August 10, 2021. – New York City, NY.
Once, when she was little, Lisa fell on her skates in front of her parents’ house. Her left knee received 8 stitches and her right arm was bandaged by a middle-aged doctor who was smiling warmly at the little girl. One of the nurses offered her a lollipop before the procedure and guaranteed that she would receive only a sting of mosquito on her shoulder. Lisa trusted the woman’s kind eyes and safe words, and to her surprise, it didn’t hurt. While bandaging the little girl’s shoulder, the middle-aged doctor said things like: You are a big girl and very brave. One day, when you grow up, you will be the bravest woman in the world.
Lisa believed him too.
And again, to her surprise, he was wrong.
The day dragged on relatively slowly in that apartment that made her more phobic than the feeling of being at home. Something had been bothering Lisa since she woke up in the morning with Logan’s annoying alarm clock announcing the start of a bad day. The lawyer had a trial that day and her nerves were on edge, so she decided to run to the office early and go over the locked case in her office. Lisa made coffee and they both read the newspaper on the kitchen counter until the clock struck nine forty in the morning. Logan said goodbye to his fiance with a cracked kiss and asked her not to wait for him at night, as he had no time for the trial to end. Half an hour later, when the apartment finally seemed lighter, free from the of guilt that surrounded the Thai, the small figure of a boy with disheveled hair and a sleepy face appeared in the room with bare feet. Ethan hurried to the couch and cuddled in his mother’s arms as the two of them watched SpongeBob in their pajamas.
And Lisa loved moments like that with her son. Ethan had become everything in her life since she left the United States for the first time. She knew that she would give her life and move mountains for the boy, the love that grew more and more within her was no longer in her chest. Ethan was everything to her. His sweet, childlike smile, her chocolate eyes with long lashes. Oh, and Lisa loved her son’s curls.
A few hours later, Lisa ran with Ethan to the bathroom and the two took a long hot bath where they played in the bathtub to throw foam on each other and had lunch alone on the living room rug as it was the housekeeper’s break and Logan and Olivia were not at home. Sometimes Lisa just wanted to feel like a child again, and nothing better than to enjoy those moments with her little one.
The morning peace was totally shattered when Olivia arrived home after spending the night at the club running a party. She wasn’t drunk, but her eyes were murderous for the sister-in-law who was watching the Discovery Channel while Ethan took his afternoon nap.
"Where is everyone?“ the woman asked when she analyzed the silence of the apartment.
"Logan is in the office, Lola off and Ethan sleeping.“ Lisa informed without taking the eyes of the TV.
Olivia narrowed her eyes at Lisa and walked over to the couch and sat facing the Thai. Lisa didn’t care about her sister-in-law’s movement, much less when she took off the suede jacket she wore and threw it on the living room rug.
"I’ll ask just once." Olivia’s voice came out more serious than usual and Lisa looked at her in surprise. “Who is Park Chaeyoung?"
Shock ran through the Thai’s blood and hit her sanity. Okay, her sister-in-law was questioning her about Chaeyoung, and from her tone of voice it wasn’t about a possible love interest in the blonde. Controlling her emotions so as not to express any emotions that would give her despair, Lisa turned her eyes to the TV and shrugged.
"Chaeyoung is Ethan’s teacher, my ex best friend and-"
"Don’t be cynical, Manoban. I am asking how important this woman is in your life." Olivia cut her coldly and Lisa froze. “I do not want to jump to conclusions, but the person showing up here in the middle of the night looking for you in tears is not exactly normal for two ex best friends. So I’m going to ask again: Who is Park Chaeyoung?"
And there she was being pushed against the wall with no escape. Lisa knew that moment would come, her sister-in-law was cunning for many things and since Chaeyoung reappeared in her life things have not been exactly subtle. It is obvious that Olivia noticed the despair in her eyes when she finished speaking, she could barely hide her trembling hand while holding the TV remote control.
