No matter how much I say I love you
I always love you way more than that
"I can't believe you're actually making me go to this," I grumble putting on thigh highs.
"I can't believe you're making me wear this," Chase grumbles back as I finish putting on my heels.
"Why? We look cute matching," I walk into the bathroom looking in the mirror at Chase and I. I manage to force him into a red knit sweater that matches my cropped one. I paired mine with a blue and red plaid skirt while Chase put on slacks and a suit jacket over top. My gold gun necklace tops it all off as I never take it off.
"We loo-"
"Watch your words," I warn.
"You look beautiful," Chase rephrases. He leans down to kiss my temple before grabbing my hand and leading me out. We walk down the stairs seeing three others in semi-formal attire.
"Well you guys look adorable," Hendrix jokes. Chase shoves him while I laugh. I mean we look cute, you have to admit it.
"Come on boys. Reunion night!" I shout walking out the door.
•••
"Remember to look out for Toni," Chase reminds us as we step onto campgrounds.
"This place brings back memories," Shawn huffs out.
"Like when I held a knife to your neck," I joke.
"Or when you almost got us killed at the beach," Shawn points out.
"Sneaking out and spending the night in a sewer," AJ recalls.
"Our first mission to get Carmen," Hendrix adds.
"Come on!" I exclaim, leading us into the cafeteria. The place is already packed with many graduate students from last year. Everyone sits down but I choose to sit across from Chase. Chase gives me a weird look, expecting me to sit next to him.
"You don't say much do you," I question Chase repeating the first ever words I've said to him. At first he looks confused but his expression slowly changes into a sly smile.
"What's to talk about," Chase recites his words from months ago.
"Anything and everything," I get up and walk over to Chase sitting next to him.
"You are my anything and everything," he whispers. I turn away hiding the biggest grin on my face. Chase grabs my chin with his thumb and pointer finger forcing me to look at him.
"That wasn't part of the script," I mumble.
"What was then," Chase asks.
"Toni whining. Them wanting to figure out what I did. Me telling everyone. You going 'that's barely class 0'," I imitate Chase's deep husky voice. "And me going 'alright Mr. Huxley. Tell me what are you in for? Murder, theft, rape'," I recall the conversation that took place at this exact table.
"Do you have an eidetic memory or something?" AJ asks.
"Nope. I just remember special moments," I smile.
"OH MY GOD! IT'S THE SIX OF US AGAIN!" A familiar voice squeals running to our table. Chase moves his hand behind his back to reach for his gun but I place my hand on his shoulder stopping him.
"Toni!" I exclaim. Can't wait to figure out all the bullshit she knows.
"So tell me what's been happening since I left for Europe. I want to know everything!" Toni excites.
"Well um I got a job. AJ does football. Hendrix is still a badass driver. Charm and Chase are getting married," Shawn retorts.
"No freaking way! The C-train is back on again. But what about- ahh it doesn't matter. Let me see the rock!" I hold out for Toni to see the ring Chase got me. I share a look between the boys confused on Toni's jitteriness and excessive energy.
"So Toni. How was Europe, was it?" I ask.
"Amazing! France is beautiful, Germany is beautiful and all 50 countries!" she explains.
"44," I correct. Toni laughs hysterically making us all stare at her as if she is psychopathic.
"Yes that. So you think it'll be fun tonight?" Toni questions.
"Yeah. So Toni are you on any drugs or just like that," AJ asks and I slap his arm. He shrugs as Toni thinks of an answer.
"Well no. Well yes. Kind of," she hums. Chase and I look at each other confused.
"Toni what did you take," Chase asks, putting his hand down on the table. His index taps the table repetitively.
"ALRIGHT ALRIGHT! Thank you everyone for coming," a lady announces. Toni places her finger over her lip and turns to the speaker. The rest of us do the same in silence.
"Many of you don't know me. But I am the new principal. Principal Reynolds. We are going to start off with a tour and you'll get a chance to visit your old cabins and classrooms!" I zone out Principal Reynolds and look at Toni watching her. The way she bounces her leg up and down, twirls the same strand of hair around her finger, bites her nails.
She's different.
"Alright tour time!"
"Why're we getting a tour when we literally lived here," Hendrix groans unhappily. We walk out following a bunch of people as we tour the school one last time.
"Ah yes anger management class!" I twirl around outside at the exact spot we had class. By the rocks.
"Yeah clover," Chase jokes.
"Whatever, follow and pursue," I stick my tongue out at him before sitting on the grass by a tree. "Hey I could've slit your throat here!" I exclaim talking to Shawn
"Yeah I probably shouldn't have made that joke," Shawn says sitting down next to me.
"Yeah. Or I would've pressed even harder," I squint my eyes at Shawn as he throws his head back laughing.
"Remember yoga and meditation class. That was so boring," I laugh as Chase sits next to me.
