Toni was curled at the foot of the dining room table, her cheek pressed up against the sticky laminate flooring. She wasn't sure how long she had been there or when her foster mom, Carol, finally grew tired of repeatedly kicking her in the stomach. When she eventually opened her senses to the world once again, the distinct smell of cigarette smoke and fake laughter echoing from the television indicated that Toni could slip out the front door and head to school without Carol causing her to be later than she already was.
Some things never change.
This was her 8th foster home in 9 years, each one was pretty much just as bad as the last. Foster parents like Carol, however, were worst. Foster homes which indicated that the owners had money were always a double-edged sword. They were either lovely, something Toni had only experienced once, or they were sick people who got of on asserting their power over a minor. Her current placement was the latter. Again.
Toni stepped outside, still shaking from her encounter with Carol. This was exacerbated by the heavy snow falling from the sky.
"Fuck," Toni muttered to herself. In the state she had left the house in it was a wonder that she had managed to grab her school bag. Her teeth and hair were not brushed, Her clothes were the hoodie and jeans she had left on the floor from the previous day, and her coat was hanging on the hook in the lounge.
There was no way she was going back in there. With shaky, numb hands, she reached for her phone and dialled the only person she knew would answer immediately.
After three rings music blared through the line. A muffled sound was emitted through the speaker before the music was muted. "Sorry about that. Hey Toni!" Hearing Martha's voice immediately made her feel better. Mentally, that is, nausea was still swirling in stomach after her beating.
"Martha! I am so sorry but I need a favour." She braced herself to lie to her best friend, again. "My foster mum is not well and I would really appreciate a ride because I left my coat at Dot's house when I studied there last night."
At least the part about studying at Dot's was not a lie. It was, however, the reason for her beating this morning. Ever since Carol found out that Toni was gay, any time she stayed out past 10 her foster mom assumed she was defiling some poor straight girl. Carol wasn't the most homophobic foster parent she'd had, but she was certainly the most inventive in terms of excuses to beat her foster child. Toni didn't even think she cared that she was gay, it just gave Carol a good reason to take a power trip.
After a view seconds of silence Toni began to worry that Martha would say no. An hour walk in a snow storm with no coat and a potentially broken rib was not ideal, she thought, but she was sure she could manage. She had been through worse, and she wasn't dead yet. Just as she mentally prepared herself for the cold trek, Martha spoke up, "I mean... Of course I'll give you a lift." Toni sighed in relief, wincing as a sharp pain reverberated in her chest. Martha continued, "But, she's been sick nearly every other day this month. I'm wondering if she should see someone. Should she be caring for minors? Or is there something you're not telling me?"
"No, no, no!" Toni nearly yelled, quickly lowering her voice remembering that she was still standing just outside of Carol's house. "It's nothing like that, she's just having a bad month. If there was anything going on I'd tell you." She cringed at her lie.
"I know you would," Martha concurred, making Toni feel worse. "I'm just around the corner, I'll see you in a minute."
"Okay," Toni muttered, guilt rippling through her body. Or maybe it was just nausea. She quickly hung up and staggered down the porch step leaning into a bush and the end of the front yard. She gagged a few times before finally vomiting a small amount of bile and alarmingly, blood into Carol's rose bush. Every retch sent an electric shock of pain through her ribs. Tears sprung to her eyes and she fell to her knees, wrapping her arms around her chest. After a few shallow breaths she stood, wiped her mouth and rubbed the tears out of her eyes. Luckily it was cold so her red eyes would likely blend in with her red cheeks.
Her stomach had only just settled when Martha's little boxy four wheel drive flew around the corner by her house and came to a grinding stop in front of the driveway. Toni did not know much about cars, but she was sure that the screech, akin to the sound a dying crow would make, did not suggest a viable driving technique. The thought of entering Martha's swerving, speeding death trap made her stomach flip once again but she ignored it and chuckled as Martha rolled down the window and drawled in a poor English accent, "May I offer you a ride m'lady?"
Toni rapidly rubbed her hands together trying to defrost her frozen fingers before reaching for the passenger seat door handle. "Hey Marty."
"Don't worry about it. I was going this way anyway." Toni knew that she wasn't. In fact this route to school was completely out of her way. She was thankful anyway though. "What is up with your foster mom anyway?" Martha asked, shifting the car into first gear and taking off.
"Ah who cares about her," Toni replied. She ran her tongue over her furry feeling teeth remembering something. She leaned forward, opened the glovebox and immediately the little emergency kit that Martha had put together for when she ran away from previous foster homes. She didn't know what she had done to deserve a friend like Martha.
Waving the newly found toothbrush and toothpaste in front of Martha face she asked, "Do you mind if I quickly brush my teeth? I overslept after my evening with Dot."
"Yeah sure." Martha didn't seem to read any deeper into that excuse as she reached for the volume button and let the music blast through the car again. Toni laughed as Martha rapped along to a song she hardly knew and with a mouth full of toothpaste she joined in using her toothbrush as a microphone as she sang random words to the unfamiliar verse.
She briefly forgot about the trauma of her morning, the way she always did when she made her best friend laugh.
They pulled up at the school, miraculously, on time. Mindlessly, Toni reached to unbuckle her seat belt causing her to keel over and let out a gasp. Winded, she straightened up and turned her head towards Martha, careful not to jostle her injuries. The look of concern all over her friends face sent a wave of rage through the injured girl.
She should be able to enjoy a journey to school with her best friend, dance freely in the passenger seat, or even laugh without pain. She couldn't think with her fists at this home the way she did in every other situation that caused her or others to be victimised. She was on her final warning for disorderly behaviour; if she got kicked out of this foster home she would be sent to a group home. Toni would not put herself through hell the way she was doing now if there was a group home within a 50 mile radius of her school, which there was not. She simply could not live without Martha.
She just had to stick it out for two more years. Two more years until she could finish school and move into her own place.
"Toni..." Martha trailed off, her voice barely a whisper.
Toni hung her head, guilt rippling through her chest for causing her best friend to worry and for the next lie she had to tell. "It's nothing, I got into a fight yesterday at basketball practice." Luckily her knuckles were already bruised and scabbed from a fight she had gotten into earlier in the week which helped to sell the lie.
Martha sighed in annoyance, indicating that she believed her. Toni would rather Martha be disappointed in her for picking a fight rather than worried about her home life. It was not a hard lie to believe; Toni lost her temper on a near weekly basis at school. "Show me."
"What?" Toni replied, confused about her friend's apparent disinterest in her fake fight.
"Show me your injuries, take of your shirt."
"Oh." Toni smirked, letting out a small chuckle. "Had I known..." She trailed off with a mock seductive wink.
"Toni, don't joke. I am serious," Martha groaned out in frustration.
She hadn't even looked at her own injuries yet. There was no way she was going to show Martha without knowing how bad they were herself. "Look, I am fine. I've been through worse and injuries are always more tender the second day." She climbed out of the car before Martha could respond, noting the empty parking lot and realising that first period had probably already started.
A faint mumble sounded from the car before Toni heard a door slam and snow crunching as Martha jogged to catch up. "You and your fights have made us late once again," She joked, giving Toni's hand a light squeeze.
"Oh please," Toni scoffed good-naturedly giving Martha a small shove. "The amount of times your dangerous driving and lack of direction have brought on weekend detention for tardiness is far higher than my quarrels."
"Quarrels? Try all out brawls!"
Relieved that she had sidestepped any major drama with Martha this morning, the pair walked into their first period math class 15 minutes late and were immediately presented with tardy slips.
Not a great start to the day, Toni thought, Could have been much worse though.