OK…Tell the truth to her fiance’s sister or not?
Risk losing everything or making up a faint and postpone the conversation?
Lisa sighed, gathering all the courage that didn’t exist inside her and turned off the TV, letting the silence of the apartment fill the tension between them. While she did not want to lose her fiancé and her friend, part of herself insisted that Olivia was her friend before anything and that if anyone deserved to know the whole truth, it was her sister-in-law. But regardless of their friendship, Logan and Olivia were siblings and if Olivia didn’t understand her, something that even she couldn’t manage after accepting Chaeyoung’s crazy proposal, her life could be turned upside down.
“Chaeyoung is…” She searched for an adjective that fit what they were now. Of course, she didn’t, and Olivia’s curious eyes didn’t help her think about anything. “Chaeyoung is my ex girlfriend.“ As usual, Olivia’s reaction was slow to come. She blinked frantically and continued with a neutral expression as if Lisa hadn’t just revealed that Chaeyoung was her ex-girlfriend. “Please don’t freak out now! You need to understand that it is not easy …"
"You made me think that my gaydar was broken all this time?" Olivia cut her off and received a confused look from Lisa. “I always wondered how you could not be a lesbian with all that hunk of badgirl from college, and now you’re telling me that I was right all along?"
Lisa kept her mouth open a few inches without believing what her sister-in-law was giving priority to at that moment.
"Are you listening?“ The Thai questioned still shocked and watched Olivia get up from the couch. Her lost eyes and hands on her hips betrayed the woman’s disbelief in something as futile as Lisa’s sexuality. “I’m saying that Park Chaeyoung is my ex girlfriend who came back to my life and you are worried about my sexuality, Olivia?"
The Latina looked at the Thai and seemed to return to the reality that she was being inconvenient.
“Okay, you’re right, sorry." She shook her head and returned to sit next to Lisa. Now the thick eyebrows were drawn together as something came to mind. “Did you betray my brother?"
“No!" Lisa screamed and covered her mouth with regret shortly thereafter, her act could wake up Ethan. “Of course I didn’t cheat on Logan, are you crazy?“ inside the Thai hated herself for lying. Yes, she cheated on Logan and it was the best mistake she could have made in her life. But, like their love, that moment would remain a secret locked under lock and key. “It’s just been complicated to have her in my life now, after all this time."
Olivia shook her head, understanding her sister-in-law’s words, and leaned back against the sofa to settle.
“You can start, darling.“ She demanded referring to the whole story.
Well, it’s like they say, if it’s in the rain, it’s to get wet.
Lisa took a deep breath and prepared to go back to the past, when love was pure and life was easier even though they didn’t see it. When each day with Chaeyoung was valuable and still with a deadline finish.
“I met Chaeyoung on the internship in Juilliard." She started to recall, but her eyes fell to the upholstery of the sofa. “I think I fell in love the moment I saw her, I don’t know. I don’t remember exactly how it was, I just remember opening my eyes and seeing myself hopelessly in love with her. Chaeyoung used to be different than she is today. She used to be shy and dreamy, ties were Chaeyoung’s mark and that’s how I identified her, what marked us, you know? Her red bow.“ She smiled automatically and stopped herself shortly thereafter. Olivia barely blinked as she followed the story. “Jennie introduced us, and shortly afterwards we were like best friends. Chaeyoung has always been my best friend.“ She sighed. “We started dating and every day beside her was perfect. Do you know the people who say that happily ever after does not exist?“ Olivia nodded. “Nonsense, it exists for as long as it lasts. We listened to Johnny Cash, danced to Billie Holiday, made love in an abandoned house, and broke into a prom. Chaeyoung used to be my first and last thought of the day and yet she invaded my deepest dreams." Olivia arched an eyebrow at her sister-in-law’s words. Lisa was lost in her thoughts and back in the past. “When Chaeyoung’s father became ill, I saw my star slowly fade. That Chaeyoung who dreamed of a future on stage was no more exist and I couldn’t let that happen. When my father found out, he threatened me. He said he would pay for Chaeyoung’s father’s treatments if I left her."
