content warning: mentions of family bullying, emotional abuse, self-deprecating attitudes, insecurities, obsessional thinking, attempt to unwanted intercourse, negative submissive behavior, etc.
Keeping Taehyung his dirty little secret was exciting. Every day felt like a challenge, where Taehyung would sneak inside his college without Jungkook's knowledge, and pull him suddenly inside an empty classroom, a bathroom, or a janitor's closet.
This would happen at any time of the day, so it was hard for Jungkook to know when to expect him. Jungkook would just be walking around with Joon and Hobi, during breaks and between classes, and suddenly he would be snatched by his waist inside some room.
A room, Jungkook would only perceive what it was after their memento was done, and the maknae had to get back to classes.
Jungkook would whine and punch Taehyung's chest right before he was pressed against a wall, but his tantrums would fastly lose strength and get lost at the moment, as soon as the older's teeth nibbled tenderly his bottom one.
It was like the world lost meaning, and as if time and space were just a whimsical concept. Jungkook's heart thumped so strongly like he ran a marathon, yet his breath would always get stuck in his throat.
It was ridiculous how Taehyung could always make his cheeks burn a beautiful scarlet hue, or his legs quake, without giving Jungkook a hint of fear of falling on his knees, all because he knew Taehyung would catch him.
The gangster's hold was tight, yet delicate, careful; Just like his kisses, his caresses, and his sweet words that made a horde of butterflies winding inside Jungkook's stomach.
Taehyung made Jungkook feel like he was floating. He made Jungkook feel like he was losing his mind because he would always want more, more, so much more... but shortly before Jungkook dared to cross a line he had no idea why it existed, Taehyung would stop him and leave the same way he appeared, leaving only a trace of a soft peck at the top of Jungkook's head.
Yet, this time, Jungkook grabbed his wrist, stopping Taehyung from leaving, looking at the gangster with brimming tears.
It hadn't been a good morning. His siblings, as usual, had made stupid remarks about Jungkook's love life; poking about how he had been single for so long, how Jungkook didn't know how to be single, because he was needy;
Mocking him while telling he had mommy and daddy issues; Accusing him of being desperate for attention and implying that all of his boyfriends only dated him to brag about Jungkook to their circle of friends, and to laugh at how easy the younger one was...
It made Jungkook feel vulnerable and self-conscious. It took him into a spiral about himself, his personality, his looks, the way he acted and dressed... He loved dressing like a girl, it made him feel pretty; he knew he didn't dress for others, nor to be the center of attention, but sometimes it got to his head.
He usually wouldn't let it affect him, but he guessed his feelings for Taehyung were getting stronger, scarier to deal with. And it made Jungkook question everything, made him question even his exes and believe that the reason they didn't really like him, was because he was neither a boy nor a girl.
It was a stupid conclusion, but the demons in his mind made him question everything.
It was definitely not a good morning and Jungkook just wanted to be reassured, but being rejected once again when he pushed his hips against Taehyung's, trying to seek something deeper physically, even if what he really looked for was emotional, only pushed Jungkook down into a well of self-pity and insecurity.
"Why do you always leave when I try to get more intimate?" He questioned with a wavering tone, not daring to look up into Taehyung's eyes and show his vulnerability.
"Pretty, we're on your school's grounds..." The older man tried to explain, coming closer and pushing a strand of hair behind Jungkook's ear, never stopping to look at the younger with adoring eyes.
"Then take me to your house, or to your lair. You never invite me over anymore." As soon as he secured his tears away and swallowed the lump in his throat, Jungkook looked up with a flare of something close to burning frustration.
"It feels like you don't want me." He accused.
Taehyung frowned, surprised by Jungkook's sudden change of tone and expression, from begging to accusing, and the gangster just wanted to understand what was going through the younger's mind, as well as he wanted to assure him.
He sighed and pulled Jungkook closer, trying to untie the younger's tangled arms and soothing two fingers over the crease between Jungkook's eyebrows.
"You're saying nonsense, baby. Of course, I want you, but we promised to take things slow, didn't we? We don't need to rush things." Taehyung spoke with a soft tone, stroking Jungkook's cheekbone with his thumb.
