"I haven't seen him in two weeks..." Aspyn sighed while coming from her bedroom, having just finished peeking at Corpse from her window.
"Yes, you have. You've been watching him through the window — which is still weird, may I add."
"But he hasn't opened the door for me. He's been avoiding me. Did I do something wrong?"
"No, but he probably regrets telling you about his dreams and doesn't want to face you," Jadon said while rummaging through the cabinets. "It's not that he doesn't trust you, but he basically confessed his feelings for you and is scared that you won't return them — hence him shutting you out so he doesn't have to hear it verbally. I mean, you did storm out of his place afterward so—"
Aspyn knew he was right. Jadon was rarely wrong when it came to social things, and it was probably because he was a psychologist. He was a God at psychoanalyzing and it sometimes annoyed her, but it always helped her.
She didn't mean to leave Corpse's place after he drunkenly told her how he felt, but it caught her off guard. She'd never had a genuine relationship before, nor had anyone ever told her they felt anything other than a platonic liking for her — so for him to outrightly say he was in love with her scared her.
She was scared that he wasn't actually in love, but just thankful for her attention. It was common knowledge that he had no one before meeting Aspyn. He had no one to check on him and make sure he was okay, no one to bring him bread to make sure he was eating, and no one who'd play games with him to make sure he wasn't bored being cooped up in his house.
She was worried that he confused his appreciation for love, so she left. She already knew she had feelings for him. It was no secret. She asked him on a date for crying out loud... but she never thought he could return those feelings. She hoped he would, but she didn't think it was logical.
To hear him admit it out loud brought her nothing but doubts, so she removed herself from the scene before she broke down in front of him and accused him of lying.
"I know! It's just— I panicked! I've never had anyone feel that way about me and he just dropped the bomb like that. I realized how that made me look when I got home, but when I went back over he didn't open the door!"
"Well I wouldn't open it if I were him either... Has he still been having those nightmares?"
"Yes. Every single night and it looks like they got worse. I'm scared for him. Really scared. He isn't even waking up from them as quickly anymore..." Aspyn said solemnly. "If I hadn't left so abruptly like that, I could be there for him. I could wake him up when the nightmare begins or hold his hand until they're over."
"Just give him time, Aspyn," Jadon sighed as he finally found the seasoning he was looking for. "He'll come around. Everything will be ok."
"What if it doesn't? I mean — he's gotten even skinnier! What if it's because of me? What if I hurt his feelings and he stopped eating? He hasn't been opening the door for the bread... he loved my bread." She ranted, a sad tone lacing her voice.
"He was already rapidly losing weight before you met him. There are probably some health problems he's dealing with. I wish I could see him so I could confirm that, because you're just making assumptions at this point."
"If he does have health problems, he isn't going to the doctor! He doesn't leave home! What if he needs to be treated?"
"He's an adult Aspyn," Jadon chuckled. "He can take care of himself so if he doesn't want to go to the doctor that's his decision... but in the meantime, what's that God-awful smell? It smells like something died!"
"Probably what you're cooking." Aspyn shrugged.
Jadon turned around ready to throw something at Aspyn but was only able to burst into laughter at the sight of her with her nose plugs already in.
☠︎︎
Corpse jolted awake, his chest heaving and icy sweat slithering down his bare flesh. Instead of going to the kitchen to drink water like he normally did, he pulled his knees to his chest and stared out of his window with tears poking at the brim of his eyes.
With a sniffle, Corpse wiped the fallen tear from his eye and got out of bed. He slowly made his way to the window and opened it, resting his elbows on the sill. The cold wind blew in and wrapped around his body, his curly hair blowing away from his forehead. He leaned his forehead on his hands and sighed, gripping the windowsill.
He was glad he moved to Colorado — even though it took him a while after moving in to remember where he was and why he was there. One day he randomly wanted to be somewhere cold, which is why he still hadn't gotten his air fixed. It didn't bother him, it soothed him. Something about heat felt unnatural to him.
Maybe it was because he lived under the scorching sun in California his entire life, and running away from his family meant he had to get away from the heat that reminded him of them too.
He lifted his head and looked forward, his eyes silently pleading to be seen. To be noticed.
He knew Aspyn was watching and he missed her. A few nights after he confessed to her, he caught her watching him from her window — and he wasn't upset like he thought he'd be. He was relieved. Relieved that if she was watching him, maybe she shared feelings for him too.
It was small, the amount of hope he had, but it was there.
He wanted her to come over, but he knew she wouldn't because when she did, he didn't open the door. He regretted telling her about his dreams because he scared her away by doing so.
He just hoped she'd come back one more time so he could finally open the door because somehow, losing her scared him more than his nightmares.
☠︎︎
Aspyn pulled her blinds down and looked over at a sweat-covered Corpse, leaning over his windowsill and letting the wind cool his body. He was so rawboned it was concerning. His already pale skin had lost even more color and his eyes drooped lower than they did before. He looked terrible, and Aspyn blamed herself.
She knew he already had issues before meeting her, but it worsened after. She couldn't help but think her sudden departure weeks before was the cause. He bravely opened up to her not only about the dreams that bedeviled him every night but also about his feelings towards her.
Aspyn decided to try one more time.
Every time she went to his house to talk, he ignored her — but he looked too sick to just push it aside. If she could help, she would, and she wasn't going to give up before she tried.
Aspyn let go of the blinds, not staying back long enough to watch them spring back into place. When she got to her front door, she slid in her slippers and took a deep breath. She was nervous, but she missed him and wanted to apologize.
Upon opening the door, Aspyn was greeted by two things — a horrid smell and the freezing cold.
Being born and raised in the chilly state meant she grew accustomed to the cold atmosphere, but this night, it wasn't just cold in temperature. It was cold in essence and she hated it. She knew it was her guilt that chilled her to the bone.
She should've never left him alone like that. She should've stayed with him and told him how she felt as well, but she didn't and now they were in the situation they were.
The wintry climate mixing with the revolting odor was almost enough to turn her around. The bitterness of something deadly punching into her sensitive nostrils caused a migraine to form, but still, she wouldn't turn around.
She was determined to get to the man she loved, so she trudged her way towards his house, disregarding the pounding feeling that was in her head. Her fist lifted, and she thought for a few seconds. Her confidence scurried away from her the second she looked at Corpse's front door, fearing that it would never open.
Before she could cower away, the door flew open and she was pulled into a pair of scrawny arms. Corpse's earthy fragrance overpowered the gut-churning smell and gave her a sense of comfort. His chin rested on her head and his arms tightened around her.
"Please hug me back."
Written Nov. 15 2021