"And you did.“ the Latina completed when she understood the course of history.
Lisa nodded, her eyes already filled with tears that were not worth looking away. Olivia had discovered her weakness and now all the cards were on the table.
“I did it “ She continued in a choked voice. The feeling of guilt and loss taking everything in her, the pain of returning to the day she lied to the person she loved most in her life. “I told her that we could not be together, because my fear of society was greater than the feeling for her. I made her think that I was giving up on us when in fact I was tearing her up for her happiness.“ Lisa paused to breathe. She had never told that story to anyone and found that it was not an easy task to relive her days of glory and disgrace. “I moved to France and that’s when we met. I told you that the reason for my sadness was the constant fights with my father and I lied. I didn’t talk to him anymore, not after what he made me do. Every time you caught me crying, every night of constant nightmares, it was all for her, Liv. It was all for Chaeyoung. So listening to Johnny Cash and Billie Holiday no longer made sense, the bandstands were no longer magic and music became my private torture. Do you remember my decision to have Ethan?"
“How could I forget? It almost got me.“ She rolled her eyes, seemed more relaxed now after the confession and that was something that Lisa could not understand. “Are you going to tell me that the child is hers?“ her eyes widened as if she had a punch.
“No, of course not. When we were dating, Chaeyoung used to daydream about our marriage and a son. That son would be called Ethan."
“Girl … This is better than a Mexican soap opera.“ Said Olivia with her mouth open expressing surprise. “And you decided to have it …?"
“To keep a part of her with me.“ she said, even though she would be seen as a crazy romantic, just as she was seen by everyone else who knew the truth. I decided that having Ethan would be a way to have Chaeyoung with me, it would be like our son. And it worked, for a long time it worked…"
And the silence that fell was significant. They knew they had gotten to the part where they would talk about Logan and Olivia let Lisa take her time.
“And where does Logan enter into this story?" She asked almost timidly and Lisa found this act cute on the part of the Latina.
“My son was growing up and I felt that he needed a second figure in his life. Don’t hate me for that, please. You kept pushing me to your brother and he was always so generous and kind not only to me, but to Ethan. I saw an opportunity in it. I really meant it when I accepted the engagement, I wanted to try to have a real life and learn to love it over time."
And as they always did in college, Olivia completed her thinking.
“But you didn’t learn."
Lisa shook her head feeling ashamed of herself for cheating someone like Logan.
“Um, okay.“ the Latina bent over and propped her elbows on her knees, she was silent for a long time filtering what she would to Lisa next. “You know that Logan is my brother and as much as he is a dick, my duty is to protect him, right?” Lisa nodded. “And just as I have you as my best friend, my duty is also to protect you. You know, once, just before we moved here, Logan told me that he always knew you didn’t love him. He said he wouldn’t be in the way if you met someone and fell in love, he said he loved you enough to let you go."
“I will not…"
“You will.“ Olivia didn’t let Lisa finish. “You may not be sure of that now, perhaps because you are confused and afraid, but you will leave him at the end of it and in the end you know it.“ She held the Thai’s hands, who now wept silently. “I saw the way Chaeyoung looks at you and I may not understand much about love, but what I saw at dinner, the way she came here looking for you as if her life depended on it, that my dear sister-in-law, it’s love. And you’re going to be very stupid if you don’t allow this love to happen because of Logan, it would be wrong for you and him."
The Thai’s heart sped up just hearing the Latina’s words. She was right, wasn’t she? So why did she still feel totally insecure about throwing her head into a relationship with Chaeyoung? Ah, yes, maybe because they didn’t know each other anymore. 6 years can be a long time on some occasions. People like Olivia would never understand that Lisa was raised on the basis of fear. If she was late for dinner, she would be beaten by a strap. If she made a mess, she would be beaten when she at home. If she passed the time on the street, she would get beaten …
Lisa learned to play on the safe side. And Logan was safe for her and Ethan.
