Yunho sat on a temporary bed in the hospital. His shoulder wound, cleaned and wrapped in bandages, didn't hurt anymore, though it still ached if he tried to raise his arm above his chest.
"Stop staring at it." He chuckled, looking at Mingi. "It won't heal faster if you do."
"I know." Mingi tore his gaze away carefully. "I still can't believe I did that to you. I- I'm..." He trailed off and stared at his fingers that were fiddling with the fabric of his pants.
"Hey," Yunho said, leaning forward to take Mingi's hand. It was like slipping into a furry glove - always warm and comfortable. "I'm fine. This is nothing compared to what you had to go through."
Mingi stiffened at that. The memories of what he has done were still fresh in his mind, like hundreds of needles pointed at the inside of his skull - not lethal, but not pleasant at all. They also gnawed at his heart, a constant reminder that he had hurt so many people without even being aware of his actions.
"I'm happy enough to know that you'll never do it again," Yunho added, emphasizing the 'you'.
A squeeze on his hand made Mingi look up. He saw a reassuring smile on Yunho's lips and immediately his eyes began to sting with tears. Knowing those tears would fall if he spoke, he tightened his grip on Yunho's hand too, hoping that would somehow transfer his thoughts across.
Thank you for forgiving me - I don't deserve it but thank you for doing it so I have a chance to forgive myself.
A ringtone spared Mingi the need to actually say anything. Using his free hand, he took his phone and checked the caller ID. After a moment of hesitation, he said, "It's San."
He slackened his other hand but Yunho held on. "Give me the phone after you're done. I want to talk to him."
Mingi glanced up in surprise but obliged and nodded as he lifted the phone to his ear. "Hello?"
There was a long silence before San spoke. "I'm sorry I took so long to call you. When you ran out I thought you wanted to be alone, and I thought I was the last person you'd want to listen to. But Yunho's friend came back and told me Yunho found you and I was just so glad-"
"It's okay," Mingi cut off before his flatmate could ramble any further. San sounded so different, so anxious and worried. The usual confidence and firmness he had when he told Mingi to take his medications and stay home at night was gone. "You told me the truth in the end. You stayed with me all these years just to give me a somewhat normal life. I can't ask for more."
When San spoke again his voice was choked. "Yes you can. Even if you don't I will still do more for you. I will help you get proper treatment. You deserve to be happy with Yunho, so I'm sorry for trying to ruin that. I'm sorry for everything."
"I get it. You were just trying your best," Mingi said with a smile. Then he looked at Yunho and added, "Don't hang up yet, Yunho wants to talk to you."
Yunho took the phone from Mingi, feeling nervous all of a sudden. He released his hold on Mingi's other hand and diverted his gaze to an empty bed across him.
For a while neither of them said anything. Yunho could feel the awkwardness creeping through the phone speaker, making him shift uncomfortably on his bed. He took a deep breath and mustered the courage to say, "I'm sorry-"
"You were right," said San at the same time.
Flustered, the word slipped out of Yunho's mouth. "What?"
"Everything you said this morning," replied San. Each word ended abruptly as if he wasn't quite sure if he was saying the right thing. "I thought I knew what was best for Mingi, but clearly not."
"No." Yunho straightened up. "I mean, I understand that you just wanted to do everything you could. I understand why you wanted to keep the truth from him, so I'm sorry for shouting at you back then."
San let out a bitter chuckle. "It's fine. I probably deserved that." He paused here and Yunho could hear his soft breathing. "I already told Mingi that I'll help him with his treatment and everything, so don't worry about that. Just focus on...being with him, I guess. You're better at that than I am. This sounds weird but thank you for believing him all this time. I've never seen him so happy before."
At that, Yunho turned to face Mingi, who was meticulously refolding Yunho's blood-stained coat for the third time since they arrived. Yunho felt the corners of his lips lift up naturally. "I know."
He hung up and returned Mingi's phone just in time for Jongho to appear from behind the blue curtains.
"What took you so long?" Yunho said lightly, but Jongho ignored it and regarded Mingi with a stony face.
"Can I talk to you for a moment?" His voice was flat.
Mingi placed down the coat and tried to maintain a neutral expression as he looked at Jongho. The air tightened with tension when they met each other's gazes, eyes snapping together with electrifying friction.
"Jongho, what's wrong?" Yunho glanced warily at Jongho.
"In private," said Jongho curtly. He turned around and walked away without checking to see if Mingi was following.
"You don't-"
"It's okay," Mingi reassured Yunho. "He has every right to hate me, and I should apologize to him too." Then he followed Jongho out before Yunho could say anything else.
Yunho sighed soundlessly, which turned into a yawn. He was exhausted; he thought everything would be over immediately after San told the truth, but things turned out to much more complicated. Relationships were complicated.