Jungkook pouted, wanting to shake Taehyung's hand away, but ending up leaning into the caress, and finally untangling his crossed arms to cover Taehyung's hand with his own.
Jungkook was back to the doe pleading eyes, and his hand felt cold and trembling; it made Taehyung frown again and want to pull the younger into his protective and comforting arms, which was exactly what he did.
Jungkook's arms circled Taehyung's waist, hands gripping tightly the back of the black shirt, as he buried his face in Taehyung's chest, searching for some sort of anchor for his raging feelings and his chaotic, toxic thoughts, with no success.
It only seemed his mind to be more crowded than before, leaving him suffocating, desperate.
"I changed my mind- take me home with you, please." He mumbled with a croaky voice that got smothered by the hug.
"Jungkook..." Taehyung sighed, carding his fingers through Jungkook's long hair, pulling back to try to see the younger's face.
"You're in the middle of your school day and I already explained to you that some things are going on in the warehouse and it's best if I don't take you there."
"What about your apartment? You told me you have an apartment." Jungkook pushed away just enough to look up at Taehyung with puckered lips.
"I do, but I'm not there currently because of work and because there are some renovations going on; Jimin's idea." Taehyung rolled his eyes, but his words dug deeper inside Jungkook's chest.
"I'm currently sleeping at the warehouse or at my parents', and I don't think it's a good idea to take you back to my parents' house."
A prickling feeling broke at the back of Jungkook's eyes because all of Taehyung's words sounded like excuses, but he didn't want to believe his demons. He felt a big black cloud hovering over him, looming closer and closer, whispering venomous words that he didn't want to believe but was tired of fighting back.
"Then take me right here."
Jungkook spoke with a sudden rush, pushing his body off Taehyung's comfortable cage, which made a bad shiver run down his spine and a feeling of abandonment overwhelm him. Taehyung frowned, but before he could understand what was going on Jungkook's mind he saw the younger falling on his knees, looking up with teary eyes.
"Nobody is coming inside, the door is locked a-and hyungs are outside-" He said, hands reaching for Taehyung's belt, rushing to open it.
"Jungkook, what are you doing? Stop!" Taehyung shouted, pushing Jungkook's hands away and stepping back to button up his jeans again.
Jungkook looked dejected, broken, big fat tears falling down his face as he sat on his heels, lips trembling right before a sob broke his throat and he let his face fall.
"I'll j-just suck you, yo-you don't even have to to-touch me." Taehyung was flabbergasted, speechless, motionless, not understanding what the hell was going on.
"I don't want you to suck me." He determined with a soft voice, coming closer to Jungkook and kneeling in front of him, unaware of what to do or how to react.
"Why?" Jungkook wailed, his cry becoming harder and breaking Taehyung's heart. He quickly pulled Jungkook to his arms, trying to console him.
"Babe, why are you crying?"
"Is it be-because I'm a g-guy? Even though I d-dress like a girl, I-I'm a guy." Jungkook questioned between his weeping.
"What are you talking about, pretty? I know you're a guy!" Taehyung was so in shock by Jungkook's accusations, raking his mind, searching for anything he said or done that could've led to this.
"Bu-but I only see girls hoo-hooked on you i-in your pictures. Even on your f-friends accounts, you're al-ways with girls." Jungkook pointed out, letting himself be hugged by Taehyung but not really reacting to that.
"Jungkook, look at me." Taehyung's stern tone prompted Jungkook to obey, tears still falling hard but slower, which lured Taehyung to catch them and whip them off Jungkook's puffy face.
"Yes, in the past I've been more with girls than guys, but that doesn't mean I'm not attracted to boys too." Taehyung sighed, kissing Jungkook's wet closed lids and hugging him tighter, resting his chin on the top of the younger's head.
"I'm so attracted to you Jungkook, however you dress like, as a boy or a girl, I like you a lot." He assured and Jungkook searched for Taehyung's eyes trying to find a glimpse of lies but only finding the truth.
"I like you, who you are as a person, and what you have here, and here." He said, pointing to Jungkook's head and then his heart.
"Then why don't you want to have sex with me?" Jungkook questioned with a sheepish, unsure voice, so filled with sadness it made Taehyung feel angry at himself for letting Jungkook get that idea, just because he decided to be cautious.