“Don’t you hate me?“ the Thai asked, she hoped she would be expelled from her own apartment when the Latina discovered the truth and all she was receiving was loving advice.
Olivia made a derisive nasal sound and patted Lisa’s shoulder.
“I am happy to know that I have always been right.“ She blinked and received a smile in return. “So, what is your real situation?"
There is a good question. What is her real situation? Two days ago Chaeyoung came to her at a costume event saying she knew the whole truth and asked for a chance. A chance to rediscover that feeling together. They didn’t speak to each other after that day. Chaeyoung didn’t look for her anymore. And while it was a relief, something in herself yearned for her every second of her heartbeat.
“Do you know the night of the prom?" She asked and Olivia grimaced as if it was obvious that she knew. “She came to me and asked for a chance to remind me why I fell in love with her. She said that we wouldn’t need to touch each other so that I wouldn’t cheat on Logan, but that she only needed until the wedding day to make me change my mind.
“And you accepted?"
“I accepted. It was an unthinkable act, I don’t think I can react when she is around."
“Nah, at least now you can meet again without making my brother have horns.“ She shrugged. “He knows you don’t love him, Lisa, don’t be afraid to take chances. Just make him aware of it as soon as possible, okay? He also deserves to move on."
And she was right.
***
“I will end your life! Get ready, after today I will not be held responsible for my actions, Jeon, I will draw blood!" Olivia shouted in a kind of roar.
“I’m used to your litany, but who’s drawing blood from you is me, loser!“ Somi threatened on the other side with a manic look.
Bored, and scared, Lisa decided to intervene before her house was demolished and her son was traumatized.
“Very well, enough of playing Street Fighter for today.“ She announced turning off the TV and throwing the remote to Jennie, who hid it under the pillow.
Olivia made a move to throw the XBOX controller at Lisa, but was stopped by Jisoo with a disapproving look. Somi just leaned against the chair, dropping her control on the floor and a disgruntled frown.
“You are fanatics.“ Jennie commented running a hand through Jisoo’s hair and placing a kiss on her temple.
“I play to win, it’s different.“ The offended Latina defended herself, her eyes fell on Ethan, who was sitting on the sofa on Lisa’s lap with the bottle in his mouth. “Do you also want to play with Aunt Liv?"
The boy took the nipple out of his mouth when his eyes grew and ran over to Lisa.
“Mommy?“ He asked slyly, even at the age of 4 the boy knew how to soften his mother’s heart.
“Guys, this boy is Lisa’s copy as a child, he won all of us with this puss in boots look." Jennie laughed, laughing out loud at Somi as she remembered her childhood.
Lisa felt like strangling Olivia for offering Ethan such a violent game, but thanks to the good Lord the conversation was interrupted by a ringtone. Somi took the device out of her pocket and rolled her eyes when she saw the name on the display.
“Hello? Park!“ that famous smile grew again. Lisa flinched and felt her stomach skip. “Why do you have the habit of thinking that I know each other’s presence? Yes, it is obvious that she is, Lisa lives here.“ Anguished silence filled the room as Somi made faces alternating between smiles. “Of course you do! See you soon, I don’t love you. "
She turned off her cell phone and went back to playing with her hair while three pairs of eyes simply stared at her waiting for some news. Well, this news did not come soon, because the youngest girl pretended to be distracted while ignoring others.
“So?“ Jisoo asked holding Somi’s hand so that she stopped what she was doing and looked her in the eye.
“So what?"
Jisoo rolled her eyes and Lisa made an impatient groan.
“What did Chaeyoung want?"
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!" She shouted dramatically, snapping her fingers and turning to Lisa. “She’s coming to get you and Ethan."
