stuck in the past
The alarm went off in Josephine's bedroom that early morning, immediately awakening her. A hand outstretched for the phone sounding the alarm on the nightstand, eventually stopping it. Josephine mustered out a groan as she stirred underneath the comforter. Soon she slipped out of the comforter then headed to the bathroom to get ready for the day.
Before she took her exit out of her bedroom fully dressed and refreshed for the morning, she snatched a pen and notepad to write out a little note to lay beside the nightstand near the sleeping figure.
Josephine drove to a café downtown to meet her best friend, Alexis moving back into the city.
Since the massive earthquake happened, Bobby had given- well, forced Josephine to take a week or two off to spend time with family and talk to a therapist. She didn't like to be perceived as fragile, though understood that her mental state needs to be stable to work through the 24 hour shifts. She couldn't deny with the triggers led to her having nightmares.
Taking his advice, she started seeing the trauma therapist from work again and slightly reconnected with her mother.
Isabel was stunned when Josephine asked if she could stay a few days. Although, seeing the way she broke down into her arms from that day was enough to say. More so relieved that her daughter came back in one piece, knowing the countless scenarios that could've occurred as a first responder.
When Josephine ended up falling asleep on the couch in the living room after Isabel tucked her grandson into bed, she laid a blanket on her. Her lips tugged into a sad smile while caressing her daughter's face.
Josephine hasn't been responsive to her 118 family besides Bobby checking up on her. She did reply to Hen a few times. Nobody did anything wrong, she felt to isolate herself for a bit before returning to work. Nor did any of them really have to worry about her.
The blond haired woman rose to her feet at the sight of Josephine arriving the café. She braced a wide smile amid suppressing a squeal opening her arms. "It's so good to see you!" Both women engulfed each other erupting into laughter.
"Welcome back," Josephine pulled away with a warm smile.
Once they got settled and ordered their food, Josephine narrowed at her best friend. "How does it feel to be back? I thought New York was going to be your forever home again." She enthused.
Alexis pursed her red lips together, "Feels great, actually. Of course, I will always love New York but life happens, and plans change. With my parents officially back together and my mom moving here. I don't want to be too far away."
"Well, I can't deny that I'm happy you're back. I missed my best friend a lot." The brunette smacked her lips. "How are you fitting in at the hospital?"
"They've been welcoming so far but we'll see." Alexis simply replied. "How are you feeling? I feel it's kind of good timing that I'm back now."
Josephine took a deep breath, reluctantly entailing the recent events. "A break from work has been fulfilling but overwhelming to talk about everything. And then, trying to mend my relationship with my mom is something else. It's only the beginning, maybe we can finally establish a good relationship." She trailed off, fidgeting with her manicured nails after going to the salon with her mother and sister.
Alexis furrowed her eyebrows as she noted something off. "What aren't you telling me, Josie? Spill it."
"Don't yell at me but...I've been seeing Bryan. Scratch that, sleeping with him recently." She confessed, sucking in her lips at her reaction.
"What the fuck, Josie? Why?" Alexis exclaimed. "He cheated on you. Hasn't he humiliated you enough by calling off the wedding and engagement?"
The brunette sunk in her seat a little by a few stares, raking her fingers into her hair. "Can you keep it down? Yes, I remembered everything that happened. I was the one sending out the news." She hissed. "Could you let me explain, please?"
Alexis blew through her lips and leaned back into her seat as the waiter served their drinks. She snatched her cup and took a sip.
Josephine rolled up in her car in front of the house after another therapy session. She parked and then escaped the driver's seat. Only taking a couple of steps towards the house, a door next door burst open gravitating her attention. She halted at the familiar figure exiting out made out to be Bryan.
Her lips parted and eyes stayed intact as this being the first time seeing him since leaving their place a few months back.
Bryan strolled down until feeling eyes burning on him. He lifted them spotting Josephine standing in the pathway of her house. "Josie?"
He paved his way towards the brunette as she met him halfway. The latter shared small smiles coming across each other for the first time in months. "Hey," She shyly waved at him.
"This is a surprise, though my mom mentioned seeing you around since the earthquake..." He trailed off, unsure if he regretted to bring it up. "I-I've been wanting to check in on you but thought I would be the last person you'll want to hear from." He awkwardly scratched the back of his neck.
She briefly looked down, uttering a small laugh. "Yeah, Cap let me or he and my abuelo forced me to take time off for a bit. Can't say no to either authority." She paused, "I understand yet I wouldn't have mind. The only person I'm really talking to is my therapist for first responders."
It became quiet for moment until Josephine moved on to another topic. "What are you doing here?"
"Mom cooked some dumplings, can't say no to that." He humored raising the to go bag his mother packed for him.
