°•○●Eight●○•°
"no, but someone had to tell him. he can't just take it all out on others just because he's been through some shit." jisung said, sipping on his fruit box, lips wrapped around the tiny straw.
"yeah, but wooyoung really sound like a coward to me, not going to lie. hyunjin deserves better." jeongin shrugged taking a bite of his cheesecake.
"you only say that because he is hot." jisung snapped, glaring at him.
"did i stutter?"
"you're a hoe, yang jeongin, do you know that?"
"of course."
"well," chan sighed, placing his cup of coffee down the table before looking at felix. "i think both hyunjin and wooyoung deserve better. there's no use blaming each other or picking sides. they need some work to do." he stated.
okay, that seemed legit. but if one more time the two of them ran into each other, felix would see blood and eye balls rolling around.
"what do i do?" felix whined. "what do i do?!" he whined more, kicking his legs like a kid. his friends looked at him, not fazed by his cuteness nor his misery. "i don't know what to do. i don't know how to fix this."
"well, you don't have to?" chan said, a little unsure of his tone before placing a hand on felix's shoulder. "just give them some time, lixie. it'll be fine. it's not your job to fix this anyway."
"but i miss him. he never left home without having breakfast with me. but today, he left even before i could wake up. i don't know where he is or what he is doing. i'm just so—" he trailed off, struggling to explain what he was feeling.
"whipped." jeongin finished. felix glared at him but didn't deny because duh who wasn't whipped for hwang hyunjin? "well, why don't we ask lee know how he's doing?"
felix sat up straighter, looking at his friend. "i like that." slowly, everyone turned to look at jisung who raised his eyebrows. "so, you and lee know, are you guys dating?"
"what do you mean date? we adopted a cat together. we're now fathers."
"awesome. so call him and ask him what my man is doing."
"i hate him and his 74 freckles! all the heart ones too!" hyunjin screamed, pacing impatiently.
"you counted his freckles?" lee know asked, raising his eyebrows in a judgmental way.
"yes, and you know what's weird? that one little heart freckle which looked like it was broken, that's my heart!"
"that-that's what's weird now?"
"ugh!" hyunjin groaned, punching the air in agitation before continuing to pace. they were hanging out at changbin's house and it had been hours now since hyunjin had been at this. like, the guys had had enough. poor changbin dozed off with his head on seungmin's lap.
"you need to stop being dramatic, hyunjin." seungmin rolled his eyes. hyunjin turned his head to glare at him.
"oh i'm dramatic now? am i?"
"yes, bitch. you are. now are you going to sit on your ass or do i have to break your legs?" lee know rasped, having his end. like, what the fuck. this motherfucker had the audacity to say shit to his fluff of a boyfriend and come here to rant it out to his friends.
hyunjin looked scared of lee know now. he ain't kidding. with a small pout that jutted his lower lip out, he sat down on the floor, tucking his legs underneath.
"now, tell me, how do you feel?" seungmin asked. "be honest."
hyunjin looked down, playing with some thread like a lost kitten, not knowing how to admit what he was feeling. he missed felix. very much. that night's memories kept replaying in his head. it was not just the sex. it was everything. it was him. it was the little things with felix that made hyunjin fall deeper. the way he would call him 'baby', the way he would never let his hand go despite all the sweat, the way he would blow on the hickeys so they wouldn't hurt much, the way he would run his fingers through hyunjin's hair....he missed everything about felix.
"i think i hurt felix." hyunjin settled for that, looking up at seungmin, his eyes welled up with guilt.
"yes, you did." lee know snapped. "you hurt felix and wooyoung."
"don't bring that bastard into this, okay?" hyunjin bit back.
"actually, lee know is right, hyunjin." seungmin said. "i can understand how much you hate wooyoung. you act and talk out of spite. but deep down, i think you know what you feel. so just sit down and breathe. you need to calm down first. looking back, every single shit that has happened is because of anger. so just, relax first."
"hey, babe." jisung said, smiling instantly.
"hey!" lee know exclaimed and felix swore he could imagine him smiling wide. "how is my favorite boy in the whole world doing?"
"missing my favorite boy." jisung pouted.