Somi smiled contentedly as Lisa’s jaw dropped. Jennie left Jisoo and ran to hold the Thai’s hand in solidarity, accompanied by Olivia who looked deeply into her eyes and said seriously:
“You will not run away."
No,she didn’t want to run. Chaeyoung didn’t deserve this and deep down, Lisa knew she wanted to be in the woman’s presence, that’s when she felt herself, free, happy. So no, she didn’t deny it, just nodded and let herself be hugged aside by Jisoo. When she broke away from the embrace, she saw Ethan watching the confused scene still in her lap, the innocent expression that had no idea what was going on around him. Feeling her heart racing, Lisa hugged her son and left a long kiss on the top of the boy’s head.
“Do you want to go for a walk with me and Aunt Chaeyoung, son?"
Ethan opened one of the biggest smiles only he had and hugged his mother’s neck.
“Go Go go!" He shouted excitedly, drawing smiles from the other women present. “When she comes? Where are we going, mom? Oh, can we go get ice cream? I want strawberry ice cream!"
Lisa laughed heartily at the scene of her son pulling her by the hand to get up.
“She should be coming by now, so you better hurry up and put on some nice clothes."
“Can I wear my dinosaur hat?" He asked excitedly. Lisa laughed and nod her head.
“You always use it, Ethan."
Jennie cut off the Thai’s front and picked up Ethan on her lap and he screamed in surprise.
“How about Aunt Jennie changing the big boy here while Mom Lisa changes in?“ She winked at the Thai and received an excited exclamation from Ethan when she put him back on the floor. “Whoever finishes last is a baby!"
And she ran down the hall like crazy with Ethan in run aground screaming that it wasn’t fair for her to be bigger.
“Very well, now I can go back to my beautiful and wonderful game and discount all the frustration that I feel experiencing this dramatic story where I am the hot side that needs to join the main gay couple.“ Olivia took the control of the TV by force of Jisoo and turned on the game again.
Lisa took a deep breath and stood up, Chaeyoung would arrive at any moment and she didn’t know if she was dressed. She ran with Jisoo and Somi into the bedroom and looked at herself in the mirror. Definitely, baggy pants and sweatpants were not the best outfit for the occasion.
“Unless you are active in the relationship, I think we will have to change that.“ comment came from Jisoo who analyzed it from top to bottom.
“There is no relationship, Chu, we are just hanging out as friends, she knows that." Lisa corrected indignantly taking off her sweatshirt and pants. “And you are taking the custom of that crazy Latina."
“I HEARD THAT!" Yelled Olivia hysterically from the room.
“Whatever, I need my dress shirt.“ She asked pointing to the wardrobe, Jisoo ran to the furniture looking for something suitable for the situation.
“Hm, can I give a sincere opinion here?“ Somi interrupted the moment with the index finger raised and attracting the attention of the other two. “You live on social now, Lisa. If you’re dating Chaeyoung, even if you’re a friend, you could at least relive the real Lisa in there, right?“ The youngest pointed to the Thai’s chest and walked to the wardrobe taking off a pair of dark and a white cacharrel. “That should do. Jisoo, borrow a pair of boots and a leather jacket from Olivia."
Somi took the time to comb Lisa’s hair until it got a little more messy as it used to be. Jisoo soon returned holding a pair of black boots and a leather jacket. The intercom rang and they all froze. Lisa’s heart announced that she would soon jump out of her chest if something was not done, a feeling so new and so delicious at the same time. Somi clapped her hands and Jisoo led her to the door, ignoring Olivia’s whistle that had just cleared the blonde’s entrance.
“This is your night, don’t spoil it.“ Jisoo advised holding Lisa’s face so she could look her in the eyes. The Thai agreed and sighed, turning to the elevator, it was now or never.
A few more seconds and the elevator door opened. On the other side, a Chaeyoung with a half smile was waiting for her anxiously, Lisa was forced to smile at the childlike vision of that little figure. She was as wonderful as ever and almost forgot to get off the elevator before the doors closed again.
