The shocked look from Jeeva was enough for Kathir to cringe. He looked at Jeeva's pale face and he had no idea how to apologize to him for his deeds. Whatever he says, however he says, he would still look like a hypocrite. He did not intend to let his brother know. However, every time he looked at his brother sulking in remorse, guilt enveloped him. He did not want to be selfish and somehow he had the urge to come clean with his brother today. Kathir was not sure if his brother would be angry on him or hate him at that moment, and he could not even blame him if he did.
Jeeva stood there transfixed for few minutes and finally managed to ask
"Ellaey enna da Olara? Nee, Mullai?", Jeeva asked in a shrill voice still hoping he heard it wrong
"Anne. Irune, Naan mulusa solla vandhadha solidarean."
Jeeva just nodded in response and then after a brief moment Kathir closed and opened his eyes to compose his emotions before he spoke again.
Jeeva always blamed himself for Mullai leaving the house. Jeeva did not treat her right. No matter how much he loves his brother, he cannot deny the fact he has betrayed Mullai's trust and pushed her into a loveless marriage. However that does not justify falling in love with his brothers wife.
"Kalayanathuku aparam nee sadhanama ilanu enaku purinjudhu. Konja nalula nee seri ayiduvenu naan perusa kandukala. Poga poga Mullai'um sogama than irukanu therijudhu. Unga rendu perukulayum prachanaiya oru nalaum ava veetla yaru kitayum sonadhu illa. Vetukaga panradhu parthu, ava gunam puriya aramichudu. Kalayanathuku munadi ava mela irundha verupu, avanga appa amma mela kovam matum than purinjudhu. Poga poga adhu natpa marichu. Epo kadhala maruchunu enaku theriyalane"
He looked at Jeeva to gauge his reaction. Jeeva was still intently listening and looking confused.
"Unna pakavey kurta unarchiya irukum ne. Nenga yepadiyavadhu sendhu sandhosama irundhuta, elam seri ayidumnu thonum. Sila samayam suyanalama, ava en kuda irundha, en vazhkai sandhosama irukanumnu thonum."
Kathir bend his head down not able to face Jeeva anymore. It was not as simple as confessing about his love to his brother. It is about him telling about his love for his wife. Though they never lived as one, it did not make it any less difficult for Kathir.
"Elley. Unaku pathiyam edhavadhu pudichu iruka? Ava un anni da. Yepadi da ipadi yosichu vecha? Andha pulla pathi orla enna pesuvanganu yosichiya?", Jeeva asked loudly still appalled by Kathir's revelation.
"Anne! Nee nenaikara mathiri elam edhuvum illa. Enaku than Mullai'a pudichu irukunu sonean. Avaluku apadi oru abirayamey illane", Kathir quickly added before Jeeva doubted Mullai's conduct.
Jeeva can understand the guilt Kathir went through, that did not make him any less angry over the situation. If he treated Mullai as his wife and given her respect, this would have never happened. That does not deny the fact Mullai was still his first wife and will be one in name of society. Jeeva was not sure how to react. Should be relieved Mullai did not reciprocate Kathir's feeling as he knew this relation would never work out. Or, should he be worried, that his brother was left heartbroken?
"Elley. Ipadi panni vechu irukiyey da. Naan than oru thapu panitu nikarean, neum en da? Unaku edvadhu puriyudha?", Jeeva was anxious for this brother and his future and was not sure how to even explain what he felt.
" Anney, Enna analum Mullaiya thapa yeduthukadha. Nee Mullai veeta vitu ponathuku nee matum than karanamnu kurta unarchiya irukaradha patha, enaku inum uruthuchu. Adhan solitean."
Jeeva found Kathir looking at him helplessly. He has never seen Kathir wish anything for himself. He has always thought about others happiness and welfare of the family. Seeing him bow his head in disgrace and shame stung his heart.
"Elley da pesara? Thapa yepadi da nenaipean? Unga rendu per pathi enaku theriyum da. Aana, nee panadhu seri nu epovum enala solla mudiyadhu da"
Kathir just looked at Jeeva keenly, uncertain on where this conversation would lead to.