"uh huh? is that so?" lee know smirked. "how much do you miss me?"
"very very much."
"look at you cute little squirrel. gosh! why are you so cute? i miss you so much now."
"how much?"
"ver—"
"oh for fuck's sake hanji!" felix screamed, aggressively punching the air, startling his friends who were circled around jisung with his phone on speaker. jisung scoffed, looking a little scared, though. he cleared his throat.
"right. um." he started. "babe, how is hyunjin?"
"dead." lee know started laughing like a sick bastard. jeongin laughed along too.
"what?!" felix screamed, snatching jisung's phone for himself.
"dead drunk. chill." he said. felix let out a relieved sigh. okay, lee know was an asshole.
"what is he doing? is he alright? god! where the fuck is he?!"
"chill there, duckie. we're just in the local bar. we'll bring him back safely. don't worry."
felix didn't know if he should be relieved or worried by that. but he settled for the first thing.
"why would he drink so much?" felix let out in a concerned voice. he might be overreacting but why? why would hyunjin get himself drunk? yes, he knew he drank here and there. everyone did once they entered college. but he never got drunk off his ass. never.
"oh no, he didn't want to get drunk. i insisted."
"what?!"
"yes, he was too miserable and it was annoying. he needed to drink it off."
what kind of a fucked up logic was that? this bitch got his morals from fanfictions and netflix movies or something. felix was fumed. he opened his mouth to snap but nothing came out.
"seriously? this is the man you are in love with?!" he turned to jisung. the latter's eyes widened, his lips moving in uncomprehending gasps.
"um i can still hear you but did you just say love?" lee know said through the phone. oh fuck. felix's eyes widened. did he just...? shit, he did. jisung suppressed his urge to scream with balled fists before standing up and snatching his phone from felix. he mouthed something...which felix was pretty sure not close to anything nice. and then he walked out of the room.
felix turned to look at his other two friends, enjoying everything that just unfolded in front of them, this close to burst into laughter.
"oh come on, he is in love. i'm sure of it." felix huffed, falling lazily on his bed.
"sure sure." chan muttered sarcastically.
"damn, that's some fun as fuck drama." jeongin said, laughing after. felix rolled his eyes, closing his eyes.
felix was now pacing in his living room, a little too worried. his friends had just left a couple minutes ago since it was late. yes, it was late and hyunjin was still not here. what the fuck was lee know doing?
speak of the devil, he heard loud knocks rap against the door. felix literally sprinted to the entrance and flung the door open. lee know smiled at him in pain as he held a knocked out hyunjin by his shoulder, grunting at his weight.
"a hand, a hand, a hand!" lee know muttered frantically and felix was sure to rush to him, helping him. hyunjin let out inaudible groans as the two of them helped him to his bedroom, placing him on his bed. felix stared at him—his eyes closed shut, lips parted a little, his tawny locks of hair pulled aback by his black bandanna.
"give him some ice water if he wakes up in the middle. he will throw up if not." lee know said. felix nodded at him before walking him out of the room.
"lee know." he called suddenly, right before he was about to leave the apartment. "thank you."
lee know nodded with a soft hum, staring at felix, as though contemplating whether he should say something or not. felix waited. he noticed how he didn't reek of alcohol. probably didn't drink anything to take care of hyunjin. maybe he wasn't that bad of a friend, after all.
"hyunjin...um..." he started, waving his hands around, lost at words. "he lived his life alone. not knowing what family or relationships are like. happiness or sadness, he grew up keeping them within." he paused to smile a little. "so he doesn't know how to express himself. when he unleash everything he holds inside, he-he often can't control himself."
and then he looked felix dead in the eye and said. "he really likes you, felix. don't give up on him like his father did."
felix's heart clenched at that. he stared at lee know, not batting a single lash. when he said that, he really felt closer to hyunjin. taking it out on people when he had shit, hurting people without intentions, recklessly saying stuff, letting his anger get the best of him—hyunjin was a fuck up. but somehow it only made felix like him more.
"thank you, lee know. i really appreciate it." felix smiled. lee know smiled in return, nodding a little.