“Aunt Chaeyoung!“ a childish voice cut the moment and Ethan ran past them until he was in Chaeyoung’s arms. He wore light jeans, black all star, a green T-shirt with Hulk black and a denim jacket over it. Of course, his head was inseparable from his hat. Lisa watched Chaeyoung embrace Ethan with such affection that all she wanted to do at that moment was to record that scene forever. "Mom said that you are going out with us."
Chaeyoung held Ethan in one arm and pulled a small package out of her bag.
“That will be a surprise, my little one. What do you think about winning a gift before that? I missed you."
“You saw me today, aunt!“ he laughed and analyzed the gift in the blonde’s hands. “What is it?"
At this point, Lisa, Jennie, Jisoo, Somi and Olivia watched the interaction closely, Chaeyoung and Ethan hardly seemed to care about their presence at the time. The blonde left the boy on the floor and knelt in front of him with a serious expression.
“It’s a gift for you to always remember me, okay?“ She handed the package to Ethan and watched him dispose of the paper.
“Oh!" He exclaimed, opening his mouth and eyes. “Is it a piano?"
Chaeyoung laughed and took both of the little hands of the boy holding the piano.
“It’s a music box.“ she explained patiently. “I won it once from a very special person."
Ethan smiled happily when he heard about a special person. Lisa always said that special people are important in your life forever.
“Is it your mommy?“ He asked innocently as he opened the box. Lisa averted her eyes, holding on to keep from crying. She knew that damn music box, she had given it to Chaeyoung in her first performance in Central Park.
“No. It’s not my mother’s, little one.“ Chaeyoung kissed Ethan’s forehead and tried to look at Lisa, felt her heart drop when she saw the expression of of the Thai. “It’s from a person who had my heart. And now I’m passing it on to you."
Ethan looked confused at the blonde, it is obvious that he did not take things literally.
“Are you going to take my heart?" He asked curiously.
Chaeyoung shook her head, amused by the situation and stood up, picking him up again.
“You took mine, little one.“ She tickled his belly so the boy would forget about it. When she looked at Lisa again, she saw that the Thai was looking at her as if she didn’t believe what she was seeing. “Are you ready?"
It took Lisa to regain her senses, the Thai knew she needed to react, but her head felt like a blender turned on at that moment, absorbing every inch of emotion. Lisa pushed the elevator button and asked Somi to accompany them to the lobby. The drive was made quietly to the car with Ethan holding Chaeyoung’s hand and chattering about what he had learned in today’s class. As if there was no other way to be surprised, in the back seat was a car seat for Ethan’s age. Chaeyoung saw Lisa’s shocked expression and just shrugged with a shy smile.
“All right, guys, next stop: Coney Island!" She exclaimed excitedly, looking in the rearview mirror at Ethan, who clapped his hands in celebration. Lisa shook her head and Chaeyoung looked at her for fear of another discussion. “What there was…? Don’t you like this place? If you want we can go to another one and …"
“No, Chae! Of course not.“ She laughed taking her hand to her face. “It’s just … I always want to go there. I just didn’t have time."
Her voice died at the same time that she realized she was talking nonsense."
“I know.“ Chaeyoung guaranteed. “Today we go together."
She didn’t want to cry, and she wouldn’t go. She was being strong in those last days, and she would do it to the end. Ethan watched in sight while the locomoving car sat in the back seat, which caused some discomfort between the two women.
“I thought you wouldn’t accept coming.“ Chaeyoung broke the mood by asking Lisa directly.
“I think I need to explain myself about what happened …"
“Not today.“ Chaeyoung held her hand in an automatic gesture and then turned it back to the steering wheel. “We don’t need to discuss this today, let’s just enjoy the night with our son, okay?"
Lisa felt her whole body react when she heard Chaeyoung say our son. So that was how she thought of him, too?
“Do you see him like that?" She asked almost without a voice because of the emotion that was still going on in her.
