When Chan stepped over the threshold of the Lee residence, on a late Thursday night, the last thing he'd expected was to be greeted with a rather extended version of the family he'd come to know and love.
"Hey," the boy had greeted as the door swung open to reveal an elder man—Felix's father, head of the household—who seemed to take an unusually surprised look onto his face as he realized who exactly it was that was standing at their door.
"Oh... Chan!" the man gathered his manners, and sent the boy a smile, ushering him into the house.
"We weren't expecting you. Did you call?"
Chan simply shook his head.
"Sorry. I just decided to drop by. I think that I left something I need for school here...?"
In the distance, a faint chatter emanated from the area of the dining room. This caught Chan's attention; it was rare that guests were present here... the Lees weren't exactly busy people.
"Ah... alright," the man nodded, yet his expression noticeably at the mention of his son. Chan felt slightly bad for having to ask this, especially when...
Well, to be honest, he was completely lying.
He actually hadn't left anything there at all. It was just the most convenient excuse for a surprise visit, and one that Felix's ever-too-kind parents would never deny.
The real reason he was here?
Obviously, to be a pawn for Minho and Jisung's investigation service. As much as Chan hoped the three of them would find Felix, to be frank, some of the other two boys' ideas were delusional at best.
Jisung had run off somewhere the day before, claiming he had a wonderful hypothesis about where Felix could've gone... something to do with buses, maybe? Chan hadn't entirely been listening, but regardless, Jisung had appeared at the boy's room near three in the morning, looking beaten up, tired, and refusing to speak about what he'd seen and done.
Minho was slightly more sensible, but oh, if he wasn't so incredibly rich. It drove Chan up the wall every time the kid would throw out some suggestion like "we simply will rent a plane and go there to look," or "let's hire a private detective," or worst of all, "can't we just bribe our way onto the trains?"
So here he was, infiltrating his best friend's house, in a bid to dig through his things and probably invade his privacy in every sense of the term.
Not to feed his own ego, but he was certain that he was their last hope at this point.
"Mind if I go look for it in his room?" Chan asked, to which the father nodded with a sort of forced enthusiasm, and gestured outward with both hands, as if to say "go."
So the boy turned, a bit reluctantly as he saw the rather lonesome look on the older man's face, but leaving nonetheless. The trip to Felix's room was short, and Chan knew this route like the back of his hand.
The walls seemed rather barren, Chan noted as he strolled, for this time of year. The Lees had always been a more... festive family, to say the least, decking out their house with different decorations for the season. The mother had always been particularly proud of her winter décor, and for what it's worth, she always did succeed at throwing everyone headfirst into the holidays from the sheer amount of things hung up everywhere.
Looking at the empty space now brought a rather apprehensive feeling to mind. Sure, Felix wasn't here to help anymore, but why were the decorations not up? Nothing? Was the grief so unbearable as to conquer any remnant of enthusiasm for their former joys?
Chan understood, on second thought. Because as he approached a shut bedroom door at the end of the hall, a sense of dread filled him. To him, this was stepping directly into the battlefield. He couldn't afford to let surging emotions cloud his mind if he wanted to get any actual evidence out of this, and reminded himself in a mutter to absolutely, under no circumstance, let himself be too overwhelmed to do a proper investigation.
As soon as he cracked the door open, though, this resolve immediately faltered.
He had to take a deep breath to calm himself as he entered Felix's bedroom, the lights off and shadows cast in every corner.
He hadn't seen it so lifeless in here in ages... perhaps ever. The last time he'd been here was a mere few days before Felix's disappearance, and even then it had felt cozy, and comfortable, with pillows strewn about and the dim lamps illuminating their laughing faces.
Everything looked too clean now. Too put away. Chan supposed someone must have come around to sort through the boy's things in search of evidence, or a note even, for a reason that he'd run away.
With this thought, Chan felt all of his motivation drain out of him. What could he possibly find that the police and his parents could've missed?
It took another mental self-scolding to force his body to move, checking through the various drawers and boxes everywhere, for something, anything that would give even the slightest hint of either why he was running away, or who...
Who he was with.
