does come down and doesn't look at me. I stare at him as he drinks water.
"Mark?" I say, waiting for him to look at me. He doesn't look yet, though I know he heard me.
"Mark please talk to me."
He sighs and looks at Kendall and Leo. They both nod to him and walk over to the guy. They sit down on the couch next to his.
"I'm not doing this with him here."
Kendall sighs, "He was significantly less intoxicated than you. He has a better understanding of what happened."
"You believe him more than me? You don't even know him."
"Yeah, but we know you MC."
"Wha-, that's so unfair. I can't even believe this." I am speechless with what she has to say to me.
"Mark, can you please step into the other room with me. Please."
He doesn't look up. "I'm done with this. I'm not staying in my own house with this guy here." I stand up, which is when Leo looks up and says.
"He's not here MC. Just ignore him. He means nothing. Just explain what happened to us."
I sigh and sit down, on the edge of my seat though. "I was asleep when he walked in, but got woken up by the light that came in. He got on my bed and started," I pause. I can't say this in front of Mark. I sigh and keep my head down, "Kissing my neck," Mark twitches. "I told him to stop, then said 'Mark', hoping he might hear. He told me that he was Mark and continued. I told him to stop anyway, many times. Then I got louder and Mark came in. That's what happened."
The guy clears his throat, as Mark clenches his fist. Kendall looks to the guy, "I believe that you believe that's what happened, but that's not what happened. I was walking by the door looking for a restroom and she was calling for me to come in. So I came in and she kept telling me to come closer. Now, remember that I was still a little drunk and didn't fully realize who she was. She came on me and I kept saying, 'We should get Mark', or 'Where's Mark?' but she would just ignore it."
"He's lying. That's ridiculous." I say.
Kendall says, "Really think back MC. We just need to make sure. This is important."
"I'm well aware. This is extremely important. I would appreciate Mark at least looking at me while I explain."
Mark still doesn't look up. "I don't know what else to say. I'm done. Get this douche out of my house," I say looking at Kendall.
I walk to my room and start packing. Leo comes in at some point and says, "Hey MC, I'm sorry about this morning. Mark's just really confused. I want to let you know that we only kept that guy here because Mark left him looking so bad that we were worried he wouldn't find his way back home. Not to mention he could have pressed assault charges."
"And I could press the same charges on him."
Leo sighs, "We could try that but what proof do we have? And then we'd have to explain the whole party thing."
I nod. "I know. I wish Mark would at least listen to me."
He nods, "I'll try to get him in here. For now though, could you please stay here?"
I slowly nod. "Fine."
He nods and walks out.
Mark doesn't walk in ever. I walk to the living room for lunch, unsure what to expect. Everyone's actually gone. No one is in my house. The worst part is that I don't have food here. I order an uber and wait.
I am driven to get food, then I come back to eat it. No one's here. I don't even care where they are. I can't believe any of this situation.
No one comes back for a while. Leo stops by around 2. He comes in and says, "Hey, I wanted to check in. It's been busy for us, but I needed to make sure you were okay. Did you eat?"
"Yeah. So I guess Kendall and Mark can't even look at me right now. Why are they mad at me?"
"They're just confused. They're trying to figure everything out."
"What's up with Jack?" I ask.
"He's been MIA since we last saw him."
I nod, "Fine. Okay, I don't want to keep you distracted from hating me, so go ahead and get to it."
"Stop MC. No one hates you."
"No, Mark definitely does. I just don't see how I could have prevented this."
He shakes his head, "Me either. I'll be back later MC. Stay safe please."
I nod and walk him out. I sigh once he's gone. How is this the end of me and Mark? I can't believe this.
The rest of the day, I spend trying to distract myself. Leo comes back at 5. "How're you doing?" he asks.
I shrug, "Feeling awful honestly."
"I feel like I should tell you that the guys decided to have the party tonight at Mark's. He doesn't want to but there's nowhere else."
"Okay. I guess I'm not allowed there, huh?"
