R E S T L E S S
Iris lay in her bed, the warm blankets consumed her and held out against the cold air of the fan that spun around the room. The light crackle of the candle next to her and distant sounds of workers walking home.
She had turned in early for night, hoping to drift off into a sleep where she wouldn't be haunted by the face of Ellie that day they arrived at Jackson. The face she so blatantly lied to though she had no right to do so.
The tales of Harry Potter lay on her chest, she hoped the book laced with fantasy would offer her an escape to the utter hell of a psyche she had pushed herself into, but it seemed that the ink on the page only brought her restless thoughts closer to another sleepless night.
Iris huffed and closed the hardback book, dog earing the page and sat it next to her on the dresser, the overwhelming feeling of loneliness filled the position next to her on the bed as she turned on her side to face the wall. The woman reached out to the empty space and her mind envision Joel, a man she was becoming closer and closer to as they settled down in Tommy's town.
She wished that he was here with her, to hold her and tell her that Ellie would eventually forgive the two, but the sense of indifference she felt from the girl made her think otherwise.
Iris sat up with a sigh, rubbing her eyes that so desperately wanted to close but her brain was refusing to let her. Standing up from the bed, draping the covers over her spot to make it, she wandered over to the window, where she glanced over at the man in questions house. The lights were still on but the curtains were pulled, letting the light illuminate patterns of flowers onto the ground just outside.
With a smile she didn't know graced her lips, she blow out the candle and grabbed her jacket and boots. Cringing at the sound of creaking floorboards, Iris grabbed a mug from her cupboards and a couple tea bags she had found on patrol, and set out to Joel's house just across the road.
As spring ran into summer, the night time was still warm and the sky that was usually dark by now had only just started to set, she smiled and nodded at some of the people walking past her before she jogged up the short steps to Joel's door. Deciding on pulling the knocker on the door, she waited a couple seconds, she knew that Joel would grumble whenever someone knocked, always complaining that he didn't like to be disturbed.
Joel's head shot up from the guitar he was working on in his workshop when he heard the knocker sound, he knew that was Iris just by the way she did it, since she was the only one to actually use the doorknocker.
The corners of his lips turned up, but only for a second, reminding himself that he shouldn't be so excited, he didn't want to get attached to someone in that way again, no matter how much he wanted to, no matter how much his stomach exploded into butterflies when she so much as looked in his direction.
Pulling himself from the chair, he sets the guitar down on the table, rolling his eyes when one of the strings popped out from it's hold once again, he had no luck for the last few hours trying to model the instrument the way he wanted and maybe the distraction was a sign that it wouldn't go his way if he kept getting worked up at the fiddly object.
Opening the door wider, he stepped out of the study turned workshop and walked down the steps, his hand collecting the dust from the banister that he wiped on his dark jeans with a grimace. Stopping at the front door he glanced through the small hole quickly to see iris looking around the place as she waited for him to answer.
The way she pressed her lips together and scrunched up her nose was a sight for him to behold, he became mesmerized at how her lashes brushed against her lightly freckled cheeks as she blinked and how she tugged at the sleeves of her jacket, standing at the door was becoming awkward for the woman and if Joel didn't open the door just as he did, she would've walked back to her house with her head tilted in embarrassment.
Her dark eyes lit up when he creeked the door open to greet her with a smile, "hi."
Iris returned the smile, straightening up from her hunched stance and replied to an equally calm tone as the man, "hey, you."
Joel opened his home up to her, stretching his arm out to indicate for her to enter, "aren't you usually asleep by now?" He teases as Iris crosses over into his house, shaking off her jacket and hanging it up on the coat rack.
"I couldn't sleep, asshole. I thought maybe you could help with that." The curly haired woman retorts, a flirtatious edge to her words that was topped off with a wink.
Joel blushed a baby pink, he cleared the clog in his throat and looked anywhere but Iris, hoping that since he wasn't able to see her smirk, he wouldn't be so flustered, but the way that her eyes ran over his figure, his heart only raced faster.
An unknown wave of confidence washed over Iris, she moved forward, standing right in front of him and moved his chin upwards, "could you?"
The tall man gulped harshly, his breathing unsteady. He matched her gaze and moved to close the gap between them, enjoying the feeling of her touching him, he said not a word the look in his eyes was enough for Iris to falter and not know how to handle the situation.
Intaking a sharp breathe she stepped back and tried to laugh off the feeling of wanting to lean in, "I was just messing with you."
Joel's hazel eyes widened as he stepped back too, creating an even bigger gap between them, he scratched back of his neck and averted his gaze away once again, "oh yeah, no, I know that."
"Yeah." Iris mumbles, pursing her lips and an uncomfortable silence washed over them, she snuck a look up at the same time as the man but quickly looked away when their eyes met. Was he able to hear how fast her heart was beating right now or was it just her?
"So, what can I help with?" Joel asked, his voice gruff.
She wandered into Joel's kitchen and worked on boiling some water and pulled out his mug and coffee beans, "I thought we could just talk until I feel tired."
Joel follows her through and grabs the small pot of sugar he had stored in the cupboards, he knew how sweet she loved her teas, "sounds like a plan." He smiles at her as though the small moment between them hadn't just happened.
"One sugar?" Iris asked him, nonchalantly putting mounds of the sweet ingrediant in her cup, looking over her shoulder to catch a hum and a nod.
The pair lean against the counter, neither mentioning how their shoulders touched, "so why can't you sleep?" Joel asks
She sighs, subconsciouslyleaning into his warm touch and closes her eyes, the bags under them clear that they were begging for some sort of rest, "I feel guilty. Y'know, for lying and every time I close my eyes I just see her face."
Joel knew what she meant instantly. He too would spend most nights up, relying on coffee and fixing up old guitars to keep his wandering thoughts at bay and to prevent him from going to Ellie's little hut and telling her everything, "it's not your fault, I made you go along with it."
Iris looks up at him, and their eyes connect, neither looking away, it felt right, it felt comfortable whenever they were together, "you can't just blame yourself, we're both at fault here."
"It's the only way." The man frowns but doesn't look away from her. Like he always thought, Iris was his safe space, the one place where he could be utterly truthful and not worry about what the world thought, to him, she was the only thing that mattered to him.
The curly haired woman tries to send him a smile, she to, not breaking their gaze. Joel was her reason to wake up, he was what made her excited to walk to the stables just to see him smiling at the horses, because his smile was worth all the words she would never be able to say to him.
"I just wish it wasn't." Iris says no more and Joel only hums in agreement. They move closer to each other, iris standing slightly on her tip toes so that they were face to face, she could feel him breathing with how close they were.
Joel's hazel eyes flickers between her dark ones and her lips, trying to steady his irregular heart beat and moved to close the gap. However, the kettle on the stove rang a high pitched scream, the pair jumping apart, Iris letting out an uncomfortable laugh and Joel clearing his throat, pushing away from the kitchen island and as far away from the woman as he could.
"Scared me." Iris continued to laugh it off, the embarrassment flushing her face and she could feel her pulse beating frantically.
Joel nods, he rubs his hands up and down his flannel clad arms and points to the living room as he walks backwards, nearly walking into the wall, "I'll, uh, go set up living room..."
Iris gulps, her back was to him and her knuckles were white due to griping at the counter tops, "yep." Hearing his boots become quieter, she lets out a quiet groan, hitting her palm against her forehead, "fuck."
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sorry it's so late but thank you for 10k! i have three more chapters planned for this special series but i hope you enjoy it, stay safe x