That idea still sat somewhat bitterly in Chan's mind— that Felix had run away with someone. It couldn't have been anyone at school, as that would've been quite obvious. An outsider would fit the bill, but he knew Felix to be someone consistently, tragically single, and he'd never mentioned so much as a romantic interest to Chan.
The knowledge that his closest, most loyal friend may have lied to him about that wasn't exactly the most joyous concept.
He almost didn't want to be proved right.
Yet as he rummaged through countless clothes, trinkets, souvenirs, and even school documents, absolutely nothing came up. Sure, being proven right would be painful, but at least it was something. A frustration welled up within him as he realized he may have come here for nothing after all.
"Honey?" a deeper, feminine voice scared the living hell out of Chan, who flinched, whipping around to face the door.
"Oh— Channie?" Felix's mother lingered at the doorway, one hand on the frame she was leaning against.
"Sorry... I heard noise in here and thought maybe... anyway, what are you doing here?" the surprised look on her face settled into a more gentle, tired one.
"I was just looking for something I left," the boy answered, glancing around and spotting a small, pocket-sized notebook on the table.
"I found it though! Sorry if I bothered you," he grabbed the item, as if that had been his plan all along.
The woman just seemed to gaze at him with a pained smile as he strolled towards the door.
"Hey," she spoke gently, placing a hand on his shoulder as he passed to stop him. "We miss you, you know? Come visit more often."
Chan tried to swallow down the feeling of suddenly not being able to speak.
Visit more often? It was hard enough as it was already, but...
If she wanted it, he guessed he could try.
He could barely get out a nod before she seemed to perk up.
"My husband made some pastries for our relatives today... do you want one? Come with me!"
She only gestured excitedly as she stepped down the hallway, waving a hand for Chan to follow her— which he did, albeit reluctantly.
The sound of voices greeted him once again like they had when he'd entered the house. Relatives, the mother had said.
As he entered the dining room, he was greeted with the sight of numerous people standing around inside, talking, eating, and gathered around the man towards the center of the room: Felix's father.
"Oh?" the man spoke as soon as he laid eyes on Chan. "Do you need something, kid?"
The brunette became acutely aware of the dozens of eyes boring into him at that moment, watching his every move.
"I just..." he didn't have time to get a sentence out before the mother elbowed her way into the room from behind him, sending the group a dazzling smile.
"Honey?" the man's face seemed to flash with fear upon seeing her, and he exchanged a couple of pointed glances with the people he'd been talking to.
Chan could only watch in confusion as the father seemed to mumble something to them before striding over, leaving the group behind to chat amongst themselves.
"Why are you... here?" the man inquired, glancing between the two of them.
Once again the mother cut Chan off before he could speak.
"I'm just getting him some of those pastries, we won't invade for too long," she elbowed her husband with a mischievous grin, as if letting him in on some secret plan.
"No, honey, I'm saying," he lowered his voice, "why are you out of bed?"
It was then that Chan began to feel very out of place in this conversation.
"I'm feeling fine now," the woman whispered back, her grin faltering a little. "It's just for five minutes. It won't kill me."
"Do we know that?" the husband replied, a hint of exasperation in his voice as she turned on her heel, directly ignoring him.
"I think the chocolate stuff is on this table," she spoke, basically pulling Chan away by the arm and guiding him to certain locations across the room.
"And over there... meringue, maybe?"
Chan allowed himself to be dragged around for ages, always aware of the lingering presence of Felix's father somewhere near them at all times, hovering as if concerned of something.
"Ah, these!" the small woman picked up a little plate of mundane looking cookies, eyeing them fondly. "These are really good. You should..."
Chan watched her expression turn somewhat blank, as if she was suddenly distracted by some thought. She sat the plate down on the table, her little tangent completely gone.
"I think... I'm going to sit down over there," she gestured vaguely off in the distance, still making an effort to give the boy a comforting smile.
The sudden change of mood was a little disconcerting to Chan.
"You okay?" he questioned, but was waved off as she took a few steps in her intended direction.
Out of nowhere, Felix's father appeared in his line of sight, as if he'd been waiting for this to happen.
