Nov 27, 2019 –Pandian house
Kathir felt guilty on his deeds. All his self-control over months would have gone for a toss yesterday. With guilt gnawing him, he avoided meeting her all day. Now sitting at the backyard, he was not sure if Mullai would come for their usual chat. Somewhere deep down he hoped she does not come to see him. How does he even explain his actions to her? What justification can he give her? By now, he should have known about his luck as he saw Mullai approach and sit beside him.
Both sat in silence without knowing how to begin and spoke at the same time
"Nethu.."
Kathir wanted her to talk first even if she is going to rebuke him.
"Nethu apadi azhudhu iruka kudadhu Kathir. Manichudu", she confessed with her head bowed down.
Kathir looked baffled on why she is apologizing for his wrong, when she continued
"Andha booka pathadhum, enamo mathiri ayiduchu. Enakaga oruthan ivalavu serama pattu irukanu."
He realized she was apologizing for hugging him and did not even realize that he was about to kiss her. He felt guilty and relieved at the same time
"Indha. Panadha thapukku ipadi than manipu kepaiya? Nee adha pathu sandhosa paduvenu than vanginean. Ipadi azhuvanu therinju irundha vangi irukavey matean"
"Ada po Kathiru. Avalavu sandhosam, adhan apadi aludhutean.
Naan indha veetla edhuku irukenu kuda theriyama irukean. Oru dabba, oru pathiram mathiri orama. Ipadi enna pathi yosika kuda yaro irukanganu therinju..", she choked on her words. He looked at him and quickly wiped away the tears.
"Sorry. Adhu.." she struggled to complete without letting him know about her relation with Jeeva. If he throbs her more, she would not even hide it from him. She respected him to keep it a secret anymore.
"Oru nimisham iru. Varean" and he went inside and she breathed a sign of relief.
He returned with 2 cups of tea. They sat there drinking tea and staring at the sky without talking anything. It was a clear sky with full moon shinning on them and he felt very peaceful. He felt at ease away from all the wrongs that he has done or was doing.
"Nila'va patha dharbooshini mathiri iruku illa?", she said breaking the silence.
"Edhu? Dharboosiniya?" he chuckled.
"Chinna vayasila appa, amma kuda motamadiyil okandhu natchatiram enuvean. Apo sapida amma edavadhu pazham tharuvanga. Apadi oru naal dharbooshini saptutey nilava pakarpo, rendu orey mathiri irukunu therinjudhu.", she laughed heartily and proudly as if it was one of most authentic invention of the century.
He was looking at her amused. Was she the same girl who was crying to him yesterday? She was not materialistic and was clean at heart, meaning no harm to anybody. She was an extremely simple person who finds happiness in small things around her. How can she be so childish and matured at the same time he wondered?
"Appa motamadhil vechu than amma ku theriyama epovadhu saraku adipar. Naan amma kita matti vituduvenu solli merati enaku thevaiyanadhu elam senju irukean", she was reminiscing her happy memories and ranted without realizing his gaze on her.
"Appa naan evalavu pesinalum okandu porumaiya keapar. Thappu panalum thitama puriyara mathiri yeduthu soluvar. Avar kovama irundha kuda thita matar. Aana, avar 'ammadi mulla'nu kupidama irundhaley romba varuthama irukarnu naan therinjupean."
"Unaku unga amma va vida appa than romba pudikumo?", he asked
"Amam. Unaku?" she asked and immediately snapped out of it looking at his with wide eyes.
"Illa theriyama kettutean Kathiruu", she stammered. He could clearly sense the worry and care for him.
He was looking at her intensely and she started fidgeting with her fingers.
"Appa na avalavu pudikum. Appa irundha varaikum avar kita naan edhumey marachadhu illa. Thappu panna kuda modhala appa kita vandhu soliduvean. Appa kovakarar, aana nyayamana vishayathuku than kandipar. Romba nermaiyanavar, kadinama uzhaipar. Naangalum vazhandha otrumaiya, nermaiya irukanumnu adikadi soluvar", he confessed remembering his father life, his illness, his dying as if they happened yesterday .
He was talking his heart out to his woman in front of him. He was devastated when his father passed but he never spoke about it to anyone and showed his brave face to help his elder brother to run the shop and family. All the emotions, which he had buried inside years back, were coming out.
"Appa'va manasu apo apo thedum", he said more to himself.
She moved closer to him and placed a hand on his shoulder and it calmed him. He looked at her and she smiled and nodded with reassurance.
"Yaravadhu yeranduta avanga natchathiram ayiduvanganu enga patti soluvanga. Mama mela irundhu unna pathutu than irupar ipavum"
He smiled a little but continued to stare at the sky.
"Ada nambu Kathiru. Mela irundhu mama, enna da ipadi kanju potu sattai mathiri payan verapavey irukan, eppo siripanu pathutu irupar"
His smile turned wider and twisted her ears and she faked pain and shrieked "Ahh valikudhu Kathiru!"
"Edhu idhu? Adhu sheri" and let go of her ears. "Unaku vaalu matum than illa"
"Naan koranga?. En solla matta. Nee kuda than pakka kuchi iladha korangati mathiri iruka" and let her tongue out and tried to run inside.
"Edhu!!!", he got up and she ran inside before he could catch her.
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Days rolled and it was second week of December. Mullai was busy with her day as usual when her mother called. She went to her room to talk in private
"Sollu ma. Nethu thana veetuku vandhean, inaikey kuptu iruka?"
"En di, en ponnu kita pesa timetable potu than kupidanuma?" , Parvathy sneered.
