Lacuna //joshler//

.05

    tw//mention of self-harm, abuse and rape

    It was midday when Josh invited Tyler over to his apartment to talk. Josh didn't know what was wrong with his new boyfriend and what was so urgent. He was almost afraid to invite him over. The now purple haired boy doesn't deal well with bad news.

        There was a knock in Josh's apartment door, signaling Tyler was here. Purple boy took a deep breath and opened the door.

        "Hey, baby! What's up?" Josh questioned, sounding excited to see Tyler. The brunette smiled and hugged his boyfriend, then went to sit on the couch.

        "So, before we really get into our relationship, there's some stuff you should know. It's kind of heavy and hard to talk about, but I can do it." Tyler started. He decided to talk about Matt last.

        "I do take meds for anxiety and depression, but also had a problem with psychosis for a while. That's why you has seen me go into the shop the other day. I've gone to a psychiatric hospital twice in my life and you can most likely guess why. I've had problems with going off my meds because they make me garbage and disgusting, but they help. I'm on the path to recovery." explained Tyler, huffing at the end. Josh was confused how he could just say it like that.

        Josh was bewildered to say the least. He didn't think it would've been that serious of a talk.

        "But wait - there's more!" Tyler laughed. Josh tried to cracking a smile, but it didn't work out very well.

            Flashback

        Tyler walked into his boyfriend's, Matt, apartment. It was warm in there because it was the winter months and the snow was lying on ground.

        "Matt, I'm home. I brought dinner as well!" Tyler yelled, sitting it down on the counter. Matt came out of their bedroom, red covering his face.

         "I told you to be home an hour ago, Tyler. How dare disobey my rules!" He yelled, scaring Tyler. This was a new side of Matt - a scary side.

         Matt raised his hand and slapped Tyler across the face, making a welt on Tyler's cheek. Tears started to role down the brunette's face.

        This was only the beginning of the bad relationship.

             *
        Matt had been out all night at a bar, leaving Tyler alone at the apartment. The brunette was only seventeen at the time and Matt was nineteen. Matt went to bars because he had a fake ID and we looks older than when he is.

        Tyler wore a sweater to hide the marks that Matt caused. The boy relied on self-harm to take away the pain that his 'boyfriend' was causing. He had the marks everywhere on his precious skin.

        "Honey, I'm h-home!" Matt slurred, busting open the door. Fear rose is Tyler's stomach and up into his throat.

        Matt waltzed into the living room where his boyfriend was at. He picked Tyler up and carried him to the bedroom that they shard. Matt laid him down and started kissing him. Tyler didn't want at that moment, but he could resist Matt.

        "M-Matt, no. Stop it, please!" Tyler said. Matt pulled away with anger on his face.

        "Don't you dare resist me! You'll really get it now!" shouted Matt. Tyler flinched as Matt's fist made love with Tyler's body.

        At that moment in time, Matt had done something to Tyler that he could never forget. Matt had raped Tyler.

        Tyler had tears rolling down his face as his lifeless body got trusted into. The brunette couldn't stop his so-called-boyfriend from doing the action because it was already done.

            *
        No one had seen Tyler days after that had happened. Matt didn't come home very much and when he did he was drunk or high. One day, Mark thought to check up on Tyler.

        Not knowing what was behind the door, Mark opened it. The air was stale and the apartment was half of a mess. He walked into the bedroom and the bed wasn't made and laundry sat on the floor. Dishes sat in the sink and on the counter. Mark walked into the bathroom next and that's where he found Tyler, in the bathroom crying in his own blood.

        "I'm so sorry. I-I can't do it!" Tyler sobbed, looking at his own body. Mark covered his mouth and looked away.

        "I'm going to call an ambulance, okay? Everything is going to be alright." Mark stated, trying to get Tyler happy.

        End

        Tyler had a couple years rolling down his face. Josh just looked at the ground and folded his hands, not knowing how to respond.

        "The second time I went was three months ago. I had went off my meds and it was bad. Mark yet again found me in a pool of my own blood. Those one required many stitches." Tyler laughed, trying to get the images  our his head. The two just looked at each other with years on their faces. 

        "I still want to date you. All of that makes no difference to me, Tyler." Josh replied, making Tyler hug him. Tyler pulled away and looked at purple boy's face, then connecting their lips together.

        *

        The two boys spent the day watching movies then going out to dinner.  Hands were held and kisses were shared throughout the day, making both of them happy. Tyler actually felt the happiness in his bones, yet it felt like feeling he's never felt before.