"Who said I don't want to? Jungkook, fuck, you have no idea how much I crave for you. I'm just taking things slow because, one: I don't want to have sex in my warehouse or here, where everyone can hear us; two: I want our first time to be special, because I want you to know that I'm serious about us. You're not just a one-night stand or a casual hook-up. I care about you and I want to give you everything you deserve."
This was exactly the reassurance Jungkook was seeking from the start and for some reason, it burst a heavier cry from him, who tried to curl in himself and hide his face on his arms that hugged his knees.
"Hey pretty, don't cry. I like you so, so much, please, never doubt that." Taehyung hugged Jungkook again, caressing his head and back and planting soft pecks on the crown of Jungkook's head.
"I'm scared." The younger admitted, sniffling his tears and looking up to Taehyung, who was attentively and patiently hearing.
"I'm scared that once my parents find out about you, my family is gonna do everything to make you leave."
"I'm not going anywhere, my pretty, pretty bunny," Taehyung said as he cupped Jungkook's face, his hands practically covering him whole.
"Nobody ever stays." Jungkook pouted.
"Good thing I'm not just everybody." The biker said with a smirk.
"I like you too, a lot." Jungkook admitted, making Taehyung's grin grow wider.
"Yeah?"
Jungkook hummed as he nodded shortly. He was ready to open up to Taehyung about his feelings, because he felt safe and heard, and because for the first time they were true.
Taehyung leaned over to peck his lips protractedly, and hug him tight again as they sat on the cold dusty floor.
"I don't think I ever liked anybody as much as I like you." He confessed, resting his chin on the crook of Taehyung's neck, arms enlacing around his shoulder and fingers playing with the hair at the back of Taehyung's head.
"My siblings were right when they said I had too many boyfriends only because I was needy for attention, and not because I like them. But you... you make me feel things I have never felt before." Taehyung let out a heavy and angry sigh at those words, but not once he broke apart from Jungkook, his voice still sounding soft and careful as he said his next words.
"Fuck what your siblings said. How would you not look for attention when you're always treated so badly by your own family? There is nothing wrong with looking for affection. You deserve all the affection and attention in the world, and I'll make it my mission to always make you feel cared and loved for." Jungkook's heart was beating so fast and hard in his chest, he was sure it could be heard and felt.
"Don't say these things." He whispered whinily.
"Why? It makes my pretty baby flustered?" Taehyung smirked, pecking the side of Jungkook's head again as the maknae tried to hide his face on Taehyung's chest, which only made him realize how the other's heart was also beating strongly.
For him.
"It makes me fall in love with you." Taehyung smiled at those words, pulling back to look down at Jungkook and cup his face as he chased after a soft, yet intense kiss.
"I have to go know, and so should you." Taehyung warned, knowing fully well that Jungkook was already late to his classes.
"I'll come back tomorrow. You're already missing your favorite class, you should go back." He said, spreading feathery kisses all over the younger's pouty face.
"Ok." Jungkook nodded, getting up from the floor with Taehyung's help.
When they finally walked out of the room, and after Taehyung waved him goodbye and left, Jungkook's hyungs looked at him with questioning faces.
"We heard you crying; is everything okay?" Hoseok asked with a concerned grim looming over him.
"Did he try to hurt you?" Namjoon questioned with an angry frown.
He was still frustrated that Hoseok held him back from busting down the door and entering the room to see what was happening. But the driver argued that if Jungkook was really in trouble, he would yell for help.
"I'm just having a bad day. And no, Taehyung didn't try to hurt me, it was more the other way around." Jungkook answered, dusting off his skirt and pulling up a little powder container from his little flower bag, trying to tone down his reddening face.
"What? What does that mean?" Namjoon questioned, apprehensive.
"I have to get back to classes, I'm so late!" Jungkook yelped after looking at his phone's digital clock, running off through the hallways.
"What did he mean?" Namjoon asked, still confused but Hoseok shook his head.
"It's best if we don't know." He said before picking up the pace to run behind Jungkook.
-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈
Jungkook still didn't feel good, even though Taehyung reassured him and made him feel loved. What his siblings said to him that morning, was still ingrained in his brain, seeping down his veins and settling on his heart.