Jeeva felt uneasy and conscience-stricken. "Adhey samaiyam, thapunu solra thagudhi enaku illa. Naan seriya irundhu irundha, idhu nadandhu irukadhunu enaku theriyum"
"Anne. Mullai'ku nadandhadhu thapu than. Aana, nee inoru ponna virumbarenu therinju Mullai'a unaku kalyanam panni vechu iruka kudadhu. Unaku avugala apovey naan kalyanam panni vechu irukanum. Thapu en melayum than iruku."
Jeeva was tearing up in anger. "Ipo kuda un mela pazhi potuka pakariyey da nee? Naan olunga irundhu irundha, andha pullayum sandhosama irundhu irukum, neum ipadi vandhu ninnu iruka matta"
He paused to compose his anger. "Avalavu kovam varudhu da. Aana, yaru mela kova padaradhunu than puriyala. En melayey than naan patukanum", signed Jeeva defected.
Kathir side hugged his brother. He needed the hug too just not Jeeva. Somehow knowing his brother did not mistake him nor Mullai made him calm down a little.
"Anne,Nee palasa marandhu, kurta unarchi ilama avughala kalyanam panni sandhosama irukanum. Adhan elarum aasai padarom"
They both sat in silence crying for a while, staring at the night sky. After a while, they finally composed.
"Andha pullai kuda sendhu vazhanumnu inamum nenaikariya da?" Jeeva asked. Jeeva noticed something flicked inside Kathir's deep eyes, something like pain, hurt and loneliness as if he had been in pain for too long.
"Adha nenapu enaku matum irundhu enna aga pogudhune. Adha vidu ipo. Nee un vazhkaiya paaru " Kathir replied slowly and masked the feeling that were becoming too obvious on his face. Saying this, he got up and exited inside leaving Jeeva dumbfounded.
Next day morning – Mullai house
"Alaga iruka Mulla", Mullai whispered under her breath as she applied her last coat of kajal over her eyes. She assessed herself in full-length mirror and plastered a smile on her face. The royal blue color suited her complexion. It feels like ages she has spent time to dress up to look presentable or felt good about her looks. She was looking for validation from Jeeva during their initial days of wedding and later even doubted if she was attractive. Now after all these months, she dressed up for herself and felt good about it. She looked at the mirror one more time. She knew she looked good and she did not need any validation from anyone for that.
Slipping her feet into sandals, she picked up her handbag and made her way out when her mother stopped her.
"Saptitu po Mulla"
A frown appeared on her forehead "Late achu ma. Kalaila tea kudichadhey podhum. Bus varathu kula poganum"
"Apo sikiram kelambanum. Enama ipo than college pora mathri porumaiya seeri singarichutu irundha ithana nerama", her mother asked observing the preparations of her daughter.
Mullai knew if she stood any minute longer, her mother would start taunting Pandian family. Parvathy still feels Mullai is suffering because of them and her going to work is an escape mechanism. No matter how much Mullai convinced her mother, that this job gave her a sense of freedom and independence, her mother thinks otherwise.
"Aramikadha ma. Naan varean". Now she was stopped by her father.
"Amadi, saptutu po ma.
Pulaiya epo paaru edhuku edavadhu solra Parvathy. Kalaiyil ava thana ezhundhu samacha. Adhan late agi irukum"
Though Murugan was upset over her life, he still supported her in this decision though not whole-heartedly.
"Amadi nee ulla poi saptu po ma. 5 nimishathula onum ayidadhu"
Having no choice, Mullai silently trudged towards the dining and ate 2 dosa as quickly as possible and almost ran towards the bus stop. To her bad luck, the bus passed her as she approached the bus stop. The next bus was not scheduled until an hour and she was sure her manager would not be happy about it. It has only been a week in the new work, but there was lot of expectation set on her already. She started grumping over her bad luck and walked back and forth across the bus stop to pass time.