"Channie, you should go," the man spoke with an apologetic tone.
"I need to take her to sit down somewhere," he spared a glance at his wife.
"It's okay," the woman insisted, trying to maneuver around him but bringing a hand up to her head. "It's just a dizzy spell. It'll go away in a few minutes."
The father could only sigh as she strode off with more confidence this time, heading towards the living room door.
The last time he'd been here, he'd been suspicious enough. But now? Chan was beginning to wonder what in the hell he wasn't being told.
"Is she okay? Seriously," the boy spoke up, finding himself at the end of his rope.
"She'll be fine once we go to the doctor," the father ran a hand through his hair, stressed. "We're going around next month."
"So there is something wrong with her?"
"Chan," the father took on a consoling voice, as if sensing the boy's distress at this information. "There's nothing to worry about. We have the money for her surgery now that..."
His expression soured, prompting the boy to dig further for answers.
"Now that what?"
"Now that..." the man let out a long breath, as if not even believing he was about to say these words. "We don't have to worry about supporting Felix anymore."
This shut Chan up immediately.
"As much as I hate to say it," the father continued, "we really didn't have the money before he left."
Chan started to speak, but found himself unable as a horrible idea manifested itself in his head.
Oh, god. Felix would never have thought to... do that... right?
"Do you need help with anything? Before I leave...?" the boy said instead, to mask his thoughts, but was met with a firm shake of the head from the father.
"Come back later, when we're less busy," the man said with a sort of finality to his voice. "We love you, Chris. It's just not a good time."
Chan understood this.
So he gave a halfhearted wave to the father, before turning and strolling off, making his way through the living room and to the door.
He knew he could always return later, yet as he glanced back into the house, something inside told him that he wouldn't be seeing this place for a long time.
But maybe, he'd finally gotten a little closer at figuring out what happened to his best friend. So he pulled out his phone, shooting a quick text to a groupchat with a request to meet up later.
Perhaps this investigation was actually going somewhere now.
When Felix returned to his room that night, he'd found Hyunjin lying in bed, face buried in a novel as usual, completely ignorant to the outside world.
The elder boy didn't even look up at the sound of the door. On a normal day, this would've been expected. But now...?
It made Felix incredibly nervous.
See, since a certain incident earlier that day, the pair had barely spoken a word to each other. Besides the occasional "sorry" or "hey," the most interaction they'd had at all was a little wave to each other in the hallway once or twice. And it was driving Felix absolutely insane.
The blonde wasn't exactly confident, but the complete and utter silence was beginning to bring numerous impulsive thoughts to mind of things to say just to make conversation.
And here he stood, watching Hyunjin turn a page of his book as if he weren't there at all. He took a long breath, and wordlessly, he padded over to the bed and stood next to it, simply staring down at the elder boy. Waiting.
A few seconds passed by. Felix crossed his arms, suddenly determined to see this whim through to the end.
Eventually, Hyunjin glanced over, his gaze caught by the younger's as soon as he dared look.
"What?" he spoke carefully, taking notice of the impatient expression on Felix's face.
"Hello to you too," Felix stated, crawling onto the mattress and taking a seat, crisscrossed and facing the elder.
"Glad you noticed I'm here."
"I noticed," Hyunjin retorted, turning his attention back to the novel in his hands.
"I looked at you when you came in."
"Did you now? I didn't see that."
The elder seemed to roll his eyes, and didn't give a word in return.
Another flip of the page. Another chapter of the book opened before him.
"What are you reading?" Felix tried, lacing his voice with a cheerful interest, an attempt to grab just a slight bit of the elder's attention.
"It's a secret," Hyunjin replied, monotone, in a way that made it almost difficult for Felix to discern whether or not it was serious or a joke.
"Come on, usually you beg me to get into your books... this is your chance!" the blonde tried to persuade with a smile, and gently tugged on one of Hyunjin's sleeves alongside these words.
"It's nothing you'd like," came the reply, short and simple.
A little surge of annoyance welled up inside the younger. There was a lot of things he could tolerate—secondhand embarrassment, people yelling at him, needless apologies—but somehow, being ignored by Hyunjin...?