And it didn't help that his mind was blowing everything out of proportion. He just wanted the day to be over so that he could sleep it off, but until then, he kept trying to fight his demons.
He wanted to believe Taehyung. The other never had given him any reasons for Jungkook to doubt him. It had been Jungkook's own choice to keep them on the low.
And it wasn't like Taehyung had really rejected him when he tried to grind on him. Jungkook felt how aroused the biker was many times before, how he kissed him even more fervently when Jungkook whined or moaned, how his hands tightened on their place, as if holding back from traveling around.
The grunts Taehyung let out every time Jungkook brushed his tight, his own crotch or his ass on the older, and the way he kept pressing their bodies together for a while before finally pushing Jungkook away delicately, were a great indicator of how much Taehyung desired him.
He couldn't also forget all the hours they would spend texting, late at night, or the gifts Taehyung would send him, to compensate for the times he couldn't come visit, or just because he felt like spoiling Jungkook.
But why did Jungkook still feel like he was undeserving?
Why did he still feel that Taehyung was just his excuse to piss off his parents?
Because Jungkook never, really, made the effort to hide he had someone new. He would smile absentmindedly during dinner, lost in his own thoughts and memories of his time with Taehyung. And he would speak with him on call for hours, his bedroom door barely closed.
Maybe he wanted them to know that he had finally found someone who truly liked him; show them that, this time, they wouldn't be able to pull them apart. Yet, at the same time, Jungkook was scared; scared that his family would ruin everything, once again.
And maybe he wasn't just falling for Taehyung, maybe he was already in love with him.
Jungkook was fighting internally, denying that possibility because it was too soon. He only met Taehyung less than three months ago, how could he possibly be already in love? It scared him feeling like this because he knew he would hurt harder like he never did before if Taehyung left him.
His previous relationships were built on his yearn to be noticed and desired by anyone who gave him a flicker of attention. Jungkook would say he loved them too fast, but he never intentioned it. Like they never did, too, when they said they loved him back.
Maybe that was why they all left so quickly, or why their promises were all empty.
Jungkook could feel the sincerity in Taehyung, but he also couldn't help feeling insecure.
It was all his family's fault.
He hated them, but he didn't have in him the strength or the courage to leave home and live on his own. Because deep down he needed their approval, their love, even if he had stopped hoping for it long ago.
It felt similar to Stockholm Syndrome to him, and it was awful thinking, because those were his parents and siblings after all. Even though they didn't show they cared, they kept providing for him, letting him do whatever he pleased. They also kept him protected...
"Hyungs? Do you think I deserve to be loved?" Jungkook asked on the backseat of the car.
His hyungs looked at him from the reflection of the rearview mirror with wide shocked eyes, startled by the sudden question. It was the second time Jungkook had asked something similar to that and it brought a disconcerting and ugly feeling to both bodyguards.
"Of course you do, Kook. What are you even saying?" Hoseok pressed his fingers tighter on the wheel, eyes wandering off between the road and the rearview mirror, trying to see what type of face the maknae was making.
"Maybe I'm just too broken to be loved. Maybe I'm hopeless and incapable of letting someone really love me. Or even capable of loving someone." Jungkook mumbled, still loud enough to be heard after Namjoon had decreased the volume of the radio.
"Did something happen with Taehyung?" Namjoon carefully asked.
He knew Jungkook had said he was just having a bad day, but something happened with the gangster for Jungkook to break into a pitiful weeping.
"It doesn't matter, the problem is with me." Jungkook brushed the event with Taehyung off because he felt ashamed of it, but before Namjoon could refute, Hoseok stepped in.
"Is it because of what your siblings said today?"
He wasn't present when that happened, but Seokjin had texted him privately about it when Hoseok told him Jungkook cried. Namjoon frowned, confused and feeling left out. Jungkook only sighed before answering, lowering his head and playing with the hem of his .
"They're right, you know? I never loved anyone. All the guys I dated, were to prove some stupid point to my family, and every time, I lost against them and ended up alone."
"And you think you're doing the same with Taehyung?" Hoseok asked carefully, trying to soften the conversation with a calm tone and warm eyes.