Meanwhile, Kathir woke up thinking about Mullai. It was Monday and was tempted to go to bus stop before her, so he could pick her up. However, Kathir was still pondering over his conversation with Jeeva. He still hoped Mullai realizes his love one day and reciprocates it. At the same time did not want her name to get tainted because of their relationship. He did not want to make it a practice to drop her every Monday, though he was tempted to. He started little late hoping she would have left by now. To his bad luck, he saw her pacing restlessly in the bus stop. He stopped the vehicle before her and saw her looking nervous. She looked radiantly beautiful in the blue saree and he stood their admiring her for a minute when Mullai finally saw and acknowledged him with a smile.
"Inum velaiku polaya nee?", he asked
"Bus miss panitean", she pouted.
"Seri va. Vitutu porean"
She hopped on happily and thanked her luck that she could still make it to work on time.
"Eii pesama oru vandi vangiko. Unaku dhinamum poitu vara vasathiya irukum illa?" Kathir offered an idea and Mullai shifted uncomfortably in her seat.
"Aah. Aparama pakalam Kathiru". She somehow succeeded in diverting the topic until they reached her workplace.
"Seri vandi vanga sonadhum en oru mathiri aana? "
"Apdi elam onum ilayey", she answered and Kathir nodded looking at her intently.
"Panam ilanu yosikariya? Loan la kuda vandi vangalam. Maasam maasam sambalam vandhadum, thavanai muraiyil katitu"
Mullai started fidgeting with corners of her saree. Kathir kept looking at her as if analyzing her. Though, he didn't look past her eyes, that did not make her any less restless. His stare startled her.
"Vandi ota theriyum thana?" he put forward his doubt when she stood there looking fidgety.
She pretended to scoff with ignorance. "Lorry kuda otuvean. Chumma poviya ", she challenged him, already feeling inferior by the way he managed to read her like an open book.
To her surprise, he plastered a charming smile, brushing his fingers against her hair before tucking a strand of hair behind her ears and adjusting it. And that movement heated up her cheek. His touch was like electricity on her skin and she froze like a statue.
"Adhu sheri, apo vandi ota theriyadhu. Apadi thana?", he laughs.
Her face flushes even more in embarrassment.
"Yaru sonna? Supera otuvean. Oru naal unna vechu doubles oti katarean, apo nambuva", she tried to sound confident but failed miserably.
Kathir chuckled at her, "Maribadiyum poi. Edhuku idhu elam?"
Mullai could not lie any longer and pleaded with her eyes "Inga paaru. Idha yaru kitayum solidadhu seriya?
"Idha modhalayey solli irukalam illa?", he asked frowning with one of his eyebrow lifted.
"Adhu, Chumma oru gethuku...", she dragged as if that would make sense to him.
Kathir could not help but fall for her cuteness again. He tried hard not to react or show it in his face.
"Daily ipadi bus la vandhutu poga kasta padaranu sonean. Pesama Karaikudi'la venna thangikoye?"
Mullai stared at him in disbelief "Pillarpati Parvathy pathi theriyama pesara. Naan velaiku porathuke kathitu iruku. Vera oruku poi thangaradha? Adhu sheri, unnaiyey Dhanam akka thanga vidala. Enna solaa vandhuta"
Kathir looked at her confused on why she said that and realization dawned that she assumed he travelled to Karaikudi daily.
"Indha, naan enga dhinanum..", when a call interrupted them
"Oru nimisham, Mama kupidarar", Kathir excused himself
"Seri nee pesu. Enaku neram achu. Naan kelambarean. Kanna kita idha solidadha seriya?"
"Modhala avan kita solrean paru", he smiled broadly.
"Please please solidadha. Avan enna ooti thaliduvan", she pleaded more holding on the handle bar of the bike.
Kathir was smiling inwardly. Though he wanted to pull her leg some more time, he had a phone to attend. "Seri pakalam. Pathu poitu va!" is all he said before answering the call.
"Romba than thimiru", she said under her breath and stepped into her workplace.