"How would you know? You slept through 90% of the classes," Chase points out.
"What can I say? I'm a pro sleeper. They should've named it nap time," I sigh looking back at the memory.
•••
"Welcome back to the amazing Charmainley Easton Finley at the time Knight cabin," I announce throwing open my door. I walk into the empty room observing the space. "I wonder who's getting this dumb in September," I think to myself.
"Sleeping beauty's first escape," AJ points out as he looks out the back window.
"Remember when you cried to me right here," Chase whispers. I remember it was when we were on cabin arrests.
"Shut up. Don't ever bring that up," I grumble. One weak moment and it haunts you for life. Chase laughs looking around my room. Eventually we leave and walk to our old classrooms. After that we all piled back into the auditorium.
"I think I took the most naps here," I think out loud.
"You also shoved your fingers down your throat to prove to me you have no gag reflexes," Chase recalls. My eyes widen at the memory.
"Do you have to remember everything," I whisper-shout. Chase ignores me laughing along with the boys.
"Shush. It's starting," I point out as the principal begins talking. They play a slideshow of pictures and videos taken at the camp. Many followed by Chase, Shawn, Toni, AJ, Hendrix and I. I notice a familiar girl in them before thinking.
"Hey what about Samantha?" I whisper to Chase.
"What do you mean?" Chase questions.
"What if she is somehow partaking in this," I clarify.
"Doubt it. She's just a bully. Don't think too much of it," Chase throws his arm over my shoulder and I lean in closer to him. He's right I'm probably overthinking this.
•••
"What was your favourite part of the camp here?" I ask Chase as I swing our intertwined hands between us.
"That's a tough one. Probably meeting the love of my life," Chase lifts my hand and twirls me around.
"You're so cheesy you know that. When did you lose your badass, quiet, Mr. talk-to-no-one side," I banter as we reach the lake. I sit down on the grass as the moon perfectly reflects off the lake.
"Since I fell. Hard," Chase sits right behind me spreading his legs out on the outside of mine. I lean back into his chest while he places his hands over my shoulders. We sit in silence enjoying the peace and quiet ahead of us.
"You know. You're my anything and everything too," I reciprocate. Chase kisses my head in response acknowledging my statement. He lays his head against the back of mine.
"Why do I feel like we reached a peak," I whisper out before I can stop myself.
"What do you mean," he mumbles into my hair.
"Everytime we are at a high it drops. Absolute destruction afterwards. Something bad is going to happen," I explain.
"We'll be okay. Just don't think about it," Chase whispers.
"I can't. It's all I think about. Life always goes downhill for me. Chase I'm going to ruin everything for you," I confess. I've never been one to express my feelings. But I can't just not say anything and let me ruin everything for Chase.
"Luck, tell me what's on your mind," Chase says softly. I take a deep breath about to tell Chase everything that I've been thinking.
"I'm causing you more problems than you need. Think about it Carmen, the whole Santiago/Sanders operation is based on me, your dad and the mafias. I'm just getting in the way of everything," I rant as tears slowly flow down my cheeks.
I feel Chase stand up behind me. I look back seeing him hold a hand out for me. I take it while Chase pulls, helping me stand up. Until we're practically face to face. Chase is taller than me so we're face to face we can get on leveled ground.
"Who do I love?" Chase asks. I furrow my eyebrows confused by what he's asking. "Who do I love," he repeats.
"Me?" I answer, coming out more of a question.
"And who do I care about?" Chase asks.
"Me," I repeat this time more confidently. Chase reaches his hands out to hold my face in his hands. I let him while he wipes the tears falling from my eyes with his thumbs.
"Carmen I couldn't care less. My dad, I couldn't care even less. I couldn't give a fuck about Sanders or Santiago. My mafia, that's a hobby. Leo can have that if it means you're mine. I'd give up the whole fucking world for you," Chase says staring into my eyes.
"This whole world can fall apart and I wouldn't care. As long as I have you in my arms at night, your hand to hold while I walk, your smile to look forward to and your laughter to bless my ears. I couldn't care about anything else in the world, I only care about you Charmainley Easton Knight future Huxley-Accetta. And maybe Bella a little bit," Chase shrugs at his last statement making me laugh.
"Okay?" Chase asks. I nod with my face still in his hands. "Say it," Chase whispers.
"Ti amo," I whisper. Chase kisses me, his hands sliding down from my face to waist. They rest on my hips drawing me closer with his hands. Mine are already around his neck lightly tugging on the back of his hair.
"Ti amo," he whispers back against my lips. I smile once more before kissing him again.
"COME ON LOVEBIRDS!" I hear someone shout. I immediately pull away and look back seeing Toni. We should probably get back to the small party they threw us.
"I'm going to put NyQuil in her drink," Chase whispers as I grab his hand, tugging him back. I laugh while he twirls me around once more.
"I love you. Never forget that," he whispers.