"I don't know. Some part of me really likes him, like... like I never liked anyone before, but another part of me, a part that gnaws at my guts, is telling me I'm just lying to myself."
It was hard for Jungkook to hold back the tears. He felt so overwhelmed just letting out a few of his demons, praying for that to soothe his darkness and prevent it from becoming stuffy and darker.
"Bun, you know I'm still hesitant over your relationship with a gang member, right?" Namjoon started, receiving a nod from Jungkook with pouty lips, and a glare from Hoseok, who wanted him to be careful with his words.
"But you've been happier than I've ever seen you in the five years I've known you. He is good to you, treats you well. The other guys, they just... they liked you alright, but they weren't serious. Or at least they were easily scared away or quickly bought. I doubt Taehyung will cower before your family."
Hearing those words from Namjoon, his most protective hyung, filled Jungkook's heart with a light, relieved feeling that helped him push the dark cloud full of demons away.
Hoseok, too, was speechless, mouth falling slightly open and blinking eyes looking carefully at his partner. He never expected Namjoon to be so open and sincere regarding Taehyung.
Hoseok knew him to be rational and wary, always suspicious and walking a step ahead to avoid bad things from happening. It almost looked like he was possessive or obsessed, but mainly it looked like he was a big pessimist.
But it was just part of his job.
When he had to strip from bodyguard Kim Namjoon, he was Jungkook's Joonie hyung, and that guy was warm and gave good advice.
"But the same I can't say about money or blackmail. He's a gangster, it's now up to you to believe that he will keep staying by your side, no matter the amount of money your family throws his way. Or..." Namjoon continued, and Jungkook felt a rush of anxiety and fear for what his hyung could say next.
"Or?"
"Or you could just make a decision to protect your heart."
Jungkook knew well what that meant. It meant he had to make a decision between letting go or holding on. One decision would be based on fear, on prevention. The other would be based on hope, but it could also mean accepting damage with open arms.
One thing Jungkook was sure of; he couldn't decide without talking with Taehyung one more time.
"Hobi hyung, can you take me to Taetae's warehouse?" He asked, and even though the bodyguards' wanted to refuse, they couldn't. Firstly because Jungkook was their boss, and second because maybe he deserved closure.
-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈
Jungkook had no clue what he wanted for his future with Taehyung. Do they even have a future? Right now, what they had was casual, they were just getting to know each other.
But would they seriously date?
If it wasn't for Jungkook's family and Taehyung's involvement with gangs and illegal stuff... would they work?
Would they work, even taking all the bad odds out?
There was no way to predict the future, but Jungkook wanted to know if Taehyung was all in. He wanted to make sure, just one more time.
"You can't come in." One of the gang members guarding the entrance stated.
"Why? I just want to talk with Taehyungie hyung for a bit." Jungkook explained with a sad grimace, but the big guy wasn't bulging out. "Tell him I'm here, please. He's not picking up his phone." The maknae begged, but the guard didn't seem moved.
"He's busy. You can't come in." The guy repeated, like a freaking robot.
"Oh... then just- hm- Can you just tell him I'm here outside, and that I'll be waiting for him?" The man, once again, ignored his request and Jungkook pouted, turning around and walking out of the alleyway with staggering steps.
Jungkook tried, once more, to call Taehyung and send him messages, to no avail. He knew Taehyung was busy and that he didn't want Jungkook near his business, but he had a bad feeling growing in the pit of his stomach.
He just wanted to be in his Taetae's arms so bad right now, forget everything, and drown in his kisses. Jungkook desperately needed him, because his demons were starting to take over him, once more.
"We should go back home, Jungkook. It's getting late." Namjoon suggested. It was already way past lunchtime and, even though they could try to justify Jungkook's absence for the afternoon snacks, the Jeon's hated tardiness when it came to dinner.
"I just want to talk with Taetae first," Jungkook said with big doe eyes, that could easily disarm anyone, except the big gangster guy at the entrance of the Claws lair.
"Try calling him again. I'll try to call Yoongi and Jimin." Hoseok suggested, already pulling out his phone and gesturing for Namjoon to do the same.