Leo goes to say something, but then I interrupt, "You know what? Mark and I are clearly not dating anymore, so he can't tell me what to do."
"It's in your best interest not to go MC."
"Okay. But I'll make that decision myself."
"Okay, sure." Leo says.
He walks out later. When he does, my decision has been made, I'm going.
I don't try to get ready or anything. I go in a sweatshirt and shorts. I wait until it's darker. At around 7:23, I start walking over.
There are a lot of people at Mark's. The last thing I want to do is go to a party. I just want to talk to Mark.
I go into his house and look around. I search his room first but he's not there. I look all through the house and don't find him. I was hoping I wouldn't have to go outside but whatever.
I actually see Kendall first. She sees me and immediately walks over. "What are you doing here?"
"Where's Mark?" I ask, looking around.
"He's not here right now, what are you gonna say to him?"
"He's not at his own house?" I say, not believing it.
"He's picking up drinks. What are you planning to say?"
"I don't know, I'm going to explain myself again and again until he gets it."
"What if he doesn't? Then what?"
"Then he was wrong. I'm telling the truth."
Kendall says, "Okay, well, I don't like you being here but whatever. Do what you want."
I roll my eyes, "Kendall, why don't you believe me?"
"This whole summer, you just seem to be not in the right headspace after a few drinks. What would happen if I asked Jack about some of those situations?"
"That's so unfair. I'm done." I walk away, not looking back.
I wait on the stair steps until finally I see Mark come in the door. I stand up and walk over to him. Before he sees me, I see him sigh and grab a beer. He takes a long sip and stares at the counters.
"Mark." He finally looks up. Probably more in shock that I'm here.
He just stares at me though. "Mark, can I explain it again?"
He doesn't answer. "I will keep explaining it over and over again until you can say something to me."
I look down and say, "I was asleep until he came in and I woke up because of the light that came in the room when he opened the door. He got on the bed and started kissing my neck. I called for you, and he said that he was you. I told him to stop anyway, but he wouldn't."
Mark slams the bottle on the counter, "Stop! Why are you punishing me?!"
"Why are you punishing me? I trusted you guys after you put me to sleep in my room and you guys were the ones who let him go to my room."
"Stop talking! I don't want to hear it." Mark shouts.
I back away as he takes another sip. I haven't seen him like this ever.
"I don't want to believe you because then it'll be my fault." He says quietly.
"I'm not blaming you Mark, I just want you to believe me."
He sighs and looks down. I look down as well.
He doesn't say anything for a while. "I can leave. It's fine."
I walk out, knowing that he's watching me walk out. As I turn around, watching through the window, I see him take a long sip. I sigh and walk away.
I walk back alone to my house. I sit on the couch and stare at the ground. I feel like Mark does believe me, but he is telling himself not to. I'm not mad at him though. I'm just frustrated.
I get a call from Leo later, around 9:46. "MC, I'm so sorry about this, but we're not sure what else to do. Mark's trashed and is asking for you."
I sigh, "Fine, I'm there, just give me a few minutes."
Leo says, "Thank you."
I walk out of my house and back to the party. Since there's no big scene outside, I'm assuming they're in the house. I walk in and all eyes go to me.
Leo walks over to me. "Just go with whatever he says."
"It's Mary Cate," he slurs. "She didn't cheat, did she?" He looks around like they would know the answer.
"I should've hit that guy harder," Mark says. Then a random burst of rage hits him and he goes to the door frame. He punches it, causing everyone to flinch.
I rush over as he shakes off his fist. He punches it a few times before I get to him.
"Mark stop!" I say, pulling his hand away. His hand is bleeding.
I walk him over to the restroom as everyone watches. I wash his hand under the sink. He stays quiet as I do it. I'm getting deja vu.
"You didn't cheat," he says.
"Yeah," I mumble.
"You didn't cheat," he repeats. I can't tell if he believes it or if he's trying to make himself believe it.
I look in the drawers after I wash the cuts and find some band aides. We stay in silence as I put them on, making sure that he can still move his knuckle with them.