"good night." he waved before walking out the door. felix mumbled a soft good night before shutting the door and letting out a huge sigh. running a hand through his silver hair, he licked his lips. he walked back inside hyunjin's room and stared at him.
"so peaceful." he breathed as he watched him snore a little, his lips quivering from time to time. he smiled like he was smitten before crouching down and taking his shoes and socks off. he placed them behind the door neatly and walked back to the kitchen to get a bottle of cold water from the refrigerator. he grabbed a bar of toblerone that he found in his fridge before walking back to hyunjin's room.
he placed the water on the nightstand and sat on the bed beside hyunjin, watching him with a soft smile. his eyes welled up a little as he felt the sudden wave of emotions hit him. he didn't know why but to look at him now, his heart was at ease. he had never felt such strong feelings for anyone in his life. but for some reason, his entire existence seemed to make sense when hyunjin was around.
he pressed his thumb pad to the corner of his eye before sighing. look at him, crying over a dude he was whipped for. it was quite incredulous how he felt for hyunjin because he never thought he would. even though they were now on a bad patch, deep down he could only feel like it was making them even more close. and he had never been in that phase with anyone in his life.
"what did you do to me, hwang hyunjin?" he mumbled under his breath, running two fingers through hyunjin's hair before wiping the small of his drool. he watched him sleep for a while before pulling his phone out and leaning behind the stack of pillows he had made.
he opened netflix and picked some random asian drama without paying any heed. he broke his toblerone bar and nibbled on it as he watched it, turning his volume down. he didn't care if he dropped some crumbs on the bed or that he was so desperately trying to distract himself from sleeping so he wouldn't dream about hyunjin.
he was trying his best to give hyunjin the time and space he wished. but as every second that passed it was only getting harder to stay away form him.
"lixie..." he heard a small whisper, pulling him out of his trance. he froze, not caring about the drama that continued to play, a soft ost filling up the ambiance. felix's heart beat picked up, the chocolate in his mouth melting under his tongue. he stared at hyunjin, his pouty lips puckered as he slept without a care. did he just say his name in his sleep?
felix blushed. nobody was there to see but who cared; lee felix fucking blushed. his freckles bloomed pink, cherry blossoms glittering under his eyes. damn it, hwang hyunjin. what did you do to me?
little did he know that someone was already dreaming about felix.
hwang hyunjin wanted to cut his head off and throw it out the window.
he woke up with a pounding headache, his mouth tasting like rotten chicken. he gagged. grabbing his hair, he tugged it harshly, groaning in pain and frustration. what the fuck did he do last night? this was the reason why he never drank.
he let go of his hair and sat up straight, staring at the wall for a whole minute. legit. every single embarrassing thing he had done in his life flashed quick. his eyes widened on their own accord. "damn." he mumbled. and the next two minutes he spent talking to himself about how he shouldn't have done this and that years ago.
the strong smell of morning coffee pulled him out of his trance. he scrunched his nose and took a few whiffs like a little pup before looking at the two pills and a glass of water on his night table. it didn't take a genius to make out who put it there. he reached for the pills and gulped them along with the water, doing a small dance at how disgusting it tasted.
he drank the whole water before grabbing a towel on his way to his bathroom. he made sure to wash his mouth twice with some listerine after brushing his teeth. he took a quick shower, not caring about the amount of vanilla body wash that he was wasting. he ruffled his long, blond hair before wrapping the towel around his hips. he opened his door and was about to walk out when he took a step behind, his arms reaching to cover his chest as he was startled by a very domestic felix, leaned over his laundry basket with a spatula on his other hand. he was picking all of hyunjin's dirty clothes.
"what are you doing here?" hyunjin asked, a little surprised.
"come for breakfast in five." felix said in a monotone, not even sparing a glance at hyunjin before walking outside the room to put his clothes in the washing machine and then walking back to continue with his pancakes. what just happened?
hyunjin's heart warmed at felix's actions. it was too early for being whipped. he was...touched. not going to lie, he had a feeling that felix would just break it off with him from how bad he treated him. he really deserved better.
hyunjin treated him like a piece of shit. he was a fucked up asshole. yet felix stayed. why? why would he do that? he didn't deserve his kindness. he didn't deserve him. guilt gnawed his heart as he thought about it while he get dressed. he didn't care about how he looked though. he just threw on some khaki shorts and a lose white sweater before pulling his hair behind with a beret.
he walked out of his room to see felix setting up their table, lifting his head up at his presence. he locked eyes with him for a quick second, just looking at him. he was beautiful. silver hair disheveled from the number of times he had pushed it aback while he cooked, like always. his eyes with that adoring glint that hyunjin loved. god, he was one lucky bastard to have this angel in his life, wasn't he?