"Go wait inside the car, it's getting cold." He proposed, guiding the maknae by the small of his back.
Jungkook pouted, looking back in hopes to see if the burly gangster guarding the entrance had at least passed the message, but he didn't seem to have moved an inch. Jungkook let himself be guided inside the car, playing with his phone to distract himself, and looking back inside the alley from time to time with high hopes.
They spent almost an hour inside the car waiting until they heard the rumble of bikes echoing on the alleyway and the flashes of the headlights beaming through the dark afternoon.
Jungkook felt his heart trudge at the idea of Taehyung leaving without talking with him, so he jumped out of the car without a second thought, and ran towards the alleyway, putting himself in front of the bikes that were slowly coming into the side street in a horde.
His reckless act almost had him run over by one of the bikes, which made him startledly step back, trip on a pebble, and fall butt down on the ground with a hurtful bump.
"Jungkook!" Namjoon screamed, running to the younger's aid, helping him get up and protecting him from the motorcycles with his own body.
At the commotion, all the bikes stopped in a triangle formation, with three bikes directly at the front. One of the front row bikers, exactly the one at the tip of the triangle, pulled his helmet out in a swift motion.
"What the hell do you think you are doing?" Taehyung questioned, with a cold tone that broke Jungkook's heart.
It was more of a worried angry tone, but still, it was enough to make Jungkook's bottom lip wobble. He opened his mouth to try and explain himself, to ask for just a fraction of Taehyung's time, to quench his heart;
But he soon bit down his tongue when he noticed a girl at the back of Tae's bike, arms tightly encircling his waist. She tilted her head and raised the viewfinder to look from Jungkook to Taehyung.
Taehyung was still looking at him with a deep frown, waiting for a response, but Jungkook had nothing to say. Everyone was looking at him with weird eyes, huffing impatiently, roaring their bikes as if trying to rush Jungkook or silence him, and that made him feel pressured and vulnerable.
"Oppa, do you know him?" The girl on the backseat of the bike asked, but before Taehyung could say anything, Jungkook got up on his feet, turned around, and ran away.
Taehyung made a motion to get off his bike, but Yoongi put his hand in front of Taehyung's chest, shaking his head in disapproval, which made him huff, irritated. His only alternative was to try to understand from the man who still was there, standing, yet hesitant.
"Namjoon hyung, what's going on?" Taehyung questioned, as to which the bodyguard shook his head with a downturn expression and left.
"Trouble in paradise?" Jimin snickered.
"Shut up, I'll talk to him later." Taehyung put his helmet on again, taking the supporter off the ground as his hyung spoke.
"We should get going before we arrive late," Yoongi warned. Taehyung knew they shouldn't arrive late if they didn't want to make his father mad.
The horde of bikers quickly drove off into their destiny, but before Taehyung could follow along, the girl behind him squeezed his waist.
"Is he the boy you've been daydreaming about?" The girl behind him snickered with a smirk, watching him as Taehyung hummed with a soft smile she couldn't see but could hear in the softness of his onomatopoeia.
-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈
Jungkook wanted to cry.
Of course, Taehyung would be with a girl!
Yes, Jungkook knew it could all just be a misunderstanding, but right now he didn't want to be rational. He was too fragile to think clearly and not freak out. Insecurity clouding above him like a monster, making him curl up and drain all his confidence out of him.
He just wanted to cry and sleep, so that was exactly what he did when he arrived home, despite his father's yelling at him for coming late for dinner.
On any other day, Jungkook would stay put, waiting for his father's avail for him to even move, head tugged down and eyes locked on his shoes, but right now if he indulged his family even for one bit, he would explode, so he did what he thought was the best alternative and ran to his room, locking the door and hiding under the covers.
Tomorrow he would deal with the consequences.
Throughout the night he heard his name being called countless times, anger and frustration oozing from his family's voices. Big thumps against the door followed AND incessant pings on his phone kept going on all night, but he ignored it all.
He just didn't want to exist at that moment.
His demons had a party that night. All the worst possible scenarios came to life in his mind. He tried to sleep it off, but even his dreams were dreadful, and Jungkook was so tired that even if crowded by nightmares, he just wanted to sleep.