That always seemed to tick him off faster than anything else.
"Do I tend to like any of the things you read?" Felix began, keeping that too-kind, faux smile on his face as he spoke.
A pause came. Hyunjin turned his head to look at the younger, as if trying to read the situation from his expression.
"I think you would if you'd actually read them," he said, his words sort of... lost sounding, as if he were just speaking to fill space while he tried to figure out the younger's emotions.
"I'll read it then," Felix responded in the same saccharine tone.
"If you tell me what the book title is."
Hyunjin just stared at him for a second, something apparently clicking into place in his brain.
"No," he started, slowly shutting the book in his hands. "No way, you're using your fake-nice voice. You're doing something right now."
The younger almost swore out loud at that response. He supposed this was the only downside of having someone know him so well.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Felix insisted anyway, trailing a finger along the cuff of the other's sleeve.
"Doing something? Me? Never."
"You totally are doing something."
"I've never done anything in my life, actually," the blonde stated as Hyunjin sat the novel aside on the mattress and slowly sat upright.
"Never have, never will."
"Oh yeah? You've never done anything, huh?" Hyunjin raised his eyebrows, the ghost of a smile forming on his face.
Now this was a familiar rhythm. Finally they'd reached known territory. Felix knew this dynamic, this playfulness that had all but disappeared over the last twenty four hours.
"What, you don't believe me?" Felix responded, a genuine teasing seeping into his tone as he felt himself stepping back into the same dance between the two that he knew so well.
"How can I believe a criminal?" the elder replied, the words coming to him on instinct.
"Aren't you on the run from the police right now?"
"Aren't you a serial shoplifter?" the younger mused, immediately receiving a light shove on the shoulder in return.
"You," Felix tried to speak as threateningly as he could, ultimately unable to keep a grin from breaking through.
"You dare...? You strike me? Is it war that you want?"
"As if you could fight me?" the elder's hand drifted over to a pillow, hovering over it.
"We've seen how this ends a million times. Try me, blondie."
The usual nickname made Felix's heart jump this time, for some odd reason.
"I'm good," Felix decided with a shake of the head.
"I know you'd win anyway. I surrender," he moved, turning as if to get off the bed.
"No— wait," Hyunjin grabbed the boy's arm to stop him from leaving, with a giggle as he spoke. "Truce? For once?"
"Truce?" Felix spoke the word as if it was poison. "Truce? What do you take me for, a softie?"
A small silence fell as he made eye contact with the elder, both losing their composure and trying to fight a smile that grew faster as each saw the other struggling to contain theirs.
"Shit," Felix cursed as Hyunjin burst out into laughter, unable to keep the grin off of his own face.
The warm feeling in his chest became a burn as he watched the dark haired boy cover his mouth with one hand in an attempt to curb his giggling, his other hand gripping the bedsheets.
Now that he'd gotten the boy's attention, why did he still feel as if he were lacking something? As if he were ignoring something that he desperately wanted— needed, even?
And his arm was still in the elder's grip. He was all too aware of it.
"Calm down a little," Felix scolded to mask his racing thoughts.
"The people next door are probably sleeping."
"Oh yeah, definitely," Hyunjin nodded in a way that let the younger know he thought that excuse was total bullshit. "My apologies to them."
"You're very inconsiderate of the neighbors today, aren't you, Hyun?" the blonde spoke with only the slightest hint of chastisement.
"And you're very sarcastic today. Where'd this come from?"
"I learned it from the best," Felix quoted himself, making the elder grin as he recognized the phrase.
"Oh, I am the worst influence, aren't I?" the elder gave a fake frown, placing both hands on the younger's shoulders as if to console him.
Felix felt himself unable to find any words to respond with. Quietly, he placed his hands upon the other's chest, playing with the fabric of his shirt for a moment as he contemplated his next move.
"Haven't we had this conversation before?" Hyunjin held a slight grin, the corners of his pretty mouth turned upwards as he spoke.