Chaeyoung held tight to the steering wheel and cast a calm look at a thoughtful Ethan in the back seat.
“You did it thinking about us, Lisa. He is mine as well as yours, if you consider him so, then I want him mine too. At the moment you two are all that matter to me."
The Thai’s heart accelerated intensely and she felt her whole body shiver. Chaeyoung would always have this overpowering and frightening effect on her.
It didn’t take long before they reached the park entrance, immediately Chaeyoung and Ethan seemed to be the same age and Lisa needed to establish rules not to get away from each other due to the crowd inside the park. Chaeyoung parked the car and soon was holding hands with Ethan, Lisa was walking beside them not quite sure where to look. It was all so wonderful, exactly as it was described by her friends at school, there were magicians and jugglers, ahead, near the fence that gave access to the beach, tents scattered everywhere.
“Okay, this is perfect!“ Lisa said pointing to a man spitting fire. She and Ethan laughed, Chaeyoung was startled.
“He scares me.“ he suppressed himself. Then he found a statue man and walked pulling Ethan to see him more closely. “Look at that, little one.“ Ethan made sounds of surprise and Chaeyoung started to imitate the man just to see the boy laugh.
Lisa watched Chaeyoung and Ethan’s interaction and thanked God everything was going well, she knew right away her eyes were shining from seeing that scene, she suddenly wished she could live it every day.
“I think I know what Aunt Chaeyoung needs.“ Lisa said to her son and positioned herself behind Chaeyoung pushing her with her arms forward with the boy’s help.
Of course, Chaeyoung was delighted when they reached an area a little further from the crowd, where there was a small bandstand with three men standing and playing something for a family. The three watched the youngest ask the mother for something and then put a dollar bill in the box next to it. In front of the bandstand, there was a kind of wooden dance floor. Chaeyoung smiled spontaneously and crossed her arms in admiration, she loved to hear them sing, and Lisa knew it. The Thai just stood there watching all the movement with Ethan now sitting on her shoulders.
“I need to walk in it.“ Chaeyoung pointed to a ferris wheel near the little house of the musicians, it was wonderful and bright. The children seemed to enjoy themselves with their parents, and even couples were cuddling in the moonlight.
“I want cotton candy, Mom.“ Ethan said, making the two women look innocent and pointing to a boy who ate cotton candy.
Lisa laughed opening her arms and showing all the tents they had, they were in a wide variety, from sweets and toys, to snacks and games.
“I want a cotton candy, please.“ She asked the blonde to a man dressed as a clown who sold sweets, then turned to the Thai: “Do you want one?"
The Thai shook her head and Ethan happily accepted his cotton candy. Then the three rode the children’s roller coaster, played various types of games in the tents, Ethan rode a little train and ate a love apple. For the first time since they met, there was no tension, hurt or pain between Chaeyoung and Lisa. They were just themselves, enjoying every second of the night in each other’s company. At one point Chaeyoung asked Lisa to accompany her with Ethan to the musicians they had met when they arrived, she whispered something to the men and left a good amount of money in the box. When she turned around looking for the Thai, she found her right in the middle of the small wooden dance floor, Ethan in her arms, they pretended to dance and the boy was having fun with it. When Frank Sinatra’s New York song started to sound, Lisa looked around the bandstand until she found Chaeyoung’s, they stared at each other for the time that seemed endless, but that only lasted a few seconds, and smiled.
(Play in song Theme From New York, New York – Frank Sinatra)
Chaeyoung walked to the dance floor and bowed to Lisa and Ethan eliciting laughter from both of them.
“Do my two loves accept dancing with me?" She asked theatrically and won a huge smile from Lisa.
“Come dance with us, Aunt Chaeyoung!“ Ethan called extending his hand to the blonde who accepted. So Chaeyoung put her right arm around Lisa’s waist and brought her closer and with her other arm she hugged Ethan, leaving the boy between the two. The Thai was delighted with Chaeyoung, her heart could stop at any moment for being so fast during that night. “Look, the three of us are dancing!"