"Adhu illa. Naan than rendu nalaiku oru vatti phone panuvean. Neeya panni iruka.adhan ketean"
"Kolupu unaku. Kasturi veetuku vandhu irundha. Ava periyama ponnuku valagapuku poitu vara vazhila apadiyey enna pathutu poga vandha.Unna pathi pesitu irundhom, adhan un nenapa irukunu phone panean."
Although Parvathy was always strict with Mullai, she knew how much her mom loved and missed her.
"Athachi'oda periyama yaruma? Naan pathu irukena?"
"Chinna vayasila pathu iruka. Unaku nenaivu irukadhu"
"Oh seri. Yaruney theriyala enaku"
"Kasturi vandhadhil irundhu, Mulali inum visheasham edhum solalayanu than ketutu irundha. Orlayum neraya peru kekka aramichutanga. Kalyanam agi oru varusham aga pogudhu illa", Parvathy asked the question she had wanted to ask her daughter for a year. Like any mom, she wanted to become grandmother when she still had energy to run behind kids.
The talk somehow sailed towards this topic and Mullai suddenly started feeling jittery. She knew this talk was inevitable but was not prepared for it today. How does she tell her mom they have not started a life together or rather she was not even sure if they ever would?
"Amma ipo edhuku intha pechu. Vera edavadhu pesu", she tried steering away from this uncomfortable topic.
"Pinna yepo pesanum? Kelavi aana aparama? Olunga sikirama pula pethukara vazhiya paaru. Chumma thalipodarenu edhum panni vekadha!", Parvathy was rolling her eyes though Mullai couldn't see her.
Mulali was getting edgy to talk to her mom anymore.
"Seri ma. Akka kupidara mathiri iruku. Naan aparam pesarean" and cut the call before her mom could pass any more embarrassing remarks.
She decided to talk to Jeeva that night. Staying away and avoiding was doing no good. She was not even sure where their marriage life was heading. She waited all day and finally they were in their room alone.
"Mama..." she started hesitantly.
"Sollu pa"
"Adhu..."
"Enna thayangara. Edhuva irundhalum sollu pa"
"Illa. Amma call panni irunduchu. Adhu...Vandhu.."
"Enna pa? Athaiku enna achu?"
Having no other way she asked "Elarum vishesham edavadhu irukanu kekaranga pola..."
She waited to gauge his reaction. She did not fail to notice him freeze with what she said. He looked at her blankly few minutes without blinking. She was getting scared as every second passing.
She was sweating profoundly that she started wiping her wet palms in her saree pallu. After few minutes that felt like hours he finally looked at her
Jeeva eyes welled up and he knew he was about to break down, so he managed to say "Enaku konjam velila velai iruku. Idha pathi aparama pesalam" and rushed out of his room.
He sat in backyard thinking about his life. There is no doubt he was still in love with Meena no matter how hard he tries to hide it or forget her. Nevertheless, he has been spoiling another girl's life for a year now. She was scared even to talk to him. Probably because of him, she would not be able to trust any guy in life. She was emotionally weak but braved herself in front of everyone. She had always saved him from his family without revealing the truth, despite him being mean towards her. She did have an amazing heart and all he did repeatedly was to break her heart into pieces. Maybe it is high time he started treating her with respect she deserved as his wife. He wanted to call Meena and end with her officially before he started his life with Mullai. He walked towards the room to apologize to her.
She sat down, trying to grasp things. She was waiting for him to open up and just like that, he left. She brought knees close to her body and tried to shut down all the things from her head. However, her mind would not stop thinking of how all this went. She waited all day to talk to Jeeva, but he just left. Maybe she was wrong to expect a reaction of care and worry. She could not sleep, so she just got up and stood leaning onto the window. She practically hated herself at that moment of being weak, for crying, for listening to her heart that someday he might care. It hurt badly and she was angry on herself for letting him walk out on her, when she heard the door open.
She turned around to see him standing
"Pesalama?" he asked and Mullai just nodded.
"Okaru pa", he gestured toward the bed. Mullai took tired steps and sat down. He pulled a chair and placing it opposite to Mullai he sat down. He looked straight into her eyes. It was the first time he did that and instantly she knew that something not very good was about to be spoken and heard.
"Idhuku mela un kita maraika venamnu pakarean pa. Un kita neraya pesanum. Indha nerathila pesa venam. Nee paduthu thungu. Nalaiku saindhiram kadaiyil irundhu sikiram varean. Velila engayavadhu polam. Seriya?"
She just nodded not sure on what is in store for her.
Present – Pandian stores
Kathir stood there in shock and was not sure if she was here for real or it was just his imagination. Her face changed seeing him and she stormed out of the shop. He did not understand why she would come to the shop if she did not want to see him. He wanted her to talk to him or at least look at him. This cold greeting and running away left a bitter taste in his mouth.
Last 3 months, he has always been anxious with sleep cycle being disturbed. His head ached, his appetite was gone and he did all extra work just to keep him occupied. However when his eyes landed on her, a sense of euphoria swirled through him and felt like all anxieties were settled.
Staying away from Mullai when she was not around was hard, but staying away, her when she was around was a personal hell for Kathir. The minute he saw her, all the reason for staying away sounded so trivial and all he wanted was to go to her and listen to her voice.
Making up the mind, he rushed behind her in full speed.
"Mulla", he even shouted but she ignored it completely, now walking forward in full speed. She almost crossed end of the next street and he had to run to catch her.
"Mulla", he yelled angrily when he reached her and gripped her wrist to stop her but her wince caught him off guard. He let go of her hand immediately.
"Deiva senju en pinadi varadha", she stomped towards the auto stand.