The morning came lazily. His head hurt from all the crying, and his skin tugged painfully due to the dry tear stains spread all over his face. His body was stiff and sore from sleeping in the same fetal position for countless hours in a row.
Jungkook didn't want to get up, but if he missed another meal, he would never hear the end of it. His brain felt so tired that even if his demons kept whispering at him, he couldn't process it, at least for now.
So he took advantage of it and got up, stretching his limbs and cracking his back and neck, looking at the nightstand watch, to see that it was already past 8 am.
His phone was right in front of him, but Jungkook was scared to go through all the messages he had received the night before. He was still hopeful that some of those messages and calls were from Taehyung, but he also dreaded finding none of them were from him.
So for now he decided to ignore it.
Jungkook got on his feet, deciding to take a shower first, to try to diminish his headaches and soothe his sore body. When he finally walked out of his bedroom, he took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for the earful his parents would give him for the past night's events.
But when Jungkook arrived in the dining room, everyone was silently eating, refusing to acknowledge his presence.
If they thought they were ostracizing him in any way, they were wrong; Jungkook was grateful for the lack of comments. His head still ached badly and silence was what he most craved since the previous day.
Jungkook ate peacefully, slowly, playing with his food, but as soon as his parents finished eating, the maknae felt all eyes on him.
It was too good to be true that the silence would remain.
"Ap-" He tried to start explaining himself, but he was rudely interrupted.
"We thought you had already reached your quota of idiocy, but you keep negatively surprising us." His father spoke calmly but coldly, making a shiver run down the maknae's spine and making him shudder at the sharp words.
"Appa..." Jungkook's voice sounded way worse than he expected and he had to clear his throat before continuing.
"I had a really bad headache last night. I'm so sorry for running away from dinner, but I really needed to sleep it off."
It wasn't a total lie, but it was the best excuse he could think of for his behavior.
"Don't try to pass us as stupid Jungkook!" His noona snapped, and the maknae looked at her with confusion.
"We're talking about your new boy toy," Jeongyeon added, which made Jungkook hold his breath and dart his eyes between his family members.
"What?" He whispered, a light gasp following the choked words.
"A gangster? You keep reaching new lows, but this one... this is rock bottom!" His mom's accusations were like a sick joke from the universe after yesterday's rollercoaster, where he kept thinking if he should give up on his relationship with Taehyung or not.
"H-how do you know about Taehyungie hyung?" He asked with a small voice, feeling everyone's angry gaze cornering him and forcing him to shrink in himself.
"You're not even trying to deny it." His sister scoffed, shaking her head. "And it's not like you were trying to hide it. We knew you had someone new. We were just waiting for you to try to flaunt him to us."
"It was really weird that it was taking you so long to spill the beans about your new lover." His brother continued, his fiery gaze burning down on Jungkook's face.
"And after your little stunt last night, it was the last straw for us. So I picked the car Jung drove yesterday and trailed back the GPS coordinates to your little boyfriend's turf." Jungkook's eyes felt like they were almost jumping out of orbit at those words, his heart beating unbalanced.
"Firstly I didn't see anything special about the place, but then I saw some bikes entering the alleyway and my instincts told me to follow them. I hid behind a trash container and heard voices nearby and they were talking about you." Jungkook wanted to ask what he heard them talking but if he showed interest, it would be worse.
"Why didn't you pick your boyfriend's phone calls? Did you already break up?" His sister snickered, seemingly acquainted with the matter.
"Enough with the games!" The patriarch decreed with a slam on the table. "A gangster?"
"Appa, he's a good guy, I promise-"
"SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" At the vocal outburst, the entire table shook and the inhabitants trembled and craven in silence.
"Don't even try to defend this- this scummy criminal!" The matriarch intervened, but only on her husband's stance, who was too out of it to speak.
"What Godforsaken hell crossed your mind to make you think it was okay to date this guy? This is not the way to cry for attention Jungkook! After everything we've been through, you still find ways to push our buttons and humiliate us." She accused as the maknae shook his head, in complete discordance of her reasonings.
"I didn't plan to fall in love with him, but I-"
"Let me laugh!" Jeongyeon noona interrupted.
