Drop in the Ocean [Harmione]

15. Crash

Crash

Touch your lips just so I know
In your eyes, love, it glows so
I'm bare-boned and crazy... for you.

Oh, and you come crash into me
Baby, and I come into you
In a boy's dream
In a boy's dream

And if I've gone overboard
Then I'm begging you
To forgive me
In my haste
When I'm holding you so girl,
Close to me

(Crash, Dave Matthews Band)

She was staring out at the ocean taking in the breathtaking view. There wasn't a cloud in the sky and the sun was reflecting off the ocean. It was a perfect day---outside. Inside, it was a completely different story. Harry had read the letter twice and he was literally at a loss for words. He didn't know what to say. He was afraid anything he said would make things worse and after everything he and Hermione had been through, he didn't want to do that.

"Hermione..."

"I woke up this morning feeling so guilty about what I'd done to him," Hermione interjected, her back still to Harry. "I hated myself for what I'd done to him."

Absently, she ran a hand through her hair. "I'm not saying that I really have a leg to stand on here, Harry. I've never been one of those people who used the old two wrongs making a right excuse. I always thought that was such a copout."

"Hermione..."

She turned suddenly and looked at him. "Did you know about what he was doing? You're his best mate after all. I'm sure he told you all about it; knowing him he probably bragged about it, too."

Harry looked away and Hermione had her answer.

"That's just great," she said quietly. "You knew and you didn't tell me."

"How long?" Hermione asked him point-blank. "How long has he been doing this? From the start?"

Harry nodded.

"I can't believe I was such an idiot!" Hermione exclaimed. "I should have seen this coming. He would cancel dates. He would show up late for certain things. And I never once questioned him. I thought it was because I wasn't—"

"Wasn't what?"

Hermione shook her head. "It doesn't matter, Harry. I just---I've been feeling guilty for what happened. I felt like I'd betrayed him. And I have, but still..."

Inwardly, Harry groaned. While he was beyond glad that Hermione knew the complete truth now, he was afraid of what it would ultimately mean for them---him and Hermione. He felt like a selfish jerk, but it was how he was truthfully feeling at the moment.

As if there is even an "us" to consider. Our 'relationship' is over before it even had a chance to begin.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Hermione asked him, her eyes shining with tears.

There it was---the big question.

"It wasn't my place to tell you, Hermione," Harry finally answered. "I wanted to tell you so many times, but I just couldn't do it."

"Just go," Hermione said, turning away from him. "Just go, Harry."

Harry nodded and placed the letter back on the coffee table. He was halfway to the door when he stopped himself. If she thought he was going to let her go that easily, she had another thing coming.

"It wasn't my place to tell you, Hermione," Harry said startling her. She turned around and looked at him, her arms crossed.

"Not your place?"