Ambivalence (n.) The state of having mixed feelings or contradictory ideas about someone or something.
Arabella's P.O.V.
"No, I can't do it," I mumbled to myself as I shut the bedroom door for the hundredth time.
For the past few minutes I have been debating with myself whether or not I should go downstairs; I don't think I can ever face him again, I thought as I cringed at the memories from when Nicolo confronted me with my small lover that I've spent many nights with.
The sound of my stomach rumbling interrupted my thoughts as the feeling of hunger took over me.
"Fine," I grumbled to myself as I shut my eyes and took a deep breath while I opened the door.
The sound of muffled voices and the savory aroma of food guided my feet towards the kitchen, but I stopped in my tracks when I witnessed something truly appalling. It was a disservice to me. The unkindness in this estate, I scoffed. The audacity of some men, I thought as I glared at my victim.
"Are you eating my Nutella?!" I yelled at Manny as I saw my opened jar of sweetness in front of him and a sandwich between his hands, just inches away from his mouth.
I watched as his eyes darted frantically across the room towards Nicolo and Leone.
"Leone had some as well!" he sighed out as he held up his hands in surrender.
I snatched my jar of Nutella as I whipped my head towards Leone with my mouth wide open in shock.
"Can't you guys buy your own?" I exclaimed as I dipped my pinky into the jar and brought the hazelnut spread towards my lips, slightly moaning at the pleasure that my taste buds experienced.
"Nicolo doesn't allow unhealthy food in this house," Leone explained from across the counter.
I looked up towards Nicolo and saw that his darkened eyes were watching me carefully as I finished sucking off the chocolate from my finger.
"Mmm, well, I like things that are nutty, sweet, and a bit salty," I said as I licked the chocolate off my lips and stared back at Nicolo, and smirked when I saw him shift in his seat.
"Ti ho detto di non farlo," I heard a woman's voice say behind me (I told you not to do it).
"Non toccare mai il cibo di una donna senza il suo permesso," she said as she walked over to the stove and checked the liquid that was simmering inside of a pot (Never touch a woman's food without her permission).
I turned towards the voice and noticed that it belonged to an elderly woman. Her gray hair was put up into a low bun and the apron that she wore over a quaint dress was covered in different stains from food that she made.
"Ciao, cara," she said to me as wrinkles formed at the corner of her eyes when she smiled.
"Hi, I'm Ara-" I began to introduce myself but she cut me off.
"I know who you are! Piccolo Nicolo has mentioned you quite a bit," she said as she pushed me towards a stool and forced me to sit down (Little Nicolo).
"Piccolo Nicolo," I whispered under my breath so that only Nicolo could hear. I bit the inside of my cheek and placed my index finger over my lips to try and stifle a laugh as I saw him glare at me. I'm never letting this go, I thought to myself as I looked down at my lap to hide my smile.
"Now eat up, you must be hungry. I expect to see an empty bowl when I come back," she said as she placed the soup in front of me.
I looked down at the masterpiece she gave me and dipped my spoon into the velvety red liquid, catching bits of a ring shaped pasta and basil leaves. I sighed in satisfaction and closed my eyes when I brought the spoon to my lips and tasted savory tomatoes with a hint of paprika. Tortellini soup, I thought as I began to devour my bowl. My favorite.
"It's delicious," I said aloud to no one in particular.
"Alice is our chef and has been a close family friend for years," Nicolo said as he watched me finish the soup.
"Well, Alice is amazing," I mumbled out as I brought the bowl to my lips to finish every last drop.
"When you're done making a mess of yourself, get dressed. We are going out," Nicolo said as he stood up from his stool.
"Where are we going?" I asked as I dabbed the corner of my mouth with a napkin.
"We're going to the museum. I want you to be there when I handle some business," he called out as he left the kitchen.
He wants me to be a part of his business meeting? I thought to myself as I finished washing my empty bowl and headed upstairs to my room.
After I freshened up, I zipped up a three-quarter sleeve black dress that hugged my waist and fell just above my knees. It's classy, but not elegantly over-the-top. Plain, but not too casual. Perfect business attire, I thought to myself as I looked into the mirror and slipped on black flats.
"What are you wearing?" Nicolo asked as he watched me walk down the stairs.
"A dress. What are you wearing?" I asserted as I eyed him up and down and walked towards the door of the estate.
"You did not have to dress up for my meeting," he defended as we walked towards his Maserati.
"I like to give good first impressions," I stated as we sat inside his car.
"Don't you think you're a bit underdressed?" I asked while staring at his black button up shirt and pants.
"I do not need to impress anyone, Arabella. My clients do as they are told."
"Sounds like you're running a great business," I said sarcastically as I looked out the window.
"How do you suppose I should run my business?"
"By making deals through negotiations. Something profitable for both parties," I replied as I shrugged my shoulders.
"You don't believe it's a good business deal if I am the only one who profits from it?" he asked with a smirk forming on his lips.
"I believe that is unfair. What do your clients get in return?" I asked with my brows furrowed.
"They receive the shipments and supplies they pay for. How they earn their own money is none of my concern," he replied as he looked at me and turned off the car.
