Let's Play Pretend

| Ten |

Since they were kids, Yuna always knew what she wanted. She knew what type of doll she wanted for Christmas ⁠— in detail from the edition to the outfit, she had it all down. In high school, she knew she would only drink matcha lattes with almond milk and less ice. Deciding what university to go to was even an easy feat for her. She just had to check how much she'd pay with her scholarships and the ratings and decide from there.

Every decision has been simple for Yuna, but when it came to love, she overthought everything. Not just with Ryujin, even with Chaeryeong, she just wasn't sure. She liked the feeling of floating on clouds and the butterflies, sure, but was she ever ready to just confess? Was she ever ready to commit time and be vulnerable with another being? Maybe not. That's why with Ryujin, things became complicated. With Ryujin, everything was easy. She trusted her; before she even knew the concept of time, her time was Ryujin's and the latter's time was hers.

Yuna has always known what she wanted, and maybe that's why it hurts like hell that for once in her life, she had not known. With the fear of losing her best friend, her other half, she didn't know if she wanted to be selfish. For once in her life, she put someone else before her own needs, her own desires.

Maybe that's why it hurts like hell. Cause she finally realized, not everyone gets what they want. Even if they are so sure of it.

"That was weird," Chaeryeong commented at the blurry silhouette that appeared in her line of vision after the window shut rather dramatically. Ryujin nodded and brushed it off. She sat down again to take out her bluetooth earbuds.

"... how long are you planning to avoid her? Also, you better not be using me. Yuna is still my friend⁠—"

Ryujin rolled her eyes, plugging the other earbud in, "Relax, coach. I didn't even tell her who I like, but I'm just a hurt and terrible person. Not bad to give her the benefit of the doubt, right? It's not like I'm lying."

As she was saying it, she realized that all this time, she's been selfless to Yuna's needs. To say she resented Yuna was a stretch because if the younger girl suddenly went to her doorstep and yelled the three words she's been wanting to hear since forever, she would say them back in a heartbeat. But for now, Ryujin had to take care of herself and giving Yuna space while also setting boundaries was the best option she could think of.

Ryujin knows that she's hurting Yuna as a friend, but she has also been hurting for the entirety of their fake relationship. Is it bad that she wants the younger girl to be in her spot temporarily? Is it bad that she wants to see Yuna fight for her as she did in the past? Is it selfish?

"I can hear your thoughts, and it's not cause I'm right next to you... I also know that they've stemmed from pain."

The older girl took her bike, "Need a ride?"

Chaeryeong sighed, "You better still offer me rides when you and Yuna make up."

Ryujin smirked, "Well, it's a two-seater, so can't promise that." She grabbed the helmet from the rear basket and placed it on her head, buckling the strap. As she did so, she couldn't help but like how she didn't have to tiptoe to put a helmet on someone.