All at once, Felix's mind was flooded by the memories of them in the hallway that morning. Of his hands, buried in the elder's dark hair, holding the two even closer. Of Hyunjin's warm breath intermingled with his own in that shared space—
"Hey," Hyunjin's low voice broke him out of his thoughts, and the younger realized that holy shit, their noses were now only a couple of inches apart, and he had been leaning forward in a daze, spaced out like he'd been possessed.
"...Hi," Felix spoke with a dumb grin, not really able to even process any other thoughts when Hyunjin was looking at him like that.
"Hi?" the elder giggled, repeating the word in a mocking tone. "That's all you have to say?"
"Shut up," Felix whined, play-hitting the boy's shoulder.
"No, you shut up," Hyunjin insisted, leaning a tiny bit inwards as he spoke.
"Nooo. You shut up."
"No, blondie, you—" Hyunjin found his words rather rudely interrupted as Felix leaned forward and kissed him, pulling his face closer with dainty hands on the boy's cheeks.
Shit, was all Hyunjin could think.
As if the one he'd initiated himself earlier hadn't been enough of a heart attack for one day. When the beautiful boy in front of him was starting it... hell, it was an entirely different feeling.
Felix's warm lips up against his own felt like an invitation... A request for Hyunjin to slowly bring up his hands and tangle his fingers into the younger's light blonde hair, or pull the boy's body ever-closer.
A storm was brewing, and neither of the two were attempting to stop it. By now, there was nothing they'd rather do than let themselves be willingly engulfed in its winds.
Felix pulled back with a little gasp for air— an action so small, yet it triggered something in the elder, whose hands instantly found themselves upon the blonde's waist.
And then Felix's body was flush against his own. He held the blonde tight in his arms and kissed him back, only catching a flash of surprise across Felix's face before the boy let his eyes drift closed again, giving himself into the moment entirely.
From there... time seemed to fade into a blurry state. A blissful silence took its place in the room, tainted every so often by a harsh inhale or a rustle of cloth.
Minutes that seemed like hours passed. The two had managed to lean themselves back against the mattress and gotten rolled up in the sheets of the bed, legs tangled together underneath.
Hyunjin couldn't help but smile into the slow kiss they were sharing, one of many, as he felt one of Felix's hands squeezing his bicep.
He gave a soft nip to the blonde's bottom lip, gentle enough not to injure but to simply tease.
"Ugh, Hyun," Felix voiced his annoyance in a low, intimate tone, before pouting. Rather than upset, he looked more entranced than anything, half lidded eyes mixed with the gaze he was giving towards the elder.
"I know," Hyunjin touched the tip of his nose to Felix's, before leaning down to give him a peck.
"Sorry, Lix."
"Mm..." the blonde only hummed in reply, not fully himself yet, brain still processing the heavy emotions he was drowning in at that moment.
That empty room the two laid in suddenly felt a hell of a lot cozier than it had before.
"I kinda want a snack right now," Hyunjin dared to speak up after a while, provoking only a tired groan from the boy in his arms.
"God, are you still drunk?" Felix questioned, burying his face against the crook of the elder's neck.
"No. Would I be doing this if I were drunk?"
"Yes."
Hyunjin only grinned at this, giving the boy in his arms a little squeeze.
"Come with," he tried to coax him. "It won't take long."
"No," Felix held his ground. "Just try to convince Sookyung to bring you something."
"And how am I going to do that without getting up?"
"Just call her—" Felix started, exasperated, before immediately realizing how stupid that idea was and shutting up.
"Fuck. I forgot we don't have a..."
"I'm really starting to consider the whole pickpocketing idea," the elder agreed with a sigh, rubbing his thumb back and forth against Felix's shoulder. "We need phones so bad."
"We are not pickpocketing people," Felix grumbled against the boy's neck.
"We might not be, but I am."
"Hyunjin."
"Fine," Hyunjin gave up. "But I still have to take you out to a store soon so I can teach you a few things."
"Whyyyy," Felix just whined, lifting his head up to make eye contact with the elder. "Do we really still need to do that? They have food and rooms here. We don't need anything."
A sort of sympathetic look washed over Hyunjin's face. He didn't speak for a moment, prompting the younger to gently nudge him, in a bid to make him speak his thoughts aloud.
