You will hurt people. You will hurt, and you will be hurt. However, you will also love, and you will be loved in the most magnificent ways. To live life is to understand that together these extremes thrive within us — our heart is both a blessing and a blade. To put our soul into the hands of someone who could wound it or heal it is quite possibly the most courageously beautiful risk we take.
- Bianca Sparacino
Today had been enjoyable, despite me not talking to Daphne. It was just easier like this for a while, to avoid the issues at hand.
What made it enjoyable was the Weasley twins, surprisingly.
I wasn't quite sure what had caused it, but they suddenly decided that school was no longer necessary. Quite stupid if you ask me, with only two more months to go, but first class entertainment for us.
I couldn't show just how excited their fireworks made me as I had to keep my composure, trying to act as if it was childish and ridiculous, but I couldn't contain a laugh as a giant dragon chased Umbridge out of the Great Hall.
It was the talk of the castle for the rest of the day, probably the rest of the week too. I didn't mind the hustle and bustle for once. It took my mind off of things.
I didn't like fighting with Daphne though, but why couldn't she just see that he was not into her? She was so blinded by her love for him and everyone could see that it was not going to work out. But I could never tell her about snogging him. Tracey already knew and that was one person too many. This just had to stop, but I didn't want it to.
"Oi Selwyn!" I looked up surprised, a little dazed by my daydream. I could have fallen asleep in front of the fireplace, but I had duties.
"I'll be right there", I told Draco and then went up to my room to grab my coat. It had become a lot warmer lately, as it was almost May, but the nights were still cold. I noticed Daphne on her bed, but she didn't even acknowledge me.
"Ready", I said as I reached the common room again. I never really enjoyed patrol that much, but suddenly being alone with Draco for an hour didn't seem all that bad.
No, it had to stop. I couldn't ruin my friendship over a physical attraction. But then where had that boy found the audacity to look so good in a black coat?
But it didn't take more than fifteen minutes before he had me pinned against the wall again.
"Patrol just got a lot more interesting", he whispered in my ear. I could not give in.
"This has got to stop, Malfoy", I said and gently pushed him away from me. I realized that I hadn't called him Draco since that one night where he told me not to.
"And why's that? I thought you were fine with this", he said, not moving an inch.
"I was, but Daphne is getting jealous", I sighed. "And I can't do this to her. I can't go behind her back like that."
"You're not going to tell her, are you?" he asked, stepping back slightly.
"No, I'm not, but I can't continue doing this. She's my best friend and she's been really suspicious. You know how jealous Daphne gets", I mumbled.
"Well, she has no reason to be jealous."
"Yeah then maybe you should tell her instead of leading her on like that. She's in love with you, Malfoy, and she still thinks she has a shot whilst you've got a thing with her best friend."
"She is not the bloody problem", he snapped. "She shouldn't be jealous because there is nothing going on here, Selwyn."
I raised an eyebrow, not quite sure what he meant by that.
"What are you talking about?"
"There's nothing to talk about, Selwyn!"
"Yes there is!" I shouted, checking my surroundings to check if there was anyone who might be listening in, but yet again the hallways were empty.
"I don't have a thing with her best friend. This doesn't mean anything and I thought we had made that quite clear at the beginning", he growled, stepping closer again.
That hurt a little. Why did it? This was purely physical, he was right. It didn't mean anything, this was nothing.
"You're right", I said. "But that doesn't improve the situation. Even if it's meaningless, I can't go behind her back, snogging the bloke she's into."
"Sure, then it ends here, Selwyn", he sighed. "Just walk away if that's what you want, I couldn't care less", he shrugged and walked on. I knew he was lying, just like that last time he had walked out after an almost-kiss.
"You really expect me to believe that?" I asked, which caused him to turn around again. He narrowed his eyes. His hair seemed made of moonlight in the dark.
"Believe what?" he asked. I felt my feet move towards him, where they should not be going.
"That you don't care", I said. He stopped right in front of me, staring into my eyes as if the answers were right there.
"I don't", he said shortly. I had the urge to touch him and to kiss him, but I couldn't. "I can find someone else, you just happened to be there."
My throat ran dry and I had to clench my jaw to keep a straight face. That hurt. I just happened to be there. I was an easy option.
When had I, Eleanor Selwyn, become an easy option, a girl to just use and toss aside? By Draco Malfoy for Merlin's sake. And why did it pain me?
"Good", I mumbled and turned back. I was done with patrol for today.
I forced myself to keep a normal pace, not wanting to seem affected by his words, but the walk back to the common room seemed to last an eternity.
It was done. We ended it.
It was better this way. I wouldn't hurt Daphne, I could recover a little bit of my dignity and I could focus on the upcoming O.W.L.'s. There was no reason why I should continue sneaking around with Malfoy like this, no reason at all.
"Hey, Lea, back already?" Tracey asked as I walked in. I nodded and smiled. She was already suspicious, I couldn't have her asking questions. There was no reason to act differently anyway. I should be happy, even. It was fun for a little while, but it was done now.
"Up for some Wizard's Chess?" I asked, which immediately got her excited. I noticed Daphne on the other side of the common room. She looked a little sad and it broke my heart. Why had I let Draco Malfoy come in between this? She had been my best friend for years. A boy should not be allowed to ruin that.
So my feet walked up to her and I just pulled her into a hug. And she hugged me back.
"I'm sorry for lashing out like that, Daphne", I whispered. "I've just been a little on edge lately."
"Why is that? You know you can talk to me, right?" she said, pulling away just enough to look me in the eyes. I wanted to tell her so badly, but she wouldn't understand. She was too blinded by hope.
"One day I will, okay? Right now I just need my best friend back." Luckily, she accepted that lousy excuse. I would tell her, one day, but I couldn't now, not yet.
"Come on, let's beat Tracey at Wizard's Chess", I grinned and pulled her to the couch.
"Thank Merlin, I hate it when you two fight", she smirked. "Means I have to pick sides and I'm terrible at that."
I let out a relieved breath and focused on the chess set before me, the game my grandfather had taught me how to play. And I would never lose a game because of it.
"Daphne", Draco's voice sounded from behind me. "Are we still on for that date to Hogsmeade this Saturday?"