"Who do you love beside yourself?" Once again she was directly playing at his demons, prickling tears threatening to fall, while he bit his lip to prevent himself from showing weakness in front of them.
"You're so fucking selfish Jungkook, you're really just an entitled narcissistic brat!" Junghyun hyungs words cut like a thousand swords and a whimpering sob broke down his throat, as fat tears started to spill against his wishes.
Jungkook's whole body was shaking with overwhelming emotions, ready to explode and there was nothing he could do anymore to keep it in.
"I'm so tired of being your punching bag. I have feelings, despite what you may think of me. If I'm like this, it's all your fault." He spoke amidst his weeping, eyes sustaining his brother's angry ones and his sister's scoffing ones.
"You're pathetic, always trying to make things about you. You, you, you! Grow the fuck up once and for all" Jeongyeon spat with a furious glare and a vein threatening to pop on her neck.
"You are not to see this miscreant anymore!" Their father spoke again before more foul words were thrown between his kids.
"And as for your bodyguards? They're fired! They had one job, and they failed." His mother added, which made Jungkook get up in a flash, letting the chair fall back in an aggressive thud.
"What? NO! No, no, no, please! Hyungs didn't do anything wrong! Blame me, but please, bring them back!" This was worse than a nightmare.
Jungkook expected to be pushed and shoved, scolded and yelled, he expected to be forbidden from seeing Taehyung, expected his family to go after the gangster and threaten him, but he never suspected once that his hyungs would be punished for his stance.
His hyungs, that were everything for him, his friends, his family, his protectors. Without them, Jungkook didn't know if he would be able to keep being strong.
"And you're not to leave the house from now on until we get new bodyguards." Jungkook felt panicking at this rule decreed by his father, and even his mother and siblings gasped.
"Appa please don't do this to me. I-I have classes to go a-and I don't feel well being locked against my will." Jungkook tried to refute, heart rising to his throat, and cold sweat gathering around his body.
"You're not locked in, Jungkook! The house is big and we have a garden." The patriarch argued, but seeing his family's faces, he sighed.
"Fine, you can walk around the Villa but not out of the condominium and never alone! I'll get you some temporary bodyguards from the company until I get new ones for you." This was still a bad outcome, but it was the best within the worst for Jungkook.
"Give us your phone and your laptop," Junghyun ordered.
When Jungkook thought the punishments were already enough, it felt like another one would come next, endlessly.
"You can't do this! I have school assignments and I need to keep putting my digital content up." He tried to argue, but at this point, it was completely useless.
"I'm not gonna repeat myself. Hand over your phone and your laptop!" His brother persisted, but Jungkook stood his ground, being locked home and losing his hyungs was punishment enough!
"You can't do this to me, I'm not a kid!"
"Then stop acting like one!"
"I'll pick his things up and make sure he doesn't have any means to communicate with his little personal gangster," Jeongyeon announced, tired of the pointless fight.
"NO!" Jungkook yelled, running around the table to stop his sister but being grabbed around his waist by his brother.
"Let go of me!" Jungkook yelled, thrashing around to free himself from his brother's hold.
"You did this to yourself, Jungkook. It's for your own safety." His mom argued, but Jungkook was already at his wit's ends.
He cried some more, going sluggish in his brother's arms until Jeongyeon finally got back with his gadgets. He looked at her with a deadly stare and she just smiled. It was pointless.
They won, once again, and Jungkook was so tired of getting up on his feet again, so tired of trying, of fighting back.
"Stop pretending as if anyone here cares for me." He accused, finally freeing himself when his brother loosened his grip.
"I'm so tired of your games. Enough is enough." He spoke spiritless like all energy had been drawn out of him.
When nobody spoke anything back and he wasn't stopped from leaving, Jungkook walked back to his room and fell lifeless on his bed.
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ -ˋˏ✄ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
This was a pretty dark chapter.
Jungkook was having it bad, feeling so unworthy and
desperate he almost forced something neither of them
was prepared to.
Good thing Tae didn't let it continue. He noticed something
was wrong, and that Jungkook was emotionally vulnerable!
And JK's siblings are the worst. I had trouble on their
redemption arc later on because they are awful
but I hope to be able to make it better in the
longer version.
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ -ˋˏ✄ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