The two women smiled and each kissed the side of Ethan’s face. Then Chaeyoung looked back at Lisa as if it were the most beautiful vision she will ever have.
“You’re making me uncomfortable." Lisa broke the silence.
Chaeyoung moved closer if possible and leaned her head against that of a sleepy Ethan.
“Do you know what was the best part of this night?“ She asked closing her eyes and taking Lisa’s body close to her for an eternal passionate dance with the fruit of that love.
“What?“ her voice came out weak.
"I could fall in love with you again.“ she replied almost with a grimace, she was hurt, she was being tortured for being so close to her lover’s lips and not being able to touch them out of respect for Ethan and Logan.
Lisa closed her eyes, feeling hurt by the words. Is it possible to feel your chest tear at the same time that happiness fills you? Without giving space for an answer, Chaeyoung separated from the dance bringing Ethan who had fallen asleep on her shoulder. It was already late and they decided it was time to go home, so Lisa offered to drive since they were sorry to wake up Ethan. Part of the way was also silent, Lisa drove while the blonde was in the back seat with the boy asleep in her arms, she rocked him and enjoyed every expression line of Ethan’s perfect face. Of her son. At one point the car went over a bump and Ethan woke up scared, wondering at the dark environment of the car.
“Shh! It will be all right, my love. Mom is here, okay?" Chaeyoung whispered pulling some hairs off the boy’s sweaty forehead. “Close your eyes, have no fear, the monster’s gone. He’s on the run and your mother are here, beautiful boy." She hummed so that only Ethan could hear. Lisa watched everything in the rearview mirror and let the darkness of the night hide her silent tears. “Before you cross the street, take my hand. Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans …"
Lisa parked the car across the street and took Ethan in her arms thanking by night.
“Thanks for today, I had an amazing night, Chaeyoung.“ She said sincerely, her heart squeezed by the farewell. Chaeyoung had her hands tucked in her pants pockets, her self-conscious way was back and nothing could enchant the Thai any more.
“I need to thank you for letting me try, Lili.“ She smiled shyly and kissed Ethan’s neck. “See you, my little one." She whispered in his ear and let her eyes connect once more with Lisa’s just to get lost in them. “Good night, Lisa.“ and before the Thai could answer, she kissed her long on the cheek. Something simple, but it caused a hurricane to hit both women.
“Good night, Chae.“ Lisa whispered back and watched the love of her life walk a few steps backwards and get into the car, until finally disappearing into the dark street.
Lisa entered the apartment quietly, it was after midnight and everyone was asleep. Tired, both physically and emotionally, she decided to leave the shower for tomorrow, and left Ethan in her room wishing him a good night and dreams of cars and superheroes. The hardest part was getting into the room she shared with Logan, he slept in his pajamas and clinging to the comforter. As much as she did nothing, Lisa felt as if she had betrayed him and that was why she was a dirty character. She was emotionally lost, she was out of line and on a road with no return. she couldn’t leave him at the same time that she couldn’t keep Chaeyoung away.
She preferred to fall on skates and bandage her shoulder.
***
Lisa finally stared at herself in the mirror after so many days of loathing her image. That was the old self she knew, straight hair down the middle of her back, dress and seriousness. The perfect daughter of a Manoban.
But that morning there was something new awake within the Thai, something that drove her to want to change, to be a new her, not to follow any more rules, something that drove her to Chaeyoung.
Her eyes went to a photo nailed to the top corner of the mirror, and in that photo there was a happy Lisa sitting on the hood of her old Dodge. Chaeyoung is the one who took the photo and behind it was a small inscription with the letter of the Blonde:
“Forever there is little time with you. Your Chaeyoung.”
Lisa was ready to get to know herself again and learn to love herself. Her hands trembled when she directed the scissors to her long hair, it was time to make some repairs, as she missed her old look.