"Oh man, I love her dumplings. They're the best." She bit on her lip.
Bryan chuckled out, "Indeed. Um, we can share and catch up if you want? Is it weird?" He cocked his brow with uncertainty. "Unless you have something to do with your family?" He gestured to the house.
Josephine was taken back though shook her head. "Maybe, but I think it'll be nice to talk to someone. Plus, my mom is out with Vanessa to prepare for some baby stuff at her house. Do you want to come in?"
"We hung out that entire day. Had dinner and then back to my place where the rest was history." She sighed out, recalling how easily it was to fall into Bryan's arms again. "Before Bryan and I became a couple, we were best friends. So, part of me missed confiding in the guy I've known most of my life. It was easy."
Josephine stared down at her hands on the table. Meanwhile, Alexis let out a rough sigh. "How long are you two going to be sleeping together? Will this lead to something actually happening or?"
"Oh, no. I-I don't plan on getting back with him." She quickly answered. "We had an understanding these last couple of times are no strings attached. I think I just miss coming home to someone after these shifts- witnessing so much and to walk to the door and be embraced by someone. Gives me an escape." She frowned. "After the earthquake, I've been having nightmares, but his company has helped defuse it."
"I understand, but the longer you keep have this no strings attached might bring up old feelings. It doesn't help that you and Bryan have this solid relationship. I'm sure neither of you fully moved on since it's been months. I love you Josie, but you can't let yourself be stuck in the past."
Alexis reached out for Josephine's hand in a comforting matter. "You broke up for a reason."
Josephine twisted the doorknob open revealing Bryan on the other side. She tugged a half grin and widened the door for him to step inside. "Thanks for coming."
They walked into the living room where Bryan sat on the couch while she left to the kitchen to grab two glasses of water. She stood in her kitchen after pouring a pitcher into the glasses. Her fingers drummed on the marble counter with Alexis' voice roaming in the back of her head.
She pushed herself away from the counter and grabbed the glasses to retreat to the living room. Bryan's head rose when she approached. He thanked her for the glass of water, taking a swig. "I think I know where this is going but I will let you say it yourself." He predicted, hiding a slight smirk.
His remark caused her to bite down her lip from laughing. "Unfortunately, we've known each other for most of our lives." She mused, bringing her legs onto the couch for comfort. Even with the most unreadable expression, Bryan could easily decipher in a matter of seconds to which she usually dislikes half of the time.
"I have to be honest with you, Bryan. Spending time together has been great because you've always been my safety net through and through. I will always appreciate you; you know. Even though we declared enough there are no strings attached, it's a lie." She sighed, eliciting a sad smile. "We both have been lying to ourselves."
As Josephine and Bryan known each other like the back of their hands, sharing that their intentions was out of lust- the two disregarded the lies spoken merely through looking in each other's eyes.
She leaned into the palm of her hand as she softening her gaze at him. "So, I think it is best to stop this before it gets complicated for us." The other hand reached for his hand and then squeezing it.
"I know. Being with you felt right again." Bryan professed, glancing down at their hands. Like Josephine, he struggled the last few months without her- adjusting to this new chapter. They've always thought of a long life together since establishing their friendship for years.
"It does. But we need to face reality and keep moving forward on our own." Josephine pressed her lips together.
"Thanks for buying lunch," Alexis hummed after taking a bite from the In-N-Out cheeseburger. She sat outside in the hospital courtyard upon her lunch break with Josephine.
Earlier, Josephine messaged Alexis opting to visit by persuading buying lunch for the two. Alexis was easily compelled into the offer, remotely receiving a visit from her best friend the first week working at the hospital.
Josephine shrugged, plopping a French fry into her mouth. "No problem, I actually wanted to talk to you. More so, update you." She anticipated to see the intriguing expression on the blond's face.
"Lay it on me," Alexis mumbled with a mouth full of cheeseburger, winking.
The brunette stifled a laugh as her best friend proceeded to finish chewing. "Bryan is completely out of the picture. We both agreed how desperate we were to cling onto each other out of comfort. How difficult it is to not be in each other's lives as much anymore. Sucks that my place is a bit lonely now." She confessed, drawing a fry into her ketchup sauce.
"You're not really alone, Josie. You have me, your family, and the 118, right?" Alexis reminded, trying to cheer her up. "Someday, your place won't be lonely."
"What if that someday would be now?" Josephine inquired, narrowing at her best friend. "Why don't you move in with me? We could live together like our college days. Plus, I have a lot of room all thanks to me Nana eagerly moving me into another penthouse." She listed on the many reasons where Alexis couldn't decline.