"We can't stay here forever, you know?" Hyunjin spoke slowly, as if telling bad news. "We can for a while, but when someone finds us, we have to be prepared to leave and survive on our own again."
"You make that sound inevitable?" Felix spoke with a tone that suggested he found that idea incredibly depressing.
"You really think we'll never get spotted by anyone around here?" the elder asked.
"Not if we don't go outside..."
"I'm being serious, baby," Hyunjin reached up to tuck a lock of the younger's hair behind his ear. "We can't let ourselves get too comfortable."
The will to argue within Felix basically dissolved at hearing those words.
"Okay..." he whispered in return. "I guess it's time for me to help out anyway..."
"Thanks blondie," Hyunjin affectionately bumped his forehead against the other's, making Felix scrunch up his nose on instinct.
"You know you're my favorite person?"
Felix could only fight off a grin.
"Well, it's not like you really have any other friends..."
"I do have other friends," the elder insisted. "They simply are not here right now."
"Like who?"
"Minho."
"And...?"
"Okay," Hyunjin glared at the younger. "Maybe I only have one friend. Sue me."
"Two if you count me," Felix suggested, but the words only prompted a sort of hesitant look from the other.
"I mean..." Hyunjin began before the younger could say anything else.
"I wouldn't really... because... you know?"
Felix just blinked at this, a dull heat creeping onto his cheeks as he understood what was being hinted at.
"Yeah. You get it," Hyunjin seemed to decide from watching the blonde's face. "You know what I'm saying."
"Oh, nooo, no," the elder found himself continuing immediately as Felix leaned forward. "Not again, Lix."
"Why?" the blonde whispered, lips brushing against Hyunjin's as he spoke.
"I need—" the dark haired boy was interrupted for a moment by a peck, "—to get up. And get a snack. Now."
"Do you really?" Felix's voice was teasing yet soft.
"I do..." Hyunjin's statement held no ground as he spoke in between little kisses, not even physically trying to resist. "I need to go... Felix, I— I'll bring you back... a coffee?"
Felix instantly pulled away.
"Deal," he agreed with a nod, struggling to sit up and detach all of his limbs from the elder.
"I want a shit ton of cream and sugar in it."
"Whatever you want, your highness," Hyunjin mocked as he climbed out of the bed, shooting back a look mixed with annoyance and amusement.
"That's my joke. You're the rich one!" Felix protested as the elder speed-walked towards the door, narrowly dodging a pillow which Felix picked up and threw at him from across the room.
And Hyunjin was out the door within a second, sticking his hand back into the room to give the younger a thumbs down before shutting the door.
The aloneness took a second to even sink into his brain.
By himself, the blonde was usually riddled with nervous thoughts, of agonizing and lamenting over what he'd just done, or oh, god, how would he survive this?
Yet for some reason, even when braced for the impact of an onslaught of regrets and fears, they just... didn't come.
With the other gone, he just flopped back onto the mattress, a sort of hazy feeling having taken over his brain.
He didn't feel anxious. He just felt numb. A growing warmth had settled upon his cheeks a while ago, and it wasn't showing any sign of going away soon.
He was almost going through a suspension of disbelief, convincing himself that whatever had happened between the two of them in the past hours was completely normal, and not a completely life-altering, not to mention relationship-changing, course of events.
Not a word had been said about it. Felix had figured out by now that Hyunjin seemed to be that type of person to use actions rather than words to convey his feelings, and the lack of clarity would usually have driven him crazy.
But for some reason, he didn't mind this at all. If the boy just saw him as someone nice to mess around with physically, it was fine. If Hyunjin saw him as more than that, which it was beginning to seem like...
That thought made the blonde a little too excited.
To be not a friend. To level up from partners in crime, to just... partners.
Who happen to commit a little bit of crime, that is.
With that, he let out a small groan to himself, thinking of the things he'd have to go through in the coming days. Letting Hyunjin teach him how to actually rob a store, dealing with the fallout of... whatever the hell they'd done tonight, and trying to not get arrested...
He let his eyes close as he laid his head back against the pillow.
Thank god Felix was used to long weeks, because it was about to be one.