His heart clenched slightly at that thought, from love and something like guilt. Maybe nothing would've happened if he hadn't met Mingi, if he had ignored the special call and forgotten about it the next day. Maybe no one would've gotten hurt, including Jongho's friend Yeosang. But that also meant his and Mingi's lives would stay the same, and neither of them was following a particularly bright path.
And things have changed. Yunho looked around him, at the plain ceiling and bare walls, the old blankets on the impersonal beds, and the consistent blue and white theme of the building. It was the second time this month he found himself in a similar setting, but instead of feeling cold and detached like last time, he felt warm and comfortable.
He wasn't feeling sore as if he was just in a car crash, for one. So he reached over to the visitor chair and picked up the plastic bag Mingi gave him during their car ride here. Inside was the mirror Mingi gave him - the second one, the one he spurned.
The lid came unhinged from the fall, so Yunho took out the second half. He flipped it over carefully, expecting spiderwebs of cracks.
Instead, he saw a smooth glass surface, unblemished and shiny as if polished recently.
"Miracle, isn't it?" Mingi's voice startled Yunho out of his own thoughts. He examined his reflection in the mirror. Other than a few loose strands, his black hair fell neatly on his forehead, complementing his near-black irises. His eyes were like marbles, shining under the ceiling lights like the bright smile on his lips.
"What did you talk about?" Yunho asked, looking up. "Where's Jongho?"
"Well, he told me he'll not let me go if I hurt you again, and I apologized for hurting his friend," Mingi said, eyes still fixed on the mirror in Yunho's hands. Yunho stared at Mingi intently, knowing from the way he avoided eye contact that he was hiding something. Before he could say anything about that, Mingi continued, "He says he wants to leave the rest of the day to us."
"What does that mean?" Yunho raised his eyebrows.
"It's Christmas, remember?" Mingi looked at Yunho properly now, holding all their belongings in his hands. "Let's pay your medical fees and go have fun."
It was late afternoon by the time they had something to eat and decided where to go.
Yunho, holding a soft puppy plushie - Mingi's Christmas present for him - sat down on a bench facing the sea. Mingi was walking slowly across the promenade towards him, his own present the woolen scarf wrapped around his neck.
He took a seat next to Yunho and handed him a plastic spoon for the cup of ice cream they were about to share. It was cold, especially with the icy wind blowing from the open sea just beyond the harbor, but eating the dessert still felt like a must-do during winter.
"Oh-!" Mingi's hand tensed around the cup, his other frozen in midair as he squeezed his eyes and parted his lips. "Brainfreeze," he explained once it was over.
Yunho laughed, licking his spoon clean with no trouble. A chill spread through him but it was worth the sweet taste and the dopamine rush that came with it. He turned to Mingi, who was already scooping more ice cream as if nothing had happened.
"So what is it?" Yunho asked, staring at the other's side profile. The Christmas lights along the fence at the edge of the promenade made Mingi's skin glow blue, green, and yellow, yet his hair and eyes caught the last of the sun's rays and were speckled with gold.
"What's what?" Mingi said, staring out at the sea, its calm surface the same color as his hair.
"What did you really talk about with Jongho back then? Because you can tell me if he said anything mean." Another gust of wind assailed them, messing up both of their hair.
"No, he didn't upset me." Mingi placed the ice cream down on the bench next to his lap but continued admiring the scene in front of him. "He apologized. He felt sorry for blaming me when I have a legitimate medical condition." He faced Yunho properly now, a hint of sadness in his eyes. "But I feel sorry too. Having dissociative identity disorder doesn't give me an excuse to hurt people. So I'm going to turn myself in to the police."
Silence settled in between them. There was only the roar of rushing water hitting the stone walls of the port and distant chatter of people celebrating outdoors.
"Oh," Yunho finally said, looking down at his lap. "I'm glad you're doing the right thing," he managed to add. And it was true; it was him who wasn't prepared.
Mingi slipped a hand between Yunho's loosely interlocked ones. "I'm only doing this because I know you'll wait for me."
Heart fluttering, Yunho dropped the plushie and angled his body to hug Mingi. "Of course. I've gotten used to waiting for you every night."
Everything around them dimmed as the sun dipped further below the horizon. The boats parked near the harbor silhouetted against the sky, now a purple and pink backdrop that added to the colorful Christmas lights.
They released each other but Yunho barely got time to breathe before Mingi cupped his hands around his face and leaned down to connect their lips. Yunho could still taste the sweetness of the vanilla ice cream against the soft, plump flesh.
Then, as quickly as it happened, Mingi pulled away and stood up, becoming another silhouette against the sunset. Despite his efforts, his brown eyes betrayed a hint of wariness as he eyed the darkening sky.
"I should probably go now. But wait for me." He looked down at Yunho, and with a smile, he finished, "Until the next sunrise."