When we walked through the doors of the museum a frown fell upon my face as I looked over to the reception desk and noticed a young woman has replaced Mrs. Gravina's positon.
"Don't worry. Her funeral service and family are being taken care of," Nicolo said to me as he placed a hand on my back and guided me through the entrance.
"Hi, Mr. Mazzerelli! It's a pleasure seeing you here again," the receptionist chirped out as she smiled at Nicolo seductively.
"Just here for business, Eva," he said as we continued to walk down the hallway.
"Mr. Mazzerelli," I heard a familiar voice gasp out with a hint of fear.
"And M-Ms. Aetos," he stuttered out questioningly.
"Mr. Baglioni," I greeted him with a smile and nod as Nicolo and I made our way into an office.
As Nicolo walked into the office, I stopped in the doorway as I hesitantly stared at a man in the room. His curly blonde hair bounced with every step he took as he paced the office frantically and a distressed look clouded over his blue eyes.
"Please, Calvin, have a seat," Nicolo said as he began to light a cigar between his lips.
I followed Calvin towards the large glass table and sat down beside Nicolo.
"Who is she?" Calvin asked as he glared at me.
"She is no one tha-" Nicolo started to say but I rolled my eyes at the words that came out of his mouth. No one? Really?
"I'm his assistant," I blurted out as I crossed my hands on the table and felt his glare bore holes into my skin.
Calvin stared at me hesitantly as Nicolo pulled out a folder and papers that listed out dates and locations.
"Nicolo, we have not received our shipments in The States," Calvin said as he narrowed his eyes towards him.
"We believe that Romano is cutting off our supply," he added, waiting for Nicolo to respond as he just sat there exhaling a puff of smoke.
"And what makes you believe that?" Nicolo asked as he leaned back into his chair.
"He's doing it to weaken your business and-"
"So you doubt the integrity of my men to safely deliver the shipment to you?" Nicolo asked, cutting him off.
"Well, n-no we j-just..." Calvin trailed on but couldn't find the words to explain.
"Our packages are never intercepted. The delivery information is highly confidential and is kept between my men and our clients. I have people that work for me in The States so you should've talked to them first before coming to me. You're simply just wasting my time here," Nicolo said as he brought his cigar towards his lips.
"But this is your business that you're running here so we need to know where the drugs are! The shipments are late and we have made deals with the lower gangs in our area..." Calvin continued to ramble on but I sighed as this meeting was becoming repetitive with no progress made.
"Calvin, are the shipments actually late or are your payments late?" I asked as I eyed him carefully.
"It seems here that you have a long history of making late payments, some even going as far as two weeks," I said, reading the paper when he didn't respond.
"So answer this, how do you expect us to do business with irresponsible and untrustworthy men like you?" I asked as I watched him shift uncomfortably in his seat.
"W-we haven't paid yet but we're working on it and we are usually given updates on where the pack-" he began to answer but I shook my head in disapproval.
"Tell your boss to transfer the money or else you will all be walking around with a target on your backs from the gangs you carelessly made promises to," I said as I leaned in closer to the table.
"You will regret this," Calvin glared at Nicolo and I as he stood up from his chair and walked out the room.
"How did you know he wasn't the boss?" Nicolo asked as he stared at me when a cloud of smoke left his lips.
"His responses were impulsive and his body language displayed his anxiety. He was nervous," I answered as I looked at him.
"I don't find mafia bosses to be the nervous type," I said as I smiled at him and he gave me a smirk in return.
When we started to walk away from the office, I stopped in my tracks when I noticed a very familiar, but boring, painting and scoffed at the sign that hung beside the frame. Sold.
"What is it?" Nicolo asked behind me as he stared at the bland canvas.
"Can you believe someone actually bought this? It's not worth the money," I said as I sighed.
"Why do you think something like that can sell for millions?" he asked.
"Because it's modern art and unique," I said sarcastically as I rolled my eyes.
"Think again," he said and I turned to him with confusion across my face.
Flashbacks came to mind when I thought about the slanted frames that I saw during my first day here and the crazed gunman knocking over the delicate statues. What are you really doing at a museum? I thought as I studied Nicolo. When my eyes swept over the different galleries and pieces of art, it suddenly clicked.
"When I saw you for the first time, you weren't admiring the statues. You were checking to see if it looked real to the public eye," I said as I watched a smile form on his lips.
"These pieces aren't sold for any artistic value..." I continued and saw Nicolo raise his brows, encouraging me to go on.
"There are drugs inside of them," I said softly as I looked around.
"Not all, Arabella, just some," he said as he smiled at me.
"Unbelievable," I mumbled under my breath.
Nicolo chuckled lightly as we began to exit the museum and I saw as he checked the time on his Bulgari watch.
"We are going to have dinner," he said as we entered his car.
"Where?" I asked.
"It's a rooftop restaurant in the center of Rome," he answered as he drove off.