Alexis' lips curved into a grin while Josephine waited for her answer. "That is a hard pass. So, yes, I will be honored to live with you again. Anything to get out of my parents' place." She laughed. "Does that mean I get to join you and the infamous Buck movie nights?"
She sipped her lemonade, "Unless you don't want me third wheeling these dates." She emphasized, earning an eye roll from the brunette. "What? He brings the takeout, you two watch a movie, and have drinks while losing yourself in those conversations after dark. That is a flat out date, Josie."
"May I remind you he has a girlfriend."
"And may I remind you, my best friend is lying to herself. You struggle through these dates from dating apps because you're covering up the fact you like Buck." Alexis retorted. "I get it, you are freshly single and he's holding onto a relationship bound to break. There's nothing wrong to have those feelings. It's not your fault."
That evening Josephine cleaned out the empty room for Alexis to move in the next few days. She cleared out any of her belongings stored temporarily. To be roommates with her best friend again, couldn't have been better timing. As loose ends were tied once more and steps to heal old wounds commenced, Josephine called Bobby about returning to work.
After dismissing the call with Bobby there was an exhale of relief, believing her life was back on track again. The last time a shift hit her this hard was the first dispatch call where she lost someone. Nancy Baker, 34 years old and a mother to 6-year-old Stacey Baker.
Clearly it stung for Josephine to witness a young child experiencing a loss of a parent. Remotely hitting too close to home. She almost quit, gave into her mother's wishes to leave this career field as a first responder.
However, Josephine remembered one of the things Diego taught her- to dust yourself off and keep going. With the encouraging words from the 118, more specifically Chimney entailing the tragic loss of his best friend and brother Kevin Lee sacrificing himself on the job. Josephine proceeded to apply her father's words during each dispatch call and give her all to protect and save the lives of civilians.
Upon carrying the last box into her room, the doorbell followed by a couple of knocks signaled Josephine's attention. Her feet shuffled out of the room and towards the door not expecting any visitors.
"Bobby said you were taking time off and that you've been checking in with him. I-I had to see you for myself if you were okay." Buck stood outside with his hands stuffed in his pockets.
Josephine's hand was plastered onto the doorway while the other gripping on the knob. Her lips parted in surprise by his abrupt presence. "Would you like to come in and catch up?" She pulled the door back inviting Buck inside.
He nodded in response and strolled inside after she stepped to the side. She watched him head towards the living room as she lingered leaning back on the door. The conversation with Alexis earlier began to brew inside her head.
"I hope you and everyone else didn't take it into offense I was ignoring your calls or messages." She said sincerely. They latter were seated at the couch where Josephine explained reluctantly from the day of the earthquake to utilizing this break from work between seeing a therapist and mending straining relationship with her mother.
Buck scrunched his face, shaking his head at her apologizing. "We understand. That day was rough for us- everyone really. You almost died up there, so it's understandable that you needed time to recuperate. Especially how that shift must've hit close to home. I rather you prioritize yourself first before heading into the field."
Josephine sniffled at the genuine response, "Thanks, and don't worry I'll be back working the next shift with you guys. I miss everyone despite this refreshing time off. Although, I heard I've been replaced by a 7-year-old?" She amused, hearing about Eddie's son Christopher had joined the team for a few hours from Hen.
"And he was quite close taking your job permanently." He retorted, curving a smirk. They fell into a fit of laughter until his face faltered. "I should've worked quickly to tie you up-"
"Evan, stop." She softly called, resting a hand on top of his hand on his lap. He perked up when she called by his name in a serious tone. "The only part that matters are you and Eddie saved me. You never let go and are the reason I'm still alive today."
Buck deeply exhaled, "I don't know what I would do if I've lost you." His eyes dawned at her hand on top of his.
She slipped it away, clearing her throat ignoring her rapid heartbeat. "Won't have to worry about that anytime soon if you remember that the 118 never leaves anyone behind." She stood on her feet, "How about I order some takeout and you pick a movie? If you'd want to stay."
"Already picked one."
Josephine spread a wide smile and went ahead to make the call. As she stalked off, Buck went a head to turn on the tv and click through the guide for a movie. He didn't notice the brunette's lingering eyes on him standing to the side of the room and listening to the ringing on the line.
Perhaps not all loose ends were tied.
-You met Alexis a bit in part one. She will have more of a role in part two! Also, lovely appearance of Bryan. Will this be his last one? Obviously, I won't leave you hanging not without adding a cute Josie and Buck moment at the end. The ideas that I've been anticipating to write in for the following chapters will be fun. Hope you like it! Tell me what you think! Don't forget to vote and comment! Stay tuned!-
WRITTEN: 8/29/21
PUBLISHED: 8/30/21