"grab your coffee from the counter and come sit." felix said.
"why are you doing this, felix?" hyunjin asked. felix ignored him as he sat down on his chair as though he didn't just hear anything.
hyunjin sighed under his breath as he walked to the kitchen counter and grabbed his already made black coffee before walking back to the table and sitting on the chair beside felix. he stayed silent as he watched felix serve him his share of pancakes.
he squeaked in surprise when felix leaned down to pull his chair closer to him, making his shoulder clash with hyunjin's. hyunjin bit on his smile as he watched felix ignore him completely, whipping some cream over his pancakes. why did he have to be so sweet?
"eat." he ordered with a blank face and reached for his own strawberry syrup to pour on his pancakes. he took a sip of his coffee before cutting into his pancake, taking a bite of it. hyunjin just watched him. felix turned to find him staring and then went back to eat his breakfast without a word.
"did we make out last night?"
"no." felix answered, looking at him with no surprise. it looked like he was so used to the way hyunjin talked. "why?"
"nothing. i'm just surprised."
"okay." and he continued to eat. okay, what the fuck? was he getting his revenge for the time hyunjin was closing his door in his face?
"are you sure we didn't do anything last night?"
"like what? make up sex?"
oh fuck, that was bold. hyunjin legit blinked.
"um not exactly, but—"
"not everyone who fights want to make up with sex."
"then why are you doing this?" felix looked at him dead in the eye. "after everything i did, shouldn't you like, i don't know, not care for me? if you are doing this out of pity, don't. i'm used to people not caring about me. i'm fine. but stop this, please."
"stop what?"
"caring for me!" hyunjin rasped, his emotions getting the best of him. not again, jeez. "stop caring for me when i don't deserve it. it makes me feel like a piece of shit."
"you are one."
hyunjin stared at him for quick five seconds, deadass. and why was he not offended by that? "i know!" he slapped felix's shoulder. "look, i hate it when we fight. so can we not do this right now?"
"sure but just so you know, you always have been a piece of shit." felix said, pointing his fork at hyunjin. again, hyunjin was not offended and he didn't know why. it was like the old days where they used to bicker. rude and bitchy, but still unbothered.
"that was really helpful." hyunjin smiled sarcastically.
"you're welcome." he said, sipping on his coffee. "also, don't tell me what to do. i'll care if i want to. you will have to just get used to it."
"but why?"
"hwang hyunjin." felix called out sternly, his eyes boring into his. "i've never given up on your ass for years even when i found you annoying. you really think i will give up on you now when i love you?"
love you. hyunjin's heart did a back flip. felix was not giving up on him. he loved him. that moment to hear him say it without any hesitation, hyunjin told himself something—the day he loses felix is the day he is damned.
"that doesn't mean i'm not mad at you. i am." felix said. "you hurt me. and you didn't apologize for it. if time and space is what you need, take it. but stop with that stop caring for me bullshit."
that was a first. the first time someone hadn't given up on him. it was like that; they get close, hyunjin fucks up, they leave and hyunjin couldn't care less. but with felix, it felt...he couldn't explain the feeling. it was like their relationship was struggling on a thread, cutting into their skin from how hard they were trying to hold onto it but their hearts were among the clouds. was this what it felt like to have a healthy relationship?
some things never changed. from how felix was the only person who can put up with his annoying ass to how the two wouldn't have to actually make up. they never sat down and talk it out or get closures. how much ever they fight they always ended up together. its about time hyunjin realized that nothing changed much even after they got into a relationship.
he suppressed his urge to smile before turning to his plate and cutting a piece of his pancake, shoving it in.
the two of them ate in silence when a loud door bell interrupted them.
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