Once we reached the restaurant, the doors of the elevator ringed and opened at the top floor. A gasp escaped my lips as I was introduced to the sunset casting a warm glow on the lavish white tables, string lights gracefully lined the posts and shimmered lightly as the sun continued to set, and the roofs of old buildings peeked over the glass fencings, giving this modern restaurant a taste of history.
"Mr. Mazzerelli," a waiter said as he made his way towards us.
"The same table as usual?" he asked and Nicolo nodded as he observed our surroundings.
I followed Nicolo and the waiter as we made our way towards a secluded corner of the rooftop. The table held a sheer white cloth and candles, along with some floral arrangements to create an elegant centerpiece.
"The same dish as well, sir?" the waiter asked.
"Yes, Marco, thank you," Nicolo responded as we took our seats.
"And for the lady?" he asked, but before I could respond, Nicolo answered for me.
"She'll have the same as well," Nicolo said as he held out his hand to stop the waiter from giving me a menu.
"And a bottle of your finest wine," Nicolo called out as the waiter started to make his way towards the kitchen.
"So, is this where you bring all of your women?" I asked jokingly as I looked out into the city.
"No, the only woman that has ever sat across from me at this table is my mother. The rest I take to my bedroom. Would you like to skip this part, Arabella?" he asked as he smirked at me. I bit my lip as I felt my face flush with red, but before I could respond the waiter made his way back to the table with a wine bottle in hand.
"Grazie," Nicolo said as he began to pour us Domaine Leroy Wine.
"We will be visiting my mother in two days," he blurted out as he picked up his glass.
"Does she live in Rome?" I asked as I took a sip of wine.
"No, we will be flying to Sicily."
"I've never been," I said quietly to myself as a rush of excitement went through me and a smile formed on my face. During my five years in Italy, my studies have kept me bound to the city of Rome, but I've been longing to travel more someday.
"What is she like?" I asked curiously as I gazed at him.
"Who?" he responded with a confused look as he set his glass down.
"Your mother," I answered with a light chuckle and watched as he leaned back into his chair and hesitated to answer.
"My mother is..." he trailed on as he looked out into the busy streets of Rome, pondering for a moment before continuing.
"Stubborn when it comes to advocating for what she is passionate about, she is a woman that isn't afraid to say no. She is persistent on encouraging us to make the right decisions for ourselves and the family. She is adamant on living a just and honest life, although she is in a world that is quite the opposite."
I sat back in my chair as I watched Nicolo talk about his mother in admiration; the words coming from his mouth were wholehearted, sweet, and genuine.
"I may be the boss of this mafia, but she is the heart of this family. She's the strongest woman I know," I heard him say as the last sentence left his lips in a soft and quiet voice. Before I could respond, the waiter made his way to our table.
"And this is her favorite dish, chicken cacciatore," Nicolo said as the waiter set down our plates.
Leaves of rosemary garnished the plate as a rich tomato sauce glazed over the golden seared chicken, allowing a savory aroma to linger in the air. We ate in silence as we watched the sun set below the city skyline, letting the string lights create a tranquil ambiance on the rooftop.
Nicolo was occupied throughout dinner as he made a few business calls with a look of stress glossed over his eyes. In this moment I felt at peace with myself and the man that I once despised, but this was a side of him I've never seen before. It's intriguing. A charming man under the layers of ruthlessness, insensibility, and malevolence.
"Are you ready to go?" he asked as he pulled me out of my thoughts.
"Yes, thank you for dinner," I said as we stood up from the table.
Nicolo handed the waiter a considerable tip and made his way towards the elevator, when he turned around to press the button for the first floor, he looked at me in confusion as I didn't walk in with him.
"I'm just going to use the restroom," I explained.
"I will meet you at the car then," he nodded as the elevator closed and I was met with my flushed cheeks in the reflection of the metal doors.
Why am I feeling this way? I asked myself as I stared into the restroom mirror. It was just dinner; nothing more, nothing less. Pull yourself together, I thought as I cupped a handful of cold water against my face.
As the elevator descended me to the first floor, I began to make my way towards the glass doors that led out into the city. A breeze of cold air lifted my hair from my shoulders as I stepped foot outside. Before I began to walk down the sidewalk towards Nicolo, I noticed a figure standing in an alleyway in front of me. As I squinted my eyes at the person, I recognized him as Calvin.
I observed him carefully as he looked up and directed his attention across the street; my eyes followed his gaze and landed on Nicolo who was leaning against the hood of his car as he held up his phone against his ear. Before I could call out to Calvin he suddenly pulled out a gun from his jacket as he stared angrily towards Nicolo who was still unaware of his presence.
He's going to kill Nicolo. My heart raced as I stood frozen in fear. As much as I grew an unliking towards Nicolo, I've learned to forgive him. I watched as Calvin began to raise the gun, no one deserves to die like this. He has friends to live for, a family, a mother, I thought as my mind went back to Nicolo talking about his mother so lovingly.
A mother should never have to bury her own child, was the last thought that crossed my mind as I ran towards Nicolo.
*****
Author's Note:
Hiya Readers,
A lot happened in this chapter! Nico is definitely a momma's boy, I can't wait to introduce his mother in the story! What do you guys think will happen next?
-Love, A